Monday, November 29, 2004
Bobby Jones:Stroke of Genius: I was on my way to Hawaii over the summer and the in-flight movie was this gem. My peanuts were good.
Hero: As I'm sure you know, we've had this puppy way before QT set his eyes on it. The color is just one reason to see it. Luther: Joseph Fiennes, who last played a young Billy Shakespeare, stars a yet another historical figure. This one however, not as revered. Plagued by voices, scandal, and priests, Luther goes on to kick some catholic ass. Enjoy all yee petty christians!
Prisoner Cell Block H: This badass series from down under finally hits the plastic. If you had this in jail, you'd be nobody's bitch. Filmed over 600 episodes, this dvd collection only contains about 20 or so. What do you expect? Anyways, it's here ripe for the picking, just don't get caught stealing.
RADIOHEAD The Most Gigantic Lying Mouth: Take a deep breath. Radiohead's latest DVD compilation is here. It's a hard find, you can try to track down via w.a.s.t.e., but good luck converting those GBPs. Featuring about two hours of custom film to the soundtrack of our favorite progressive Brits. A hottie for hardcore's and collectors, we have only 1 for sale and 2 for rent. That means it's limited. The early bird catches the bends! For sale, $36.99!
Spider-man 2: Doc Oc attacks the big apple, as young Spidey threatens to quit. All hell and CGI breaks loose after plenty of web-slingin action. Sam Raimi directs his follow-up and Tobey rides horses.
Voyage in Time: The cameras follow acclaimed director Andrei Tarkovsky as he is forced out of the USSR and settles in Italy. Learn the story of this badass director and watch as he struggles to recieve independence from censors and seperation from his family.
Little notes on the store:
-Swing by the recommened wall check out our new sections.
SEASON'S SCREENINGS: We've brought the best of the holiday filmfare to put you in the mood. Featuring classics like Christmas Vacation, Die Hard, and Bad Santa.
IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE KIDSMAS: Just for your tots we have The Christmas Simpsons Special, Home Alone and Pee-Wee Xmas Special.
-Staff Picks Updated:
Rick: WALKIN THROUGH A WINTER WONDERLAND features our favorite characters running and messing with the snow. Always watch out for yellow snow. Always.
Julia: EUROTRIPPIN some girls have all the luck.
Andy: !EL FRIO NO ME GUSTA! Living vicariously through characters and scenery, Andy tries to get out of town in search of the some warmer weather.
MORE TO COME CHRISTMAS TIME IS HERE so we have what you need. We've travelled the world in search of some amazing stuff. We have everything from Eraserhead to Ingmar Bergman masterpieces. And if we don't have it, and it's available we can get it to you lickitysplit! We also have badass posters, used dvds, gift certs, rental certs, candy, and new items, All-Region DVD players, yes you heard right, and Screenprinted T-shirts featuring some of our favorite personalities like Twiggy, Jean-Michel Basquiat and Stanley Kubrick. Come over and we'll have some egg nog.
that's it. go home or come here. www.vidtheque.com
Monday, November 22, 2004
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Hhhheeeee's back! Before I get into this, you may want to change your child's pants. Mr. boy Potter and his hormones are in for their umpteenth installment adapted from the cashcow books. This time it's directed by Mexican perv, Alfonso Cuaron, better known by Y Tu Mama Tambien. My Mexican mom loved that movie, except ya' know, all that sex stuff. Anyways, Pooter wants some Hermione action, but badass Sirius Black gets in the way. But who is this Sirius, and is he serious? HA! I gotta say, Oldman got a pretty baaaad name for his character. He should be counting his blessings that it wasn't Ron Weasley.
Seinfeld Seasons 1-3: The one you've been waiting for. Now you should go change YOUR pants. Jerry, Cosmo, Elaine and George are all back with nothing. Perfect for your television needs, the set is about 8 discs wide with plenty of little bitty extras. Some may call this your favorite show ever, others prefer Teletubbies, whatever the case may be, stop watching so much tv.
Sleepover: I would love to. Oh, teens? Naw, too old. ANYWAYS, this little film was probably overshadowed by Mean Girls and The Thunderbirds, but nows your chance to give it some respectability. That is, if teen comedy is your thang. And probably more respectability than I've given VT. I'm sorry guys!
Stealing Sinatra: Someone stole our copies.
The Terminal: Oscar-schlepper Tom Hanks teams up again with Oscar-schleppee Steven Spielbie. This time, Hanks is stranded in an airport with no volleyball to talk to, he then paints a face onto his luggage and commits lascivious acts with them. He tries to converse with the airport crew, but have you ever tried talking to them? All you get are grunts. Especially during these times of high stress and orange color bars. Catherine-Zeta Jones is in this for some unknown reason. Maybe Oscar dust will rub off on her too. We can all dream, can't we?
Zhou Yu's Train: It's kinkier than you think. A cermacist takes a train ride to have "mad passionate love with him" (taken from IMDB) and then meets someone else, and takes another train to have "mad passionate love with him" and then meets more people to have "mad passionate love with them." See, I told you so. Now if a man was doing this, they'd call him a slut! Goddamn sexism! One day I'm gonna meet someone and take a train to have "mad passionate love with him" err her.
If your looking to blow some cash, send it our way! We've stocked our DVD racks with some of the craziest shit eva! We got everything from David Lynch's Short Films to the badass Cassavetes DVD box set. Let's not forget our supercool Posters, Gift Certs in any amount, Rental Certs and enough candy to give you seven cavities! That's it.
See what you have to be thankful for! Everyone here at VT wants to wish you and your loved ones a great holiday. Don't yell at your family, sit down, be grateful, and save me a slice of Tofurkey. When you get back or have some time from all that holiday shopping, come by and check out soon-to-be-up holiday wall. Filled with all the madness that yule tide brings us; you can veg out in the attic while your fam tries to act civil. goodbye friends, I'll see you when I'm in debt. www.vidtheque.com
Monday, November 15, 2004
It is Monday eve and ready to roar. My head's a little shaky these days, I feel more and more like Hemmingway. As I hope you are recovering well, I press on foward with our collective silliness and reparte. So as you are keeping one eye to the monitor and the other to the Rebel Billionare, I have some interesting items for you. Please pay attention, I'm only going to say this once.
and, off, we....go!
The Chronicles of Riddick: At first glance I swear it was another dirty movie. Vin Diesel's (actually I think his real name is something like Mark Vincent, ha!) voice gets even lower, if you can believe it, in this follow up to 2000's Pitch Black. He is a blind man who conquers adversity and learns to fuse Gospel and Soul together. He brought us such hits as "Georgia on my Mind" and....err, nevermind. I hear he fights some aliens and Dame Judy Dench's hair. Let me know.
Elf: I can't say I've seen this, but looking at Will Ferrell's track record, it's bound to include a gratuitous butt shot. Oh yeah, and be a bit funny too. He plays a non-real elf looking for his real dad. My best guess would be to track down Wilt Chamberlain or Kobe. Just a thought.
I'll Sleep When I'm Dead: Well duh. The latest in almost-cleverly titled films, comes to us from Mike Hodges. If his name rings a bell, it's because he did the little-seen Croupier and the o.g. Get Carter. And you don't want to get to know him. If his films say anything about the man, he'll kick you in the shin and laugh at you. So I say run or get back at him by coming up with a better title like "My Cheese Don't Rot" or "Don't Pee on my Leg and Tell Me It's Raining." I think that last one's taken though.
The Office Special: The special what? Tenth episode anniversary? What is it that's so special? Damn Brits trying to always be so clever, did you not read above? Anyways, people can't stop loving this show. It's a "where are they now" episode over at Wernham Hogg. See 90 minutes of office humor and lunacy. I wish I could watch it, but I don't speak British.
The Saddest Music in the World: Have you heard that song by The Cure? It'd make a good candidate I'm sure. Or maybe that's for the sulkiest music in the world? Whatever. Cult/Indie fave Guy Maddin's latest shot on grainy B&W and some woman with beer legs. It will remind you of David Lynch and Fargo fo sho'. Watch it and you look at Joel Peter Witkin photographs in a whole new way.
Smithereens: Susan Seidelman (Desperately Seeking Susan) brings you this flashback set in the 80's East Village. Set to music by The Feelies and featuring Richard Hell, the story follows a Jersey girl wanting to break into the NYC music scene. For fans of Downtown 81.
PeeWee's Playhouse V1&2: These massive sets include up to 5 seasons of this insanely bizarre show. Featuring Paul Rubens at the height of his fame, watch him act creepy and scare your children. In hindisight, it becomes so clear doesn't it?
Come check out our staff picks. They kick ass. Do it because we deserve it. 4 funny categories! C'mon! Also, don't forget the holidays are coming. We are heavily stocking our DVD racks with the craziest shit you've ever seen. Priced at the best we can do, where else can you get David Lynch's Eraserhead, the Tinto Brass Collection, or Warhol's rare Chelsea Girls? We also have very pretty gift certs, rental passes and sweet sweet candy! Remember you can't spell "have a quasi-merry christmas, ok dude" without Videotheque!
goodbye, we love you. http://www.vidtheque.com
Monday, November 8, 2004
Before Sunset: Once, regarding music, a friend and I were disucssing the aesthetics of a certain group. He told me, "your music has too many words." And so I agreed. I suppose the same can be said for Mr. Linklater's Before Sunset, but removing the dialogue wouldn't make much sense either. Plus, you can always just push mute. Regardless of your take on international banter, Before Sunset carried a big punch amongst filmgoers everywhere. And looking at Linklater's track record, you can understand why. I'd recommend watching Before Sunrise, then Sunset, but only if you can handle the plethora of dialogue and your ears being used to death. It's good for you though.
The Clearing: With our current political climate, I feel how Robert Redford looks. A small film by theater standards, featuring an impressive cast, Mr. Redford and Helen Mirren, but I just can't stand to see the lame-ass cover art. The poster was so much more engaging. In any case, an executive gets kidnapped and then yells "get off my plane!" to Gary Oldman.
Day Without a Mexican: My Mexican mother saw this and said it was cute. I wasn't quite sure how to interpret that, but I assume it must be good. I told my coworkers though, that her opinion may not be so vaild, seeing that she thinks it's her racial and national duty to see every Mexican film--and like it. Hell, she went as far as to give birth to me on the exact day of Mexican Independence day. Aside from reelecting inferiors, see how far nationalistic pride can get you?
Parting Shots: Featuring the who's who of Britain's yesteryear's actors--Bob Hoskins, John Cleese, Chris Rea and Ghandi alike. A man is misdiagnosed with cancer and therefore decides to kill everyone who's everyone who's ever crossed him. Sounds like a plan! But remember I said, MISdiagnosed, whoops!
Stepford Wives: The dude who did Yoda's voice directed this film, featuring the perfect wives of stepford. I told my spouse, why can't you be more stepford! and to my surprise, she agreed. She left the house spotless before she left and had great sex with the neighbors. Sigh.
lastly, Our Personal, Staff RECs are back! Here's a run down:
Mark: The Great Dictator: No, not a metaphor as to how he runs this place (yet I'm sure some will disagree--great, now I'm fired), but a striking similarity to those running our current lives.. See if you can guess who. Featuring Ivan the Terrible, Fidel and Journeys with George.. Hmm
Rick: RIOT: Like Sly said, "There's gonna be a riot!" and yes those were our immediate reactions to last Tuesday, and still to this day. Let your anger ride with films like Gangs of New York, Day of the Locust and even oh-so cute Fritz the Cat.
Andy: Ray-Ban: I guess he missed the bus on this one, Andy's picks have nothing to do with Super Tuesday. Featuring scores of character's rockin' the Ray-Bans. Don't let the sun get in your eyes without these. A sprinkle of Rush, Risky Business and Terminator.
Elise: Dancing Thereapy in These Times of Woe: Yay! The newbie's first! Still feeling bummed? How 'bout serving it to W, after you learn the wicked moves from Outkast, Saturday Night Fever and even Dirty Dancing. And don't worry, nobody's watching.
That's it for us, please cheer up and try not to do it again. www.vidtheque.com
Tuesday, November 2, 2004
Around the World in 80 Days: Republican Guv'ner Ahnold makes a guest cameo in this Disney remake. Allegedly before all that election, mmm boobies stuff. Whatever dude. If you watch his performance, it's a great indicator of what was to come. Hindsight really is 20/20. Jackie Chan stars as Bustamante Cruz fighting Arnie to the death. Steve Coogan is his Ragin Cajun. They debately battle over native american casinos. In which Chan is racing across the world to visit everyone. Whew! Forget it, I'm winded already.
Facing Windows: Welps, since our copies haven't arrive yet, I can't tell you what it's about. But I promise we'll have some soon. In an effort to not waste space, what I can tell you about it prop 72. Health Care Coverage: A yes means: It requires large and mid-sized companies to pay for private coverage, caps employee share of premiums, and sets coverage standards. A no means: Proposition 72 creates a government-run healthcare scheme funded by an estimated $7 billion in new taxes on employers and workers by 2007. I have no health insurance. :(
Festival Express: All you hippies out here will wet your already-stained pants. eww. This live doc features the wild Janis, and the hairy Dead. Ironically amidst all the musical commotion and live acts, hippies are dancing and there is a immenent lack of soap.
Home at the End of the World: Don't blush when you see it. You know what I'm talking about. Colin Farrell. Yeah, Colin and his bad haircut. Don't laugh either. What the hell is this movie about? I know that's my job, but everyone keeps yapping about his Johnson. Can't we not stop thinking about sex, and move onto something more productive like voting. (see?)
Proof: An Aussie from way back when hits the plastic. Features a very young Russ Crowe and before he was an agent or drag queen, Hugo Weaving. There's pictures and stuff.
Speedo: This movie also is about Colin Farrell's penis. No I'm kidding. It's about some guy who drives fast. Hence the clever title. He also drives and destroys cars in demolition derbies. No, it isn't anything like Demolition Man, but damn near close. You know, in Demo Man they have sex by not touching! It's pretty cool. For fans of biker movies, that show on TLC, and voting.
Ok kids, go out and make a difference. Don't be lame or we'll never talk again. And don't forget, free underwear!