Tuesday, August 25, 2009

New Releases for August 25th or Let's Get It Over With!

I'm not going to do an intro this week. Let's just get to the nitty-gritty.

NEW RELEASES

Adventureland:
Remember Lou Reed, jeans, and carnivals? I sure do! And this film does too! Relive those awkward pre-adulthood nights where you can't finish a sentence with a single breath and where each person you know is an outcast (then again, if everyone is an outcast, can they truly be considered outcasts?). Also, this film keeps pounding into your head reminding you that it takes place in the eighties! Gee golly whiz!

Fighting: The title pretty much describes this film. I don't condone fighting. I'm a pacifist. But I condone this film because it has Luiz Guzman. Remember when he blows up in Traffic? Those were good times, huh?

Rudo y Cursi: Like quirky indie comedies but get tired of hearing them in English? Well, now our neighbors down in ol' Mexico have caught the quirky bug. Alfonso Cuaron's baby brother makes this quirky comedy about two bothers and their quirks while they try to become big time quirky soccer players. This movie is quirky and quirky quirky quirky with a great quirk. You quirk what I mean?

Sunshine Cleaning: Thought I was done saying quirky and starting my descriptions with questions, didn't ya? Huh!? Well, guess what? Leah Rozen of People® magazine describes this film as "colorful refreshingly quirky comic drama". Quirky. QUIRKY! Bleech! Anyways, the cover made me think this movie is about furniture moves, but it's in fact about two women who clean up crime scenes. If you like blood, blond women, and quirkyness, this film is for you! Interesting fact I learned about recently though: Alan Arkin (who's a supporting actor in this) graduated from my old high school. Cool stuff!

Thirtysomething S.1: I want to say I remember this show, but all I remember is when I was a kid, I'd get upset when they would have reruns of this instead of reruns of The Wonder Years. Man, now The Wonder Years! That was a great show! How many guys here had a crush on Winnie Cooper. Come on. We know we all did. That needs to be on DVD instead.

OTHER NEW RELEASES AND NEW INVENTORY:

Adventureland (Blu)
American Son
A Bitter Sweet Life
Bocelli/Under the Desert Sky
Californication S2
The Chaser
Death Note/Change the World
Duplicity (Blu)
The Fish Fall in Love
Goodbye Solo
House MD S5
Invisible Girlfriend
The Informers
The Ipcress File (Blu)
Jeanne Dielman, 21 quai du Commerce 1080 Bruxelles (Criterion)
Jonas Mekas Walden Collection
Just for Laughs/Over the Edge (Lewis Black, Jim Gaffigan and more)
The Last Days of Disco (Criterion)
New Trick S1
Patton Oswalt/My Weakness is Strong
Rudo y Cursi (Blu)
Screwballs
Shibuya Angel
Sunshine Cleaning (Blu)
Trouble the Water
We're Going to Eat You

BLOG PICK O' THE WEEK:

Husbands:
I actually forgot to include this in last weeks blog as it came out last week! Well, Cassavetes' finest film is finally out on DVD in the original cut feature all the Peter Falk throwing-up and farting you can handle! I've seen a lot of films about male bonding (in a strickly platonic sense of course) and despite the fact the characters are twice my age, it's the most realistic vision I've seen of this. To top it off, this movie has a perfect ending where life and duties are reaffirmed as the friends return from their break from adulthood. Excellent performances all around from Ben Gazzara, Peter Falk and the director himself.

NEW EMPLOYEE PICKS AND RECOMMENDED:

So the last few weeks, I've forgotten to do this. I'll do it for now. Let's see what we have up

R.I.P. John Hughes: The creator of so many great memories and times may have passed on, but his spirit will always live in the enclosed space of these Digital Versatile Discs. Remember the enjoyment he brought you with teen classics like The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Some Kind of Wonderful.

Inglorious Basterds: Tarantino stuffs his movies with references to cinema past. His newest film has a heap of Leone with a spoonful of Don Siegel spiced with Truffaut's The Last Metro and Fassbinder's BRD trilogy. Rent some of these films and see where Tarantino got the inspiration to make his newest action picture. Right next to these, we're keeping a small section dedicated to the films Tarantino. Now it's the best time to reunite with Mr. Pink, The Wolf, Stuntman Mike, Ordell and Beatrix Kiddo.

Mario Z's Here's to Your Health: Mr. Mario may be working here less and less due to his non stop learning of the medical field, but his section keeps his spirit alive. To make you feel more comfortable next time he gives you a shot or assist you during your next surgery, he put out some films that'll fix your irregularly beating heart like The Hospital, M*A*S*H, and Critical Care.

Gracie G's Face: I don't mean her actual face. I mean her section is titled "Face". Here you're bound to find tons of movies with the ancient art of face replacement surgery or people without a face. Some face-less wonders here include Seconds, The Face of an Other and Eyes Without a Face.

Mark A's Daja Vu DVD (Same Cover, Different Movie): Working here for a while now, Mark has been noticing a trend of laziness when it comes to designing DVD covers. In fact, he grabbed all the ones that looked too similar and put them in one section. See how Problem Child and Parenthood have almost identical covers and how crouch-shots are now over used as a DVD cover.

Ronny D is working on a section. I'll report on it when it's up.

NADA MAS!:
Thank you again for reading this.

www.vidtheque.com
vidtheque.blogspot.com

I took this photo back in April, but I thought now it's the best time to share it. By the way, that isn't rain. It's hail.

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Don't drink orange juice after milk. It turns the inside of your stomach into a an atomic test site.

Monday, August 17, 2009

New Releases for August 18th, or the good ship Vidéothèque sails to bluer waters!

click on this flyer for larger view!







NEW RELEASES:

Gomorrah: I like the mob. I was actually involved in the mob until they cut off my thumbs. Now it's a bit more difficult for me to type because I can no longer hit the space bar with my thumb. Well, anywhoooo, if you're tired of goofy mafia movies like The Departed, here's the real deal! Guns, women, drugs, prostitution, corrupted officials, you name it. I'm going to assume that all these things are in the movie based on the cover alone! Jeez, I want to see this! You should come and rent it and invite me over to your place. I'd love to see it!

The Garden: We all should know that L.A. county government is pretty corrupt, but for those who hate picking up newspapers, we just got this documentary about the destruction of the South Central Garden. Watch how most people didn't care about the garden until they were going to tear it down and about how contractors squander millions of dollars. Also, it has my hero Zach De La Rocha rap about things I don't understand. So I don't know much about him, but I know that he really, REALLY likes Glengarry Glenross so much in fact that he owns his own copy. He's a pretty cool dude.

Surveillance: See the baby from Eraserhead direct her second film. I don't know much about this, but maaaaan has Bill Pullman aged! Makes me feel all depressed like inside.

Tyson: I thought this was going to be a delicious documentary on Tyson® brand chicken nuggets, but it turned out to be about Mike Tyson. What a shame. You can't eat Mike Tyson! And c'mon, Mike Tyson is nowhere near as controversial as Tyson®. Just compare their respective Wikipedia articles! C'mon James Toback! Stay with the times! Mike Tyson is sooooo 1998...

OTHER NEW RELEASES AND NEW INVENTORY:

Apres Lui (France, w/C. Deneuve)
Arizona Colt Returns
Che Part.2
Cloud 9 (Germany)
Dexter S.3
Eagles Over London
Fear[s] of the Dark (animation)
Full Grown Man (American Indie)
Gandhi (Blu-Ray)
Gossip Girl S.2
Hansel & Gretel (Korea)
Harvard Beats Yale 29-29
Hazard
Hello Goodbye (France, w/F. Ardant, G. Depardieu)
Inventing Cuisine series
Island of the Fishman
Kagemusha (Blu-Ray)
Moscow Belgium (Belgium)
Parlez-Moi de la Pluie (Let it Rain) (France, dir. Agnès Jaoui)
Partners in Crime (France, w/André Dusollier)
Playtime (Blu-Ray) (!)
Somers Town (UK, dir. Shane Meadows "This is England")

BLOG PICK OF THE WEEK:

So I decided to try out this new thing on the blog. I'm going to pick one movie I saw during the week and talk about why you should see it. Why? Because I love you and want you to see it.

The 36th Chamber of Shaolin: I'm not sure how many Los Angeles natives read this blog, but when I was a kid, KTLA use to play either classic kung-fu movies or Three Stooges shorts all night. I'd get a bowl of late night Froot-Loops, sit in front of the TV with my jammies and watch these all night with my pop. Recently, I saw "Shaolin Soccer" and thought it was a blast. The film influenced me to get in touch with my kung-fu loving roots and decided to start with this Shaw Brothers classic. Everything from the soundtrack, acting, sound effects, and cinematography sold me on this film. Gordon Liu (now famous for his double roles in Kill Bill) plays a student who has everyone that he loves slaughtered cruelly by corrupt government officials (Is this a bit of anti-cultural revolution commentary?). He decides that brains aren't enough and wants to learn the ways of kung-fu to smite his foes. Special features are pretty nice with a commentary by Wu-Tang Clansmen, the RZA. Yes, it's not high art and doesn't question our mortality like Bergman or criticize contemporary society like Fellini, but if you like ol' fashioned choreographed fighting and awesome stunts, then this one hits the spot!


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blogspot.vidtheque.com



MORAL OF THE WEEK:
If you're a carnivore (such as myself), don't buy Tyson® brand products. Not only do they taste bad, but it hurts the farming industry and is sending us back to the days of The Jungle! You want that!? Huh!? I didn't think so, pal!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

New Releases for August 11th, or C'mmon Baby!

So my ex has put a restraining order on me. Apparently she thinks I was stalking her! Can't it just be a coincidence that we both shop at the same market at the same time, get our prescriptions at the same pharmacy every Tuesday between 8:05-8:17 and get our nails done at the same place.

The nerve of some people! She didn't appreciate my gifts! I sent her dead skin flakes, hair I shaved off my face and my toe nail clippings. I mean seriously, what does she want!? I've always been told the best gifts are the ones you make yourself. My body made these to send to her!

In my last letter I sent her, I told her that she needs to lighten up. It's the 21st century. Her prude, crude mood doesn't fly now. Maybe if I didn't love her so much and maybe she didn't dump me for a guy with a better car I would leave her alone.

So, Marilyn, if you're reading this I want you to know that you're a horrible person and you're going to suffer courtesy of my good friend karma! Just because I can't afford a Prius doesn't mean you should've left me! We even talked about maybe getting married and starting a family, but no. NO! You do this to me. Look what you've done to me. I haven't left my apartment in a week. I'm too lazy sometimes to even use the restroom and my hair is full of grease. So please, Marilyn, baby, know that I love you and that we can start again! PLEASE!

Now let's move on to me criticizing movies I haven't seen.

NEW RELEASES:

17 Again: Wait, this has Zac Effron and Matthew Perry? I think I'll pass on this.

The Class: Someone told me that this is NOT a French version of Stand & Deliver. That's a shame because I really love Stand & Deliver. Edward James Olmos is my main man. Oh, and to you fancy types this film won the Palme D'or at Canned (I don't know what that means though. I failed French 1 three times).

Gigantic: Everyone described this movie as being quirky. I refuse to see anything that has to use the word quirky over and over again. Mark Mothersbaugh of Devo run his own recording studio and apparently anyone who use the word quirky to describe something, they have to put a dollar in a jar that later goes to buying pizza.

I Love You, Man: Judd Apatow's latest man-child comedy comes to us with my friend's seal of approval. If it's good enough for him, it must be good for all of us, right?

MORE NEW RELEASES PLUS NEW INVENTORY:

Anita O' Day: Life of Jazz Singer
Arizona Colt Returns
Blue Steel
Bukowski: The Last Straw
The Class (Blu)
Do the Right Thing (Blu)
Eagles Over London
Final Countdown
Full Grown Men
Invitation
Island of the Fishmen
Paris 36
Payment on Demand (Bette Davis, from Warner Archive)
Roselyne and the Lions (Dir: JJ Beineix)
The Valachi Papers

JEEZ!:

Right now, our roof is leaking as a result of negligence from one of the tenants who lives upstairs. If you come in and you see a giant blue tarp cover up part of France and Australia, you'll know why.

I wonder what's the big news? Oh well! Guess you're just going to have to come here and show up.

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
If you have tenants living below you, please don't ignore the fact that your toilet has been flooding. You're neighbors downstairs will hate you and want to see your head placed on a pike.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

New Releases for August 4th, or HERE COMES THE BIG NEWS!

Here's the big news I wanted to share: I'M PREGNANT!

Ever since I was a little boy, there was nothing more I wanted than to become a mother, and today it was confirmed.

Dr. Jamal told me that the baby is about at the 3 month point and that it's a little girl. Recently, I went to Bellini and bought tons of beautiful equipment for my baby. I thought it could really use some beautiful and luxurious baby items from Italy to make him feel like an authentic Italian baby!

Six months from now, I'll tell you if the baby hype was worth it. Hopefully it is because this little sucker inside of me wants to break free and start livin'.

NOTICE: This isn't really the big news I want to share. Scroll down for more details.

NEW RELEASES:

Flight of the Conchords S.2: Everyone tells me to watch this and just to prove a point, I'm never going to watch this! That's how I roll.

Harvard Beats Yale 29-29: This should make a documentary about a real incident: THE HEIDI GAME!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heidi_Game

Five bucks sez it'll be awesomer than this one. You'll get to hear a bunch of drunken Raiders fans talking about how pissed they were instead of hearing the ivy league Yalie talk about how his monocle popped out in disgust of the game's score.

The Mysteries of Pittsburgh: Since yesterday, I've noticed that our new release board in the store has the name Pittsburgh with only one "t". Not only that, but our entry of this film in our database is missing an "h" at the end of Pittsburgh. I'm going to see how long it takes for someone to notice! *snicker snicker*

Obsessed: Whoever photoshopped this cover is obsessed with the female posterior as he makes a point to have it stick out more than naturally. I like the cover artist's style!

Race to Witch Mountain: Growing up, I never liked the live action Disney films. I thought they were always too cheesy and too wholesome. It never felt right. Now Disney has the right idea by putting my hero The Rock up against aliens! HECK YEAH!

The Soloist: I'm not going to try talking about this film. Just from the cover I know it's going to be an unending suckfest. Not even Robert Downey Jr. can save this baby stuck in a burning building. Oh! With this one, I've come to the realization that I never watch the new releases but pass judgment on them anyways. For shame on me!

OTHER NEW RELEASES PLUS NEW INVENTORY:

All About Anna
The Astonishing Work of Tezuka Osamu (The creator of Astro Boy)
Big Trouble in Little China (Blu)
Eyes on the Prize (Hard to find PBS documentary series on the history of Blacks in America)
Icons of Screwball Comedies
Jim Brewer/Let's Clear The Air
Lookin' to Get Out!
Micheal Jackson/Live in Japan (He may be dead, but we'll always have the memories on this plastic disc)
Neil Hamburger/Western Music & Variety
Mutant Chronicles
Project Runway S.5
Riff-Raff (Region 2)
A River of Waste (One of the dozen yearly documentaries on the food industry)
Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! S.3
Ulysses (54)
Up the Junction (Region 2)

STILL CAN'T GIVE THE NEWS I PROMISED TWO WEEKS AGO:

It's killing me! I want to share it with the world, but the powers that be still won't let me. Trust me though! You guys will be the first to find out. Chances are the BIG MAN himself (a.k.a. My boss) will put up the news himself on this here blog. Why? Because he's just that damn excited about it!

I'M KAPUT!:

Bye-bye.

www.vidtheque.com
vidtheque.blogspot.com

We don't believe in fancy schmancy stuff like security systems. Instead we have our clerks trained by Mossad in order to kill intruders with our bare hands. Here's RV demonstrating his power.

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Throughly wash your hands after handling money. Money is pretty filthy, but oh how I love it!