vidéothèque blog

January New Releases!

2012-01-21T16:19:00.000-08:00

2012 is off to a great start at Videotheque! Come by and pick up the newest additions to our vast film library. Last week's new releases included the extremely popular "Boardwalk Empire: Season 1" on both DVD and Blu-Ray, the re-release of the cult-favorite insect documentary "The Hellstrom Chronicle", "The Killer Elite" with Robert DeNiro and Jason Statham, Bela Tarr's remarkable "Man From London", Brad Pitt in "Moneyball", and the hilarious "An Idiot Abroad" with Ricky Gervais!

This week we welcomed the Criterion release of "Belle De Jour", the Ryan Gosling and George Clooney political thriller "Ides of March", Isabelle Huppert in "Special Treatment", season 1 of the strangely funny Adult Swim series "Delocated", Audrey Tautou in "Beautiful Lies", the South African road-trip comedy "White Wedding", and the amazing chimpanzee documentary "Project Nim" (see attached photo)!

Next week (1/24) we will be getting two Criterion re-releases "Godzilla" and "The Moment of Truth", two engaging documentaries "The Last Lions" and "Shut Up Little Man!", the newest installment of the horror phenomenon "Paranormal Activity 3", Lawrence Fishburne in HBO's "Thurgood", "No Reservations: Collection 6", the robot boxing movie "Real Steel", AND (inspiring us all to shave our heads) Seth Rogan and Joseph Gordan-Levitt in "50/50"!

See you soon... KEEP WATCHING

New Releases and Holiday Gems

2011-12-17T21:04:00.000-08:00

This week we've got some new titles that are already flying off our shelves! From Criterion we have two re-released classics by renowned director Seijun Suzuki "Branded to Kill" and "Tokyo Drifter". Also, if you are into animal rights, come rent "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" starring James Franco and, of course, "Kung Fu Panda 2" with Jack Black. We also have the indie sensation "Daddy Longlegs" and the remake of the 1980s classic "Fright Night". And, if you are in the mood for some brain food you should take home Werner Herzog's "Cave of Forgotten Dreams", the highly anticipated "Black Power Mixtape (1967-1975)" and "These Amazing Shadows: The Movies that make America".
Coming out this Tuesday (Dec. 20) is a new one from director John Landis and starring Simon Pegg "Burke & Hare", the remake of the Sam Peckinpaw masterpiece "Straw Dogs", "The Tempest" starring Helen Mirren, "Midnight in Paris" by Woody Allen, and from the Netherlands, just in time for the holiday, "Saint Nick" (he's coming after you whether you are naughty OR nice).
And... Don't forget we have all your holiday favorites from "A Charlie Brown Christmas" to "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" (see the attached image)!
See you soon!

Late November NEW RELEASES

2011-11-30T17:33:00.000-08:00

We have many thanks to give for our late November new releases just waiting for you to take home!

Come by and pick up "Rare Exports", a soon-to-be cult classic about the real Santa Claus, from Finland, which came in just in time for the holiday (see the attached image)! Also, brand new to the store we have "The Future" by Miranda July, "Beginners" by Mike Mills, the indy sensation "Bellflower", "Conan the Barbarian" starring Ron Perlman, something surprisingly different from Kevin Smith called "Red State", "Friends With Benefits" starring Mila Kunis and "JT", and, last but not least, "The Smurfs" with the always charming Jonathan Winters voicing Papa Smurf.
Our featured, must-see, Criterion re-release this week is the Sabu box set featuring such classics as "Jungle Book" (1942), "The Drum", and "Elephant Boy"!
Several documentaries have also come in that are causing quite a stir...
We have the long awaited "Cave of Forgotten Dreams" by Werner Herzog (on DVD, Blu-Ray AND 3D Blu-Ray), the fans speak up in "The People vs. George Lucas", also, new from Patricia Guzman "Nostalgia for the Light"!

If that's not enough to keep you entertained through December, you should also stop by our recommended "Seasons Screenings" section to stock up on your holiday rentals! See you soon...

November New Releases

2011-11-08T17:30:00.000-08:00

Last week (11/1/11) we had some great new films come in! "Winnie the Pooh" a throwback to the golden age of Disney, as well as the film version of the novel that took the world by storm "Water for Elephants", "Crazy Stupid Love" with Steve Carell and Julianne Moore, "The Trip" with Steve Coogan, "Mr. Nice" starring the charismatic Crispin Glover and David Thewlis, "The Princess of Montpensier", "Tabloid" by the amazing Errol Morris, "The Shock Doctrine" by Michael Winterbottom, and, last but not least, "Page One: Inside the N.Y. Times"!

This week we have "The Change Up" with Jason Bateman, "Hot Coffee" an arresting documentary on the trial between a woman and McDonald's over spilled coffee, "Ex Drummer", the fascinating "Topp Twins: Untouchable Girls", the beautiful "Sleeping Beauty" by Catherine Breillat (see the attached picture), and "Dr. Who, Season 6, Part 2".

ALSO, don;t forget, this FRIDAY we will have "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2"!!!

October New Releases

2011-10-19T16:53:00.000-07:00

Fall is upon us, so settle in and get cozy with one of our new releases! Just in, Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz wield the jolly roger in "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides", get into the Halloween spirit with "Scream 4", laugh it up with Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz in "Bad Teacher", AND indulge the instant cult classic from Alex De La Iglesia "The Last Circus" (see the attached picture)!

ALSO, be ahead of the game and stop in for these exclusive gems (they won't be available on Netflix for a month)! "Fast Five" with Vin Diesel, Jennifer Aniston and Colin Ferrel in "Horrible Bosses", the highly anticipated "Tree of Life" by legendary filmmaker Terrence Malick, "Terri" with John C. Reilly, and "Monte Carlo" starring Selena Gomez.

Exclusive new arrivals and more!

2011-09-17T16:15:00.000-07:00

We have some new films for you to "ooh and ah" over, some of which can be found exclusively (for the moment) at Videotheque! Three of these new arrivals are documentaries. Take home the highly anticipated "YSL: Yves Saint Laurent L'Amour Fou", as well as the fascinating "Bobby Fischer Against The World", and "Certifiably Jonathan" a hilarious mockumentary about Jonathan Winters losing his sense of humor. In our international new release section we've added advance copies of "Ne Chance Rien" by Pedro Costa, "Certified Copy" starring Juliette Binoche, and "Essential Killing" starring Vincent Gallo. Also newly added to our collection is the action packed martial arts spectacle "True Legend", Chris Marker's "One Day In The Life Of Andrei Arsenevich", Agnes Varda's "Daguerreotypes", and the mysterious "Le Quattro Volte". PLUS new to DVD is Orson Welles' "The Magnificent Ambersons", on BLU-RAY we have "Citizen Kane" as well as the entire Star Wars saga! See you soon...

2011-09-04T16:56:00.000-07:00

It's remake fever at Videotheque! Hollywood's in heavy recycling mode as well, come by and check out the original versions of these upcoming & recent 2011 reboots: "Straw Dogs", "Conan The Barbarian", "Don't be Afraid of the Dark", "Footloose", "Planet of the Apes", and "The Thing". Also, we've got a cache of New Releases here waiting just for you: "Win Win" (Paul Giamatti tries to keep up his struggling law practice while coaching high school wrestling), "Skateland" (early 80's small-town Texas roller-skating rink slice of Americana), the unique drama "The Beaver" (with Mel Gibson & Jodie Foster), and the highly anticipated "Troll Hunter" (from Norway). A few t.v. shows have finally arrived, such as "Sons of Anarchy: Season 3", Dexter Season 5", "Entourage: Season 7" and "House: Season 7".
In addition we have two films here that are currently unavailable anywhere except through Videotheque: Jean-Luc Godard's "Film Socialisme" and the controversial "A Serbian Film"!

Merry Christmas plus some New Releases for December 22nd, 2010

2010-12-22T15:30:00.000-08:00

Our good Yeti friend visited Videotheque and plastered his image all over our windows (courtesy of our bearded companion, RV Parks). The majestic Yeti uses the cold weather as an excuse to lay around in his bathrobe watching 'Alone in the Wilderness' (everyone at work recommends it, an amazing documentary about a man who builds a log cabin entirely on his own. Find it on the New Release Documentary wall!).

Now the Yeti is gone. His tempera-painted glory annihilated by the hard rain slashing against the bay windows. When the rain moves on & the Southern California sunshine & unhealthy air kick back in, give our friend RV Parks a call at (626)497-2777. He will put a Yeti or a Yak or a anything for you on your window (if you pay a modest sum, that is).

NEW RELEASES:

Despicable Me: We should all listen to others' mothers. They are wise, well-worn women who expel nothing but good advice. My mother loved this film a lot and talked to me for a while about how cute it was. I would trust her too. She is always right about everything so you should rent this as it has Steve Carell as a mad genius trying to reform and hanging around a lot of little girls. Cute! <3

Exit Through the Gift Shop: I don't care for graffiti art at all. If you ask curmudgeonly me, Banksy is just as bad as Shepard Fairey. This one lends itself a half-arsed political ethos & lacks much creativity or understanding of the basic tenets of art, while drenching in sick amounts of irony. But whatever, I'm no art critic and everybody smarter than me seems to love the guy. If you are smart and love irony (the title pretty much expresses how much you'll be getting) or dislike the art world and appreciate people like Banksy sticking it to 'em, this documentary is worth a look.

Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work: I don't know much about Joan Rivers except that she used to host The Tonight Show in the Carson days and that she's the robot in Spaceballs. I'm told she's very Jewish, a gay icon and that she's had lots of surgery too. I think I should watch this doc and study up on my Joan Rivers.

The Other Guys: Really upset about what Bernie Madoff has done to your country? Think capitalism is running amok? Hate Reagan free-market? This film rages for you all in the guise of a pretty good comedy with Marky Mark and Will Ferrel as two bumbling cops (I know it's a cliche) arresting white collar crooks. Some pretty fantastic moments with Will Ferrel as an angry pimp named Gator.

Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps: So two films come out about the post-2008 stock crash.

BYE BYE!:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!: Although we are a non-denominational business, we also love all you folk who celebrate those other equally stressful holidays like Kwanzaa and Hannukah! Take care for the holidays and make sure you don't drink and drive. And if you don't heed my advice, at least do your best to avoid police checkpoints!

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New Releases for December 1st, or Blogging in the 21st Century

2010-12-02T17:36:00.000-08:00

NEW RELEASES:

Going the Distance: I've known people who have had long-distance relationships and abstinence, loneliness and long-telephone conversations don't sound like the material for a romantic comedy. This film does it though. Laugh at the romantic fumblings of Drew Barrymore and heartthrob Justin Long through their difficult journey.

Knight and Day: Don't let this box office failure scare you aware! This film is going to be great: the back cover has Tom Cruise shirtless. *swoon* Cameron Diaz is in there somewhere too as a spy or something, but who needs her, right?

Valhalla Rising: My Nordic blood boils with excitement over the prospect of viking movies. If you like shirtless, tattooed, sweaty men gutting shirtless, tattooed, sweaty men, then you will love this!

RECOMMENDED SECTIONS:

Listen, I'll go into detail about our X-Mas sections next week (I personally don't want to as I'm an offended Atheist), but let me discuss my heartbreak of the week:

Leslie Nielsen: I thought it would never happen, but it happened. America's grandpa has died due to complications from pneumonia. In honor and memory, we've bundled up his extensive catalog of early career oddities and Zucker Bros. collaborations. Remember this great American with some of his great moments.

BLOG:

You all know I love blogging! I can't stop myself sometimes! I'm narcissistic, so I love writing about my life while getting paid.

But tonight my dear readers brings me out for a different reason. I might love a comfortable pair of shoes, spicy Mexican food and cute girls in glasses, but there is one thing I love more than all of those: nice fixtures and furniture. I blog here to share with you are nice new cases. Let's take a look.

What a nice case! Clear 'n clean glass with a nice lock to stop you shoplifters!

Nice new slick black cases with CD's and music DVD's. Nothing tells someone you love them and appreciate them as a human being more than by getting them remastered Buzzcocks albums and a Bauhaus DVD.

This is my The Third Man influenced shot of the case. Notice the dutch angle.

THIS IS THE END:

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 The end of the blog. I promise to write again. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

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BIGFOOT SIGHTING!

Love letters straight from my heart

2010-06-09T01:01:00.000-07:00

Drop in for new goodies!
Import dvds by Maurice Pialat (his entire filmography bar 1), Jacques Rivette's 'Céline & Julie Go Boating', Hirokazu Kore-Eda's two most recent films- 'Still Walking' & 'Air Doll', Van Williams/Bruce Lee's late 60s series (& 70s films), 'Green Hornet' (see the original before next year's Michel Gondry/Seth Rogan Hollywood revision), Dozens of new Warner Archive & MGM Vault titles (e.g. Truffaut's 'The Green Room', Hal Ashby's 'The Landlord'), plus new Japanese Chirashi posters-- (Vincent Gallo, Cassavetes, Truffaut, Godard up the yin yang), plus much much more!

New & Recent..

Shutter Island (Scorsese/Dicaprio/Neeson/Ruffalo)
Alice in Wonderland (Burton)
Wolfman (Del Toro/Hopkins/E. Blunt)
The Road (Mortensen)
The Messenger (Harrelson/S. Morton)
Curb Your Enthusiasm/Season 7
Foyle's War/Season 6
Daria/Complete Series

International..

The Girl on the Train (France, A. Techine)
The Italian Straw Hat (France, R. Clair)
North Face (Germany)
The Owl & the Sparrow (Vietnam)
Tony Manero (Chile)
Nagisa Oshima Outlaw Sixties Collection
Walkabout (N. Roeg, Criterion re-issue)
Yugoslavian 'Black Wave' 60's/70's Short Films

Documentary..

Art & Copy
Boogie Man/The Lee Atwater Story
Dirt! The Movie
The Indomitable Teddy Roosevelt
Life (makers of Planet Earth)
William Kunstler/Disturbing the Universe
Meredith Monk/Inner Voice
Milton Glaser/To Inform & Delight
Raymundo/The Revolutionary Filmmaker's Struggle (Argentina)
Jack Smith and the Destruction of Atlantis
Waiting for Armageddon
Orson Welles/The Paris Interview
Who Killed Pixote?

*We've also highlighted the 50 Best Films of the Decade (2000-2009), according to critics, filmmakers, programmers, et al. as polled by Film Comment last fall. Does 'Mulholland Drive' deserve the #1 spot, or perhaps 'In the Mood for Love'? How do the brothers Coen match up against les freres Dardennes? Debate your friends & neighbors!

RIP Dennis Hopper :( We've collected his films atop our recommended wall. I suggest 1962's noiry mermaid rendez-vous at Santa Monica pier, 'Night Tide' (with a nice commentary from Dennis, too). Whatever you do, keep him fondly in your thoughts with a Pabst Blue Ribbon & not a Heineken, eh?

In Dreams,

your intrepid Pierrot

New Releases for April 6rd, or The Burden of the Outside World

2010-04-08T19:26:00.000-07:00

I like to think I don't spend all my time sitting in the basement on a chair made of discarded pizza boxes discriminating against films I haven't seen. I go out every once in a while and experience actual human contact. But the other night I was reminded of my hesitation.

My cohort & I were driving down the 110 freeway carefree and happy, when on one side rattled a tremendous tour bus on the part of the road that specifically warns against large vehicles, while on the other, a pick-up truck with ridiculously huge tires and Metallica sticker in the rear window barreled down. We had to break fast before the two cars flattened us like roadside pancakes. At that moment, my fear of the outside world took hold & I vowed to seek safety in the womb-like security of my basement. I encounter less quotidien stress here, free of the burdens of the real world, and may continue to blog the day away.

NEW RELEASES:

Bad Lieutenant: Port of New Orleans: I should start by saying I hated the original one. It had all the elements of a classic: Harvey Keitel at his prime, excessive drug use, lewd sexual acts, tons of swearing, but something about it didn't work for me. This is more my cup of tea. Not as graphic as the first one, but about a dozen times more fun. Nicholas Cage does a great job at being Klaus Kinski and everyone in the film seems to be missing a chromosome (which is a good thing). Not Herzog's best, but any Herzog is better than a couple of dozen films.

The Blind Side: This film touched me on more levels than you can imagine and I wept like a little girl at the end. If you think Sandra Bullock deserved the Oscar and you like weeping like a little girl, then this will be your bread and butter.

Fantastic Mr. Fox: Now not only can you convert your friends to the cult of Wes Anderson, you can convert your children too. Fantastic Mr. Fox is pretty much a WA film without real people: several animals are emotionally insecure, there's a Rolling Stones song somewhere and all the characters are immaculatly dressed. So basically, if you like the guy, I recommend it. If the precious, clever-cleverness of his work gets on your last nerve, then I don't.

Mad Men S.3: If you're like me, your idea of a great show involves scads of cigarettes, martinis, Barbet Schroeder and top-heavy red heads! This show has all of that, but what's keeping it from the pinnacle of perfect TV is the absence of extreme violence à la massive shoot-outs. If you're okay with that, then come for the lusty lives of cutthroat ad men & busty bombshells, and stay for the story.

Taxidermia: Not since "In the Realm of the Senses" or "The Brown Bunny" has there been an art film that gets its point across with more graphic and extreme unsimulated acts. If you love this movie, it means you're a little bit unbalanced and perverse. This means I like you and we should hang out.

OTHER NEW RELEASES:

The 36th Chamber of Shaolin (Blu-Ray) (To prepare for the doom: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvY6DU-uEiw)
The African Queen (On DVD for the first time)
Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel
Behind Convent Walls
Brothers (Dir. Jim Sheridan with Tobey MacGuire, Natalie Portman and Jake Gyllenhaal)
Days of Heaven (Blu-Ray)
An Education (DVD & Blu-Ray)
Fantastic Mr. Fox (DVD & Blu-Ray)
Foolish Wives
Girly
Krod Mandood and the Flaming Sword of Fire (Comedy Central)
The Men Who Stare at Goats (George Clooney, Jeff Bridges, Eqan McGregor, John Cusack and Goat) (DVD & Blu-Ray)
Remember the Night (Barabara Stanwyck and Fred MacMurray and written by Preston Sturges)
Sanjuro & Yojimbo (Blu-Ray)
Sherlock Holmes (DVD & Blu-Ray)
The Sister of Ursula
South Park S.13
Story of Fashion
The Twilight Saga: New Moon (DVD & Blu-Ray)
Vivienne Westwood
We Won't Grow Old Together (Dir. Maurice Pialat)

BLOG PICK OF THE WEEK:

Bigger Than Life: From the great American subversive, Nicholas Ray, comes a film that's a complete indictment of the idea of the perfect fifties life in suburbia and the mask of the family unit. A bomb when initially released, it was quickly re-evaluated as one of the greatest post-war American films by the pack of New Wavers from Cahiers du Cinema. James Mason headlines this production as a father who is taking an experimental new drug that saves his life, but when he increases his dosage, starts to make him lose touch with reality and revolt against his family and act physically and emotionally erratic. The new Criterion edition brings the film for the first time to the U.S. in both Blu-Ray and DVD editions that have very informative special features including a commentary by critic Geoff Andrew, a conversation with Susan Ray (Nicholas' widow), a seventies archival interview with Ray plus more. Essential cinema in an excellent disc! Highly recommended!

END OF BLOGGING:
For today at least
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This is our cabinet. Can you tell I'm running low on photo inspiration?

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Driving a bus perilously on the 110 is illegal and dangerous. Don't do it!

New Releases for March 16th, 2010, or Spring Time!

2010-03-17T17:22:00.000-07:00

It's almost Spring! How do I know? When I stepped outside this morning, it looked like the "Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah" scene from Song of the South. The breeze was gentle, the sun not too harsh, the birds chirping, and Uncle Remus was serenading happily down my street. Feels good. Good film renting weather. Let's see what films spring has to offer us!

NEW RELEASES:

2012: We all know the world is going to end in environmental holocaust, but who knew that dreamboat John Cusack would be the one to save the day?! I hope this apocalypse comes soon so I can finally meet him, but in the meantime I can always rent the DVD or Blu-Ray, lay quietly, and dream...

Black Dynamite: After seeing this funky masterpiece, I began practicing my Ebonics non-stop, just like every jive turkey in this film speaks it: funkified, sanctified & certified. I then proceeded to have my, um, face broken in, as they told me it was a hate crime. I didn't mean to stereotype. I did it completely out of love. I guess I need to study this fly film a bit closer so that I may strut my street lingo in a more culturally sensitive manner. Why don't we watch it together?

Broken Embraces: Almodovar is in self-reflective mood in his latest about a director of kitschy comedies who goes physically and emotionally blind after, well, I can't say, otherwise I would be ruining the intrigue. Featuring muse Penelope Cruz, looking spectacular as always. The last five minutes of the film are a hilarious doozy, don't shut it off early!

Capitalism: A Love Story: My bank foreclosed my home on me, I have four kids to support and my only source of income is via blogging. In these hectic times, I'm too stressed to read a book about how every global corporation is feeding me to the sharks. That's why I like Michael Moore. He teaches with a salve of laughter, as our capitalist society runs amok!

Coco Before Chanel: My brother's girlfriend has a cat named Coco so when I see this film, I get visions of the cat hissing at me above their refrigerator. I don't care how adorable Audrey Tautou is or how adored this Coco Chanel guy is, I refuse to watch this because I'm afraid of getting flashbacks of that cat.

Hachi: A Dog's Tale: I love Akita dogs. Look at these dogs and try to deny that they're adorable (http://www.best-dog-photos.com/images/Akita-Puppies.jpg). Based on the true story of Hachiko, the world's most faithful dog, except it's been Americanized. I would say this is the most adorable film of all time, but Richard Gere has to muck it up. I'm sure if you rent it for your family your kids won't mind, they'll just focus on the cute pooch.

The Informant!: Steven Soderbergh, cinema's great workaholic, comes with his third DVD release in the span of five months. This time he brings you a comedy about whistle-blower Mark Whitacre and how he took down "the man" for his price-fixing. Matt Damon is the star and it looks as though he's added a few pounds just to entertain us. Do him the favor by renting this film.

Law Abiding Citizen: My probation officer, Officer Krazinsky, told me to watch this film as an example of how I should act. After viewing, I was shocked. I got an awesome action thriller with people getting glocked right & left by "In Living Color" alum Jamie Foxx. What's Officer K doing to me? The budget cuts must be getting to him...

Ponyo: I've seen some pretty adorable things in my life: kittens, small turtles, Akita puppies, Audrey Tautou, Richard Gere, but Ponyo is the most adorable film I have ever seen. On top of being the most adorable film I've ever seen (Sorry, Hachi), I submit it's also catnip for kiddies. Nothing pleases nor sedates children more than Miyazaki's oeuvre. I know my kids certainly love stories about fish turning into children, I'm sure yours will too.

Where the Wild Things Are: Maybe the inner child in me has passed on due to excessive blogging, but this film wasn't what I was looking for. Granted, I never bothered reading all twelve pages of the original, but the pictures of it I've seen show the creatures and the kid having a real blast! Spike Jonze, rather, gives us a film of over-sensitive beasts who can't face the reality of their existence who waste time with meaningless activities. Did I mention every character mopes the entire time and if not intoning in obnoxious voices, they speak in half-whispers? My main man Mark Ruffalo comes out for a minute and that made up for the entire film, so if you like Mark Ruffalo, I'd recommend this film!

OTHER NEW RELEASES:

$9.99 (Claymation, Aussie)
The Alcove (Erotic action!)
Alexander the Last (Joe Swanberg mumblecore indie)
Astro Boy
The Black Godfather
Breaking Bad S.2 (DVD & Blu-Ray)
Broken Embraces (DVD & Blu-Ray)
Buddenbrooks
A Call Girl
Contempt (Blu-Ray)
Did You Hear About the Morgans?
Dillinger is Dead (dir. Marco Ferreri, w/Michel Piccoli, 1969)
Doctor Faustus
Ecstasy of the Angels (Dir. Koji Wakamatsu)
Eleven Minutes (doc with Project Runway former champ, Jay McCarroll)
Examined Life (Slavoj Zizek, Cornel West and more!)
Falling
A Fool There Was
The Fourth Kind
The Fury (Dir. Brian De Palma and featuring this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njSrP-B4VN0)
Good Hair (Chris Rock doc)
Hannah Takes the Stairs (An other Joe Swanberg)
Hunger (Blu-Ray)
Heirloom (Taiwanese horror)
The Ladykillers (Blu-Ray)
Living with Tigers
Major Barbara
Motherhood (Uma Thurman)
My Little Pony: The Movie
New Urban Cowboy (doc)
Ninja Assassin (DVD & Blu-Ray)
Nurse Jackie S.1
Outbreak (Dustin Hoffman)
Plaza Suite
Precious: Based on the novel 'Push' by the poet Sapphire (DVD & Blu)
Power Play (Peter O'Toole and David Hemmings)
Ran (Blu-Ray)
Robin Hood S.3
Rocky Road to Dublin (doc)
Stone (Oz-ploitation biker film)
Torso (Italian giallo)
Unchained Memories (Slavery doc)
Up in the Air (DVD & Blu)
Vicious Kind
Wesley Willis's Joy Rides (Doc on the infamous musician)
The White Stripes: Under Great White Northern Lights (DVD & Blu-Ray)
Women in Trouble
Wonderful World

More Warner Archive:

Dance, Fools, Dance
The Flight of Dragons
Love Among Thieves
Made in Heaven
Rich, Young and Pretty
See You in the Morning
The Story of Three Loves
Sweet November
Ten Thousand Bedrooms

RECOMMENDATION FOR THE WEEK:

Revanche: Why this film didn't win best foreign film is beyond me. Comprised of two incredibly emotionally devastating stories, one about a crook and his illegal Ukrainian prostitute, the other, a cop who deals with the problems of middle class life, Revanche is handled excellently under the direction of Austrian, Gotz Spielmann. Borderline noir, but with much soft sunlight cinematography and humanistic elements, free it of any genre pigeonhole. A few flaws aside, this is one of the best and most underrated features of 2009.

NO MORE:
We're done this week
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Can you believe that Windows 98 is twelve years old now?

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Just because someone doesn't like you doesn't mean you're a bad person. It means s/he is.

New Releases for Feb. 9th, or Happy Presidents Day!

2010-02-13T17:53:00.000-08:00

It's the year 2010 and people still haven't realized that all the major corporations have got you by the cajones over Valentine's Day. Life really is a bad sitcom sometimes. It's a day that forces you to materialize your love though crappy stuffed animals made from cheaply paid Chinese children or buy a box of mediocre chocolates. I always prefer to express my love physically (hugging and kissing of course, you perverts!) rather than via commercial means. I would like to express how this day makes me feel, but any swearing or slurs will probably be removed, so I'll just say that you should rent "The Time Travler's Wife" as it expresses love like no other film I've ever seen before!

NEW RELEASES:

Bronson: This film draws the comparison that a greased-up naked man with a nice moustache getting beaten to all hell with batons can be comparable to other facets of performance art. I think performance art is a crock to begin with, but you do get to see a greased-up naked man with a nice moustache getting beaten to all hell. You make the call if you can chew through this.

A Serious Man: Ever thought, "Man! I just can't get enough of these Jewish stereotypes! I need more! More! MORE!"? Then this film is going to be that bright ray of semetic sunshine on your cloudy day. I'm happy, actually too happy, as I need films that are this dark and grim in order to balace my personality out. Somewhere in this film is a comedy, but I can't seem to find it.

Schoolgirl Report #6: Does anyone have a connection to get a job writing the synopsises on the back of DVD cases? For this, I would write "This annual's Schoolgirl Report, the teacher gave these girls an F for being "Fine Ladies" and an "0" for conduct 'cause they're baaaaad girls." I'm a marketing genius, huh?

OTHER NEW RELEASES AND NEW INVENTORY:

7 Lucky Ninja Kids (Children performing all their own very dangerous stunts! Call child services!)
Bushido: The Cruel Code of the Samurai (Samurai are always good)
Bus Stop (Marilyn Monroe)
The Charley Chase Collection
Hanover Street (Harrison Ford)
Killer Drag Queens on Dope (Best title ever for a film. Will it live to up its promise?)
King Lear (Dir. Peter Brook and starring Orson Welles)
Onimasa: The Japanese Godfather (Dir. Hideo Gosha and starring Tatsuya Nakadai)
Robin and Marian (Sean Connery and Audrey Hepburn star in a Robin Hood film)
Stairway to Heaven (Weepy K-Drama)
Stars in My Crown (Dir. Jacques Tournear and starring Joel McCrea and Dean Stockwell)
The Stepfather (the new one)
The Time Travler's Wife

THIS WEEK'S RECOMMENDATION:

Gremlins 2: The New Batch: Why am I recommending this? Because it's Gremlins 2 and I don't need a better reason!

THAT'S IT FOR THIS WEEK:

Just checking up on you guys and stuff!
www.vidtheque.com
www.facebook.com/videotheque

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Don't let little things snowball and get to you. You're too good of a person for that.

Submitted by Sven Hofbauer, editing by Pierrot le Faux

New Releases for Feb. 02, 2010 or Here I Am.

2010-02-02T16:50:00.000-08:00

This week, I was offered a job blogging for a major corporation. Basically, I would've been doing what I've been doing here for the last year (waxing about new films with an occasional snide aside) except the salary was about five times what I make now. Sure, I could've done it, but I love Videotheque and you too, too much.

NEW RELEASES:

Amelia:Feel bad that you didn't see Amelia in the theater and help to contribute to it's major box office loss? Come and rent it and atone for your sins! It's The Aviator on estrogen!

Bright Star: Do you ever think, "Hey! My life isn't miserable enough! I need to be more depressed than ever!", then Bright Star is for you! Based on the very bleak like of John Keats and directed by New Zealand auteur Jane Campion, it deals with Mr. Keats' troubles in the world of romance and in the art of poetry.

Love Happens: I refuse to watch films whose titles tell complete lies.

New York, I Love You: Now they're pushing it. Okay, I understood "Paris Je T'aime". You know, Paris being synonymous with with love and what not, but I never could put love together with New York. When I think New York, I think of pushy jerks on the streets and neurotic, stuttering, over-intellectualized Jewish men. This film seems to have none of that. MILLION DOLLAR IDEA! Make a "Los Angeles, I Love You"!

Outrage: It should be common knowledge now, but there are closeted homosexuals everywhere. Yes. Even among the alpha-males of Capitol Hill. Kirby Dick forces the metaphorical closet open and exposes secret lives, & media double standards.

This Is It: Sony needs to capitalize on the death of Michael Jackson, right? What better way than to compile footage that was probably going to be the extra feature on a DVD and put it in theaters! See Wacko Jacko act as lively as he will ever get. This movie is going to be off the hook as it's rated PG for "suggestive choreography". Yeeeeeaaahhh!

Whip It: Physics would dictate that Ellen Page's petite frame and height of 5' 1'' would preclude her from causing physical damage to an other being, but through the magic of cinema and Drew Barrymore, science is ignored as Ellen Page is hot stuff in the world of roller derby. A hobo in Hollywood once related to my female cohort a sexist comment in describing a girl on roller blades as "a meal on wheels", so if you relish skimpily clad versions of same, then I suggest it. Also! Would make a good double feature with Robert Aldrich's female wrestling pic, "...All the Marbles" (find it on our recommended Warner Archive shelf!).

OTHER NEW RELEASES AND NEW INVENTORY:

As It is in Heaven (Sweden)
Cafe Setareh (Iran)
China Doll
Cold Souls (Paul Giamatti)
Country's Greatest Stars Volumes I & II (Dolly P, Crystal G, Glen C, Tammy W & more!)
Cowboy (Jack Lemmon in a western!)
Fela Kuti/Music is the Weapon
The FBI Story (James Stewart)
Gamer
Ghulam (Bollywood)
Hellboy 2 (Blu-Ray)
The House of the Devil (Indie horror film)
Kings of the Ring (Boxing documentary)
Like Stars on Earth
Little Ashes
My Fuhrer (Comedy that laughs at Hitler! Makes a great double feature with Downfall!)
Ong Bak 2: The Beginning
Sarfarosh
Saviour of the Soul
Saw VI (Never ending torture-porn series!)
Soul Power (Zaire '74 documentary)
Spin & Marty (Disney Classic TV)
The Stepfather (The '87 original!)
St. Trinians (Russell Brand..)
Surrogates (Blu-Ray)
The United States of Tara S.1 (Created by Queen of Quirk, Diablo Cody)
The Vanished Empire (Russia)
Welcome to Collinwood
Whip It (Blu-Ray)
Wholphin N.10
The Yellow Rolls-Royce
Zombieland
Zombieland (Blu-Ray)

BLOG PICK O' DA WEEK: Roberto Rossellini's War Trilogy: When Inglourious Basterds came out, people were confused about my ambivalence toward the film. My big problem was that it makes a mockery of a war that caused the death of about 60,000,000 people. Maybe I'm a stick in the mud, I just don't find much funny about it. Guess I'm just a prude happy enough with my pre-60's black & white talkies. Take these three: Rome Open City, Paisan, & Germany Year Zero-- essential viewing for those who dare don the cinephile cap. Not only did this group of films create the neo-realist movement that would set the mark for new cinema for the next seventy years, they remain powerful representations of a how a war-torn world affects everyone. All three are available for the first time in almost perfect transfers with a ton of special features and fully uncut.

NOW GO!:

The blog is finished!
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Ever notice our ceiling? Me neither.

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
War isn't fun. Try not to start one.

Submitted by Harold Carpi & Pierrot le Faux

New Releases for Jan 19th 2010, or I should really get on the ball about updating these blogs...

2010-01-19T16:20:00.000-08:00

It's the year 2010, and if Hollywood has taught me anything it's that we only have two years left on this shiny blue marble. I think we should use this bit of knowledge and live it up before our planet is as expired as the King Island Emu. My suggestion is to come by and rent everything we've got. Live your life! Go out there and live it! By coming in and taking movies home.

Happy New Year!

NEW RELEASES:

(500) Days of Summer: This new pseudo-indie comedy starring pseudo-indie goddess, Zooey Deschanel, is too cute for it's own good. I've never really fallen in love before, but I'd like to think that falling in love is like this movie. If you want to know what love is, this movie will show you.

District 9: This movie had some pretty intense marketing before it hit the streets. I remember seeing those bus ads with a toll free number. I was actually one of the losers who called the number on the ads only to be dissapointed with a lame pre-recorded message. The ad rubbed me in the wrong way and I passed on watching this. Now I regret it after hearing from everyone how awesome it is. It was filmed in South Africa and apparently features some pretty out there special effects, too.

The Hurt Locker: This movie was nearly too intense. In fact, it put so much stress on me, I developed an ulcer in the middle of the film. But it is only the sixth film to do this to me this year, so it gets my seal of approval. Besides, it makes you fortunate that we're stuck in Los Angeles where our biggest problem is heavy traffic in the 110 freeway.

It Might Get Loud: Jimmy Page, the AARP's greatest guitar player, The Edge, still playing the same guitar riff of the last twenty years, and Jack White, looking paler than ever, get together for an hour and a half jam session. Is it good? Yes. Yes it is.

Jennifer's Body: Megan Fox stars as a cheer leader who's eating her fellow students. Plus, it's written by Diablo Cody so expect everyone in this film to speak like Diablo Cody. Also, interesting fact, the Wikipedia article for this film is longer than the Wikipedia article for cannibalism.

Moon: An amalgamation of sci-fi cinematic history and directed by David Bowie's son Duncan Jones (a.k.a. Zowie Bowie), was pretty neat. I can't really say much about this without ruining it, but you must see it for yourself. One of my favorite things is the lack of CGI effects and a return to classic sci-fi days with models.

OTHER NEW RELEASES AND NEW INVENTORY FOR THIS WEEK:

Big Fan (Patton Oswalt)
The Burning Plain
Death in the Garden (Dir. Luis Bunuel)
Departures (Academy Award 2009 for Best Foreign Language Picture)
Downloading Nancy (Indie)
Fame (09)
Halloween II (09)
The Invention of Lyin (Ricky Gervais)
I Can Do Bad All By My Self
In the Loop
Yo Gabba Gabba! New Friends
No Impact Man
Post Grad
Smoking Aces 2: Assassin's Bay
The United States of Tara S.1
Weeds S.5

Region One Imports:
27 Missing Kisses
About the Looking and Finding for Love
The Accompanist (Dir. Claude Miller)
Bebo's Girls
Before the Revolution (Dir. Bernardo Bertolucci)
Caught (Dir. Max Ophuls)
Cul-de-sac (Dir. Roman Polanski)
Hotel Du Nord
Journey to Italy (Dir. Roberto Rossellini
The Lady of Musashino (Dir. Kenji Mizoguchi)
L'air de Paris
Le Silence de la Mer
Letters from and Unknown Woman (Dir. Max Ophuls)
Madame Claude
Mariage of Romeo & Juliet
Marianne of My Youth
Miracle in Milan (Dir. Vittorio De Sica)
My New Partner
Red Sun (Charles Bronson, Alain Delon and Toshiro Mifune)
The Tarnished Angeles (Dir. Douglas Sirk)
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Dir. Elia Kazan)
Viva Zapata (Dir. Eliza Kazan and starring Marlon Brando)

More Warner Archive:
Bright Leaf
Deep Valley
Every Girl Should Be Married
The Hard Way
A Lady of Chance
The Little Drummer Girl
One Sunday Afternoon
One Trick Pony (Paul Simon)
Operator 13
Saratoga Trunk
Task Force
Then Came Bronson
Today We Live
Untamed Youth
Wild Orchids

RECOMMENDED SECTIONS:

Eric Rohmer 1920-2010: Grand old man of cinema, Eric Rohmer, has passed on at the age of 89. We can't say he didn't live a full life as he was fortunate to keep up an active working career til the end. With almost thirty films under his name and several shorts, Eric Rohmer left behind a substantial body of work. In dedication, we have a small section dedicated to his contributions to cinema such as his splendid Six Moral Tales ("The Bakery Girl of Monceau", "Suzanne's Career", "La Collectionneuse", "My Night at Maud's", "Claire's Knee", & "Chloe in the Afternoon"), "Pauline at the Beach", and "Rendez-vous in Paris".

Import and Rarity Corner: We've tracked down some great titles unavailable on these shores. Don't miss classics like Marcle Carne's "Hotel du Nord", Elia Kazan's "Viva Zapata", and Robert Rossellini's "Voyage to Italy" for starters, plus a stash of amazing work from Polanski, Melville, Ophuls, Mizoguchi, Bertolucci and more! Help yourself to some long lost cult titles like "Rolling Thunder ('77)", "The Legend of Billie Jean", and "Rad", too.

Sherlock Holmes: Did Guy Ritchie's re-imagining of the Sherlock Holmes tales in the form of a buddy cop movie (with a thin Watson) offend you? With our new section, you can remember who Sherlock Holmes was via the 80s BBC Jeremy Brett version, the serious Basil Rathbone serials, and even a fun parody with Gene Wilder, "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes Smarter Brother".

BLOG PIC OF THE WEEK:

Forty Guns: This cried out for my attention the moment I saw it was directed by Samuel Fuller and starring the beautiful and enduring Barbara Stanwyck. What you get is another great Fuller film filled with subversive dark humor (a lot of overtly sexual ones I was surprised made it past the censors), gritty action and a tough female that puts all the men in their place. One of the best Hollywood westerns and worth it just to see Barbara Stanwyck in cute outfits, surviving a tornado, and Barry Sullivan as an asexual cowboy. Not my favorite Samuel Fuller, but it's still amazing to think a film like this could've been made in the studio system.

Ciao:

I'm done for the week
www.vidtheque.com
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www.myspace.com/videotheque
blogspot.vidtheque.com
Look at poor RV. He has to do actually physical labor while I stand here like a slob updating a website...

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Don't ignore your blog for a few weeks.

Back From Hiatus, or New Releases for December 15th

2009-12-16T22:33:00.000-08:00

This marks my mighty and triumphant return to the world of internet blogging. I wish I could say something amazing has happened since the last time I blogged. Nuthin' spectacular! I can't say I got arrested while crossing the border for smuggling or that I was in a Cambodian prison for defacing public property.

The fact is I just been plain ol' busy. Work tends to do that to you. In fact, I've been working too much. My kids are probably wondering "where's poppa?". Oh! I should hurry up and finish this fast! When I left home a week ago, I told them I was just going to go get a Pepsi at the market down the street.

NEW RELEASES:

G-Force: Wait, Guinea Pigs with guns AND Zach Galifanakis!? Movie of the year. I'm sold.

The Hangover: When I saw the preview for this months ago I though "Jeez! That movie looks horrible". Then all of a sudden it comes out, & everyone tells me it's the greatest thing since bendy straws. I'm just tired of comedies with balding, grown men who still act like they're sixteen. I guess I'm just jaded & fail to see the humor. You should watch it out of spite for this writer. I know I would if I were you.

Inglourious Basterds: Tarantino's misspelled masterpiece of blood, guns, revenge and "nat-sees" comes to DVD right before the madness of Christmas. Nothing says "I love you" or "I respect you as a human being" than by renting this flick for your sweetie. It's very telling that everyone from the spoiled cineaste to my friend who only watches things like "He's Just Not That Into You" all think it's the cat's meow! Plus there's some pretty gnarly decapitations.

Taking Woodstock: Ang Lee is a pretty diverse guy. I'm not too crazy about his movies, but the guy hops on a pretty wide variety of projects. You have to give it to the guy. This one is a comedy about a kid helping bringing the Woodstock Music Festival into... well... Woodstock so all the hippies can pay for rooms at his parents' motel. Here's the error in his idea: hippies don't pay for things. All they do is bum off everyone and say it's in the name of love. Also, this movie has Eugene Levy playing a character not unlike the character he plays in every other movie he is in.

OTHER NEW RELEASES AND NEW INVENTORY OF THE WEEK:

Braveheart (Blu-Ray)
City of Joy
Crossing Over
The Escapist
Fringe S.1
The Hangover (Blu-Ray)
Inglourious Basterds (Blu-Ray)
The Jerry Lewis Show Collection
Last House on the Beach
Mickey's Christmas Carol
Scorpio
The Snows of Kilimanjaro
The Tudors S.3
Warner Christmas set including All Mine to Give, It Happened on 5th Avenue, Blossoms in the Dusy, and the Holiday Affair
The Wizard of Oz (Blu-Ray)
The Wizards of Waverly Place

PIC O' DA WEEK:

3 Godfathers: Let me just start by saying this isn't John Ford's best, but it's a good one to watch this holiday season, especially if you're tired of the drudgery of Santa Buddies, Elf and It's a Wonderful Life. The story is a straight parallel of the three wisemen's tale: the Duke, some red head, and a gentle Mexican bandito and criminal buddies who go across the West robbing banks. Stuck in the desert and in search of water, they end up finding an ill woman who's about to give birth. The mother dies after childbirth so these three kindhearted crooks are left to care for the little one. The cinematography is beautiful and it's the first Christmas film I've seen in a while without a single mention of Santa Claus or gifts. The three men have more important things on their mind. It's worth a viewing to get your mind off the deep financial debt the holidays put you in.

BYE:

See you next time. Well, that is IF there is a next time...
www.vidtheque.com
www.facebook.com/vidtheque

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Don't write "Merry Christmas" on cards this year. Right "Happy Holidays". That's more P.C.

New Releases for October 27th, or Here We Go Again!

2009-10-29T18:51:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween!

At this point you're saying "Hey chump! It's not Halloween yet!". You're right, but it certainly is the week of Halloween. I love this time of year. Gives me an excuse to look into my neighbors house when they give me candy and the right to dress as scantily clad as I want.

Too bad I'm a diabetic and can't eat candy. I'm also a Jehova Witness and so I don't observe any holidays. Maybe talking about movies will kill the pain.

NEW RELEASES:

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs: Now wait! The first and second ones take place during the actually ice age, right? Well, wasn't the ige age loooooooong after the dawn of dinosaurs. So how are these eras colliding? Ugh. This is giving me a headache. I'm going to mix some aspirin and water then call it a night...

Il Divo: With this and Gommorah, this is the year for Italian crime films. That genre hasn't been popular since the seventies, but looks like they're on the up and up. In fact, I bought a few bottles of Italian wine, pizza, and anything else stereotypically Italian and started my own mafia crime syndicate! After seeing those films, I know what NOT to do and succeed in crime.

Orphan: I can't watch this film. That little girl on the cover scares me. In fact, when a customer gave me the case to rent this, my body went into shock. I used to like horror movies, but this one looks too scary.

Whatever Works: The 73 year-old Woody Allen truly shows no signs of stopping. As of right now, they just revealed that he's finishing up ANOTHER movie in London called "You Will Meet a Tall, Dark Stranger". Now here he is again with his new movie staring my homey Larry David. This movie is based on a script he wrote in the seventies he wrote for Zero Mostel. Sounds neat!

OTHER NEW RELEASES AND NEW INVENTORY
Abel Raises Cain
Battle of Britain (Blu-Ray)
Battlestar Galactica: The Plan
Blood, Sweat + Gears
Caspar
Chops
Curse of the Mummy's Tomb
Eagles Over London (Blu-Ray)
Fados (Dir. Carlos Saura)
Fire & Ice (Blu-Ray)
Inside the Koran
The Longest Day (Blu-Ray)
The L-Word: The Final Season
Misery
Monty Python: Almost Truth
The New York Ripper (Blu-Ray)
Not Your Typical Bigfoot Movie
Perestroika
Scream of Fear
Shaun of the Dead (Blu-Ray)
Something to Do With the Wall
Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll
Waxwork I & II
Whatever Works (Blu-Ray)
YPF
Z (Criterion)

BLOG PICK OF THE WEEK:

Man Hunt: With Valkyrie and Inglorious Basterds, the idea of finding Hitler and killing him is making a major comeback despite him being dead now for almost 65 years. While browsing around our classic film section, I stumbled upon this Fritz Lang film from 1942. The premise sounds simple enough. A British hunter goes to Germany to hunt the deadliest game of all: HITLER! While there, he gets caught and in order to leave the nation, he needs to sign that he was sent by the British government to assassinate Hitler. The whole movie is beautifully and carefully shot with expressionistic lighting that rivals what he did with his earlier German classics. Very interesting to see a German expatriate's take on the war erupting in Germany. Still made while the US was a neutral party during World War II and the American government was upset about a film that supported them entering the war. It might be a piece of propaganda, but what a great one!

NOW GO!:

Live your lives and forget about me!

www.vidtheque.com
vidtheque.blogspot.com
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Peeking 'round the corner.

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Wear a jacket when you go out. I don't want you guys to get sick!

New Releases for Oct. 20th, or Finally We're Back!

2009-10-21T18:54:00.000-07:00

So, here I am again after two weeks sans blog, in front of the computer screen at the 'Theque. We've been pretty busy getting things going at the new store & blogwriting time has been scarce.

One week, I rented a tuxedo and spent a crazy week in Reno. The week after that, I ran into a bookie I owe twenty bucks to and ran away from him. In the haste of trying to dodge his gunfire, I slipped on a fire escape and ended up spraining my ankle. Now I'm back here.

Now I got two weeks worth of releases to go through, so let's get started.

NEW RELEASES:

Blood: The Last Vampire: I think the gore film featuring a Japanese girl in a miniskirt has honestly become a sub-genre. This seems to be the newest in the continuing trend.

Drag Me to Hell: I was hoping to see this as a return to glory and gore that Sam Raimi used to do so well. Then I witnessed the true horror: it was rated PG-13. I can't trust it. I know I say this a lot, but watch it for me and tell me how it is.

Hardware: Richard Stanley's forgotten murderous cyborg masterpiece has finally been given it's due on DVD and Blu-Ray by our friends at Severin Films. This film has three necessary elements to be a masterpiece: Iggy Pop, gore and a cyborg wearing a bandana with the American flag. God bless America!

Imagine That: Eddie Murphy never recovered from "Pluto Nash", did he? "Dreamgirls" didn't even help. We'll always have memories of "Coming to America" and "Trading Places"...

Objectified: I will never look at a toothbrush the same after seeing this documentary. It's a new doc about the design and ideas that go behind making consumer goods. You honestly see a team of people working together to design a toothbrush. I suppose having a handle and bristles isn't enough anymore.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: I don't even know what to say about this. It's good that John Turturro still has work though.

OTHER NEW RELEASES AND NEW INVENTORY:

13 Worms (Hong Kong '71)
35 Shots of Rum (Dir: Claire Denis, France)
Adoration (Dir: Atom Egoyan)
Adoration (Blu-Ray)
Anvil: The Story of Anvil (hilarious doc of Canadian metal "coulda beens")
Assassination of a High School President (Mischa Barton)
Away We Go (Blu-Ray)
The Black List V.2
Blood on the Flat Track (all-girl roller derby doc)
Cheri (Dir: Stephen Frears, Michelle Pfeiffer)
Chinese Odyssey 2002 (w/ Tony Leung, Faye Wong, Wong Kar-Wai produced)
Deadgirl
Died Young, Stayed Pretty (Doc. on handmade concert posters)
Dominick Dunne: After the Party (Doc.)
The End of the Line (Doc. on world's dwindle edible fish supply)
Esther Williams set including: Easy to Love, Fiesta, Million Dollar Mermaid, Thrill of a Romance, This Time for Keeps, Pagan Love Song
Errol Flynn set including: Virginia City, San Antonio, Rocky Montain and Montana
John Ford set including: The Lost Patrol, The Informer, Mary of Scotland, Sergeant Rutledge and the documentary "Directed by John Ford" (Dir: Peter Bogdanovich)
For My Father (Israel)
French Cuisine
Hori Smoku Sailor Jerry (Tattoo artist) (Doc.)
In a Dream (Doc.)
Italian Cuisine
It's Garry Shandling's Show
I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown!
Tom Jobin set including: No More Blues, Waters of March and She's a Carioca
Kabei Our Mother (Japan)
King Kong (1974)
Land of the Lost (Will Ferrel)
Least of These (Doc.)
Love 'n Dancing
Dusan Makavejev set including: Man is Not a Bird, Love Affair or the Case of the Missing Telephone Operator, and Innocence Unprotected
Marlene (Doc. on Dietrich)
Midsomer Murders (lot more volumes!)
Monsoon Wedding (Criterion)
Monsoon Wedding (Blu-Ray)
Mr. Skeffington (Bette Davis)
National Parks:America's Best Idea (Ken Burns)
Kevin Nealon: Now Hear Me Out
La Belle Personne (Dir: Christophe Honore, France)
The Legend of Paul and Paula (Germany)
Nerosubianco (Attraction) (Dir: Tinto Brass, Italy)
Nimrod Nation (High School basketball Doc.)
Nip/Tuck S.5 Pt.2
Note by Note: The Making of Steinway L1037
Not Quite Hollywood (Oz-ploitation documentary)
Pour Elle (For Her) (w/Vincent Lindon, Diane Kruger, France)
The Proposal (Sandra Bullock)
Psycho II, III, & IV
The Queen and I (Doc. on the Shah of Iran's wife & the overthrow of the Monarchy regime, 30 years later)
Rage (Dir. Sally Potter)
Rethinking Afghanistan (Doc.)
Saturday Morning Cartoons 70's V.1
Silent Hill
Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs (Reissue/Remaster)
Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs (Blu-Ray)
Karlheinz Stockhausen: Helicopter String Quartet
Summer Hours (Dir. Olivier Assayas)
Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
The Sword (Hong Kong, '71)
Talking Heads: Stop Making Sense (Blu-Ray)
Three Monkeys (Dir. Nuri Bulge Ceylon, Turkey)
Tierra (Dir. Julio Medem, Spain, '96)
Treeless Mountain (Korea)
Triage (Doc. on Doctors without Borders)
Trick 'r Treat (Bryan Singer-produced instant Halloween classsic!)
Trick 'r Treat (Blu-Ray)
What Makes Sammy Run? (teleplay '59)
Katt Williams: Pimpadelic
Year One (Michael Cera & Jack Black, Dir. Harold Ramis)

More Warner Archive:
Abe Lincol in Illinois
Al Capone
All Falls Down
All the Marble (Peter Falk, Dir. Robert Aldrich)
Any Wednesday
Boulevard Nights (East Los cholos)
Convicts 4
Crime and Punishment U.S.A.
Crisis (Cary Grant)
The D.I. (Jack Webb)
Dream Wife
Experiment Perilous (Dir. Jaques Tourneur)
Get to Know Your Rabbit
Goodbye, Mr. Fancy
The Grasshopper
Green Mansions (Anthony Perkins & Audrey Hepburn)
The Ice Follies of 1939
Kaleidoscope (Warren Beatty)
King of the Roaring 20's
Lepke
Mannequin (Joan Crawford)
The Money Trap
The Moon is Blue
Mr. Lucky (Cary Grant)
Once Upon a Honeymoon
Room for One More
The Shining Hour (Dir. Frank Borzage)
The Toast of New York
The Terminal Man
This Woman is Dangerous
When Ladies Meet
Wrestling Ernest Hemingway

Blog Pick of the Week: Black Rain (1989): Shohei Imamura's masterpiece about the Hiroshima bombing may be twenty years old, but it's a poignant story and a memory of a point in history that shouldn't be forgotten. With the effect of it's black and white cinematography and the Toru Takemitsu soundtrack that just crawls under your skin, you feel the horror and confusion everyone must've felt after the bomb. Buddha watches the whole time, powerless to do anything about the violence man brings upon each other. Excellent edition from Animeigo/E1 includes an alternate ending, interviews with the star Yoshiko Tanaka and with assistant director Takeshi Miike (!) and American propganda from the World War II era.

RECOMMENDED SECTIONS: Happy Halloween: It's the most wonderful time of the year: HALLOWEEN! It's the one day of the year I don't feel like an idiot because of the way I dress! We're in the celebratory spirit by having a section full of classic horror films like Friday the 13th, Psycho, The Exorcist and The Paul Lynde Halloween Special.

Martina's "Champagne Chillers": Martina is a very classy person. In fact, she's too classy to watch dreck like Saw. "No way" she says! Grab a glass of champagne, some brie and caviar and sit in your Manhattan loft watching Murnau's version of Nosferatu, The Man Who Laughs and The Cat People.

Grace's "Suck My Blood": Well, don't actually suck her blood. Rent some vampire movies out of her section instead. She's got some of the suckiest (in vampire terms) films around including Blood for Dracula, the old Hammer Dracula films with Christopher Lee and Coppola's Dracula film.

Mark A's "Let's Talk About Gore": Mark noticed all the pansy horror sections in the store and was upset. He told me that Halloween isn't for lame-o's, but for the bloodthirsty individuals like himself. Here you'll fnd some pretty awesome gore like Tokyo Gore Police, The Gore, Gore Girls, and even Al Gore in An Inconvenient Truth.

RV Parks's "Monster By Moonlight": On one of RV's many late night strolls from the pub to his home something happened. He's not too sure (he had a few too many Anchor Steams) but woke up with a mysterious bite on his arm. Even stranger, he's been coming to work with blood on his shirt and his shirt torn. The back of his hands have gotten noticebly hairy too. Even stranger than that is that he's made a section about werewolves including films like The Howling, Dog Soldiers, Wolfen and Teen Wolf.

Hallo Kids: So maybe gore, vampires and werewolves aren't for your kids. Little Jimmy, Tommy, and Stacey just aren't old enough to handle it. We understand and as a result, have put together a section of kiddy classics like Mad Monster Party, Escape to Witch Mountain and It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!

IT FEELS GOOD TO BE HERE AGAIN:

See you guys again!
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For those who haven't seen it, we'll have nice res photos of our new location. In the mean time, enjoy this one image!

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Pay all your debts before they come after you.

New Releases for Sept. 29th, or Let's Hurry This Up!

2009-09-29T15:19:00.000-07:00

We're really moving everything this week. I have no time for blogs, so let's keep this short.

NEW RELEASES AND NEW INVENTORY:

Away We Go
Battle in Space
The Brothers Bloom
Full Battle Rattle
The Girlfriend Experience
The Girlfriend Experience (Blu-Ray)
H-Man
IP 5
The IT Crows S.3
Labyrinth (Blu-Ray)
Life on Mars (US)
Management
Monsters vs. Alens
Mothra
Nerdcore Rising
Secrecy
Shaun the Sheep: Little Sheep of Horrors
Shrink
Take Out
Ugly Betty S.3
Wallace and Gromit Complete (Blu-Ray)

BLOG PICK OF THE WEEK:

Paths of Glory: I have no time to explain why, but just watch it.

BYE:
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MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Don't write blogs when you're busy.
This photo has nothing to do with the move, but I'll tell you this: I'd rather do what this cat is doing than continue to do what it is I'm doing at this moment.

New Releases for Sept. 22nd, or Are You Guys Open?

2009-09-22T18:34:00.000-07:00

We're in the final stages of our move to the new location. As the young kids say, I'm pretty "stoked". Over here, the store is considerably emptier. Over there, the flooring and paint are complete, shelving fixtures mostly assembled, posters hung, the wiring finished. In short, almost ready for your approval.

We're awaiting a counter addition, drop box, and a few other items to be completed by our our trusty carpenter team. We're looking at about a week and a half out, shooting for the weekend of Oct. 2-3
for the big opening (we'll close for 2-3 days prior to get the rest of the old store moved & the new one
ready to go). So far it's turning out real pur-tee. A beaut even.

NEW RELEASE:

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past: This is about the twentieth romantic comedy to come out of Hollywood this year. It's almost overload. And to make things worse, it stars my mortal enemy Matthew McConaughey. It's basically about a guy who treats women poorly, learns a valuble lesson and loves again. The title makes it sound like it could've been a good horror movie about a guy who murders his girlfriends and is haunted by them, but I guess that doesn't fly with Hollywood.

Observe and Report: Riding on the coat-tails of Paul Blart Mall Cop, Seth Rogan stars in this comedic version of Taxi Driver where a weirdo and loner feels he needs to accomplish something great. Co-starring Ray Liotta with the worst plastic surgery I've ever seen and Anna Ferris as the most obnoxious woman in the world. It also has Michael Pena who's actually pretty funny and has a great voice (too bad he's only in the movie for about five minutes).

O'Horton: The cover for this has THE MOST ADORABLE DOG I'VE EVER SEEN. I should rent this just for the dog. I dare you to look into the dog's eyes and not go "Awwwwww". Somewhere underneath this cover lies the DVD which contains a Norwegian comedy about a train conductor's forced retirement. That doesn't sound funny. I wouldn't advise laughing at others' misery, but I condone you renting this.

OTHER NEW RELEASES AND NEW INVENTORY:

30 Rock S.3
Bionicle: The Legend Reborn
Diamant 13
Events
Everlasting Moments (Dir. Jan Torell)
Gervaise (Dir. Rene Clement)
Gigante
Godzilla/Gojira (Blu-Ray)
In the Womb (National Gerographic documentary)
Inju: The Beast Within (Dir. Barbet Schroeder)
James Dean: 1st American Teenage (Documentary)
Jimi Plays Monterey (Blu-Ray)
The Killer (Dir. Cedric Anger)
Le Sour Se Leve (Dir. Marcel Carne & starring Jean Gabin)
Lymelife
Mayerling
Monterey Pop (Blu-Ray)
The Sea Wall
Secret Defense
Sons of Anarchy S.1
That Hamilton Woman (Dir. Alexander Korda)
Wallace and Gromit: A Matter of Loaf and Death
Waterlife (Documentary about... umm... waterlife)

BLOG PICK OF THE WEEK:

Pierrot Le Fou: I know you all too well. You're thinking "Yo! Videotheque! We know you like Godard. You got all those posters. Why pick this?". Why? Because it's maybe Godard's finest film (plus it was just re-issued on Blu-Ray). Godard's perfect mix of emotional instinct and intellectualism ends up turning the traditional love-on-the run story into something equally manic, romantic and fun drenched in pop art designs and colors of the French (and American) flag. Samuel Fuller has a nice cameo too where he tells us what he thinks cinema is ("In one word: emotions"). The new Blu-Ray transfer looks magnificent too. I saw the remastered print at the Aero Theater about two years ago and can't remember it looking as good as this. Maybe I'm a sucker for a pretty Anna Karina and a cool Jean-Paul Belmondo, but I can't suggest this film highly enough (hear!, hear! ed. MW ).

SAYONARA:

Thanks for reading this blog again!
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MORAL OF THE WEEK:
When you watch a movie with someone else, quit interrupting and asking questions. It's pretty annoying.

New Releases for Sept. 15th, or Smooth Movin'

2009-09-15T14:15:00.000-07:00

Instead of writing this week's blog, I took photos of how the store is looking like while we move.

NEW RELEASES:

Grace: A co-worker of mine had the same name as this film and wanted to watch it. Unfortunately, she couldn't watch it but it has to be cool: IT HAS A BABY VAMPIRE.

Old Jews Telling Jokes: My uncle Moishe would've loved to have seen this. He was an old Jew who told jokes. Unfortunately he has a pain in the tucas and can't sit in front of the TV. That man is a schmoe! A meschugener! Oi vay!

Stella: Live in Boston: I actually saw this one! For once, I saw a new release! So if you've ever seen the short lived Stella show or the internet shorts, expect that except, you know, it's live. I had a blast watching this and it's worth it alone to hear them talk about things that are too offensive to mention on this blog.

Triangle: The homiest of my homies, Johnnie To, Tsui Hark and Ringo Lam, got together and made a heist film. I would've most definitely have seen this if I knew it existed. C'est la vie! The fact that the main characters are drinking buddies who get thrown into the world of Hong Kong crime leads me to believe this is going to be off the proverbial hook.

Trumbo: I like the cover. Reminds me of my uncle Moishe. Except my uncle Moishe wasn't blacklisted nor did he write Spartacus nor did he have a documentary about him. He did sit in the bathtub all day reading "Reader's Digest", though. Anyways, this is a documentary about famous screenwriter Dalton Trumbo: a man who was the polar opposite of my uncle Moishe.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine: This is actually a very clever idea for the studios. They can make several sequels detailing each character from the X-Men series by giving them their own movie. I've never seen an X-Men movie before (and a co-worker was shocked), but you gotta admit that this is a guaranteed way to make money to take to the bank.

OTHER NEW RELEASES:

Easy Virtue
Four Dragons
The Human Condition (Criterion)
Iron Monkey (Blu-Ray)
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia S.4
Kelly's Heroes
Legend of the Drunken Master (Jackie Chan) (Blu-Ray)
Rumba
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Blu-Ray)
Zatoichi (Takeshi Kitano) (Blu-Ray)

BLOG PICK OF THE WEEK:

Dead Zone: Our very own Ronny D. kept insisting I had to see this after watching a parody of it on SNL. He hasn't recommended me one bad movie yet, so I took him up on it and watched it. I hate to gush all over a movie, but this was an excellent film. Christopher Walken plays an English teacher who after falling into a coma for five years, wakes up with the powers to tell the future (plus a cool new hairdo). The always great Martin Sheen plays a man running for senate that make Bush look like, uh... well, not look as bad and Brooke Adams plays his cutie who has since re-married after he fell into his coma. Despite not being one of Cronenberg's more auteur-ist works, it's still an excellent movie that's even separated into three different acts that almost feel like individual movies. Now that it was suggested to me, I want to pass on the oral tradition of suggesting movies and so I suggest that you watch it.

RECOMMENDED SECTIONS:

RV Parks' Criminal Lovers: RV has been married girl who's a rebel and who never-ever does any good. But he still loves her. To celebrate their recent crime-spree across the mid-west, he's dedicated a whole section featuring criminals with hearts in their eyes and their bullets in other people's hearts; classics like "The Honeymoon Killers", "Badlands", and "Wild at Heart".

BYE BYE:
See ya later.

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MORAL OF THE WEEK:
I don't care if you know me or not, but please, don't call me "bro". It's obnoxious.

New Releases for September 8th, or The Next Step Has Begun.

2009-09-08T20:14:00.000-07:00

To my surprise, the moment I stepped into the store, things were different. No longer was Anna Karina smirking above my head. Nor was Lolita tempting me to rent her movie. Nor were the protagonists of Bicycle Thieves pulling at my heart strings. The walls were barren and desolate; all our posters have been moved to the new location.

We've started our first steps with the big move. Our office and storage have already emptied out, & over the weekend the shelving fixtures on the shopfloor will begin to do the same.
As you come in during the next two plus weeks, you'll have to pardon our dust.
Trust me when I say it's for the better good!

(we're currently estimating an opening at 1020 Mission during the last week of September, or first week of October, with perhaps 2-3 down days between our closure here & re-opening across the road! - Mark W. )

NEW RELEASES:

Crank 2: High Voltage: This has the Baryshnikov of bullets, Jason Statham, getting electrocuted to stay alive. The cover leads me to believe this has little to no substance, but features and insane amount of automatic weapons, so basically it's like my life.

Dance Flick: A new and relevant comedy that makes jokes about the CGI dancing baby craze that's sweeping America today and that was featured in last week's episode of Ally McBeal. Directed by one of the Wayans brothers.

Homicide: David Mamet's long unreleased drama about loss of identity and antisemitism is hidden in the guise of a police thriller. This movie is worth watching for a mustachioed William H. Macy playing his only tough guy role where he carries a shotgun and swears like a sailor. Coutesy of our friends at Criterion, you get a neat commentary and a featurette of interviews with the cast.

Model Shop: Jaques Demy classic Los Angeles feature finally arrives to us from Sony's Martini Movies series. See the always beautiful Anouk Aimee looking... uh... beautiful. According to one of my co-workers, she said this film was the "bees knees". Well, not in those words, but you catch my drift.

Valentino: The Last Emperor: I went to the American Cinematheque two nights in a row back in May and they played the trailer for this both nights. From the trailer, I'm going to assume it's about a feminine and obnoxious man with skin texture similar to that of a football who owns several dogs and who's aging is forcing him out of the fashion world. Even though I summed it up, you should come in and rent it anyways because a portion of the money you pay goes to my paycheck, which itself is spent to find my three kids.

OTHER NEW RELEASES AND NEW INVENTORY:

Born in '68
Heroes S.3
Metalocalypse S.2 (Adult Swim)
The New World (Blu-Ray)
Nikkatsu Noir set with I Am Waiting, Rusty Knife, Take Aim at the Police Van, Cruel Gun Story and A Colt is My Passport
No.1 Ladies Detective Agency (HBO show)
Zen & Zero (surf doc)

BON VOYAGE:

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MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Be careful when you drive. You don't want to make the same mistake I did!

Took this photo this Friday. They were filming a Honda commercial. Because of this, they took away your parking that whole night. I would suggest you protest against them and quit buying their cars, but I own a huge chunk of stock in them so please don't. Like I said earlier, I need to feed my kids.

New Releases for September 1st, or I can't stand the heat. I can't stand it.

2009-09-01T15:44:00.000-07:00

Man, I used to like fire. I remember having barbecues, heating water, breathing fire, lighting fireworks, burning hair, etc. Now it's become my worst enemy.

The last week has been nothing but smoky skies and ash. Two firemen have died and we're now in a state of emergency.

I'm glad I have Videotheque at times like this. It has air conditioning to clean up the smoky air and lets me see movies so I don't have to watch constant updates on TV about how the fire isn't getting better.

Thank you Videotheque.

NEW RELEASES:

Earth: "Better than March of the Penguins" - Pete Hammond, Hollywood.com
"What!?" - Me, vidtheque.com

Good Dick: Oh look! An other indie movie with a hand drawn cover! It's about a customer at a videostore (It's Cinefile, our buddies out on the westside) who falls in love with one of the clerks who works there. Anyone who knows us video store clerks know we are an uncompassionate bunch and lack the emotion of love. These filmmakers obviously didn't do their research!

Sin Nombre: My whole life I've been surrounded by people very similar to the movie. I've had friends, family, and coworkers who've experienced the trouble of coming to America illegally to make an honest buck. I wanted to see this film, but I didn't for some reason or an other. I did have a friend who saw it (both his parents were from Guatemala, Honduras' neighbor) and he was nuts about it.

State of Play: My dawg Russell Crowe plays an American in this remake of the BBC mini-series of the same name. It's written by my other homeboy Tony Gilroy and features a plot about a major government conspiracy. Aaaahhhh yeeeaaah!

Sugar: There's been a considerable drought of baseball movies. The creative team behind Half Nelson thought so too, so they made this drama about the perils of a gifted baseball player from the Dominican Republic. I was a little sad when it turned out it wasn't about actual sugar. When I discovered that, I went to Buster's and got a mint and chip ice cream instead.

OTHER NEW RELEASE AND NEW INVENTORY:

Bad Boy Bubby (Blu-Ray)
Becoming Charley Chase (Silent)
Earth (DVD, Blu-Ray)
Homeboy (Mickey Rourke, Christopher Walken, '88)
Metalocalypse S.1, S.2
Rescue Me S.5 V.1
State of Play (Blu-Ray)
Stuff Happens with Bill Nye
The Toe Tactic (American Indie)
Unwigged & Unplugged Live (Spinal Tap reunites)

BLOG PICK OF THE WEEK:

Hard Boiled: Seeing this depresses me. Not because it's a bad movie. On the contrary: it's one of the greatest action movies ever. What depresses me is that John Woo left Hong Kong only to make Hollywood dreck. Before action movies had to be nothing but quick action and quick cuts, you have men like John Woo combining Douglas Sirk melodrama with the slow-motion violence of Peckinpah to turn the shoot-out into a bloody ballet. Chow-Yun Fat and Tony Leung not only add great acting to the film, but can pull off the whole genre well. See how they can handle minute long shots of them running through hospital corridors, timing their shots perfectly while they choreograph their way around.

THAT IT!:

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MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Don't smoke around dry brush. I saw some idiot doing it on a hiking trail last Thursday. Things like this start the fires that turn our humble hiking trails into a state of emergency.

New Releases for August 25th or Let's Get It Over With!

2009-08-25T20:11:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to do an intro this week. Let's just get to the nitty-gritty.

NEW RELEASES

Adventureland: Remember Lou Reed, jeans, and carnivals? I sure do! And this film does too! Relive those awkward pre-adulthood nights where you can't finish a sentence with a single breath and where each person you know is an outcast (then again, if everyone is an outcast, can they truly be considered outcasts?). Also, this film keeps pounding into your head reminding you that it takes place in the eighties! Gee golly whiz!

Fighting: The title pretty much describes this film. I don't condone fighting. I'm a pacifist. But I condone this film because it has Luiz Guzman. Remember when he blows up in Traffic? Those were good times, huh?

Rudo y Cursi: Like quirky indie comedies but get tired of hearing them in English? Well, now our neighbors down in ol' Mexico have caught the quirky bug. Alfonso Cuaron's baby brother makes this quirky comedy about two bothers and their quirks while they try to become big time quirky soccer players. This movie is quirky and quirky quirky quirky with a great quirk. You quirk what I mean?

Sunshine Cleaning: Thought I was done saying quirky and starting my descriptions with questions, didn't ya? Huh!? Well, guess what? Leah Rozen of People® magazine describes this film as "colorful refreshingly quirky comic drama". Quirky. QUIRKY! Bleech! Anyways, the cover made me think this movie is about furniture moves, but it's in fact about two women who clean up crime scenes. If you like blood, blond women, and quirkyness, this film is for you! Interesting fact I learned about recently though: Alan Arkin (who's a supporting actor in this) graduated from my old high school. Cool stuff!

Thirtysomething S.1: I want to say I remember this show, but all I remember is when I was a kid, I'd get upset when they would have reruns of this instead of reruns of The Wonder Years. Man, now The Wonder Years! That was a great show! How many guys here had a crush on Winnie Cooper. Come on. We know we all did. That needs to be on DVD instead.

OTHER NEW RELEASES AND NEW INVENTORY:

Adventureland (Blu)
American Son
A Bitter Sweet Life
Bocelli/Under the Desert Sky
Californication S2
The Chaser
Death Note/Change the World
Duplicity (Blu)
The Fish Fall in Love
Goodbye Solo
House MD S5
Invisible Girlfriend
The Informers
The Ipcress File (Blu)
Jeanne Dielman, 21 quai du Commerce 1080 Bruxelles (Criterion)
Jonas Mekas Walden Collection
Just for Laughs/Over the Edge (Lewis Black, Jim Gaffigan and more)
The Last Days of Disco (Criterion)
New Trick S1
Patton Oswalt/My Weakness is Strong
Rudo y Cursi (Blu)
Screwballs
Shibuya Angel
Sunshine Cleaning (Blu)
Trouble the Water
We're Going to Eat You

BLOG PICK O' THE WEEK:

Husbands: I actually forgot to include this in last weeks blog as it came out last week! Well, Cassavetes' finest film is finally out on DVD in the original cut feature all the Peter Falk throwing-up and farting you can handle! I've seen a lot of films about male bonding (in a strickly platonic sense of course) and despite the fact the characters are twice my age, it's the most realistic vision I've seen of this. To top it off, this movie has a perfect ending where life and duties are reaffirmed as the friends return from their break from adulthood. Excellent performances all around from Ben Gazzara, Peter Falk and the director himself.

NEW EMPLOYEE PICKS AND RECOMMENDED:

So the last few weeks, I've forgotten to do this. I'll do it for now. Let's see what we have up

R.I.P. John Hughes: The creator of so many great memories and times may have passed on, but his spirit will always live in the enclosed space of these Digital Versatile Discs. Remember the enjoyment he brought you with teen classics like The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Some Kind of Wonderful.

Inglorious Basterds: Tarantino stuffs his movies with references to cinema past. His newest film has a heap of Leone with a spoonful of Don Siegel spiced with Truffaut's The Last Metro and Fassbinder's BRD trilogy. Rent some of these films and see where Tarantino got the inspiration to make his newest action picture. Right next to these, we're keeping a small section dedicated to the films Tarantino. Now it's the best time to reunite with Mr. Pink, The Wolf, Stuntman Mike, Ordell and Beatrix Kiddo.

Mario Z's Here's to Your Health: Mr. Mario may be working here less and less due to his non stop learning of the medical field, but his section keeps his spirit alive. To make you feel more comfortable next time he gives you a shot or assist you during your next surgery, he put out some films that'll fix your irregularly beating heart like The Hospital, M*A*S*H, and Critical Care.

Gracie G's Face: I don't mean her actual face. I mean her section is titled "Face". Here you're bound to find tons of movies with the ancient art of face replacement surgery or people without a face. Some face-less wonders here include Seconds, The Face of an Other and Eyes Without a Face.

Mark A's Daja Vu DVD (Same Cover, Different Movie): Working here for a while now, Mark has been noticing a trend of laziness when it comes to designing DVD covers. In fact, he grabbed all the ones that looked too similar and put them in one section. See how Problem Child and Parenthood have almost identical covers and how crouch-shots are now over used as a DVD cover.

Ronny D is working on a section. I'll report on it when it's up.

NADA MAS!:
Thank you again for reading this.

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I took this photo back in April, but I thought now it's the best time to share it. By the way, that isn't rain. It's hail.

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Don't drink orange juice after milk. It turns the inside of your stomach into a an atomic test site.

New Releases for August 18th, or the good ship Vidéothèque sails to bluer waters!

2009-08-17T17:41:00.000-07:00

click on this flyer for larger view!

NEW RELEASES:

Gomorrah: I like the mob. I was actually involved in the mob until they cut off my thumbs. Now it's a bit more difficult for me to type because I can no longer hit the space bar with my thumb. Well, anywhoooo, if you're tired of goofy mafia movies like The Departed, here's the real deal! Guns, women, drugs, prostitution, corrupted officials, you name it. I'm going to assume that all these things are in the movie based on the cover alone! Jeez, I want to see this! You should come and rent it and invite me over to your place. I'd love to see it!

The Garden: We all should know that L.A. county government is pretty corrupt, but for those who hate picking up newspapers, we just got this documentary about the destruction of the South Central Garden. Watch how most people didn't care about the garden until they were going to tear it down and about how contractors squander millions of dollars. Also, it has my hero Zach De La Rocha rap about things I don't understand. So I don't know much about him, but I know that he really, REALLY likes Glengarry Glenross so much in fact that he owns his own copy. He's a pretty cool dude.

Surveillance: See the baby from Eraserhead direct her second film. I don't know much about this, but maaaaan has Bill Pullman aged! Makes me feel all depressed like inside.

Tyson: I thought this was going to be a delicious documentary on Tyson® brand chicken nuggets, but it turned out to be about Mike Tyson. What a shame. You can't eat Mike Tyson! And c'mon, Mike Tyson is nowhere near as controversial as Tyson®. Just compare their respective Wikipedia articles! C'mon James Toback! Stay with the times! Mike Tyson is sooooo 1998...

OTHER NEW RELEASES AND NEW INVENTORY:

Apres Lui (France, w/C. Deneuve)
Arizona Colt Returns
Che Part.2
Cloud 9 (Germany)
Dexter S.3
Eagles Over London
Fear[s] of the Dark (animation)
Full Grown Man (American Indie)
Gandhi (Blu-Ray)
Gossip Girl S.2
Hansel & Gretel (Korea)
Harvard Beats Yale 29-29
Hazard
Hello Goodbye (France, w/F. Ardant, G. Depardieu)
Inventing Cuisine series
Island of the Fishman
Kagemusha (Blu-Ray)
Moscow Belgium (Belgium)
Parlez-Moi de la Pluie (Let it Rain) (France, dir. Agnès Jaoui)
Partners in Crime (France, w/André Dusollier)
Playtime (Blu-Ray) (!)
Somers Town (UK, dir. Shane Meadows "This is England")

BLOG PICK OF THE WEEK:

So I decided to try out this new thing on the blog. I'm going to pick one movie I saw during the week and talk about why you should see it. Why? Because I love you and want you to see it.

The 36th Chamber of Shaolin: I'm not sure how many Los Angeles natives read this blog, but when I was a kid, KTLA use to play either classic kung-fu movies or Three Stooges shorts all night. I'd get a bowl of late night Froot-Loops, sit in front of the TV with my jammies and watch these all night with my pop. Recently, I saw "Shaolin Soccer" and thought it was a blast. The film influenced me to get in touch with my kung-fu loving roots and decided to start with this Shaw Brothers classic. Everything from the soundtrack, acting, sound effects, and cinematography sold me on this film. Gordon Liu (now famous for his double roles in Kill Bill) plays a student who has everyone that he loves slaughtered cruelly by corrupt government officials (Is this a bit of anti-cultural revolution commentary?). He decides that brains aren't enough and wants to learn the ways of kung-fu to smite his foes. Special features are pretty nice with a commentary by Wu-Tang Clansmen, the RZA. Yes, it's not high art and doesn't question our mortality like Bergman or criticize contemporary society like Fellini, but if you like ol' fashioned choreographed fighting and awesome stunts, then this one hits the spot!

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MORAL OF THE WEEK:
If you're a carnivore (such as myself), don't buy Tyson® brand products. Not only do they taste bad, but it hurts the farming industry and is sending us back to the days of The Jungle! You want that!? Huh!? I didn't think so, pal!

New Releases for August 11th, or C'mmon Baby!

2009-08-12T19:41:00.000-07:00

So my ex has put a restraining order on me. Apparently she thinks I was stalking her! Can't it just be a coincidence that we both shop at the same market at the same time, get our prescriptions at the same pharmacy every Tuesday between 8:05-8:17 and get our nails done at the same place.

The nerve of some people! She didn't appreciate my gifts! I sent her dead skin flakes, hair I shaved off my face and my toe nail clippings. I mean seriously, what does she want!? I've always been told the best gifts are the ones you make yourself. My body made these to send to her!

In my last letter I sent her, I told her that she needs to lighten up. It's the 21st century. Her prude, crude mood doesn't fly now. Maybe if I didn't love her so much and maybe she didn't dump me for a guy with a better car I would leave her alone.

So, Marilyn, if you're reading this I want you to know that you're a horrible person and you're going to suffer courtesy of my good friend karma! Just because I can't afford a Prius doesn't mean you should've left me! We even talked about maybe getting married and starting a family, but no. NO! You do this to me. Look what you've done to me. I haven't left my apartment in a week. I'm too lazy sometimes to even use the restroom and my hair is full of grease. So please, Marilyn, baby, know that I love you and that we can start again! PLEASE!

Now let's move on to me criticizing movies I haven't seen.

NEW RELEASES:

17 Again: Wait, this has Zac Effron and Matthew Perry? I think I'll pass on this.

The Class: Someone told me that this is NOT a French version of Stand & Deliver. That's a shame because I really love Stand & Deliver. Edward James Olmos is my main man. Oh, and to you fancy types this film won the Palme D'or at Canned (I don't know what that means though. I failed French 1 three times).

Gigantic: Everyone described this movie as being quirky. I refuse to see anything that has to use the word quirky over and over again. Mark Mothersbaugh of Devo run his own recording studio and apparently anyone who use the word quirky to describe something, they have to put a dollar in a jar that later goes to buying pizza.

I Love You, Man: Judd Apatow's latest man-child comedy comes to us with my friend's seal of approval. If it's good enough for him, it must be good for all of us, right?

MORE NEW RELEASES PLUS NEW INVENTORY:

Anita O' Day: Life of Jazz Singer
Arizona Colt Returns
Blue Steel
Bukowski: The Last Straw
The Class (Blu)
Do the Right Thing (Blu)
Eagles Over London
Final Countdown
Full Grown Men
Invitation
Island of the Fishmen
Paris 36
Payment on Demand (Bette Davis, from Warner Archive)
Roselyne and the Lions (Dir: JJ Beineix)
The Valachi Papers

JEEZ!:

Right now, our roof is leaking as a result of negligence from one of the tenants who lives upstairs. If you come in and you see a giant blue tarp cover up part of France and Australia, you'll know why.

I wonder what's the big news? Oh well! Guess you're just going to have to come here and show up.

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
If you have tenants living below you, please don't ignore the fact that your toilet has been flooding. You're neighbors downstairs will hate you and want to see your head placed on a pike.

New Releases for August 4th, or HERE COMES THE BIG NEWS!

2009-08-05T16:29:00.000-07:00

Here's the big news I wanted to share: I'M PREGNANT!

Ever since I was a little boy, there was nothing more I wanted than to become a mother, and today it was confirmed.

Dr. Jamal told me that the baby is about at the 3 month point and that it's a little girl. Recently, I went to Bellini and bought tons of beautiful equipment for my baby. I thought it could really use some beautiful and luxurious baby items from Italy to make him feel like an authentic Italian baby!

Six months from now, I'll tell you if the baby hype was worth it. Hopefully it is because this little sucker inside of me wants to break free and start livin'.

NOTICE: This isn't really the big news I want to share. Scroll down for more details.

NEW RELEASES:

Flight of the Conchords S.2: Everyone tells me to watch this and just to prove a point, I'm never going to watch this! That's how I roll.

Harvard Beats Yale 29-29: This should make a documentary about a real incident: THE HEIDI GAME!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heidi_Game

Five bucks sez it'll be awesomer than this one. You'll get to hear a bunch of drunken Raiders fans talking about how pissed they were instead of hearing the ivy league Yalie talk about how his monocle popped out in disgust of the game's score.

The Mysteries of Pittsburgh: Since yesterday, I've noticed that our new release board in the store has the name Pittsburgh with only one "t". Not only that, but our entry of this film in our database is missing an "h" at the end of Pittsburgh. I'm going to see how long it takes for someone to notice! *snicker snicker*

Obsessed: Whoever photoshopped this cover is obsessed with the female posterior as he makes a point to have it stick out more than naturally. I like the cover artist's style!

Race to Witch Mountain: Growing up, I never liked the live action Disney films. I thought they were always too cheesy and too wholesome. It never felt right. Now Disney has the right idea by putting my hero The Rock up against aliens! HECK YEAH!

The Soloist: I'm not going to try talking about this film. Just from the cover I know it's going to be an unending suckfest. Not even Robert Downey Jr. can save this baby stuck in a burning building. Oh! With this one, I've come to the realization that I never watch the new releases but pass judgment on them anyways. For shame on me!

OTHER NEW RELEASES PLUS NEW INVENTORY:

All About Anna
The Astonishing Work of Tezuka Osamu (The creator of Astro Boy)
Big Trouble in Little China (Blu)
Eyes on the Prize (Hard to find PBS documentary series on the history of Blacks in America)
Icons of Screwball Comedies
Jim Brewer/Let's Clear The Air
Lookin' to Get Out!
Micheal Jackson/Live in Japan (He may be dead, but we'll always have the memories on this plastic disc)
Neil Hamburger/Western Music & Variety
Mutant Chronicles
Project Runway S.5
Riff-Raff (Region 2)
A River of Waste (One of the dozen yearly documentaries on the food industry)
Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! S.3
Ulysses (54)
Up the Junction (Region 2)

STILL CAN'T GIVE THE NEWS I PROMISED TWO WEEKS AGO:

It's killing me! I want to share it with the world, but the powers that be still won't let me. Trust me though! You guys will be the first to find out. Chances are the BIG MAN himself (a.k.a. My boss) will put up the news himself on this here blog. Why? Because he's just that damn excited about it!

I'M KAPUT!:

Bye-bye.

www.vidtheque.com
vidtheque.blogspot.com

We don't believe in fancy schmancy stuff like security systems. Instead we have our clerks trained by Mossad in order to kill intruders with our bare hands. Here's RV demonstrating his power.

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Throughly wash your hands after handling money. Money is pretty filthy, but oh how I love it!

New Releases for July 28th, or Nappy Time!

2009-07-28T21:55:00.000-07:00

I know. I know. I know. I said I had big news for this week, but the powers that be told me I might have to delay the news an other week. It breaks my heart too.

It's been a lazy and slow week at the Vidyatheque. Nothing too spectacular. This is pretty evident in our lack of exciting new releases. But hey! Look on the bright side: now it's the perfect time to watch an older film you've never seen.

I just ate a big lunch with a couple of beers and I'm ready to take a nap. Before I crawl into a fetal position and take a cat nap, let's look at this week's new releases.

NEW RELEASES:

Battlestar Galactica S. 4.5: Battlestar Galactica use to be for the pathetically proud pocket-protector peons who prided themselves on their knowledge of Dr. Who and Monty Python. Now everyone is plum loco over this show. It has my homeboy Edward "Stand and Deliver" Olmos, so I'll get around to watching it some day. For the rest of you rent it now. Now! NOW!!!

Big Man Japan: I don't know what this movie is or what a "Japan" is, but the back cover disgusts and horrorfies me on all sorts of levels.

Fast & Furious: There was someone who use to work here that would watch a film just because it had his homegirl Michelle Williams. By default, this movie is going to be great in his eyes. I would take his advice because this former co-worked of mine was one cool cat.

OTHER NEW RELEASES:

Alice's House
Ballerina
Bart Got a Room
Bomb It (Graffiti Art)
Carmen & Geoffrey
Chandhi Chowk to China
Close Encounters of the Third Kind (Blu)
Death Becomes Her
Fast & Furious (Blu)
Female Vampires
Garrison Keillor: The Man on the Radio in the Red Shoes (Take a trip to Lake Wobegon)
The Inglorious Bastards (Blu) (See where Tarantino took the name "The Inglorious BASTERDS" from!)
Made in USA (Criterion)
Ma Saison Super 8
Michael Jackson/Live in Japan
Pushing Daisies S.2
Rogopag (Godard, Pasolini, Rossellini, and Grogoretti get together for this four part directors showcase)
This is Spinal Tap (Blu)
Two or Three Things I Know About Her (Criterion)
The Union

THIS CONCLUDES OUR WEEK:

Now here are the links 'n' such. Now here comes Mr. Sandman ready to take me away on the nappy time express. Bye bye.
www.vidtheque.com
vidtheque.blogspot.com

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Zzzzzzzzzzzz...

New Releases for July 21st, or One Year Older.

2009-07-20T16:53:00.000-07:00

Next week is my birthday. It's pretty amazing I've been alive for this long. I've been through dozens of nuclear threats, terrorism, depressions, angry girlfriends, stomach problems, drunken fights, disgruntled coworkers, car accidents and cyber-terroism. So, to sum it all down to one phrase: feels good, man.

I'm going to celebrate the anniversary of my birth by writing this weeks blog.

This weeks blog is dedicated to me. Happy Birthday me!

NEW RELEASES: Coraline: It's nice to know that the world of animation is completely dominated by the CGI worlds of Dreamworks, Pixar, Disney and Fox. What we get is an old fashioned stop-motion animated film with excellent character designs, fun story and a scene of neat fog effects. Don't forget, Fantastic Mr. Fox is coming out later this year too, so it's a good year for stop-motion enthusiasts!

The Great Buck Howard: I don't know what this film is about or who Buck Howard is or what a "mentalist" is, but this movie gets my seal of approval for putting Ricky Jay on the cover. Actually, he's in The Brothers Bloom which I didn't really care for. Scratch that! I remove my seal from this film!

The Might Boosh: I really thought they would've stop making Bush documentaries half a year since they gave him the ol' boot, but here we are! This one doesn't look like your typical one though. This has a lot of men in drag and bright colors. It probably focuses on his cocaine years in the seventies where his focus was on getting high and listening to prog rock all day.

Sherman's Way: A sequel to the ever-popular documentary "Sherman's March".

Watchmen: I haven't seen this film because when it was released in theaters, Watchmen creator Alan Moore (who removed his name from the credits) said that he would "spit venom all over it". I don't have a death wish so I'll hold off on watching this until Alan Moore is at a range to not spit on me.

OTHER NEW RELEASES/NEW INVENTORY:

Burning the Future
Che Part.2: The Argentine (Part 2 comes out next month!)
Confessions of a Shopaholic (Blu-Ray)
Coraline (Blu-Ray)
The Drummer
Filth and Wisdom
Jonas Brothers: The Concert Experience
Killshot (Mickey Rourke's much delayed action film)
Mia and the Migoo
Michel Gondry 2 More Videos (including his Rubik's Cube epic)
The Midnight Special: Live in 1976
My Dinner with Jimi
One Week
On the Road with Judas
Pretty Woman (Blu-Ray)
The Ring Finger
Robot Chicken: Star Wars II
Unknown Woman
Watchmen (Blu-Ray)
Wolverine and the X-Men

THAT'S IT!:
We have big news (or I think it's big news), but we're saving it for next week perhaps. Is it Earth shattering? I like to think so. Stay tuned next week!
www.vidtheque.com
vidtheque.blogspot.com

Working is the only way to keep cool.

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Tip your waiter. ALWAYS.

Also, is it me, or are these not really morals anymore?

New Releases for July 14th, or My Arm is Dislocated!

2009-07-15T13:45:00.000-07:00

I'm writing this blog away from Videotheque this week. In fact, I'm not even in California. I'm in a hospital in the Philippines.

I've gotten severely depressed with my law and relationship problems back in the states, so I went to Hong Kong (don't ask why) and gorged myself with non-stop partying, eating, and substance abuse of all kinds.

After a few days, I found myself on a freight-ship heading toward Japan. I was told I've been sold into cheap slave labor and was being forced to work for a fish manufacturing company (this one specialized in Bonito).

After a few days of grueling labor with nothing to eat but rice so watery that it was almost like soup, I ran away from the factory. I kept running and running until my legs couldn't handle the pressure anymore. I ended up passing out in front of a judo dojo. The dojo's sensei, Master Nakagawa, took me in, gave me some water and food to restore my energy. I told him nothing less than I owe my life to him. He decided to take me under his wing and train me like I was his own son.

Now, I'm in the Philippines working my way to the top tier in a judo championship. Things were going great until I dislocated my right arm. I'll give you guys the 411 with how things are going next week, so stay logged on and keep on keepin' on (whatever that means).

NEW RELEASES:

Edge of Love: This movie is about the poet Dave Thomas and how he quit making poetry, fell in love with two women and created a famous fast food restaurant out of nothing.

Grey Gardens: I feel tremendous amounts of guilt for saying I've never seen the classic version and now I will feel more amounts of guilt for saying I refuse to see this one because I haven't seen the original. Does that make sense? Anyways, do you like senile old ladies and funny hats? Then this rental is right up your alley!

Hauting in Conneticut: The cover has some kid throwing up something gnarly. He must've just came back from Tommy's and ate one of those chili tamales. I know how that kid feels.

Man Men S.2: You must be MAD if you're not renting this one! Hahahaha! See what I did right there!? That's called a pun! So, where were we? Ah, yes! The Mad Men! With this, continue the story of ad men and their busty secretaries and catch on the craze the rest of American caught onto a year ago.

The State: Remember when MTV wouldn't air reality shows about teens and their problems? I don't. I'm only ten. For those older than me, get on board the nostalgia train and rent The State and enjoy the memories of your youth.

Welcome to Macintosh: Hahaha! Screw you Macintosh! I write this blog from a PC! What are you going to do about it, huh? Are you going to make a documentary about that? Let's just see you try!

OTHER NEW RELEASES AND NEW INVENTORY:

12
Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves
Anthony Bourdain/No Reservations S.4
Body Heat (Blu)
Eyes Wide Shut (Blu)
Futurama: Bender's Game
Hamburger Hill
The Howl/L'Urlo
Mad Men S.2 (Blu)
M'Enage/Evening Dress
The Midnight Special
Midsomer Murders
Nursery University
Sleepy Eyes of Death Quadrology
Trail of the Lonesome Pine
Wild Side (95) (Lesbian drama with a Christopher Walken touch)
Wire in the Blood S.6
Young & Handsome (Jeff Garlin standup)

WELL THERE'S NO MORE NEWS OR UPDATES:

Is that a good thing or bad? There's that old saying that no news is good news, but that just seems like a cop-out of an answer!

Well, bye-bye now!
www.vidtheque.com
vidtheque.blogspot.com

Shirts are colorful!

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Don't ask people if they hate you. They'll hate you for asking that question.

New Releases for July 7th, or I Gotta Go!

2009-07-07T15:26:00.000-07:00

The police are at my door today, so I don't really have time to chat or go into details in this weeks blog.

All my reviews are going to be only one-sentence each. It helps that there aren't so many new releases this week., too.

Okay! I got to hurry, I'm not sure how long my door can handle a battering ram!

NEW RELEASES:

Knowing: Knowing is half the battle and I still know Nicholas Cage is balding at a rapid rate.

Push: When push comes to shove, Hollywood makes cheesy thrillers with guns and magic or some junk.

The Unborn: This film was funded by the Planed Parenthood Federation of America.

OTHER NEW RELEASES AND NEW INVENTORY:
John Barrymore collection including The Tempest, Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde, Sherlock Holmes and The Beloved Rogue
Brotherhood S.1
Homicide - Life on the Streets S.3
Le Jupon Rouge
Lonely Are the Brave (Kurt Douglas and Gena Rowlands)
Major League
Out City Dreams
Penguins of Madagascar
Punk in England
Punk in London
Reno 911! S.6
The Russia House
Sahara (original with Humphrey Bogart)
Teddy Bear (Mis) (Polish comedy)
Under Fire

BYE:

Bye
www.vidtheque.com
vidtheque.blogspot.com

A cockroach stole my camera and decided to take a photo with it. That diabolical demon!

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Don't do the crime if you can't do the crime.

New Releases for June 30th, or A Week in the News

2009-06-30T18:26:00.000-07:00

Man, oh man. Gee golly. Holy mackarel. Last week was a week for news, huh?

Oh! You say you don't read the paper or watch television and that you'd prefer to rent DVD's and Blu-Rays? That's great! It means we make a profit and I get to keep my job! Well, for you movie watching types, let me fill you in on the happenings of the week:

Madness in Iran: When a rigged election happens in the US, a bunch of second rate filmmakers make documentaries about how bad Bush is. When a rigged election happens in Iran, innocent people go protest, get shot and have their death video uploaded on YouTube.

North Korea and the Nukes: North Korea, always ready to brag about their non-existent supremacy over all other East Asian countries, is claiming that if the UN inspects their ships the UN believes they are loaded with nuclear missles, Kim Jong Il will take it as a declaration of war. I think we should try to reach some agreement where no one gets nuked and Kim Jong Il continues to have a healthy supply of old lady sunglasses before the world becomes "Gravity's Rainbow".

The Death of Ed McMahon: I'll remember him always courtesy of Phil Hartman's great imitation. I just remember his character always being drunk and always yelling "You are correct, sir!".

The Death of Farrah Fawcett: Suddenly, I feel very dirty having her poster still pinned up next to my bed.

The Death of Michael Jackson: Unless he was accused of molestation, nobody really cared about him since the early nineties. Now suddenly he's dead, everyone's a fan. Amazon sold out of his albums within fifteen minutes of the new. No respect for the dead, huh?

The Death of Billy Mays: All the chubby, bearded men of America are convening at Billy Mays' star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The wait in line is four hours. His star is also the shiniest in the whole street courtesey of OxiClean. "Stains? What stains?". Rest in piece ol' buddy.

NEW RELEASES:
So, let's forget about the horrors of the world. Instead let's look at this week's new releases:

Kaidan: I don't know anything about foreign cultures or other languages, but I do know that "kaidan" means ghost story. If you like ghost stories I would watch this, but for the weak hearted or weak bladdered, I don't reccomend it.

Tokyo!: This movie is not called "Tokyo". It's called "Tokyo!". My main men Gondry, Carax, and that guy who made "The Host" all have their own idea of how Tokyo is! Also, it's a film about women turning into chairs and people ordering pizza and not about Japan's unstable economic situation, their increasing low birth rate and the many social issues. Sounds fun!

Two Lovers: A customer whose judgement I trust said that this film was "excellent, but very dark". A relationship movie that's "dark"? Sounds awesome! I'm getting tired of these "Bride Wars" and "Made of Honor" and "Father of the Bride" type films. Where's the movie for the person whose relationships never work out, huh!? This sounds like it may be it.

OTHER NEW RELEASES/NEW ARRIVALS:

28 Days
Absolute Power (Clint Eastwood)
Entourage S.5
Inspector Gadget 1&2 (The live-action version)
Picking Up the Pieces
Prefontaine
Punk in England
RIP! (doc.)
Robot Chicken S.3
Secret Diary of a Call Girl S.2
A Song of Innocence

FOURTH OF JULY:

Before you get full of meat and beer and then accidentally hurt yourself with fireworks you bought in Tijuana, know that Videotheque will be open, but ONLY UNTIL 8 PM. We also want to get full of meat (except the Vegetarians) and beer and then accidentally hurt ourselves, too!

ADIEU:

See you next week!
www.vidtheque.com
vidtheque.blogspot.com

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Please don't use illegal fireworks. True story: 4th of July, 1992, my father (completely sober mind you) was lighting illegal fireworks and accidentally held one too long. It ended up popping in his hand. He suffered some minor burns and instead of going to a hospital, he just put ice and water on it instead. He was lucky enough not to blow off a finger.

Our collage of photos while a customer shops on.

New Releases for June 22nd, or All Summer Long!

2009-06-24T16:40:00.000-07:00

You feel that?

Huh....

You don't? Well, it's the summer heat and it's here to torture us for the next few months. We're feelin' it, that's fo' sho. All the kids and teens are coming in earlier now that school is done. Maybe you should come by too.

So grab you lady or man, a glass of lemonade, a pair of trunks or a bikini and a beach chair and chill out in our perfectly air conditioned store. Rent something while your at it too!

NEW RELEASES:

Confessions of the Shopaholic: I was a really bad shopaholic, but just had to go cold turkey. After some heavy withdrawals and minor freaking out, I was cured. Still... everytime I step into a shopping mall, I get really bad shakes. I just have to be strong and take it one day at a time. Be strong. Be strong.

Last Year at Marienbad: I wish I could say what this film was about, but I'm not sure if I completely understood it. You should rent it and pretend you knew what it was all about just to impress me. Then again, I'm a nobody. Why would you want to impress li'l ol' me?

My Dinner with Andre: It's strange to think a movie that's totally dependent on dialougue could've existed. Anyways, while watching this, I kept remembering the MDWA action figues from "Waiting for Guffman" and the MDWA video game from The Simpsons where the options are "Bon Mot", "Trenchant Insight", and "Tell Me More" (all phrases never uttered in the film).

Pink Panther 2: Wait? Peter Sellers isn't doing these anymore? Wait!? He's dead!?

Tom and Jerry: The Chuck Jones Collection: I don't like the cat's face (is he Tom or Jerry?). It prevents me from being able to enjoy this DVD.

Waltz with Bashir: I was ready to get down and boogie with this film. Turned out it had nothing to do with dancing. It's about war in the middle east! You can't dance to that (and lord knows I've tried). What a jib!

OTHER NEW RELEASES/RECENT ARRIVALS:

Air Force One (The president of the USA fights terroists)
The Banana Splits complete series (Re-live those Saturday mornings)
The Bronx is Burning (Baseball drama)
Crawford (Bush is gone, but we still get docs about him)
Danielson: A Family Movie (music by Danielson Famile and Sufjan Stevens)
Danny Gans at the Mirage
Dillinger (73) (Prepare for next month's "Public Enemies")
Harry Potter series on Blu-Ray
Iron Maiden/Flight 666 (the number of the beast)
I Can't Belive I'm Still Single (doc about his lonely adventures)
Louise Bourgeois: The Spider, the Mistress, and the Tangerine (doc on title artist)
Problem Child (John Ritter comedy)
Tomcats

REC SECTS:

So, the signs aren't up yet, but the clerks couldn't wait and decided to put their sections up early. They were promptly terminated.

Mark A's "Celebrate the Independence of American with Explosions!": Mark A. loves this country so much, he's blowing up a small portion of it (with fireworks I hope). Before the feds arrest him at his country cabin and confiscate this section as evidence, you should rent some of the films with big explosions here including "The Rock", "The Bridge on the River Kwai", and the always appropriate "Independence Day".

Martina M.'s "Deep Blue I want to Give it All to You": Do you like blue movies (the non-pornographic kind) like "Blue", "Deep Blue", "I Am Curious: Blue", and "La Blue Girl"? Okay. Some of those have some racey scenes, but still, do you like these movies or any movies with the word "blue" in the title? Then come in and check this section out and take some of the babies home.

CATCH YOU ON THE FLIP SIDE:

Adios mujures y muchachos!

www.vidtheque.com
vidtheque.blogspot.com

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Please don't leave you pets or loved ones in the car with the windows rolled up, especially in this heat.

Getting water to stay cool!

2009-06-16T19:56:00.000-07:00

We live in Southern California, a land of people more wealthy and famous that myself! I think it's human nature to be obsessed with these people and to interact with them. Here are some of my favorite encounters:

Steve Buscemi: He was jogging across the street from my house. I ran outside in my soiled bathrobe and tackled him straight to the ground! I told him "Hey! You're Mr. Pink!". He said "Yeah" and gave me a cock-eyed stare. I told him he was pretty cool and then he continued merrily jogging away. About a week later, his attorney sent me a letter saying I was getting sued for permanent damage done to Mr. Buscemi's spinal cord due to my tackling. All and all, a nice guy!

Gérard Depardieu: He was eating some Chicken McNuggets at the McDonald's in downtown. I thought about how the little McNuggets look like peas in comparison to his massive hands. Okay, I really didn't think that, I actually said it out loud. He said thank you and that he was proud of his mighty hands and then he hand fed me a McNugget as thanks. It truly was the mightiest McNugget I've ever eaten.

David Byrne: There he was in the flesh buying a freshly made suit at the big and tall store. He was getting one of those giant suits from "Stop Making Sense" as part of his show. Then I realized I was buying the same suit and even then it was a bit too tight. Suddenly, a great depression came over me and I had to leave the store. He was the meanest celebrity I ran into.

Mark Ruffalo: Fresh off "The Brothers Bloom", he was impressing some ladies with the magic tricks he learned for his role inside a booth at the Congo Room. I asked him to do a trick for me and he asked for my wallet. as part of the trick. Just like that, he made my wallet disappear. Wow! I then asked for my wallet back, but all he said was "What wallet?". He wasn't as nice as he is in the movies.

Chow Yun-Fat: I ran into Chow Yun-Fat in the line at Whole Foods. He was buying some falafel with spicy tahini sauce. This was my first real celebrity encounter, so out of nervousness, I asked him "Sooooo... you must like food, huh?" Without a thought of hesitation, he drop kicked me so hard in the chest, he broke two ribs and stopped my heart for a few minutes. He was nice enough to give me a free pass to see Red Cliff though! That's an interview I'll never forget!

NEW RELEASES:

Bergman Island (included with "The Seventh Seal"): This sounds like a good title for a Bergman themed reality show where people have to stay on an island for thirty days while their marriage disintegrates, their questioning of God arrives, and they have to stay very stoic and stone faced. Instead, we get this pretty cool documentary about Mr. Bergman at the sunset of his life.

Madea Goes To Jail: While Madea goes to jail, Tyler Perry goes straight to the bank to deposit all the millions upon millions of dollars he's made off of controlling all the main media outlets including television, movies, legitimate theater, and books. He's back as the angry and crazy black woman he's been in the last few movies, but someone finally caught on that her craziness may be a potential threat against human life so they put her in jail. They would've stuck her in the nut house, but Reagan shut all of those down in the eighties.

Scott Walker: 30 Century Man: I thought I've seen all the movies where prominent musicians tell others to punch meat, but it turned out I was wrong. See Brian Eno, David Bowie, Jarvis Cocker and others look generally enthusiastic while listening to Mr. Walker's music, too.

The Seventh Seal: I know what you're thinking! You're thinking "But Videotheque has had this movie for the longest!". Well, they (and by "they", I mean Criterion) decided their ten year old edition of the DVD was old and passe. They needed to freshen it up with a new transfer, a documentary, prettier artwork, and a Blu-Ray edition to boot.

What Goes Up: I'm going to say rent this because the person who wrote and directed is a very nice customer who comes in here. Please rent it; he'd appreciate it! (Editor's note: the local connection notwithstanding, it's great!-- Steve Coogan as big city journalist in small-town New Hampshire burg,1986-- at his witty best. Check it out!)

OTHER NEW RELEASES/NEW ARRIVALS:
Addicted to Plastic (doc)
The Bronx is Burning
Cherry Blossoms (Germany/Japan)
Crips and Bloods: Made In America (doc. by Stacy Peralta)
Crying Fist (S. Korea-- boxing/action!)
Danielson: A Family Movie (doc.)
Death Note (Japan)
Death Note II (ditto)
Derby (roller derby doc.)
Dr. Strangelove (Blu-Ray)
Favela Rising (Brazil doc.)
First Wives Club
Friday the 13th (2009)
GFE: Girlfriend Experience
Harry Potter Series (Blu-Ray)
Let's Make Money (banking industry doc.)
My Unlucky Satrs (France, with C. Deneuve)
Seraphine (France, César winner 2008-- France's Best Picture!)
The Seventh Seal (Blu-Ray)
Summer Rain (Spain, dir. A. Banderas)
Swing (dir. Tony Gatlif)
Waiting for Someone (France)
Welcome Home (Spain)
The Window (Argentina/Spain)
Wizard of Gore (Crispin Glover remake)

SO LONG, FOOLIOS:

Hope you read me again next week.

www.vidtheque.com

This is my point of view everyday at work. Now you know how it feels like to work at Videotheque!

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Don't preach about the glories of eating healthing while eating a cheeseburger. It just makes you look crazy.

New Releases for June 9th, or File This One Under D'aaaahhh"!

2009-06-09T17:10:00.000-07:00

I did my good deed for the year. Saturday evening, I was walking to a friend's house for a night of steady chugalugging and good laughs with the ol' gang. About a block away from where he lives, I find this little kitten on the edge of a fence. From where it was, it was very close to falling about four feet straight onto concrete. I couldn't allow this to happen, so I grabbed the little puff and took him to my friends house. He was meowing the whole way (no doubt scared) and clinged on carefully to my shirt. I put him outside the grass outside my friend's place and fed him.
He quickly munches through his tablespoon of sponged meat. Afterwards, my friend drove me to my house to let him cool off. He promptly went on top of my cable box to warm up. I forgot about the cat the rest of the night and went back to my friends.

I got home around 1a.m. and at that point he had moved to the sofa to sleep. I grabbed my futon, rolled it out and got ready to sleep. What happens is that the little kitten comes up, demands attention, and then proceed to fall asleep by my head. Then my cat shows up from outside and is shocked to see this little thing sleeping by me. He starts to get real angry and violent.

And this point, I knew I had to give up the little guy. I forgot how territorial cats get and amidst the excitement and prospect of having a new cat, I didn't consider how my cat would feel.

I put an ad on Craig's List saying how this cat needs a person with a big heart and infinite amounts of love to bask upon this critter. No more than an hour later, I get a call from someone who's girlfriend wants the cat. They pick up the little guy, I bid farewell to the kitten and head on my way.

I got a bit nostalgic for the one day I spent my new buddy, but in the end, he's with people whom (I hope) love and care for the little guy.

I hoped you enjoyed my first blog post with out sarcasm, irony, joking around, relationship issues, or general weirdness!NEW RELEASES:
Gran Torino: This movie gets a thumbs up for having Clint Eastwood say practically every racial jab known to man. This also gets my other thumb pointing up for having him say "Get off my lawn".

The International: Tom Tykwer is back in America directing this new thriller with Clive Owen and Naomi Watts. I don't know what else to say. I'm really sorry, but nothing is coming to mind about what to write about. I'm getting a serious case of writers block. Geez, what's happening to me! You should rent this movie and tell me all about it. It might inspire me to come up with something clever.

Nicotina: My smoking support group discouraged me from watching this film. They thought I would get panic attacks and want to go back to smoking. It's so hard working in a videostore where half the movies have characters smoking cigarettes and cigars... But I need to be strong.

The Shield - Final Act: I feel bad for Michael Chiklis. After this he's going to have to find a new steady job. The problem is everyone will remember him as being that jerk from "The Shield". I wish him the best for the future!

REC SECTS:
David Carradine: Let's not focuses on how he died. Let's focus on all the awesome movies he did over the year, because in the end, that's what he'll be remembered for, right? RIGHT!? So rent some of his classics like "Boxcar Bertha", "Kill Bill", "The Serpent and the Egg", and of course, the classic television show, "Kung Fu".

OTHER NEW RELEASES:
Blur/Live 13
Brazil Revealed
Bunny Chow (South Africa)
Cash (w/ Jean "Agent OSS 117" DuJardin, France)
A Christmas Tale (w/ Catherine Deneuve, Mathieu Amalric, France)
Defiance (Blu)
Destiny (Lang)
Easybeats, Friday On My Side
Fired Up (cheerleading fun)
Five Days (BBC miniseries)
The Fox and Child (children's film from the director of "March of the Penguins", narrated in English by Kate Winslet)
Gang of Four (Dir: J Rivette, France)
The Ghost and the Darkness
The Graduate (Blu)
Home (09)
Home (09) (Blu)
I'm Telling You For the Last Time (J Seinfeld)
The It Crowd S.2 (BBC)
The Kinks/Paris Party 1965
The Monkey/The Transatlantic Feedback
The Neverending Story III
One-Chanbara (aka Chanbara Beauty, Japan)
One Hundred and One Nights (Dir. A. Varda, France)
Pay It Forward/A Walk to Remember
Razzle Dazzle (Australia)
Return of the Gladiator (Italy)
Revolutionary Road (Blu)
Scientology Training Video (no joke)
Stardust (with Keith Moon, 1974)

BYE BYE NOW!:

So long!

www.vidtheque.comMORAL OF THE WEEK:
Going to a movie is a bad idea for a first date. You can't talk to them or make any form of communication during the film. Go bowling or do something instead.

New Releases for June 2nd or I Need to Use the Restroom!

2009-06-03T17:03:00.000-07:00

I've returned to Los Angeles after staying in hiding for a few months. Luckily, after the heavy amounts of plastic reconstruction I've had to my face and body, the police won't recognize who I am. I decided to try this online dating thing again to see what can I accomplish with my new mug.

I ended up meeting a very nice girl. She was about 5' 2'', Salvadorian descent, light brown skin, dark brown eyes, and long, straight black hair. We chatted a bit. She was currently completing her thesis on Chicano Murals of Los Angeles, she loved old computer parts, rainy days, and couldn't stand crowds.

I decided it'd be neat if we'd go for dinner and a movie (I'm a big time cheese. I know it.) and got to talking with her. We actually really hit it off and she held my attention for more than a minute. I decided, like a big time dummy, to ask her if she'd ever done this online dating thing before. She said yes. I asked her who was the last guy and what he was like. She replied by saying it was actually someone kinda big.

"Really? Who was it?"

"Well, he was recently in a movie. His name Seann William Scott"

I wasn't sure who it was, so I asked her to clarify. She mentioned he's a great comedic actor that was in "Dude? Where's My Car?" and "American Pie" and that recently he was in "Role Models". Then it hit me. He's that annoying character Stifler from the first "American Pie" movie. And that point, I actually convulsed a bit in disgust and followed that with an "OH GOD!". She smiled and said "What?". I couldn't control myself at the point and said "How could you allow yourself to go out with a cultural abomination like that chump". For the kiddies, I won't post her two worded response. She emptied out her glass of Indian iced tea on my head and left. In the end, I explained to the restaurant owner what happened and who she dated and he was nice enough to give me a bit of a discount.

At first, I felt bad, but on the way home, I felt good for two reasons.

1) I almost dated a girl who thought that Sean William Scott is cool.

2) He's as much as a loser as me. He needs to date online too.

NEW RELEASES:

Defiance: James Bond plays a character unlike James Bond in this WWII drama. I think it's worth a rental just for that.

He's Just Not That Into You: I haven't seen this, but I hate it. But I don't hate it for no reason. In fact, I have a very good reason. When the book was still hot stuff, I had a friend (lets call her "C") who was nuts in love with an other friend (lets call him "S"). Well, it just happened that "S" did not in fact like "C". "C" took this book as her bible and used every stupid male reaction as it is in the book. Well, it turned out "S" didn't like "C" for reasons the book doesn't even come close to touching upon. It was a complicated scenario. If you made it this far into the paragraph, I congratulate you for making sense of it.

Neil Young Archives Vol. 1: You can now throw away your Neil Young bootlegs you've spent the better part of your youth collecting from swap meets. He's officially releasing tons and tons of unreleased music as part of his archives collection. And yes, he wants it on DVD because DVD allows for the audio quality LP and CD just can't reproduce. You can hear (and see) his steady evolution from a high school student to world famous Canadian folkie.

Revoluntionary Road: Let's be honest. We don't like reading. In fact, I'm getting tired of reading this blog while writing it. So tired in fact, that I feel like I should nap. Not a regular king of nap. The kind of nap you would take after a heavy lunch of Mexican food and beer. Hollywood knows how you work. So they decided again that they'd go ahead and film the book for you with Leo D. and Katie W. I don't even want to read the plot synopsis. I'm just that kinda guy. I hope Hollywood makes a movie about the synopsis of the plot.

Spring Breakdown: Poor Parker Posey. I guess when she isn't doing indie films or Christopher Guest mockumentaries, she has bills to pay for. Too bad they stuck her with Amy Poehler and that girl who kinda looks like Amy Poehler for this comedy. Maybe I'm wrong. For all I know, this film could be great. You should rent it to tell me. Now I'm curious.

Une Femme Mariee: Finally someone decided to put this out! We're almost finished with owning all the official releases of Godard's sixties out put! Also, interesting note, in France, the film was supposed to be called "THE Married Woman", not "A Married Woman" but the censors though it would encourage infidelity among the citizens of France.

Weeds S.4: I'm more surprised about the advertising for this than the show itself. I'm no prude or stickler, but I was surprised to see a scantily clad woman sitting onto of a marijuana leaf. And it's not just on the cover, it's all over buses, billboards, and benches. I'm really surprised that people let that slide. I ain't complainin', though.

OTHER NEW RELEASES:
24 S.7
Adieu Philippine
All About Women
Archives of War
Being Mick
Door Into Darkness
Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
Escape from Sobibor
Fatso
A Girl Cut In Two
If You Are the One
Jurassic Park 3
Kepr and Dreamless
Kraftwerk and the Electric Revolution
The Last Deadly Mission
The Oldest Profession
Powder Blue
Return of the Gladiator
Shorts! V3
Ten Minutes Older
True Blood S.1 (Blu-Ray)
Two Mules for Sister Sara

Warner Archive Films:
4 Horseman of the Apocalypse
Dream Lover
Dusty and Sweets McGee
Freebie and the Bean
Made in Paris
The Rain People
Soldier in the Rain
Voices
Westbound
Wichita

Frederic Wiseman Films:
Adjustment & Work
Aspen
Ballet
Basic Training
Belfast, Maine
Blind
Canal Zone
Central Park
Comedie-francaise ou L'Amour Joue
Deaf
Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence II
Essene
High School
High School II
Juvenile Court
The Last Letter
Law and Order
Manoeuvre
Meat
Missile
Model
Multi-Handicapped
Near Death
Primate
Public Housing
Racetrack
Sinai Field Mission
State Legislature
The Store
Titicut Follies
Welfare
Zoo

REC SECTS:
Warner Archive: Warner is getting pretty lazy with their DVD releases. They started thinking it ain't cool to release "Freebie and the Bean", "The Rain People", and "Dusty and Sweets McGee" with sparkling new transfers and special features so they decided to unload these on their online archive. We picked up a few of them so you don't have to pay full price. Instead, you get to rent them for the low price of four bucks. I think it's safe to say we got the upper hand on Warner Brothers.

Frederick Wiseman: Twelve years after the introduction of the DVD format into the American marketplace, Frederick Wiseman finally thought it was a good idea to officially make some money and capitalize on the DVD craze! Pick up some classics like "Meat", "High School", and "Titicut Follies" and watch these in all their glory.

ADIEU! ADIEU!:

'til Next Time!

www.vidtheque.com

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Don't insult your date. It's a major turn off (or so I've been told).

I can sneek a peek at customers through our drop slot.

New Releases for May 29th or I Think I'm an Angry Guy.

2009-05-26T21:00:00.000-07:00

I like movies. In fact, I'd dare say, I love 'em. Problem is with new movies, we tend to get 3-5 crummy ones coming down the pike. Here, I submit to you, my top five peeves:

- (WO)MANCHILDREN: I don't know "what the deal is with these movies" (said in Jerry Seinfeld stand-up mode), but so many have characters who refuse to grow up, act their age, or take responsibility in life. It's pervasive across the board-- drama, comedy, and indie films alike. Are we really all stuck in this perrenial adolescent period or is it just that these movies will predictably rake in the dough? You rarely see movies with real men and women with REAL problems to move the drama.

- SELF EVIDENT QUIRKINESS: These wear me down. The ones where people all have the same anti-social quirk (a popular addendum to this is the inclusion of endless noir style references). Can we not develop films without these traits?

- LAME ACTION FILMS: All a good action movie needs is a villain you love to hate, a tough guy and a big gun. Nowadays it's non-stop explosions, quick cuts and Nicholas Cage. Seriously, this doesn't seem the hardest genre to mangle, yet is done all too frequently. Memo to Hollywood: quit with the PG-13 action. When people get shot, they bleed, not shake their arms like crazy and fall to the floor.

- KIDS MOVIES THAT HAVE SOMETHING TO TEACH YOU: When I was a kid, I despaired none more than during didactic cartoons with a moral to unload. You're a kid for so short of a period, why to waste away in front of such dross? Rarely now is there good fantasy, violence, or humor in kids' pics. Instead, we face the barrage of superfluous tongue in cheek jokes for adults who can't stay awake next to the kid otherwise.

- MOVIES WITH A TWIST AT THE END: There are some directors who can pull this off (Hitchcock) and those who cannot (most everyone else). The "twist" is all too often a gimmic to try to save an already sub-standard story. Let's put it to rest.

I'm sure there are many more things that furrow my brow, but these take the cake. Take them as you will, just promise not to lynch me for my comments!

NEW RELEASES:

24 S7: Ever noticed that he Kiefer Sutherland says "Where's the bomb?" a lot? Aside from that, I haven't seen these show in a couple of seasons, but I remember it being pretty awesome. It has Kiefer Sutherland. It has to be good.

Beyond Rangoon: New to DVD is John Boorman's 1995 film starring Patricia Arquette stuck in Thailand during a bad time. I'm not sure what time it is though. I'm a product of the American public education system and as such, I know nothing about other cultures and countries. Then again, I know nothing about culture and country. Shame, shame, shame on me.

K*ke Like Me: Oye! Vay! Celebrate my people's legacy with a documentary about what it takes to be Jewish. It's about time someone has the chutzpah to make a movie like this. Hopefully, it talks about all my favorite stereotypes! Shalom!

New In Town: Watch Renee Zellweger scrunch her face over and over again in this new romantic comedy where she plays a hot shot moving from Miami to Minnesota. See how the snowy fields of Minnesota melt her frozen heart as she falls in love with the Hunkasaurus Rex; Harry Connick, Jr.

The Princess of Nebraska/A Thousand Years of Good Prayers: Wayne Wang, off the success of "Because of Winn-Dixie" and some Queen Latifah movie, has gone back to making intimate lower budget features with things like "emotion" and "social commentary". Both films are about the Chinese-American experience in a post-Mao world. I actually didn't know about these until the moment I was writing this blog. I wish I knew. I would've seen these.

The Sky Crawlers: Japanese animator Mamoru Oshii desecrates the history of the world with his new anime about an alternate universe where people still resort to dogfights in the sky instead of solving their problems with biological, nuclear, thermal, and anti-matter weapons. I'm sure there's a love story involved somewhere too. Rent it and tell me when you get the chance.

Zabriskie Point: Hate Capitalism? I sure don't. Well, I can't. I don't have the time and have bills and what not so I depend on your dollars to live. Well, if you really, really hate it you should rent "Zabriskie Point" to stick it to the man. Then again, if you rent it, you pay for it, which makes you a healthy clog in the Capitalist machine. Damn, this is confusing. Also, this edition is missing the Pink Floyd reprise after the famous explosion(s). Instead, we get Roy Orbison singing about Zabriskie Point in his falsetto.

OTHER NEW RELEASES:

4 for Texas
Century of the Self
Fanboys
Four Eyed Monsters
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (Blu)
Hooper
I'm Alan Partridge/Series 2
Inside Moves
Jingle All the Way
M. Butterfly
The Morning After
Nenett + Boni
Poitson Friends
Windhorses

ARRIVEDERCI!:

Sayonara.

www.vidtheque.com

MORAL OF THE WEEK:

Be careful of wearing shirts. Today, I went into Trader Joe's, and the sleeve caught onto a six pack of Heineken and I pulled it straight to the floor. Foam flooded the floor as green glass spread throughout the front. All I wanted was a salad, and instead wasted six perfectly fine beers. And it's hot too. Someone could've used those beers in this weather.

I'm a PC.

New Releases for May 19th, or Breakin' Da Law!

2009-05-19T19:58:00.000-07:00

I'm currently writing this blog while out on the lam. I don't work at Videotheque. I never did. It's all a front on my part. Videotheque is a real business, but I just do their blog on the side for a couple of rentals a week. In reality, I'm a wheeler, a dealer, and all around no good stealer.

Now the fuzz is on my tail. Just gotta give them a couple of shakes and they're off. Earlier today, I went inside a McDonald's to shave in their restroom when out from the lobby came the five-o. Luckily, I avoided the situation by asking him a paradox. I simply said that if their motto is to protect and serve, why won't he serve and protect me. He began to rest his chin between his index finger and thumb and said "I don't know". He stood there pondering for what must've been five minutes. At the sixth minute, I just beat it and ordered some McNuggets.

Hopefully next week I'm back. Luckily, there are no cops near my trailer in the Nevada desert, so I'll chill here for about a week and return.

NEW RELEASES:

DETECTIVE BUREAU 2-3 (GO TO HELL BASTARDS!)/3 SECONDS BEFORE EXPLOSION: Two classic Nikkatsu films are finally abalible in the west for the first time. Also, Detective Bureau 2-3 (Go to Hell Bastards!) may go down in history as the greatest movie title in the history of ever.

THE FRIENDS OF EDDIE COYLE: Remember when all you needed for a movie was a good story, good acting, and some good dialougue? Nah? I don't remember either! Apparently though, this movie has all three. Sounds like a triple threat starring Robert Mitchum and Peter Boyle as scumbags! Neat-o!

MAN HUNT: When you really hate someone, you'll go to extremes to stop them. In this case, someone hated Hitler so much that they wanted him dead. Sounds like fun! Directed by German expatriate Fritz Lang in Hollywood, CA.

PIGS, PIMPS, AND BATTLESHIPS (THREE FILMS BY IMAMURA): Three of my favorite things in these three classics by director Imamura. Would make a great double feature with the two Nikkatsu action films. They were mostly made to follow up A-pictures like the ones Imamura would do (plus you would pay for two rentals. A portion of the proceeds go to feed my children.)

PAUL BLART: MALL COP: Two mall cop movies in one year, huh? Frist this, then "Observe and Report". I think it's good to say that now it's better than ever to capitalize on the mall cop craze. I have a feeling mall cops are the next vampires.

RUSSELL BRAND IN NEW YORK CITY: They keep labeling this guy as controversial on the cover. Trust me. This guy isn't really controversial. Hitler is controversial. Pol Pot was controversial. This guy tells jokes. I'm sure he's funny, but I have a feeling he ain't that controversial.

TRUE BLOOD S.1: I'm done. I can't stand it! No more vampires! And this is only season one. That means they'll be more. What kind of sins have I commited to do such a thing as get more vampire media!

VALKYRIE: A movie where people try to assassinate Hitler? Where have I heard about a film like this? Tom Cruise also sports an eyepatch because his doctor said he has a lazy eye. Seems fun.

MORE NEW RELEASES:

Arctive Monkeys at the Apollo
The Beatles Live
Blind Husbands/The Great Garbo
Cafe Society
Columbo S.1
The Dark Half
The Duchess of Langeais
Good Burger
H2 Worker
Honor Among Thieves
In Search of a Midnight Kiss
Live and Become
Munyurangabo
Neil Young at Sugar Mountain
Of Time and the City
Plague Town
S.Darko
Spies Like Us
There's Only One Jimmy Grimble
Wholpin No.8

UNTIL NEXT WEEK:

Just remember that if you need a shoulder to cry on, Videotheque will be there for you.

www.vidtheque.com

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
If you are being robbed while at a bank, don't try to be a hero. I saw someone try it in a movie once and they got shot. Unless you really have a death wish, please don't do it.

New Releases for May 12th, or Forgive Me...

2009-05-12T15:06:00.000-07:00

This blog never existed. Ignore this post.

NEW RELEASES:

LYING: Naw, this isn't coming out. I was just Lying! (Actually it is. Please rent it. My children depend on your money)

PASSENGERS: The long awaited awaited sequel to Antonioni's "The Passenger" finally arrives courtesy of Anne Hathaway! Joy!

TAKEN: I've taken a liking to this film. I love seeing Kinsey shoot people. When he's isn't solving problems in the bedroom, he's solving problems with a 9mm, which is inherently a phallic symbol.

UNDERWORLD: RISE OF THE LYCANS: I'm getting sick and tired of vampires. If we get one more vampire movie, I'll... I'll... I'll... get pissy about it.

WISE BLOOD: *steps onto car hood* Here at the Church of Videotheque, we don't believe in any hibby-jibby and voo-doo like mail order rentals or getting the edited version of a film. We just get what you need at a resonible price. *steps off hood* That's how the main character talks in this strange film about the south and their wacky religious beliefs. Directed by the famous John Huston (who has a small role in it himself).

OTHER NEW RELEASES:

American Scary
Black Swan
The Brave One (55)
Ctuhulhu
Days of Darkness
Gavin & Stacey
It's a Free World...
Just Another Love Story
On The Other Hand, Death
Passengers
Splinter
Stranded
Taken (Blu)
Taking Chance
Three Musketeers of the West
Train Man
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (Blu)
The Universe of Keith Harring
A Walk on the Moon

ALL THINGS MUST PASS:

That was the title song of George Harrison's debut album. It was originally written for Abbey Road and Let It Be, but I suppose the song was too wise and too honest for the rest of The Beatles. But he's right. All things do pass. Our employee, France Gall, has finally hit the ol' rickety road. She's moved on to better stuff. Okay, not really. She's actually avoiding the feds after trying to avoid paying taxes from the moment she turned eighteen. Videotheque and myself wish her nothing but the best on her continuing journey of life. Bon voyage!

THE REPLACEMENT:

So with France Gall a thing the past and only a lingering memory, we have to fill her spot quickly. We now have a new member of our Videotheque family, Ronald (or RV). We open our arms and gladly embrace his entry in the the world of Videotheque and into the hearts of customers. We wish you the best!

AIDS BENEFIT:

Our very own Grace will be having a small raffle/lunch benefit for the fight against AIDS on May 23 at:

Throop Church
300 S. Los Robles Ave
Pasadena, CA 91101

Do you like nachos, drinks, hot dogs and the possibility of winning free stuff? Then drop in by with a donation of five dollars and have yourself a good time while helping the fight against AIDS. Trust us; you'll feel good about it!

REC SECTS:

First, our employee picks:
MARK W'S "MIXTAPE FOR YOUR MISSUS": Mark likes music. Music makes Mark merry. He also noticed that the ladies love music. He's watching out for you, the reader and customer. Get your missus in the mood with the soothing melodies of Serge Gainsbourg, Antonio Carlos Jobin, and ABBA. And when this stuff helps your relationship, you can come in and say thanks.

R.V.'S "HUNGRY": Until he finally got hired here, R.V. has been living off of rations and whatever type of bread he can find in the dumpster behind Costco. But now, he's a member of the work force again. Do celebrate his ability to once again feed himself, he's made his first section devoted to the find art of grubbing down. Some of the juicy and spicy meatballs you'll find here include "The Hunger", "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory", and "Cannibal Holocoust". Nummy, nummy, num-num!

Now, our misc sections:
CANNES YOU DIG IT?: It's that time of the year already. Cannes Film Festival is rolling in again later this week so big-time hot shots can buy the films distribution and bring it here. In celebration, we've put up a small section devoted to all the winners of Cannes past. Here you can find your fix of all sorts of classy movies including "A Man and a Woman", "Missing", "Marty", "Rosetta", and "Kagemusha".

DOM DELUISE: Nothing broke my heart more this week than to hear than Pizza the Hut had died this week. Relive all those funny moments by renting "Cannonball Run", "Smokey and the Bandit II", "History of the World: Part 1", and "Fail Safe". Wait... "Fail Safe" isn't funny...

SEE YA LATER!:

I love you all.

www.vidtheque.com

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Don't post on the anything on the internet. It'll come back and bite you in the ol' tookus! *cough* http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2009/04/myspace-diatrib/ *cough*
The heat's getting to us.

New Releases for May 5th, or Watch Out! Swine Flu!

2009-05-04T21:20:00.000-07:00

April 26th, 2009
Dear blog,

I hope all is well. So recently I've been noticing a girl who works at a book store in Pasadena. She so cute. She seems to have an interest in Rimbaud, Bukowski, and western philosophy. To sum it up: my kinda girl. She has what I call "specs-appeal". The glasses she wears kills me, but in a good way, like how if I eat something spicy it kills me. It's just extra frosting on the proverbial cake. She was nice enough to talk to me and give me her name. It was Judy. Judy is a cute name. Judy, Judy, Judy, Judy. Judy. I'm going to rip a page out of the book I bought just so I can say it was defective and get a change to talk to her again. Oh Judy!

April 27th, 2009

You won't belive it blog! I went there and went into a robotic trance. My eyes were only focused on finding Judy. When I found her, I did something I never did; I played it smooth! I corrected my posture, got the dandruff out of my hair, and was making joke and witty observation left and right. And then BOOM! Just like that I asked her out. There was a brief pause. Those three seconds felt like an eternity. I felt the sweat drip off my back and onto my butt. The right side of my left brow had an itch that I just refused to scratch. I was expecting to get maced or stabbed or slapped or kicked in the nads any second. She gave me her very cute honest smile and said yes. She said yes! SHE SAID YES! I was as giddy as a schoolgirl but didn't act like that of course. I just continued to play it cool. I said at meet her in the evening of the 29th. She gave me her phone number and address and I just went and hit the rickety-road.

April 28th, 2009

Today was my day off from work. I went to the laundry and did some minor grovery shopping. Nothing big today. Two weird things I noticed today. First, when I went on the train, there were signs telling me how they are using a new cleaning technique to prevent the spread of disease. Second, I noticed people were reading newspapers that all had headlines with the word "SWINE" on it. I'm a busy man and don't have the time to read the rest of the headling, but that word just sticked out like a pig in a chicken coop. I just ignored it, went home, and saw some re-runs of Mama's Family.

April 29th, 2009

Today was the day. I get put on my cleanest clothes and went to meet Judy. Everything started off okay. We went mini-golfing, got some burgers, and just went cruising around the San Gabriel Valley. I pulled over to Inspiration Point to see how far I can take this date. When the car stopped, I open a bottle of wine I stole from work and poured it into the paper cups we were drinking our Coca-Cola's in. The middle of her second glass, she started coughing profusely. After the third she said she wasn't feeling so good to which I replied "I got just the medicine for you". I went in for the kiss. I kissed her, but her lips sort just stayed still. I felt that her forehead was pretty hot. Still in the "being cool" aura, I said "Am I making you hot?" She then begged to go home, but said it wasn't my fault. Phew! I thought I screwed up big time. She said she felt "flu-lie symptoms" and that she'd like to go home. She apologized and told me to call her tomorrow. We said our good-byes and went our seperate ways. What a night...

April 30th, 2009

I called her around 3:02. Someone told me once that if I called at an exact minute, that it was weird. When I called I got her roommate on the line. The roommate was yelling that the government had checked her temperature and said she had the "swine flu". She said to hurry and help. I went to her house and saw some G-man standing guard. I started asking him what happened. He refused to answer my questions. When I explained to him that something fishy is going on and how she got sick last night he asked if I had any contact with her. I answered that all I got to do was kiss her. As soon as I said that, a group of men in white suits surrounded me, removed my clothes and put me into a van. The van drove off for what must've felt like hours. When it stopped, they gave me a white jumpsuit and the put into a detainment center for people with the "swine flu". I told them that I felt fine but they didn't care. To pass the time, I just replayed episodes of "Seinfeld" in my head. And I thought last night was bad...

April 31st, 2009

I've been looking around this center looking for Judy. No luck. All I found were a bunch of sick people. Speaking of being sick, I'm feeling a bit feverish myself right about now. It's strange that I'm feeling these "flu-like symptoms" as well. I'm going to cut this entry early and get some rest.

May 1st, 2009

I'm not feeling good at all. I started craving a double-cheese burger all of the sudden. Then when the concept of of actually eating the burger hit me, I felt like throwing up. I'm sure I would've thrown up, but my stomach was empty. Then I felt hungry all over again, and then felt again. It's a vicious cycle I tell you. Geez, I'm starting to feel worse by the minute...

May 2nd, 2009

Blog... Please send help... I'm so hungry... Need a cheese-burgerrrrr...

NEW RELEASES:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: I like David Fincher. I really, really do. Seven is awesome. Fight Club is awesome. Zodiac was the best movie of 2007. Then he follows up a film as great as Zodiac with this. Let it be known that I have not seen this film, but I plan to. I have the best hopes that this film isn't as bad as the cover makes me think it is. If it made it to the Criterion Collection, it has to have some amount of worth. Stay tuned for updates on my feelings of this film.

Last Chance Harvey: The star of "Straw Dogs" shows you that he's still capable of love. He's now in London falling in love with Miss Emma Thompson. Normally, I'd say something bad about this movie or bash the concept of "love", but I've now come to peace with myself and have now accepted that love is a normal human emotion.

Look: LOOK! It's a movie that works on one gimmick! Every single shot is shot via surveillance camera! This would be cool if it wasn't for the fact everything is staged. Remember those shows they use to have on Fox in the mid-nineties where they would show you the best footage ever shot with a surveillance camera? I just remember it would show you the horrors of what goes on behind the scenes of your local super market's meat section or footage of people peeing in the office coffee pot. If this movie was that, I'd watch it.

Wendy and Lucy: My god! Dog movies have finally penetrated the art film world! Is nothing sacred no more?

OTHER NEW RELEASES:

The Burrowers
Charles Mingus Epitaph
Concret Revolution
The Electric Horseman
Enchanted April
Evil Dead II (Blu)
Gary Numan
Glam Rock
The Greatest Show on Earth
Halloween (Blu)
I.O.U.S.A.
JCVD (Blu)
Kung Fu Mahjong
Little Dorrit
The Mary Tyler Moore Show S.2
The Mighty Boosh S.2
The Mighty Boosh S.3
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (Blu)
Oz S.4
Peter Bear: Scrapbook From Africa and Beyond
Pride and Prejudice (Blu)
Raquel
Roman De Gare
Roxy Music: The Highroad
The Shaggy Dog
Sixty Six
Strange Story of Joe Meek
Suburban Mayhem
This is Tom Jones
Trival
Weeds S.1 (Blu)
Wild China

ADIOS:

Thanks for reading!

www.vidtheque.comI'm sure if I were an artist, I'm sure I could come up with some pseudo-intellectual meaning behind this photo. I just think it's neat.

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
While doing research on the Swine Flu, I discovered that Jimmy Buffett is now a novelist. He wrote a novel called "Swine Not?". I think the moral is, if you're Jimmy Buffett, don't write a book.

New Releases for April 28th, or I Don't Know What Else To Say...

2009-04-27T20:25:00.000-07:00

I have to make a confession. Outside of these blogs and working at the Vidyatheque, I have a life. I know, I know. I can't believe it myself. Well, the other day, I hopped on the Redline toward Little Tokyo for the prospect of buying cheap Kirin-Ichiban. While at the market, I spotted Gourmet Cheetoes from Japan. I first thought mine eyes had deceived me, but no, it was real. It was truly a gift from the Zeus himself, wrapped in a Polymer bag.

Alright, so let me be honest for once. Cheetoes aren't that great. I really got these for the novelty aspect. I was very much pleaseatly surprised when these didn't just taste like cheese powder and sodium. This actually had an odd taste to them. It was just a little bit sweet but had an actual cheese taste to it. The texture was completley different to an American Cheetoe. It was a little bit softer than the one from here. It wasn't bad, just different. I still like my chips to have a very strong crunch to them. It's what makes a good chip. If you ever happen to stumble upon these babies, I say you buy it and eat it. It was a little bit pricy, but it truly was a good bag of Cheetoes.

NEU RELEASES:

Bride Wars: My dream since I was a young boy was to become a bride. Since California voted yes on prop 8, this isn't going to happen. Why is it that California, a state that claims to be liberal, won't let me marry and voted for Schwarzenegger twice? Huh!? Why is that!?

Empire of Passion: This movie combines a couple of my favorite cinematic elements: sex and ghosts. Is there any more of a reason to get this film?

A Grin Without a Cat: Remember when people use to not be so apathetic toward world situations or political issues? I would, but I just don't care enough. This is one of those political films, but really, who cares? What you should care about is this: the possible appearance of cats in the film.

The Hit: When I heard "The Hit", I thought it was going to be a movie about stoners trying to buy a new bong. Zing! Just kidding! It's actually a pretty cool crime film with Terrance Stamp, Tim Roth, and John Hurt being cool guys who do cool stuff like kill Australians. There's also a small role by Bunuel alum, Fernando Rey.

Hotel for Dogs: The madness continues. Following in the tradition of Benji, Marley & Me, Space Buddies, Snow Buddies, Air Buddies, Santa Buddies, Rin-Tin-Tin, Cats & Dogs, Beverly Hills Chihuahua and Beethoven comes a movie about dogs. I've never seen a dog movie before. Also, the pack cover specifically mentions the film being "heart-warming". They could've used this for a golden dog related pun. They should've put "heart-worming" instead. See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heartworm

In the Realm of the Senses: No longer do you have to go on eBay and cough up a hundred bucks for a poor looking, non-anamorphic transfer of this infamous film! Finally, it has a decent release, on Criterion less! Why does this new edition get my seal of approval? It no longer has the Madonna quote saying "[It] turns me on because it's real". If you want to get turned on by unsimulated sex, I suggest looking else where, Ms. Madonna.

Johnny Got His Gun: A regular customer came in and was shocked and glad to hear that this was coming out. He said Videots had two copies, both were stolen and never replaced. Now, it's finally being bestowed upon man once again; encased in a disc with the diameter of 4.72 inches. This film has been suppressed for years because of it's pinko/commie viewpoint on war. Being a staunch Facist, I automatically hate this film. This shouldn't stop you from watching it. And for metal heads, there's a music video for Metallica's "One". I'm not sure what the context is to the film, but it's on the disc.

OTHER NEU RELEASES:

Alexandra
Cargo 200
City of Living Dead
Cold Eyes of Fear
Craving Desire
Danger UXB
Deadly Sweet
Exposed
Forever
Killer at Large
Mr. Deeds
O Amor Natural
Perfume of Yvonne
Red Cliff
Red Cliff II
Red Cliff II (Blu)
Revenge of the Crusader
Saint Francis
Scott Walker: 30th Century Man
Top Girl
Yella

THAT IS IT FOR THIS WEEK'S INSTALLMENT OF THE BLOG:

Peace!

www.vidtheque.com

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Violence doesn't solve anything unless you hit the other guy harder.

I'm not sure what this photo means, but it feels right.

New Releases for April 21st, or Hachi Machi!

2009-04-20T20:21:00.000-07:00

When I was taking arts 'n' crafts in elementary school I loved writing poetry. I'm a sentimental sort of guy, so I decided to write a poem in the style I would've writen it in elementary school. Enjoy! (This also gives me a chance to use big words I never use)

Voluptious
Idiosyncratic
Dynamic
Emotional
Ostentatious
Tender
Heart-warming
Eloquent
Quintessential
Ubiquitous
Electric
NEW RELEASES: Battlestar Galactica: Caprica: I remember when sci-fi was made for those select few who had no problem being anti-social and being comfortable with the fact they'll never touch the skin of someone of the opposite sex. Now all the sudden sci-fi is the i"t" thing. It's what's happening. It's what all the hipsters and beatniks are talking about. I blame the dumb appeal of geek chic, but I like to blame others; I'm not one to take responsibility (that's probably why the government took my children away). Now it doesn't just stop with the Battlestar Galactica with Mr. Edward James Olmos. Now we have a spin-off. There was an ad inside the case saying how it's not only a spinoff movie, but it's going to be a whole new series. I'm sure all the fans of the show are going to go nuts over this, so I shouldn't even describe it (but when do I describe the movie?).

Frost/Nixon: Ol' man Nixon just won't go away. You figure he's someone the people of America would've pushed him out of our collective memory. Off the top of my head, I can think of Nixon in "All the President's Men", "Dick", "Secret Honor", "Nixon", and "The Assassination of Richard Nixon", not to mention the countless parodies of him in episodes of "The Simpsons". Too much of ol' Tricky Dick if ya ask me! Jeez, I hope it doesn't end up this way with Bush. "W" was bad enough! We need more movies about Grover Cleveland, I say!

Glass: A Portrait of Philip in Twelve Parts: Philip Glass is interesting. He's worked with people as diverse as John Cage, David Bowie, Leonard Cohen, and Errol Morris. Does that make his music good? Well, taste is subjective...

Notorious: At first I though this was a hip-hop version of the Hitchcock remake, and instead of the U.S. versus the Nazis, this would be the Crips versus the Bloods. I was right, to an extent. I haven't seen this film, but something tells me it would make a great double-feature with "Biggie & Tupac", Nick Broomfield's excellent documentary about the conspiracy behind their murders.

The Pervert's Guide to Cinema: At last! A guide to find all the sexy moments in movies! Radical! Wait... what? Who's this bearded "Zizek" fellow and where are my ta-ta's? Wait, he's a philosopher? Whadda ya mean the title is being ironic? Damn you, DVD! Fooled again!

Science is Fiction: 23 Films by Jean Painleve: I can now say, the pigeon, an animal I once hated with a passion, I now admire with an unending love. Mine eyes were open curtorsy of Mr. Jean Painleve, a filmmaker/scientist/surrealist, who, in these twenty-three short films, showed me the beauty behind the common street pigeon, the bat, the pregnant male seahorse, and the ordeals of being a shrimp. I hope you rent this and it opens your eyes in an almost religious experience. I know mine was.

The Wrestler: I think I should confess something. When I was a kid, I was the typical boy in the sense that I loved wrestling. I don't mean real wrestling. I mean, Macho Man Randy Savage kind of wrestling. I remember taking out my SNES and playing Wrestlemania afterschool. I remember all the wrestlers like Doink, Yokozuna, Bret Hart, The Undertaker, and so on. I even remember when each wrestler had their own manager, too. Specifically, I remember The Undertaker's manager was Paul Bearer, who had a tremendous falceto. Now, we've grown up, and so have the wrestlers. Apparently, when you grow up, all the fun out of wrestling dies with age. Or so this film leads me to believe. Also, this is the only film that plays "Round and Round" by Rat Attack. Also, Marisa Tomei walks around topless have the time, so for you perverts, there's something for you, too.

MORE NEW RELEASES:
The 10th Kingdom
America Betrayed
The Country Teacher
Frost/Nixon (Blu)
J'Accuse
Kavanagh Q.C.: Mute of Malice
The Last Word
The Little Mermaid II
Minnie & Moskovitz
Nickelodeon/The Last Picture Show
Only the Valian
Sin City (Blu)
The Wages of Fear (Blu)
The Wrestler (Blu)

RECOMMENDED SECTIONS:

Mark A's Dancing With Myself: Mark has been forgetting to take his schizophrenia medicine, so he's constanly thinking he has a twin named Kram coming after him. I just think that guy is crazy! Well, in a state of schizophrenic paranoia, he made a section devote to movies where characters either have alter-egos or twins; movies like "Dead Ringers", "The Double Life of Veronique", or " New York Minute".

GRACE AGAINST AIDS:

Ms. Gleason is continuing her fight against AIDS. While she trains for the big marathon, now may be a good time to pick up a donation form and support her fight against AIDS! She also has a little jug on the counter just asking for your kind donations. Will you do this jug some honor and donate your loose change!?

VIDEOTHEQUE MOVIE TRIVIA:

What do the following films have in common:
John Ford's "The Horse Solider"
John Huston's "The Red Badge of Courage"
Sergio Leone's "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly"
Buster Keaton's "The General"
D.W. Griffith's "The Birth of a Nation"

Now the question. Do you win a prize. You do, sort of. You know you have the gift to pull movie trivia out of your head, and we all know that's the greatest gift of all.

WE LOVE YOU, BUT WE NEED TO GET BACK TO WORK:

Sayonara!

www.vidtheque.com

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Love is a many splendored thing. Splendored things tend to cost money. Unless you have the money, I wouldn't fall in love any time soon!

It's hot as a mofo out there, so come in and enjoy our refreshing air conditioning unit!

New Releases for April 14th, 2009 or Pardon me, But There's a DVD In My Soup!

2009-04-13T21:31:00.000-07:00

I got a letter in the mail. After the whole anthrax ordeal of 2001, I've been scared to open anonymous letters, but something compelled me to give this one a shot. Let me share it with you fine folks:

Dear Videotheque, How are you doing? I saw you from the street the other day and saw your front. You've aged. Then I began to think about it, and I've aged along with you. I know younger the youthful lad I once was. I remember my biggest concern was how many hours of video game time I can fit in before sleeping or how many girls I can kiss. Now I have three kids, alimony to pay, college tuitions to pay, and I have to pay for my poor mother's clinic bills. A man wiser than myself once said that "heaven is a place where nothing ever happens". I'm starting to think that's not so bad. But enough about me! How are you doing? How are thye kids? Oh wait, you're a buisness! Buisness are not living creatures, thus they can't reproduce. My mistake! So... you guys have "Frost/Nixon" yet? That movie was off the hoo... oh, it comes out next week I see. Nevermind. Let me think of something to talk about. Hmm... hmm... Oh! So did you hear the news!? Phil Spector was convicted of 2nd degree murder. Poor guy apparently has alcohol problems, and quit months before the infamous murder. Sadly, two weeks before the incident, he got in an awful car crash and out of shock turned to the bottle. I'll always remember him for "Be My Baby". That's a good song. You've ever seen "Mean Streets"? They play that song in the start. My girlfriend Stephanie sends her regards. She said she misses you guys very much. I miss you guys too. Since I left South Pasadena, I feel there's a hole in my soul. I've tried filling it with drugs, women, excersize, booze, you name it, but it continues to stay empty. I think that hole is where Videotheque was once was... Well, until next time! I send my love! -Anonymous Customer

NEW RELEASES:

American Swing: I like movies about swing dancing. I especially like "Swing Time", though they don't really swing dance in that. What ever this movie is about, as long as it has some really nice dance numbers! Wait, hold on a sec. My co-worker just imformed me that this particular film is not about dancing but instead about "swingers". Whatever a "swinger" is, all I know is that I really liked that Vince Vaughn movies "Swingers", so by default I should like this!

House of Saddam: Saddam Hussein? More like So-Damn Insane! Hahaha... Okay, that wasn't my joke. I stole it from a mediocre episode of The Simpsons. The important thing is this: you should rent this just to spite me and my poor idea of humor.

The Reader: I wish I could read up a synopsis for this film, but I can't read. Infact, I really don't write this blog. I dictate it to a monkey who types it for me.

The Skins Vol. 2: I don't advocate this show. The idea that teenagers that are still practically babies are getting into the act of making babies themselves. Remember how melodramatic your high school years overseas in England were? You should rent this just to relive all those awesome memories like going to prom with your dream girl only to have her leave with Scott McIntosh, captain of the varsity football team. I'll never forgive him... I mean... That never happened to me. Forget it! Forget it! Let's move onto the next new release...

The Spirit: You know what they haven't made in a while? A comic book to movie adaptation. I'm sure if they were to make one, Hollywood would make some big bucks. Big time bucks. Ultra big time bucks. They should make some World War II films while they're at it, too. I don't think anyones done that yet, no?

MORE AND MORE AND MORE:
Blue Gold
Forgiving Dr. Mengele
Miroir Noir
No Regret
Obscene
Runaway Train
Ruthless People
Stephen Hawking and the Theory of Everything
Tintin Cartoon Collection
Things Are Tough All Over

REC SECTS: Grace's Numbers: Grace is currently finishing up her defree in astrophysics by putting up a section dedicated to numbers. Here you'll find films like "1984", "1900", "8 1/2", "15", and even mathematical constants like "π".

And Women's History Month was last month, so we took down the section. Sorry ladies!

NEWS FROM THE VIDYATHEQUE:
Our very own Grace Gleason will be, out of the pure kindness of her heart, be running an AIDS marathon this coming Fall! If your heart is as kind as her's and you want to help stop AIDS while she stays fit, come inside and pick up a donation application. And if you're a cheapskate, hey, you can use the donation as a tax ride-off. You save folks against AIDS and save money! Talk about win win if you ask me!

Also, I keep meaning to bring this up, but to all of you folks who are unemployed, like myself, come in a drop by Wednesdays, cuz if you rent two movies or more, you save yourself two American dollars. Those two dollars can go toward two bags of Flamin' Hot Cheetoes! Sweet deal, huh?

THAT'S ALL FO' DIS WEEK:

www.vidtheque.com

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
No matter what the other kids may say; you're not ugly. It's what's in the inside that counts!

My heart broke this week when it turned out my photo taking device isn't working properly. I'll have a new photo next week. For now, enjoy this atrocity.

New Releases for April 7th, 2009 or My God! What Have I Done!?

2009-04-06T21:26:00.000-07:00

Dear Blog,

How are you doing?...Uh huh... Yeah...? That's good to hear! My week has been weird, too! I'm having so many problems at school. I remember when I use wear the same clothes everyday, the kids would call me stinky. Now that I change my underwear and shirts everyday, they call me a "poseur". They say "You're just trying to be like the cool kids, cuz all the cool kids wear clean clothes". They even have a club called "The Clean Clothes Kidz Klub" or CCKK for short. I tried signing up and the teacher in charge just spit on my face. I can't believe Uncle Barry would do that to me!

And to top all that off, the Sadie Hopkins dance is coming up. I tried asking the guy who works at Videotheque out, but he said something about "statutory drapes" or something like that. I've been deciding between either Jimmy Howorth or David Chu. Jimmy is so cute when I see him playing his Nintendo DS behind the bungalows to avoid getting whaled on. And David, he's just as cute when I see him alphabetizing his Magic the Gathering cards in Spanish 1A.

Oh, blog, what do I do! WHAT DO I DO!?
Sincerly,
Girl

ROVER'S LAST BARK: Part 1
by Videotheque

If I were a sociologist or a anthropologist or a paleontologist or a proctologist or some sort of ologist, I'm sure I could make a grip loud of cash by studying people's renting habits. I noticed there are a couple things people go nuts for those are film noirs, dogs, and documentaries about the oil crisis. I've decided to write a short story to capitalize on all of this. I hope you enjoy it. This is just part one. Stay turned for more! (If you are a rich and powerful film producer who would like to pay me money to make this a film, I won't turn it down)

My name is Rover, a Jack Terrier. I'm a detective. Well, I'm a part time detective. When my masters aren't busy walking me and picking up the mess I leave in the side walk, I solve crimes. I saw an episode of Columbo once in my pack leader's living room and thought "I could do this!". I use to solve all sorts of crimes. Bird murders, bones being stolen, or even the illicit cat burglarar. I've done it all.

The problem is I'm not as young as I use to be. I'm nine. I remember when I use to go to the nearest watering hole and make polite overtures to the pretty girls at the end of the bar, in hopes of escorting one home. Now, I'm lucky enough if I can control my bowels before I get off the sidewalk.

I haven't solved a case in at least six months. The last case I was sent on had a cat coming from behind behinds and busting my knees with a tire iron. Sounds more fun than it is. I had to walk around with a pair of wheels until last week. I was considering retiring until she stepped in.

She was the greatest Dane I've ever seen. Just seeing her got my proverbial juices flowing. She just walked into my dog house with out asking questions.

"May I came in?" she said with her voice shaking softly.
"Aren't ya already in here" I yapped.
"Yes, but-"
"-but forget it. Come in"

She sits down. "You're Rover, right", she asks.
"Yes'um", I calmly reply.
"The detective"
"Uh-huh"
"The detective that solves crimes"
"Yes, yes, yes. Get to the point!"
"I need to to find something out. I heard from a friend of a friend that you're good at finding things."
"Sheesh! Just ask me the question already!"
"Well, my masters gone missing."
"Huh. Does he have any enemies?"
"Just the entire Republican party."

Stay tuned for next week's continuation of our epic story!

NEW RELEASES FOR THIS WEEK:

Bedtime Stories: There is one thing I don't understand: Why would anyone allow Adam Sandler to get near their kids? Especially before they're going to bed, like they're doing in this film. The only one who's allowed to tuck in my five kids is either me or my life partner. Besides that, I might like this film because it has CGI hamsters. It's as though they read my mind and combined two of my favorite things.

The Day the Earth Stood Still: Keanu Reeves plays the part he was born to play; an alien! Also, if you haven't heard from NPR, our countless documentaries, the news, from your friends, from the National Geographic channel, and from Al Gore, apparently the world is facing environmental problems and Hollywood's solution is to film expensive movies where countless large vehicles carrying all the film equipment leave a carbon foot print the size of Marlon Brando. Dang, I zinged Marlon Brando despite his handicap of being dead.

Donkey Punch: So if you're one of these sensitive religious types, I'm going to assume you will not like this film. I've been told that when you assume, you make an "ass" out of "u" and "me", so we both lose there. Maybe you're religious but still like the act of donkey punching. I don't know, but that sort of thing just doesn't fly with me. This film is advertised as a "shocking thriller", so I hope the pay off is good when the donkey punch the villian to death!

Doubt: Again, if you're one of these sensitive religious types, I DOUBT the notion of God's servants allegedly acting in conduct unbecoming will fly with you either. Hahaha! HAHAHAAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Did you see that! Get it!? I said Doubt! That's the movie's title! Hahahaha! BOO YAH!

Tale of Despereaux: In an age where the illiteracy rate is ridiculous high, the children of America are given a film with a name most thiry year-olds can't pronounce. I'm sure if you're child watches this film, his I.Q. may increase a substantial amount causing their brains to over-develop and causing us to evolve into a more sophisticated breed of humans. But we don't want this do we?

Yes Man: I want to make a pun so badly. Something along the lines of "Yes Man? More like No Man! That movie looks bad!" or "Yes Man! Yes! Finally a film for the common Man!", but it's way too easy. Instead, I'll leave that up to Gene Shalit. Besides, I've already done a pun this week (see: Doubt). Instead, let me discuss Zooey Deschanel (Jim Carrey gets enough s***). Who is she and where did she come from? Who decided to put her opposite of Jim Carrey, a man who's eighteen years her senior? Geez, the over-privalaged got it easy! You know, I would let her slide if she was gorgeous or extremly talented, but she just looks like any girl you'd see working behind the register at the Gap. Believe me, this blogger is not very attractice by any means (though he wishes the opposite), but I just don't get it. Maybe I'm out of touch with the youth of America.

MO' MOVIES, MO' PROBLEMS:
1612
An American in Paris (Blu)
Angel
Babar/King of the Elephants
Bauhaus/Shadow of Light
Blue Gold
Celebrity Nude Review Vol.1
Cleopatra (De Mille)
Crude Impact
Doubt (Blu)
Gigi (Blu)
Heaven on Earth
Jewel Thief
Jihad in Love
Le Amiche
Le Pressentiment
Leonard Cohen/T.V. Collection
Mad Detective
Scott Walker Anthology
The Seven-Ups
The Smiths/Eirope 83 & 84
Tim Buckley/Starsailor is Coming
Timecrimes
Tokyo Gore Crimes
Tokyo Zombie

RECOMMENDED SECTIONS:

Maurice Jarre: In memory of his contributions to the pantheon of great cinematic scores, we've put up a little section for the late Maurice Jarre. Hopefully, you'll pick up a a copy of "Ryan's Daughter", "Eyes Without a Face", or even "Top Secret" and solemnly bow your head down in memory.

ADIOS! UNTIL NEXT WEEK:

www.vidtheque.com

THIS WEEK'S MORAL:
Despite what your friends may try to convince you to do at the beach, the ocean is not a toilet. And if you try to use it as a bidet, you'll just get sand in your crack.

New Releases for March 31st, 2009 or I'm Taking This Blog To Strange New Directions!

2009-03-30T20:44:00.000-07:00

Last week I saw films
all the films were Japanese
it inspired me

I began to think
the haiku is powerful
I will make my own

Haiku: five seven
five morae is it's structure.
I hope you enjoy

ALL NEW RELEASES
COMING YOUR WAY THIS TUESDAY
COME IN AND RENT THEM:

Leonard Cohen/Live in London:
A devote buddhist
is no longer retired
this is his comeback

The Fugitive: Season Two, Vol. 2:
I know how it is
to hide and run from the law
amen to this show

Marley & Me:
Hachiko this ain't
Marley isn't the brightest
the end will say why

Rick Gervais/Out of England:
Rick out of England?
Who told him to come over?
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Seven Pounds:
Will Smith will always
be the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
license plate said fresh

Slumdog Millionaire:
Real big trouble in
Mumbai. Poor guy makes some dough
and gets his lady

Tell No One:
Despite the title
this movie tells everyone
to watch and rent it

WITH LIFE PASSING BY
THERE ARE NEW RELEASES
TOO MANY TO WRITE:
Austin Powers Trilogy (Blu-Ray)
Beat Beat Beat/The Small Faces
Biblomania
The Cake Eater
Coogan's Run
Danton
Far and Away
Fling
Il General Della Rovere
In The Electric Mist
The IT Crowd: The Complete Season One
Helen Hill: House of Sweet Magic
Jim Gaffigan: King Baby
Learn French With Victor
Learn Spanish With Victor
Major League Baseball Moments
Marked Woman
The Mary Tylor Moore Show S.1
The Pickwick Paper
The Pink Panther (64) (Blu-Ray)
Rick James/I'm Rick James
Simple Steps to a Greener Home

RECOMMENDATION
WE HAVE A SECTION FOR IT
HERE IS THE LATEST:

There's really no news.
France Gall had the gall to get
rid of her section

BROKEN WALLS, BROKEN
HEARTS CAN BOTH BE REPAIRED WITH
A BIT O' LOVIN':

The wood panels that
blocked the sun from entering
have all been removed

THIS HAS BEEN IT FOR
THIS WEEK. THANK YOU FOR MAKING
MY LIFE WORTH LIVING:

www.vidtheque.com

THE WIND HOWLS SOFTLY
INTO THE CURVES OF MY EAR
IT COO'S A MORAL:

Understand karma
is that lazy man's idea
of getting even

New Releases for March 24th, 2009 or Jeez Louise!

2009-03-23T20:46:00.000-07:00

As part of my post-prison program, my therapist suggested I take up a sport or find a girlfriend. This resulted on this Craig's List ad:

Single Jewish Male Looking for Woman - 24

I'm not very good at describing myself. If I had to use three words to describe me it would be vulnerable, artistic, and angry. I'm a writer for a local video store's blog and collect rare bathrobes. My hobbies include watching movies and thinking about what movie I watch next.

When it comes to women I want to be romantically involved with, I'm not picky. My only conditions are:
- You can't be taller than me (5' 6'')
- You must maintain good hygene
- You must not be easily offended
- If you have an accent or are from a foreign country, it's a plus
- No albinos

If grabs your attention, e-mail me at (e-mail withheld for security reasons) and maybe we can set something up!

Unfortunately, no women thought I was interesting enough. The only person that responded turned out to be a spambot and believe me, you don't even want to hear about how my casual encounters ad went. So, I took my therapist's other suggestion and took up a sport.

I went back on Craig's List to recruit a team. I have now successfully created the first Ultimate Frisbee team for South Pasadena; the South Pasadena Sentinels!

We've made it all the way to the semi-finals. Next, we're going up against the Altadena Alley Cats. Stay tuned to this blog for results!

NEW RELEASES:

Big Stan: I think people give Rob Schneider a hard time. People automatically assume that they're better than to watch one of his movies, but that's pure arrogance. Try to admit to yourself that his Soon-Yi Previn imitation was not funny. If you're saying to yourself "No, it wasn't funny", you're lying to yourself. Give the guy a chance and rent his new film "Big Stan". If you still hate the guy afterwards, just know that he's far richer than yourself.

Bolt: I'm currently a physics major at CalTech, so let me use my math abilities to explain this film:

Talking Dog + Talking Cat / Hamster - John Travolta * Miley Cyrus = Confusion + Mild Entertainmet[Fart Joke]

Craig Ferguson: Wee Bit O' Revolution: I use to watch Drew Carey show where this guy was a regular. I remember being shocked when I discovered he has a very thick Scottish accent, as opposed to the English accent his character had on the show. I would watch this, but the whole accent thing bothers me. You should rent it for me!

Forbidden Hollywood Collection: Volume 3: I'm not sure why these films are forbidden, but I'm going to assume it's got plenty of men and ladies doing forbidden things. If you're into that sort of stuff, I would check it out. Me, I'm a hardcore Calvinist. This could, as a result of viewing, prevent from entering Heaven, thus, I shan't be watching this!

In Treatment: So they made a show about therapy, huh? Having been (and still going) to threapy, I can vouch that this show ill represents us therapy goers. Where's the average joe, joe cool, or sloppy joe? Instead, we get some teenager moping about how she wants to kill herself and how she wants to be in the Olympics. Everyday I hear about people with REAL problems who just bite the bullet and continue living! Why waste money and time on a threapist!? The only reason I'm going is because some judge I don't even know is forcing me to! Sorry, I went on a rant there... I'll try to avoid this in the future.

Quantum of Solace: Okay, so I was thinking about the title. It just doesn't make sense. It's very similar "Yahoo Serious" in the fact that they combine two words and it doesn't make a lick of sense. I'm aware of the words "quantum" and "solace", but "Quantum of Solace" sounds like the title a kid made for his amatuer graphic novel he started in high school. I haven't seen a new James Bond film in a while, but I'm pretty sure this is potentially cool. On the cover, he's calmly walking away from an explosion all while keeping his suit perfectly neat. This is leading me to believe that you should rent it, but knowing you, you'll rent it just to see that hunkasaurus Daniel Craig.

The Venture Bros.: Season Three: I've seen a couple episodes of this show. Me and my cohort agree that it's definatly in your best interests to watch this. The episode I remember best involved David Bowie battling his former creative accomplices Iggy Pop and Klaus Nomi to the death. Based on this episode alone, I would say this may be the greatest show to be witnessed by man. It doesn't hurt that the show itself looks good, too.

NEW RELEASES THAT I WAS TOO LAZY TO WRITE ABOUT:
Australia (Blu-Ray)
Citizen Dog
Days of Being Wild (Blu-Ray)
Family Way
House of Flying Daggers (Blu-Ray)
Ip Man
Katyn
Mad Detective (Blu-Ray)
Passport to Great Weekends
Radiohead: Beat Special UK
Radiohead: Rock and Ring
Red Cliff (Blu-Ray)
The Riches: Season 2
Twilight (Blu-Ray)

RECOMMENDED SECTIONS:

Feature Actress Natasha Richardson: In memory of the recent passing of Natasha Richardson, we put up a section in her honor. You can now rent the 1998 version of "The Parent Trap" in her honor. Unfortunaly, her best movie, "Patty Hearst", in unavalible. Write angry letters to Paul Schrader demanding a DVD realease of the film in her memory.

Women's History Month: "Wait, wait, wait! Let me get this straight! Women can vote!? AND DRIVE!!?? What kind of sick, twisted science fiction world is this!?". Did that quote upset you? Stick it to chauvinistic male oppressor by renting "The Color Purple" and "North Country". That'll teach them for trying to dick you around!

Also, Marina M. and France Gall still have their respective sections up. Unfortunatly, due to powers beyond my control, the Slumdog Millionaie/Danny Boyle, Sean Penn, and Mark W. sections are gone. I tried my best to save them, but the man won.

REPAIR UPDATE:

So they're still repairing the store front. To turn on the lights in the entrace, I have to make my way around a six foot gap. Because of construction, half our drop box is gone as well. I don't know if we'll ever get it back, but for the moment, we have to manage with a what's almost a sad memory of our former box.

IS THIS BLOG POST FINISHED:
Yes it is.

www.vidtheque.com

MORAL FOR THE WEEK:
When you see yellow tape preventing you from crossing an area, understand that it's just tape. You can easily remove it and make your way to any crime scene/chemical disaster.

New Releases for March 17th, 2009 or The Blog is Back, Baby!

2009-03-16T21:40:00.000-07:00

So these blog posts haven't been around for a while. The old guy left, saying something about "pummeling people" so I offered to step in and replace his duties.

Things didn't work out as smoothly as I thought they would.

I was a fool a few months ago and was going through deep depression. When you're mixing anti-depressants with alcohol and Jack-in-the-Box, you're head is not in the right sort of mind. Through a friend of a friend of a friend, I somehow got involved with an underground glove-free boxing circuit.

Two months in the hospital, three weeks in the can, and twenty lost pounds later, I've come back to reality. My court appointed psychiatrist, Dr. Rosenthal, says that I was trying to fill a void in my life, and he was right. Being able to work on this blog again covers up part of the void (somewhere in the 73% range) and massages my mind back to stable health. And for this, I dedicate this post to Jerry Rosenthal, a court-appointed angel without wings. Thank you!

NEW RELEASES FOR 3/17/09:

The 400 Blows (Blu-Ray): Prison is a lot like the hospital. The visiting hours are short, the orange juice is from concentrate, the bed feels like a gym mat, and you hate everyone you're stuck with. Being cut off from the real world made me lose track of what the hepcats are into. Apparently, there's a new format being introduced to the market called "Digital Versatile Discs" or "DVD" for short. I'm not sure how it works, but it looks like one of my old laserdiscs except smaller. I took my EDD check and went straight to downtown Los Angeles to buy one of these mechanical doo-dad's to watch these discs. I go up to the register and the neckbearded fellow working the register chuckles. "You're going to buy THAT?" the neckbeard sez. I sez to him "Yeah. What of it?". He goes on this spiel and tangent that a new format "Blu-Ray" is coming around and that I need to be ready. Four hundred dollars later, I bought a brand new GoWell G875 Blu-Ray Player. I took it to my cousin Tony's house because his T.V. is one of those wide fancy ones. We started watching Transformers on it and I was blown away. It looked like I was watching it in the theater (and I remember how Transformers looked like in the theatre; I saw it four times). A couple of beers later, I get kicked out by my cousin's wife who was insisting I was a bad influence on my cousin, so I hit the road taking the Blu-Ray player with me. Someone from Vidyatheque suggested a film called "The 400 Blows" and that it just came out on the Blu-Ray. I told the clerk that I have a girlfriend, I don't need to rent any dirty film about 400 blows, but was assured that the film is a much different one. So I sat down on my bean bag chair, opened up a Bud-Light with Clamato and started watching this film. I haven't cried this much since my former bookie pulled my fingernails out with a plier. It's about a kid who doesn't fit in and has to deal with the ordeals of life after. I remember telling the television screen "I know how you feel, brother. I know how you feel...". That's how much this movie touched me.

Dodes'ka-Den: Akira Kurosawa directs a semi-autobiographical film about poor people in Japan, but I have to say, I can't sympathize with the characters in this film. My family had plenty of money after my mom sued McDonald's for tripping on a McNugget. She may be a quadriplegic, but she's the happiest quadriplegic I've seen after the money she got! If you enjoy feeling emotions like "pity" and "joy", this movie is your bag, but I can't say it's mine! JEOPARDY TRIVIA: Dodes'ka-Den is an onomatopoeia for the sound a train makes while passing by.

Elegy: I haven't had the pleasure of watching this film, but apparently it's about Ghandi and that Spanish actress who plays the same character in every movie doing the nasty a couple of times. Somehow Dennis Hopper is involved, too. Maybe he watches or something, I'm not too sure myself. You should rent it and tell me what goes on.

Punisher 2:War Zone: I wish I could say something neat about this film but can't. I was going to go see this film at the movies with a hot moviestar/model/astronaut, but the burrito I ate for breakfast went Punisher on my stomach and turned my lower intestine into a war zone. Be that as it may, I would watch the sequel just because Travolta isn't involved.

The Robe: Some people collect stamps. Some people collect Pokémon cards. Some people collect pogs. I happen to collect bathrobes. I have a rare collection of bathrobes, including Kenneth Anger's bathrobe c. 1959, and I have to say, it's a beautiful red bathrobe. It has the name "Kenneth Anger" studded on the back with long frills on the sleeves. Boy, was I let down when this turned out to be a film about Romans and Jesus starring Richard Burton. When will the bathrobe enthusiast finally get their film!?

Twilight: So I thought the world of romantic vampires was rid of when Anne Rice decided to write about Jesus instead. Last time romance and vampires combined in cinema was for 2002's "Queen of the Damned", and believe me when I say this, the vampires weren't the only thing the sucked about that film! Hahaha! GET IT!? SUCKED! VAMPIRES! Any hooooo, if you need to get your fix of underage-teenage-vampire lovin', or your kids are hassling you to rent this because reading the book costs too much effort to read, come in and ask for this film.
OTHER NEW RELEASES:
Burn Notice (Season 1)
Eclipse Series 15: Travels with Hiroshi Shimizu
The Hairdresser's Husband
The Last Metro
The Midnight Meat Train

RECOMMENDED SECTIONS:

First, our staff pics!
Mark W's "Films for Lovers": The big guy himself is feeling the love. I think the virus he contracted from that tick that bit him wasn't Lyme disease, but it was the love bug biting his was into his heart. This tick didn't just lay eggs under his skin, but spread a serum of love all over our recommended shelf with some of the most lovely love films that people love like "Sunrise", "A Man and a Woman", and "Palm Beach Story". I wish I knew how it felt like to be in love...

Martina M's "Besos Verdes": Miss Martina, our newest comrade in our Vidyathèque commune has made a section which she devotes to films where people get inebriated on the bourgeoisie drink of absinthe or "Green Fairy" as the cool kids call it. If you like to see fancy pants like Oscar Wilde, Vincent Van Gogh, and Dracula drink absinthe, this place is where it's happenin'!

France Gall's "Singled Out for Annihilation": It's as though France Gall peered into my soul and made a section about this bloggers life! These are all films where people are either A) being targeted or B) targeting someone else. "Cache", "Diva", and "The Silence of the Lambs" are prime, rare, and meaty examples of targeting films in this section.

Second, directors and actors!
Sean Penn's Films: Sean Penn has come pretty far. Once he was a peaceful stoner that was delayed to his senior prom by Mr. Hand, now he's an award-winning gay politician. I wish I could say I've done all that with my life. This section is practically over-flowing with Sean Penn from everything he's starred in to everything he's directed. If it's not here, it probably doesn't exist.

Slumdog Millionaire / Danny Boyle Films: So I got every Bollywood film with attractive women on the cover and every Danny Boyle film and lined 'em up on this shelf. With Indian culture being the new "it" thing, this may aid you in keeping up to date with the latest Indian music and style. This is also a section for Indian/American relations and films about vacuuming nude.

BLOCKED ENTRANCE:
Out entrance isn't blocked, per se, but if you come visit us now, you'll see a giant wall made of plywood blocking the sun and part of the Videothèque entranceway. They are earthquake proofing the building to prepare us for the next apocalypse. According to Ron Paul, it may be coming 2012.

WEDNESDAY DISCOUNT:
I pulled all my money out of IndyMac and decided to buy a house with a loan from WaMu. To put it in laymans terms, I f***ed up severely. I could really use a discount when I rent movies. Luckily, I can when I come in Wednesday. If I rent two or more movies, I can get two bucks off, which means I can buy two tacos from a truck on the way home. Sweet deal, if I say so myself.

AND WITH THAT WE'RE DONE:
And away we go!

www.vidtheque.com

It's good to be back, foolios! It's good to be back!

And to you MySpacers, we're on FaceBook too now! Come search for us and become our fan! I'm sure if you were a store, we would be your fan!

New Releases for March 10th, 2009

2009-03-10T14:42:00.000-07:00

Got a chunk of new films this week!

- Boy in Striped Pajamas
- Cadillac Records
- Elegy
- End of America
- Happy-Go-Lucky
- Howard the Duck
- La Femme Publique
- Let the Right One In
- Milk
- Noble Son
- Rachel Getting Married
- Role Models
- A Secret
- South Park (Season. 12)
- Synecdoche, New York
- Transporter 3

Ten Great Los Angeles Films

2009-03-09T17:13:00.000-07:00

A co-worker suggested that I make a list of South Pasadena films, but after I came to quickly realize that the list would just be Step Brothers, Back to the Future and Halloween (the new one and the old one), I decided to write about Los Angeles.

It's not that I have anything against South Pasadena, but it'll always be overshadowed by it's big brother neighbor, Los Angeles. Not only that, despite working in South Pas, my heart, my apartment, and all my stuff belongs to Los Angeles. So here's the list, and try not to discriminate!

- Collateral : This is the film that provoked this list. I happened to be watching this last night and I forgot what a great film it is. I don't care if he's a Scientologist, Tom Cruise does a damn fine job of being a crazy guy (which some may argue comes naturally to the guy) and Jamie Foxx proves that he doesn't need to do movies like Booty Call to get paid. A customer came up and mentioned this is up there with best films in L.A. and he's right. You get plenty of great views of Korea Town, MacArthur Park apartments, and shady discotheques. (Apologies to all Heat fanatics)

- Inland Empire : Maybe David Lynch's most abstract but certainly most debated film. Those I've meet either hate the film with a passion or claim it to be Lynch's greatest work since Eraserhead. I'm not sure if I've met anyone with an opinion along the lines of "It's alright... I guess." This film is loaded with Los Angeles all the way up the wazoo. Lot's of Hollywood Blvd. (loaded with hookers, no less) and jerk-wad directors complaining about their coffee. If that's not Los Angeles, I don't know what is!

- The Big Lebowski : Do I even need to explain this one? Everyone has seen this and knows it's filmed all around the scummy parts of Los Angeles and is full of weirdos that only Los Angeles would create. I don't know what else to say about this one.

- Boogie Nights : Having had first hand experience in the pornography business, I can tell you that I wish my director has treated me as lovingly as Burt Reynolds treated his actors. Irregardless, this film is probably the happiest film about porn, a cocaine addicted John C. Reillyand Don Cheadle getting his nice white suit covered a blood right before Alfred Molina brags about his Chinese boy toy. If you've even been to the San Fernando Valley, you'll know that Boogie Nights does it justice. The whole area looks like it's stuck in a time warp from the seventies, so it fits the film like a glove (What I was originally going to say it fits like would fit with the theme of Boogie Nights well, but was maybe too suggestive for the kids).

- Pulp Fiction : This is how L.A. SHOULD be. I wish everyone around here wore cool suits, dance on heroin, and listen to Dick Dale on the radio. This is the only movie where you see the rare Los Angeles delicacy, the Chinese restaurant/Donut store. This is just like The Big Lebowski, everyone has seen it, so what's the point of continuing talking about it?

- Menace II Society : I was debating if this or Boyz in the Hood should be on this list, but I think I made the right choice. It has all the sights of South Central, including the Korean liquor store owners who sell loose cigarettes. It's only icing on the already delicious cake by having the characters drink fourties of Olde English and calling "Jack in the Box" Jack in the A** (censored to avoid burning the eyes of children). Avoid this film if you don't want bad memories of the L.A. Riots and when they stole the radio out of your Ford Yugo.

- Barfly : This is what dive bars use to be before the hipster infiltration of the mid-2000's. I remember living near a bar in the nineties where every weekend the police would pick up a body from the street (living or dead). That's pretty much how the bars are in Barfly. It's all filmed around Alvarado before people richer than Charles Bukowski decided to clean it up. This is how I remember L.A. best. Too bad I'll never get to see it like this again, unless those bars cease being fashionable.

- Porn Star: The Ron Jeremy Story : See how the L.A. porn industry REALLY runs. Only in this city can we turn a former math teacher into the biggest (in more than one way) porn star in the industry.

- Point Blank : Two things.
1) Someone gets sniped in the L.A. Reservoir.
2) A brand new car gets destroyed underneath a freeway overpass

- The Killing : I was ready to go with a far more established L.A. classic like Sunset Blvd. or The Big Sleep, but I started remembering what an amazing film this is. This doesn't have a handsome guy like Bill Holden and Bogie. Sterling Hayden is no pretty boy, the guy is an authetic tough guy, last of his kind, and something you rarely see in movies, and the rest of the cast looks like weirdos who drink and smoke all day. Just look at Timothy Carey! This film embraces the popular L.A. tradition of watching horse races and hiding guns in rose boxes.

I know I arbitrarily stopped at ten, but that shouldn't stop you! Do you, the reader, have any contributions?

Also, keep spreading the gospel of the 'Theque being on Facebook. We're depending on word of mouth!

This road will never end. It probably goes all around the world.

2008-12-03T01:29:00.000-08:00

I remember when the previous guy who did the blog left, he wrote in his last blog that every blog from that day forth was going to be "weak sauce."

At the time I didn't understand what he was talking about. Now I do.

If my blogs have been weak sauce, they're always going to be weak sauce because I will continue to write this blog forever.

I think that some people don't think that my blogs are weak sauce, 'cause I do receive a lot of fan letters. Like this one for example:

"Dear Videotheque Blog Dude,

"Deep shades of gray. Do you understand? 'Greed is bad.' A Mormon sermon. Keep your religion to yourself. [Kathy] is cool but she seems confused. I love her. A few words of advice. Keep your nose clean, but only when you get 'urges'. That's all.

"Your [blog] was a lucky one. All those female fingers. [Kathy] has made friends here. Some are fake but many are true. I am true.

"Worn out garments are shed by the body. Worn out bodies are shed by the dweller. New bodies are donned by the dweller, like garments.

"The greatest adventure of our lives is our lives. If you let [other people] destroy what you have, you'll be left with death. Life and death are both the same.

"Learn about people. Watch a film called 'The Ninth Configuration'. It's well worth it.

"Do people call you names? They do me. It sounds as if you have finally started living for yourself. You aren't dressing for your friends anymore, huh? That's good.

"Being of mixed heritage (my father is from Botswana and my mother from [Boston]) I had a few problems expressing myself as well. Once I thought I had to listen to rap. Then I moved to thrash, and now I'm into punk again.

"There was once a time when my hair was nearly every shade of the spectrum. Now I don't care. I'm glad you don't care either.

"I am in love with Lou Reed. Have you ever listened to him? You should. Please do not take my letter as a note from a girl in a stinking lockup who is hard up. Not the case. Plastic chairs. I hate them.

"'Time it was,
And what a time it was,
It was a time of innocence,
A time of confidences.

"'Long ago it must be,
I held a photograph,
Preserve your memories,
They're all that's left you.'
-'Bookends,' Simon and Garfunkel"

NEW RELEASES 12/02:

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN: If you are an overzealous Bible thumper who secretly loves war and fighting, this is for you! I saw the first one of these, so for the sake of closure and out of respect for overzealous Bible thumpers who secretly love war and fighting, and because William Moseley is my home boy, I felt obligated to give this one a whirl. But I don't know, man, I just do not know. Prince Caspian made my heart long for Orlando Bloom. Where's Orlando Bloom when you need him? I couldn't stop thinking about "Elizabethtown" whenever Prince Caspian was on the screen. "Elizabethtown" is good. I don't care what you say. Another bonus of this film is that Willow is in it. There's nothing like an angry Ewok with a Napoleon complex. But anyway, let's get back to "Elizabethtown," it has me thinking, maybe I should create a section for Cameron Crowe. A Cameron Crowe section would be great. There are no subsections Drama. Maybe there could just be one on the bottom shelf for Cameron Crowe. Maybe I will start working on that next week. Maybe after I'm done writing next week's blog.

THE PRICE OF SUGAR: I'm not sure when this comes out but I'll mention it anyway 'cause it's narrated by another one of my home boys, Paul Newman. I missed this movie because my priorities are way out of whack. But I digress, it's about people rising up against a powerful sugar baron. Sugar is delicious, I'll give you that. But at what price? What price?!

STEP BROTHERS: The Apatow train careens out of control with this new comedy by the patchy facial-haired director of "Talladega Nights." I know that William Ferrell and John C. Reilly mean well. They try to make people laugh, and I guess that's ultimately a good thing, in a world where most people are so quick to be negative. But I don't know, man, I just do not know. There are things known and things unknown and in between is the back story to their characters in this film. Also, there are some things in this film that I think I could've gone through life not having seen. In fact, I think I would've preferred it, but still, it has its moments and also it has Videotheque's back side in soft focus in the background.

WANTED: I didn't bother to watch this 'cause based on the title alone, I knew that I would in no way be able to relate with anyone in this movie. Terence Stamp reprises his role from "Toby Dammit" in this skin and bullet fest starring the girl from "Foxfire," and the dude from "Starter for 10." Based on a true story about someone with the ability to curve bullets. You know, like a curve ball, but more deadly. This is physically possible. I recommend practicing this by way of gleeking.

THE X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE: A common experience that I've had during this long, sad, lonely life of mine is meeting girls in their mid-20's who get mad at me 'cause I'm a guy and they complain how unfair it is that men are considered more distinguished as they get older and women are considered less attractive. I can't win that argument so I often just don't say anything and then start to feel bad about myself for being distinguished, but I don't know, man, I just do not know, this Gillian Anderson gets more attractive with age. She makes herself in the early seasons of the series look like "Newsies." I liked the series and I liked the movie that followed, but then I saw trailers for this and saw Billy Connolly running around with limp arms, wearing Sean Connery's wig from "The Rock" and I thought to myself, I thought, "Man, F that noise!" But then I watched it anyway, instead of watching "The Price of Sugar," and you know what, kids? It's not half bad. In fact, I'd even venture to say it's half good. It's worth watching to see Gillian Anderson, but then the rest of the movie is half good. Kudos! Up yours, Chris Carter!

ALSO AVAILABLE:
24: Redemption
Body of War - The True Story of an Anti-War Hero
A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All
I've Been Waiting So Long
Just About Love?
The Last Continent
Life and Nothing More...
A Man Named Pearl
Prince of Darkness
Savage Grace
Sleeping Beauty (Blu-ray)
Smashing Pumpkins - If All Goes Wrong
The Spy Who Came in From the Cold

www.vidtheque.com

...Everybody knows the war is over. Everybody knows the good guys lost.

Bob Mapplethorpe, potential get-away driver: go!

2008-11-26T18:07:00.000-08:00

A lotta, lotta people ask me, they ask, "Hey, Baton Rouge, I couldn't help but notice the delinquency of this week's blog posting. What did you do for Thanksgiving?"

You see, um yeah, the thing is this, this year it was my turn to cook the turkey. I personally feel that stuffing the turkey full of bread stuffs is not good 'cause bread is high in carbs, so this year I decided to do something different.

I filled the inside of the turkey with an entire jar of Goober brand peanut butter and jelly. You know, the jars where it's filled with both peanut butter and jelly. You know, so if you wanted to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich you don't have to go rooting around in two different jars. They're both in one jar. You know?

So, then during Thanksgiving dinner when everyone was eating the turkey, they're like, "Whuh? What's this?"

I says to them, I says, "It's a peanut butter and jelly turkey!"

And then some absent-minded old guy stole my cell phone from the x-ray machine at the airport and exchanged text messages with my girlfriend and she wound up dumping me for him.

NEW RELEASES 11/25:

BOTTLE ROCKET: Criterion takes the law into their own hands by re-issuing Wes Anderson's first feature in the full splendor that you've come to know and expect and even kill for from Criterion. There's loads of special features, such as deleted scenes so you can see all the awesome stuff that James L. Brooks viciously cut from the film that otherwise would've caused the film to make sense and be less polarizing to test audiences. You can also see behind the scenes interviews that make Luke Wilson seem like a normal person; a documentary about Barry Braverman's dear ol' dad; the short film that started it all and makes you wonder what crack Polly Platt was smoking the day she saw that thing; plus a commentary track by Owen Wilson and Wes Anderson where the importance of "Miami Vice" is reiterated.

CHUNGKING EXPRESS: Criterion takes the law into their own hands by re-issuing Wong Kar Wai's film that used to have Quentin Tarantino's grumpy mug all over it. This film demonstrates that the best way to show somebody that you love them is to stalk them and break into their apartment. And if you're at all like me, you probably often say to yourself, "Hhmmm ... Chris Doyle sure is a good DP, but I wonder what his apartment is like." Now you can find out by watching this fine title, now without Tarantino's grumpy ol' mug and about five less special features than "Bottle Rocket".

THE FOOT FIST WAY: If you're at all like me, you probably consider it a good selling point for a film if someone says it's like "Napoleon Dynamite." Danny McBride stars as the owner of a dojo in a small town, and we all know people in small towns are stupid so comedy ensues, kind of like "Napoleon Dynamite." I don't know when the official release date for this film is, but Danny McBride was in "Pineapple Express" and anybody in a movie that sells out an MIA song to no end is a-okay by me.

HANCOCK: Will Smith, Charlize Theron, Jason Bateman, Peter Berg, Michael Mann, Akiva Goldsman, and Akiva Goldsman's forehead have pulled off what I had previously thought was impossible, which is they made a movie that makes "Howard the Duck" look good. Will smith plays Howard the Duck in this loosely based remake.

ALSO AVAILABLE:
Abraham Lincoln + The Struggle
The Avenging Conscience
Ballykissangel - Season 1
Ballykissangel - Season 2
The Case of the Grinning Cat
The Complete Jean Vigo
Devil's Playground
Down the Tracks: The Music That Influenced Led Zeppelin
D.W. Griffith: Father Of Film
The Godfather Part III (Blu-ray)
Goya
Katt Williams: It's Pimpin' Pimpin'
The Last Bolshevik + Happiness
Juice
Monster in a Box: The Movie
Monte Grande: What is Life?
The Point of Least Resistance + The Right Way
Provocation
Regular or Super - Views on Mies van der Rohe
Remembrance of Things to Come
Sally of the Sawdust
The Sixth Side of the Pentagon + The Embassy
Sounder
Under the Bombs
We Loved Each Other So Much

www.vidtheque.com

...they'll never catch me, man, 'cause I'm fuckin' innocent.

What is this place? Hogwarts?

2008-11-21T01:44:00.000-08:00

A lotta, lotta people ask me, they ask, "Hey, Skibididoo, you seem to have your **** together, what's your secret?"

I says to them, I says, "Oh, that's easy, my secret is starting off each day right."

Then they ask me, they ask, "How do you start the day off right? A good breakfast?"

I says to them, I says, "No. Actually the good breakfast is important, but that's second on a long list of things you have to do to start the day off right."

Then they asks me, they asks, "What's number one?"

I says to them, I says, "Oh, that's when you pee."

They then look at me real confused and ask, "No! No! What's the number one thing on the long list of things you have to do to start the day off right?"

I says to them, I says, "Oh, that! The best and first way to start your day off right is to do the angry dance in your kitchen while making breakfast."

Then they look at me even more real confused and ask, "The angry dance?"

Then I says to them, I says, "Yeah, you know, the angry dance ... from 'Footloose.'"

NEW RELEASES 11/18:

THE CLIQUE: I wanted to see this but didn't have a chance. It's a film based on the popular teen book series of the same name. It's brought to you by Tyra Banks. Whenever I hear of Tyra Banks, I think of Tyria Moore who was Aileen Wuornos' girlfriend back when she killed seven men in 1989 and 1990.

ENCOUNTERS AT THE END OF THE WORLD: I wanted to see this but didn't have a chance. Werner Herzog took some advice I gave him shortly after I saw "Incident at Loch Ness" and he took a long walk off a short pier. Thanks to this advice, we now have this glorious documentary about the Earth's, you know, hind quarters, which makes you wish you were watching "Planet Earth."

FANFAN LA TULIPE: I wanted to see this but didn't have a chance. It's a French romantic comedy from the 1952. Hardcore fans refer to it as a swashbuckler film. Those people also do the angry dance if they don't get their way so you should probably only refer to it as a swashbuckler film.

GARDEN PARTY: I wanted to see this but didn't have a chance. This is a movie that has a cover that makes you want to watch it 'cause there's a pool full of beautiful people on the cover, but then you read the title and it makes you want to take a slow ride to grandmother's house. But if you like beautiful people and lame titles, back up the truck and put this in it.

GONZO: THE LIFE AND WORK OF DR. HUNTER S. THOMPSON: I wanted to see this but didn't have a chance. This is a documentary about Hunter S. Thompson, and I know when I was done watching the previous five that came out, I was thinking, "That was good, but I think we really need more." So, please help bankroll the lifestyles of people capitalizing on the good doctor's name by enjoying this fine doc ... hey, wait a minute, a doc about a doc. When you come into the 'Theque, just demand, "The doc about the doc," the clerks will love you.

THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS 2: I wanted to see this but didn't have a chance. This is the long awaited sequel to the other traveling pants movie, based on the teen book series of the same name which makes "The Clique" look like someone with artery-hardening rage trying to do the angry dance. Anywhoo, I love these traveling pants movies even though I've never seen them. I just hope that there are a lot of laundromat scenes, you know, where they are washing the pants.

TROPIC THUNDER: I wanted to see this but didn't have a chance. This is the new film from Robert Downey, Jr. starring Ben Stiller where Jack Black plays Owen Wilson. Tom Cruise plays a character which he patterned after a real life scumbag. Go scumbags! No really. Keep going.

UP THE YANGTZE: I wanted to see this but didn't have a chance. This is one of those titles that has you saying to yourself, "Man, what's 'Yangtze' a euphemism for?" but then as you watch it you realize it is actually referring to the river and is about areas affected by a damn dam, and the transition from a culture of farming to a culture of consumer capitalism, in other words ... becoming like us.

WALL-E: I didn't want to see this but had to anyway. If you walk away from this film having learned two things, those two things should be that you're fat and you're destroying the planet. On a personal note, I didn't need to watch a movie to find that out about myself, I already know it! But if you are in denial, or you really like whiney robots, or you like Jeff Garlin, you should watch it. Watch it now!

THE WHO AT KILBURN: 1977: I think that some people don't like the Who. It's a statistical fact that some people probably don't. Well, if you ask me those people probably haven't seen this two-concert gem from back when they used to be good. Real good.

ALSO AVAILABLE:

The Chant of Jimmie Blacksmith
Christmas on Mars
Cine Manifest
Critical Condition
Doc Martin - Series 1
Eight Miles High
Encounters at the End of the World (Blu-ray)
George Lopez - America's Mexican
Gunnin' for That 1 Spot
Here Is Always Somewhere Else
The Inner Scar
Love Songs
The Machine Girl
Operation Valkyrie: The Stauffenberg Plot to Kill Hitler
Pieces
Planet B-Boy
Tropic Thunder (Blu-ray)
Wall-E (Blu-ray)
Wholphin No.7

RECOMMENDED SECTIONS:

The staff at Videotheque put up the recommended section for Thanksgiving, plus there is a new staff pix.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!: In this section you will find a veritable who's who of film and television in which Thanksgiving is celebrated, including "Down and Out in Beverly Hills," "The Ice Storm," "Pieces of April," and "Dutch," everything with the exception of "Ugly Betty" 'cause it's inconceivable that "Ugly Betty" could possibly have a Thanksgiving episode.

Biz Mark A's pix HAPPY TANKSGIVING!: Biz Mark A is pro-war and changes his section more often than I change my shirts. In this section you'll find a veritable who's who of films featuring tanks, for example, "Buffalo Soldiers," "Help!", and Sam Peckinpah's "Cross of Iron" which makes "Newsies" look like "Newsies."

Come into the store and see what other wonderment exists in the other recommended sections.

www.vidtheque.com

...and yes, it is available.

I say we eat crumpets and tea.

2008-11-12T02:48:00.000-08:00

You see um, yeah, the thing is this, after a long hard week of being micromanaged and belittled by my peers, I like to take a day off and relax and fuggitaboutit.

So, yesterday, I slept in late and then watched some old Kyle Petty races on ESPN Classic, which is a really great channel 'cause I know something I often think about when watching sports is, "Man, I sure hope to see a rerun of this someday!"

After that, I spent the day cruisin' down Ventura Boulevard in my Cadillac, listening to Tom Petty and the Heart Breakers. For dinner I stopped in the drive-thru at Naugles - actually I drove through it.

Then I went back to my Ranch style home where I watched a double-feature of Lori Petty movies I picked up at the 'Theque: "Tank Girl," and "Point Break."

NEW RELEASES 11/11:

I would just like to take this moment to thank all the Vets, who over the years have cared for my pets. The Vet who sewed the tail back on my cat after it slept the night in the car engine to stay warm one winter and then when we got in the car to go to school and work the next morning turned on the engine and cat fur went everywhere and then the cat ran in the backyard without a tail and then my mom put the tail in a Ziplock bag and my sister got the cat and we brought the cat to you and you sewed it up. And also the vet who years later put that cat, and our other cat, and our dog to sleep. Thanks Vets! Keep up the good work.

THE BOYS IN THE BAND: William Friedkin turns up the heat in this 1970 film based on the Broadway play of the same name. My associate saw this film and loved it. He was pleasantly surprised and states that it predates home boy doing films depicting action and violence. And who really needs action and violence? I sure don't. I have enough of that at home.

CAMP DE THIAROYE: African filmmaker Ousmane Sembene makes Eisenstein's "Odessa Steps" look like "Newsies" in this film where "a dispute over petty regulations" "escalates into a full-scale rebellion." I like rebellion, I've seen "Rebel Without a Cause" and I like the Billy Idol, so this film is sure to delight!

THE GENERAL: I don't know a single thing about growing my own food, but I have seen this 1927 comedy about a crazy locomotive. You might even say that it is in loco motion. You should do the Loco-motion by watching this film which makes "The Train" starring Burt Lancaster look like a slow ride to grandma's house. No really. I was reading about this film on the ... uh ... intuhnet and it says that it was a box office disaster. What was wrong with your ancestors that they weren't even going to see this? I mean, they didn't even have ... uh ... televisions back then!

HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY: I don't know why I haven't seen this - I'm like your ancestors in 1927 - 'cause this is usually the sort of overblown spectacle I respond to. This movie was actually great cause for confusion for me 'cause when it came out in the theater I was positive that it was out on DVD already, but I think that for some reason, I thought the DVD release of the first "Hellboy" was the release of "Hellboy II" in the theaters when in reality it was really the release of the first "Hellboy" on DVD.

For some reason whenever I think of "Hellboy" I think of "Forrest Gump;" I think 'cause I used to confuse Ron Perlman with Steve Tisch who produced "Forrest Gump," so deep down inside I feel like a producer of "Forrest Gump" is Hellboy.

"Hellboy II: The Golden Army" makes both "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" and "The Golden Child" combined look like "Newsies" when Hellboy and a large guppy and the girl from "Cruel Intentions" save humankind from ... uh ... a golden army, I'm guessing.

KEN RUSSELL AT THE BBC: You know him, you love him, now you can see movies he made for the BBC in the 60's. One of my associates saw and loved "Elgar". Also available on this set is "The Debussy Film," "Always on Sunday," "Isadora: The Biggest Dance in the World," "Dante's Inferno," and "Song of Summer."

MISTER FOE: This is one of those movies where a character has a convenient name just to facilitate the purposes of a clever title, i.e.: "Saving Grace," "The Savages," etc. What a lot of people don't know is that this is actually the sequel to "Billy Elliot." Billy Elliot's mother commits suicide, so what he does, is he starts acting out and has a strange romance. But between you and me, what romance isn't strange?

NATHALIE GRANGER: A lot of people don't know this, but this is actually the prequel to "Billy Elliot" where we see what led to his mom's suicide. If you like the breakfast scene in "Risky Business" you'll be all over this movie like white on rice.

ROBERTO ROSSELLINI: DIRECTOR'S SERIES: A lot of people don't know this, but Roberto Rossellini is a director. I think I've seen some of his stuff and I liked it, "Open City" and whatnot. Whatnot being my favorite. In this set you'll find "Dov'E La Liberta...?" and "Era Notte A Roma."

STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS: If you're at all like me, you probably waited in line for the premiere of Episodes 1-3 of "Star Wars" and as the end credits rolled on the end of the third one, you probably said to yourself, "Know what the world needs, some more of that! Only animated!" Now our wishes have come true with this film that features more of that, only animated.

SUKIYAKI WESTERN DJANGO: I really wanted to see this movie because it says it's an epic tale of blood, lust and greed, but then due to someone else's lust and greed and my blood, I was unable to watch it. Funny how that works out, the whole greed thing. I highly advocate watching this and studying the ol' greed because, believe you me, it's something you don't want to be on the wrong side of. It's that old win/lose mentality that we all know and love. Takashi Miike directs a lot of people I don't know by name and Quentin Tarantino who reprises his role from "Desperado."

TRACEY ULLMAN'S STATE OF THE UNION - SEASON 1: I like Tracey Ullman, I don't care what you say. She gave "The Simpsons" their start and she isn't afraid to speak her mind about the Royal Family as she's seen doing in "The Queen" and best of all she owns a lot of different disguises, which is a bonus in the cinematic arts.

WALT DISNEY TREASURES: THE CHRONOLOGICAL DONALD, VOL. 4 - 1951-1961: This is the fourth film in Disney's epic vomiting vault of old stuffs, in this set you have a whole other decade of Donald stuffs. I always related with Donald Duck 'cause of his speech impediment and particularly right now as he rarely had on pants, if ever.

WOULD I LIE TO YOU 2: If you haven't seen the first "Would I Lie to You" we have a lot in common and should probably hang out sometime. Jose Garcia makes "Sixteen Candles" look like "90210" on acid when he borrows someone's Rolls Royce and sparks fly in this French language comedy.

ALSO AVAILABLE:
The Caine Mutiny
Cinema, Aspirins and Vultures
David Holzman's Diary
Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed
La Sierra
The Last Voyage
Manila By Night (City After Dark)
Mother, Sister, Daughter
My Best Friend's Wedding
My Girlfriend's Wedding
The Shipping News + The Cider House Rules
Sold Out: A Threevening With Kevin Smith
South Central
The Spirit of St. Louis
Tightrope
Tinker Bell
Whatever You Say

RECOMMENDED SECTIONS:

As with the changing of the seasons so are the recommended sections at the 'Theque.

Democracy at Work: Like a Barack Obama supporter in shock, this section lingers like as if a rug of purpose were pulled out from under it and now it doesn't know where to go. In this section you'll find a plethora of the ol' political docs. And stay tuned as in a couple weeks when we might have a section for the ol' Thanksgiving.

Speaking of which...

Grace's pix Happy Thankstaking: You see it's "taking" rather than "giving." Like ... uh ... people. Are you Caucasian? Do you get an epinephrine rush from hating things? Why not hate yourself based solely on your skin color? That's what I'm going to do when I enjoy titles from this fine section such as "Distorted Morality," "Burn!" "Chingachgook:The Great Snake," and many more, even though my family didn't emigrate here until about 330 years after Squanto bailed the Pilgrims out of their lack of preparedness during a time when there was no such thing as REI.

Mario's pix Ball-Busters: Mario's section still remains as he is a busy working man and busy working for the man so he doesn't have the luxury of switching up his section every other day like the rest of the staff at the 'Theque. In here you'll find a plethora of titles where people are busting other peoples' balls, or even where whales are busting peoples' balls, like "Moby Dick."

Marky Mark's pix Fight Like a Gentleman: Marky Mark has grown weary of people in his neighborhood who settle their disputes via shootouts, so he's trying to spread the good word about the ol' fist fight with titles like "Rocky" and "An Officer and a Gentleman."

Martina's pix Champagne Chillers: Martina still has her old Halloween sign up, but the movies are a bit less Halloweeny, which is good considering Halloween's over, with movies like "Watership Down," "Stalker," and "Solaris."

Charlotte's pix Salut, Maurice Ronet!: It's funny, I was talking to one of my associates earlier today about someone named Maurice. Maurice makes all other actors, directors, and writers look like "Newsies" in this section which features films featuring Maurice Ronet.

Rick's pix Talk Like the Animals: Gobble! Gobble!: Rick's got talking animals on the brain and now he's foisting that upon you, just in time to give you the creeps when you put that turkey in the oven, with this fine section featuring films which feature movies featuring animals who talk, featuring such titles as "Chicken Run," "Creature Comforts," and "Fritz the Cat."

www.vidtheque.com

...and remember, we only have one life in which to hate each other so let's make the most of it.

There is no charge for awesomeness.

2008-11-09T06:15:00.000-08:00

I know what you're thinking, you're thinking, "Wait a ******* minute, it's not Tuesday, why the **** are you writing a ******* blog, you dumb ******?"

First of all, I don't even know how to respond to that 'cause you're saying "asterisk" a lot, but the fact of the matter is this, apparently the rules don't apply to Dreamworks so they can release movies whenever they see fit, and for some reason this weekend, Saturday or Sunday-ish seemed like a good time to them to release "Kung Fu Panda."

I just got out of a meeting with my associate and he has helped me determine that it's probably got something to do with Tuesday being Veterans Day and all. I checked the other new releases and their street date is Tuesday, so those distribution companies clearly don't observe Veterans Day, but Dreamworks does. They must have some Vets in the office. No, no, not veterinarians. Veterans!

Anyhoo, Veterans, we and Dreamworks salute you by making available early to you a childrens movie that you're probably too burnt out to give a **** about.

NEW RELEASE 11/08:

KUNG FU PANDA: When I'm not finding out ways to conserve bamboo forests by visiting conservation.org, I know how difficult it can sometimes be to find lighthearted fare for the little ones to help pacify them and keep them from finding out what an awful world you brought them into. Dreamworks makes that struggle a bit easier with this gem from Dreamworks starring Dreamworks animated characters voiced by Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Seth Rogen, Dustin Hoffman, Lucy Liu, and David Cross. They play Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Seth Rogen, Dustin Hoffman, Lucy Liu, and David Cross, only they are talking animals. I was telling my friend Chuck that I didn't necessarily agree with the film's viewpoint that animals can talk, but she told me that they do, so as a result I've decided that I should probably re-watch "Kung Fu Jack Black," errr... "Kung Fu Panda."

ALSO AVAILABLE:

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - Season 3
Pan's Labyrinth (Blu-ray)
Project Runway - Season 4
The Sicilian Clan
The Unit - Season 2
The Unit - Season 3

www.vidtheque.com

...and that is how you keep me copasetic.

Ray won’t let me wear my glasses on stage.

2008-11-07T06:08:00.000-08:00

I didn't do the best job, but the important thing is I tried.

I'd like to thank all the trick-or-treaters who made Videotheque a stop on their trick-or-treating route this past Halloween and made the Videotheque Halloween Ball/Sadie Hawkins Dance the overwhelming success that it was.

I'd also like to thank everyone who voted on Tuesday. You 67.2% restored my faith in humanity.

Unfortunately whenever I see my neighbor that faith in humanity is diminished by 10% and the following movies diminish it by 7.2%.

So, technically my faith in humanity has only been restored by 50%.

NEW RELEASES 11/04:

THE FILMS OF BUDD BOETTICHER: Deceased filmmaker Budd Boetticher gets the plastic treatment with his own DVD set of five westerns he made at Columbia, giving this chunk of his film career the posthumous treatment that it deserves, which he's not here to enjoy or profit from. Enjoy each of these deceased individual's films individually as rentals.

First of all, don't "Hey, Man," me.

GET SMART: During my youth, I used to spend months at a time alone at home with no adult supervision making hills on the kitchen floor with laundry detergent to drive my Matchbox Cars through. I would also eat nothing but Gemco brand tortilla chips microwaved with Velveeta on them with hot sauce packets from Naugles for months. During this time I would also watch KDOC, channel 56 for days on end. I would enjoy a lot of classic television and Request Video and Wally George. Among the classic series I would enjoy was "Get Smart" and every time I would watch that show, I would say to myself, "Man, know what the world needs? Some more of that!!!" Luckily, the dude from that stinkeroo "Dan in Real Life" and the other dude from that stinkeroo "Be Cool" and that girl from that stinkeroo "Havoc" all apparently felt the same. Breathing new life into the characters, they make that series I was watching on KDOC look like 90210 on acid.

HELL RIDE: Are you like me? Did you watch "Death Proof" and "Planet Terror" and say to yourself, "Man, know what the world needs? Some more of that!!!" Thankfully, Mr. Blonde, who is not a wife-beater, and has 27 movies in production feels the same way. It's a biker revenge movie with all the elements you need in a movie after picking up a meal at Naugles on your bike, like an image that's in focus, etc.

MILAREPA: Apparently there's some sort of shortage of filmmakers so now they're enlisting Tibetan monks to make them. Under normal circumstances I'd probably poo-poo the idea 'cause it's like, what kind of film education are these guys getting? I mean, have they seen "The Godfather Part II?" I kind of doubt it. So, I don't know, man. But given the blood-soaked and violence drenched culture that we live in, where people feel like others have to lose in order for them to win, maybe a movie here and there from a Tibetan monk is a good thing. If you share that win/lose attitude with everyone I come into contact with on a daily basis, maybe you should come in and rent this and any other movies that Videotheque has that are by or about Lamas. Not the animal, but teachers of Buddhism. That's like "Budd" as in "Budd Boetticher" but with an "hism" at the end. "Milarepa" tells a tale which is a Staples in Tibetan tradition.

MOSCOW ZERO: You can't rely on other people to make you happy and I know deep down inside Vincent Gallo and Val Kilmer love me. So, I forgive them when they are in a movie by a one-named director that takes too long to set up and uses way too many distorted lenses for no good reason. But if you like those things and you enjoyed "Dominion" and "Exorcist: The Beginning" your love for this movie will be analogous to having no end.

POPEYE THE SAILOR: 1941-1943, VOL. 3: If you're at all like me, you probably watched this as a kid and ever since have been eating spinach like a maniac to your own detriment, to the point that you are in the bathroom more than not. You probably continued eating spinach without reprieve even during the E. Coli outbreak of 2006 and the Salmonella outbreak of 2007. And since both of those situations phased neither myself nor Salman Rushdie, it shouldn't phase you either if you are a true Popeye viewer. So you should be able to watch these with abandon. Even though, between you and me, there are way too many of them.

TOO TOUGH TO DIE: A TRIBUTE TO JOHNNY RAMONE: This benefit concert was to raise money for cancer research and celebrate the 30th anniversary of the Ramones' first performance. Johnny died of cancer of the nethers two days later and gets the Budd Boetticher treatment with this fine DVD. Show the man some respect and enjoy this fine concert, especially if you can't afford to go to a real concert 'cause of these tough economic times that have you holding it instead of going to the bathroom.

TRANSSIBERIAN: "Fargo" checked out? Try this new gem featuring Woody from "Cheers" and some other folks that you've seen in some good movies. This film is like "The Darjeeling Limited" in the sense that its title is named after a train that most of the movie takes place on. It is unlike "The Darjeeling Limited" in that the name of the train in "Transsiberian" makes sense and also in that there is a plot.

Oh dang! Oh no I didn'! Aw snap!

WHAT WE DO IS SECRET: The dude from "A Walk to Remember" stars as Darby Crash of the Germs who pulled an Ian Curtis the day before Jared Leto killed John Lennon. Damn you Jared Leto! Anywhoo, pull up a chair and a bucket of hand sanitizer as you follow this Germ through all his ups and downs and his ignored demise.

WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE YOUR FATHER?: Blake Morrison and Anand Tucker foist their feelings of guilt and self-loathing onto you with this sappy quagmire of bad coming-of-age flashbacks, when Colin Firth realizes the answer to the above question posed by the title, which is: You haven't seen your father for decades 'cause of his f*** you attitude.

ALSO AVAILABLE:

2008 Wimbledon Official Film
American Stag
Chico and the Man
The Cool School
Death Defying Acts
The Family Man
Georgia
Go With the Ventures
Ludwig
Mrs. Soffel
Never Say Never Again
The Perfect Storm + Three Kings
Saxondale - Seasons 1-2
Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! - Season 1
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Runnin' Down A Dream
To the Limit
The Valley of the Bees

www.vidtheque.com

...and that's why we're happy to have Isaac with us.

This is the part where you run away.

2008-10-28T18:55:00.000-07:00

So, the thing is this, um, yeah, I was shaving in the bushes of the parking lot out in back of B of A this morning when some kids rolled up on their skateboards and they says to me, they says, "Hey, Mike, are you gonna dress up for Halloween?"

My answer to them was simple. I says to them, I says, "I enjoy any holiday 'cause it gives me a nice, warm, fuzzy feeling and an overall optimism about the future because there is that dear, dear, holiday rapidly approaching - especially on Halloween in an election year, because when you are trick-or-treating, it's a great opportunity to knock down or take lawn signs for candidates or propositions which you don't necessarily agree with - but of course, not until after they have given you candy. But I digress, young child-with-a-board-on-wheels. What am I going as for Halloween? That's easy. The same thing I do every year, which is, I cover myself in green makeup and go as Shrek, and I carry around one of those ... uh ... boom boxes with that song 'All Star' by Smash Mouth playing on it."

A lotta, lotta people don't like Smash Mouth, and with good reason - they are a little annoying - but I don't mind them. They once said, "You'll never shine if you don't glow," and I think they had a good point there.

NEW RELEASES 10/28:

ANNIE LEIBOVITZ: LIFE THROUGH A LENS: I haven't watched this 'cause at first I thought it was a sequel to "The Eyes of Laura Mars," and then I further wasn't watching it 'cause I saw it was a documentary about a photographer and I usually don't like photographers 'cause they killed Princess Diana, but then when I was doing my research for the ... uh ... blog, I saw that Annie Leibovitz took many a photograph of celebrities and celebrities make everything okay. She took photos including, but not limited to, the Rolling Stone cover with John Lennon taken the day of his death. I will always be mad at Jared Leto for killing him.

BILLY THE KID: Once in a lifetime a movie comes along that just speaks to you on every possible level, and you say to yourself, tearfully, "That ... that's why the ... uh ... cinema was invented." Such is the case with "Billy the Kid." The Casting Director from "Bugcrush" directs this film which does for the documentary what "Lawrence of Arabia" did for movies about guys in flowing white robes. The film follows a week in the life of Billy in his hometown of Brunswick, Maine as he experiences the trials and tribulations of being a sophomore and an outsider, and unrequited love as he falls in love with a WWE fanatic with lazy eyes, and throughout it all, Billy demonstrates more game and is more of a gentleman than either Ryan Gosling or I can ever hope to be.

JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH: Brendan Fraser stars in this reworking of the Jules Verne classic where for convoluted reasons he winds up in the center of the Earth with the kid from "Bridge to Terabithia," and some woman who seems to be dressed for summer weather in Iceland. I thought I knew a lot about science and whatnot, but as it turns out, there is a whole magical world inside the center of the Earth which I was completely unawares of. Plus with the advent of 3-D, which was invented for this film, you can enjoy the movie with some dorky-looking paper glasses that make the movie look like you're watching it through a View Master. Also, in my opinion, there are just not enough Brendan Fraser movies. I think that each Brendan Fraser performance should be cherished, 'cause on a long enough time line, there'll come a day when he will no longer be able to make movies and you'll miss him. And a note to Hollywood: please make as many Brendan Fraser movies as possible, while you can, for the above mentioned reasons. Thanks.

KIT KITTREDGE - AN AMERICAN GIRL: You're probably thinking, "Ooh, ooh, finally the TV series with Margaret Cho is available on DVD!" Think again, wishful thinking person. This is actually the sequel to "Nim's Island" starring the flash-in-the-pan from "Little Miss Sunshine." Nim's back on the mainland, but still has a hankering for the island life, so she builds a tree house in her backyard where she hangs out with the girls from "Heavenly Creatures" and they plot to pull the ol' bricks-in-a-stocking trick on anybody who approaches the treehouse, proving the old theory: girl is an island.

THE L-WORD - SEASON 5: The L-Word is my favoritest TV show ever. It makes "Sex and the City" look like a slow ride to grandmother's house. Plus my best friend Stewie writes for it, 'cause he's in touch with his feminine side. Really in touch. So, when you are done voting "No" on "Hate" go into Videotheque and pick up the ol' L-Word.

RAIN OF FIRE: When I saw the cover of this movie, I thought it was post-stroke Kirk Douglas, but then doing research for the ... uh ... blog, I realized this is a movie from 1977. I guess I forgot how old he looked in the 1970's. Afterall, I was born in 1994. It's not like I was watching movies in the 1970's. Anywhoo, Christian Bale plays the older version of a young boy who loses his single parent to fire-breathing dragons and then Matthew McConaghey shows up and kicks dragon butt. Then Kirk Douglas comes along and poses for a cover the looks very similar to "The Devil's Advocate" even though this movie was made 20 years earlier.

ZOMBIE STRIPPERS: Jenna Jameson stars as Jenna Jameson in this raucous romp where the world of zombies and the world of strippers collide. In general, in my personal life, I put strippers on a pedestal, so I can only advocate this film if it puts strippers on a pedestal as well, which I get the impression that it does.

ALSO AVAILABLE:

The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad
The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse
Baraka (Blu-ray)
Charlie Parker & Dizzy Gillespie: The Founding Fathers of Be Bop
DNA
Family Guy, Vol. 5 - Season 5, Part 1
Family Guy, Vol. 6
Happy Mondays: Call the Cops
Incredible Hulk (Blu-ray)
Invisible Stripes
James Ellroy's Feast of Death
John Coltrane: A True Innovator
Kid Galahad
Larceny, Inc.
The Little Giant
The Mighty Boosh - Series 1
Murder, Spies & Voting Lies
A Nightmare on Elm Street 5-8
One PM
Planet Earth (Blu-ray)
Public Enemies: The Golden Age of the Gangster Film
Screamers
Sister Act + Sister Act 2 - Back in the Habit
Steve Coogan Live
Tis Pity She's a Whore

OCTOBER SALE:

The sale that we had in October is now over. I'd just like to thank all the customers who came in on Wednesdays in October and made it a success despite the way the sale was inadequately advertised, thanks to the idiot who designed the flyer.

RECOMMENDED SECTIONS:

Come into the store this All Saint's Eve and pick up your favorite horror haunts from our haunted horror section and the recommended wall where the staff has pulled together once again, despite their differences and recommended some haunted horror haunts.

If Halloween passes and you haven't had enough Halloween, then you can still come into the store and still rent some haunted horror haunts until you get it out of your system.

Also, if people are bumping into you on purpose and then acting like it's your fault, come in and check out the Democracy at Work section where you can enjoy politics-related films while you get amped up about voting and/or hugging your poll worker on Tuesday regardless of whether or not they want you to.

www.vidtheque.com

...and that's why if you're on death row, it's ironic and will get you headlines if you request a Happy Meal for your last meal.