Heyall So I feel a bit refreshed. There was no life-threatening emergency last week, it was that I sir, had skipped out of town. So my apologies for those avid readers. Seeing as that Club VT has ventured into the advertising market and has completed their very own commercial! Yes, so let us celebrate, dance smooth and suave, and enjoy the way the rain lands on the top of our heads! Certainly, maybe, possibly...
After the Sunset: On my short hiatus from this wretched place(!), the wonderful airline I was trapped in decided to screen this gem. When they announced the feature, I exclaimed with glee, picked up my book and read the rest of the way home. Closer: Speaking of wretched things, the characters in this film seem to live in that vile piece of land. Sexual politics and vendettas collide in this hot ticket brought to you by Mr. Mike Nichols. Featuring the wonderful acting talent of Clive Owen, and then that of Jude Law, Patalie Nortman, and Ms. Lips herself, Julia Roberts. To prepare herself for the part, Julia Roberts had Jude Law kick her in the balls.
Crimson Rivers: Angels of the Apocalypse: Man, this sounds sooo goth. Reminds me of my ol' high school days. Also a former VT employee. Shh. I remember we would go to the Colorado River, sacrifice one of the witches and christen the river, The Crimson River. And then we got bored and decided to play Contra or Metroid. Remember the feeling you got when you found out in Metroid that she was a girl?! Those were the days.
Orgazmo!: Yes, I know this came out ages ago when Mormons were funny. But it has finally made it out to DVD, which means you can pause and rewind all those gorgeous babes as they are 'rescued' by Orgazmo. Features tons of zany, unsuitable-for-all-viewers commentary and plenty of other preversitivty.
Vera Drake: Oscar's long-shot at winning the best actress nod this year, this tiny little film by VT's fave Mike Leigh. This scripted/unscripted epic follows Mrs. Drake as she helps those in need by committing black market abortions. Sounds like a future Veggie-Tales episode to me. The giant Cucumber hides in London's streets as the Artichoke attempts to abort the Peppers unborn seedling. They are then arrested and sentenced to death on a long, swealtering skewer. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
*********************** New Staff Recs!! YES!! We have overthrown those Oscar Nods and commited an act of self-endulgence! Here are the fruits of our labor!
Mark: Forgein Film Fiesta: Consider it a taco salad of foreign films. Picking his favorites and best of the best fromt he world has to offer. This section reminds me of the painting shows at MOCA. Check out Mark's section to enjoy films that make you go "yeesss."
Andy: The Strokes: No, not the band. This topic is too sensitive to discuss therefore I will let you figure out Andy's sick joke. *Please Note that Andy's sense of humor does not reflect the rest of those who are employed here at Videotheque.
Meg: Who Do You Think You Are?: Feeling like you have a personality conflict? Not feeling yourself these days? Well, come sulk with one of the characters from Meg's section. Amensia, Denial, Illness...it's all here baby.
Elise: See ya! Wouldn't Want to be Ya!: For the last time, enjoy's Elise's pick. As reiterated by her section, she has moved on to better pastures and has ditched us all, like dust in the wind. Pay your respects to her by check out her swan songs of staff picks.
Introducing, Jessie: Infotainment: New girl Jessie has arrived in lieu of Elise's departure. She has already grabbed the store by the horns and called it it's bitch. She made it bark and yell out the best Documentaries it can think of. The resulting spouts are displayed here in all it's glory in her inagaural selection of recs. Make her feel welcome. So YES! back to our bad selves.
I hope you had a great Easter by laughing. Be good and don't be a stranger. go home.
www.vidtheque.com
Monday, March 28, 2005
Monday, March 14, 2005
03:15 (healthy misgivings)
Hey'all So a monkey attacked a neighbor of mine. He reportedly lost several important elements from his body and is in crucial decision. I did not here the news first, it was actually told to me, but when my lady friend spilled the beans, I couldn't help but laugh a little. I got the: "Don't laugh! Its not funny!"... Yeah, I know, I shouldn't of, but it was kinda funny. A monkey! While I burn in hell, here's something for you to chew on: Broccoli is a good source of iron!
Alfie: Smarmy-ass Jude Law is a pimpin' bachelor in this not-so-witty remake. If you didn't know how sexy he was before this, then watch all these gorgeous young and old women fall in love with him and bump uglies. Then, you'll know who Jude Law is. And when you find out, go share the news with Chris Rock. Sean Penn will love you for it.
A Fond Kiss: Quiet but store-fave Ken Loach returns with his tenth film this year!! No, really this is his first, but that man pops them out like corn. I think he's got Michael Winterbottom just about beat. Loach and his D.P. should tie their legs together, as well Winterbottom and his, and race the three-legged 100 meter dash. And as Team Winterbottom approaches the finish line, Loach will throw his DP into them, trip them and cross gloriously over the line. And being no gracious winner, he'll turn around and laugh at his name and excl.. "Is it cold down there, Winterbottom?!"
The Incredibles: Every review or blurb of this film is usually followed by "incredible." Not so original is it? so I will strive to avoid that word in an effort to bring you a not-as-lame review. Let's begin: Pixar's latest is a testament to their genius. The awesome rendering of characters AND story is rare in all the other CGI junk. No Shark Tale this is. Take this home and enjoy the wonder that is the animated bloopers! See, it wasn't THAT lame.
What the Bleep Do We Know?: Everyone says this is amazing. I say, get a better title, and then maybe it'll be amazing. Also, get a better designer for your cover. Your current one didn't know jack. Anyways, What The Yowzoo is a doc that eats narrative and poops out animation. It'll take you through the world of quantam physics that Mr. Hawking might have missed and leave you wishing that Einstein was still alive to explain it to you. Now that would be another awesome three-legged race.
******** Note: I know that the New Releases have been a little weak sauce as of late, but you should understand that just because I don't write about them, doesn't mean they don't exist. Meaning, we get tons of new crap in everyday, and I'd be a mad man to try to catalog them all. Plus, I'm a tad bit lazy and that's too much work. So if you don't hear or see it, drop us a line and we shall let you know for sure. Deal?
And that's it, next week we just might, maybe, possibly have new Staff Recs. It could happen. take care of yourself. ti amo.
www.vidtheque.com
Alfie: Smarmy-ass Jude Law is a pimpin' bachelor in this not-so-witty remake. If you didn't know how sexy he was before this, then watch all these gorgeous young and old women fall in love with him and bump uglies. Then, you'll know who Jude Law is. And when you find out, go share the news with Chris Rock. Sean Penn will love you for it.
A Fond Kiss: Quiet but store-fave Ken Loach returns with his tenth film this year!! No, really this is his first, but that man pops them out like corn. I think he's got Michael Winterbottom just about beat. Loach and his D.P. should tie their legs together, as well Winterbottom and his, and race the three-legged 100 meter dash. And as Team Winterbottom approaches the finish line, Loach will throw his DP into them, trip them and cross gloriously over the line. And being no gracious winner, he'll turn around and laugh at his name and excl.. "Is it cold down there, Winterbottom?!"
The Incredibles: Every review or blurb of this film is usually followed by "incredible." Not so original is it? so I will strive to avoid that word in an effort to bring you a not-as-lame review. Let's begin: Pixar's latest is a testament to their genius. The awesome rendering of characters AND story is rare in all the other CGI junk. No Shark Tale this is. Take this home and enjoy the wonder that is the animated bloopers! See, it wasn't THAT lame.
What the Bleep Do We Know?: Everyone says this is amazing. I say, get a better title, and then maybe it'll be amazing. Also, get a better designer for your cover. Your current one didn't know jack. Anyways, What The Yowzoo is a doc that eats narrative and poops out animation. It'll take you through the world of quantam physics that Mr. Hawking might have missed and leave you wishing that Einstein was still alive to explain it to you. Now that would be another awesome three-legged race.
******** Note: I know that the New Releases have been a little weak sauce as of late, but you should understand that just because I don't write about them, doesn't mean they don't exist. Meaning, we get tons of new crap in everyday, and I'd be a mad man to try to catalog them all. Plus, I'm a tad bit lazy and that's too much work. So if you don't hear or see it, drop us a line and we shall let you know for sure. Deal?
And that's it, next week we just might, maybe, possibly have new Staff Recs. It could happen. take care of yourself. ti amo.
www.vidtheque.com
Monday, March 7, 2005
03:08 (hey tough guy)
Hejdo I have Animal Collective's Queen in my Pictures playing behind me, and I can't help but think how much enjoyment those folks get out of doing such silly little things. I suppose I'll never know, 'specially since VTers aren't letting me in on the gag. Oh well, to hell with them! No I keed, I love them, er like them, so no harm no foul. Whatever. Anyways, it's either my bad case of menopause or the heat that's dragging me down, but my collar's feeling like a hot plate, and I be running around in circles here at VTland. Our governor doesn't believe in energy, so I suppose I can kiss the A/C adios. A big, fat one with tongue. Now that I've turned you on, read this with a sexy voice, and think of me in lace: Ohh yeah, that's the ticket:
Bright Future: Japan's other Kurosawa (Kiyoshi; who I bet hates it when he's referred to by the "other Kurosawa." Eh) brings us his latest story about crazy people. Although this isn't his typical suspense/horror motif, it certainly isn't Tampopo. Ingredients: Two Men; Jellyfish; A Murder; Dead-end Jobs; and some girl. See? That's not horror, horror would be the look on my mom's face when I erupted out of there. :(
Fear X: Let me quote Rick once again: "Did you know they made nine sequels to Fear [with Marky Mark], and they've reached the 10th one starring John Turturro?" Well, that is indeed incorrect, from what I know, it has nothing to do with Fear or that Rollercoaster scene, but by the looks of the cover, they seem to want to capitalize on Depp's and JT's success with Secret Window. And can you believe I got all that simply by looking at the cover? That's to you, Mr. Roland Barthes. (*Note: When pronouncing Barthes, the "s" is silent).
The Hillz: I won't say much about this thang, but it stars Paris Hilton. But I'm sure most of you have seen Hilton's better performance in her other "film."
The I Inside: Winner of the 2004 Academy Award for Best Foreign... Meh? Oh that would be the SEA inside! How silly of me. I have no idea where this came from, nor do I really care, but it's good to see that Ryan Phillipe's sub-par career hasn't gone completely down the drain. Well, let's not kid ourselves, after all, the ladies did love Gosford Park. Too bad their ears weren't able to pick up all the dialogue. Anyways, The I Inside....hmm...oh yes! it's a taut psychological thriller with a killer ending! The box compares it to Memento, except it's not backwards told.
Ladder 49: Wouldn't it be cool if the building that was on fire was the Scientology HQ on Melrose (or is Sunset)? And John Travolta runs out instead of the kids and people, he has stacks of Dianetics in his hands. That would be totally rad. I would pay to see that. Oh! and Joaquin Phoenix is singing Hey Ya by Outkast all the while trying to remember how he got into the business to begin with, and then concludes: "I'm getting to old for this." Boy that would be the best!
Stage Beauty: I wonder what Chris Rock would say about this particular item. I'm sure he'd love it, but only after the media makes certain they have their sound byte. He'd probably say something to the effect of: "Only straight black men will love this movie!" And then the Israelies and Palestinians will kiss and make up, Travolta's hair mystery will be solved, and my head will explode from such wonderment in this world.
****** Our Staff Recs are disabled at the moment for those glory hogs (oscar nominees) but they should be up in no time.
and that will conclude this week's blog blogger. Get out and get made.
www.vidtheque.com
Bright Future: Japan's other Kurosawa (Kiyoshi; who I bet hates it when he's referred to by the "other Kurosawa." Eh) brings us his latest story about crazy people. Although this isn't his typical suspense/horror motif, it certainly isn't Tampopo. Ingredients: Two Men; Jellyfish; A Murder; Dead-end Jobs; and some girl. See? That's not horror, horror would be the look on my mom's face when I erupted out of there. :(
Fear X: Let me quote Rick once again: "Did you know they made nine sequels to Fear [with Marky Mark], and they've reached the 10th one starring John Turturro?" Well, that is indeed incorrect, from what I know, it has nothing to do with Fear or that Rollercoaster scene, but by the looks of the cover, they seem to want to capitalize on Depp's and JT's success with Secret Window. And can you believe I got all that simply by looking at the cover? That's to you, Mr. Roland Barthes. (*Note: When pronouncing Barthes, the "s" is silent).
The Hillz: I won't say much about this thang, but it stars Paris Hilton. But I'm sure most of you have seen Hilton's better performance in her other "film."
The I Inside: Winner of the 2004 Academy Award for Best Foreign... Meh? Oh that would be the SEA inside! How silly of me. I have no idea where this came from, nor do I really care, but it's good to see that Ryan Phillipe's sub-par career hasn't gone completely down the drain. Well, let's not kid ourselves, after all, the ladies did love Gosford Park. Too bad their ears weren't able to pick up all the dialogue. Anyways, The I Inside....hmm...oh yes! it's a taut psychological thriller with a killer ending! The box compares it to Memento, except it's not backwards told.
Ladder 49: Wouldn't it be cool if the building that was on fire was the Scientology HQ on Melrose (or is Sunset)? And John Travolta runs out instead of the kids and people, he has stacks of Dianetics in his hands. That would be totally rad. I would pay to see that. Oh! and Joaquin Phoenix is singing Hey Ya by Outkast all the while trying to remember how he got into the business to begin with, and then concludes: "I'm getting to old for this." Boy that would be the best!
Stage Beauty: I wonder what Chris Rock would say about this particular item. I'm sure he'd love it, but only after the media makes certain they have their sound byte. He'd probably say something to the effect of: "Only straight black men will love this movie!" And then the Israelies and Palestinians will kiss and make up, Travolta's hair mystery will be solved, and my head will explode from such wonderment in this world.
****** Our Staff Recs are disabled at the moment for those glory hogs (oscar nominees) but they should be up in no time.
and that will conclude this week's blog blogger. Get out and get made.
www.vidtheque.com
Monday, February 28, 2005
03:01 (misguided attention)
Hey'all As I stand here being hit by the Y2K, I can't help but laugh. Our computers are acting or reacting to our usage. They must be mad. And you too, must be a little upset, like Marty, over those dreadful, bald Oscars. Yes, yes, we all agree that they should give the man his due, but isn't it better observed when it's really warranted? Not that Clint's effort is much better, but hey, das my onion. After all, I did win the office pool. Now before you go and watch Goodfellas over and over again, read this first: Subterranean Oscar Blues: Easy: Yes she is. And she loves it. And I love it. But if you she only loved me. (tear drop).
Exorcist: The Beginning: The presumably crappier second version of this prequel is out quietly on DVD. The Paul Schrader version, is of course shelved for all damnation. (get it?) Having saved my mony mony cash flow, and missed it in the theater, I'm gonna say either of the two is going to happen: A) There'll be no green vomit (sadly) or B) a gratuitous amount of green vomit in combination with red, red blood. (eh). So whatever the case may be, all of you projectile, vomiting fetishists out there, brace yourself and get the mop ready.
Flight of the Phoenix: Coming in faster than my Mach 3 razor, this action-packed film is ready for take off. Dennis Quaid and others crash in the same desert where Pauly Shore landed, and groove to Outkast. Hey Ya! Oh-Oh! Do you hear that? It's James Stewart turning in his grave.
Incident at Loch Ness: Werner Herzog and Co. star in search of that ancient beast, Nessie! As a documentary crew tags along, we are taken along as things go this way and that way, all in the name of truth! Listen to Herzog's accent and don't blink, otherwise you'll miss the joke.
Spongebob Squarepants Movie: When this came in, these greedy clerks stole this away in hopes to quell their childhood dreams. Spongebob and Patrick are stepping out one their first feature length effort. Filled with more hip guest stars than P. Hilton, and a soundtrack that even the most ardent hipster would gobble, it's safe to say that Spongebob isn't just for kids. It's for maniacs too.
*********** Recs! Our recs have been visciously torn down in an effort to highlight this year's Oscar nominees. We have sanctioned off very sacred space on our shelves for the 5 best pix nods. In their shelf you will find a plethora of discs all related to those involved. So come look for those hidden gems that were directed by Taylor Hackford.
And sadly, that's it. I know it's been weak sauce these past few weeks, but don't worry, it can only get better. Maybe. get out!
www.vidtheque.com
Exorcist: The Beginning: The presumably crappier second version of this prequel is out quietly on DVD. The Paul Schrader version, is of course shelved for all damnation. (get it?) Having saved my mony mony cash flow, and missed it in the theater, I'm gonna say either of the two is going to happen: A) There'll be no green vomit (sadly) or B) a gratuitous amount of green vomit in combination with red, red blood. (eh). So whatever the case may be, all of you projectile, vomiting fetishists out there, brace yourself and get the mop ready.
Flight of the Phoenix: Coming in faster than my Mach 3 razor, this action-packed film is ready for take off. Dennis Quaid and others crash in the same desert where Pauly Shore landed, and groove to Outkast. Hey Ya! Oh-Oh! Do you hear that? It's James Stewart turning in his grave.
Incident at Loch Ness: Werner Herzog and Co. star in search of that ancient beast, Nessie! As a documentary crew tags along, we are taken along as things go this way and that way, all in the name of truth! Listen to Herzog's accent and don't blink, otherwise you'll miss the joke.
Spongebob Squarepants Movie: When this came in, these greedy clerks stole this away in hopes to quell their childhood dreams. Spongebob and Patrick are stepping out one their first feature length effort. Filled with more hip guest stars than P. Hilton, and a soundtrack that even the most ardent hipster would gobble, it's safe to say that Spongebob isn't just for kids. It's for maniacs too.
*********** Recs! Our recs have been visciously torn down in an effort to highlight this year's Oscar nominees. We have sanctioned off very sacred space on our shelves for the 5 best pix nods. In their shelf you will find a plethora of discs all related to those involved. So come look for those hidden gems that were directed by Taylor Hackford.
And sadly, that's it. I know it's been weak sauce these past few weeks, but don't worry, it can only get better. Maybe. get out!
www.vidtheque.com
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
02:22
Hey'all After the sudden demise of our planet earth, and the collapse of the blog systems (consider yourself lucky), I've put my life into perspective recently discovering my bad case of potential TMJ. According to several different accounts, my optic nerve will pop out, my shoulders and neck will disintegrate and lastly, my jaw will eat itself. Oh jeez, as you can see, my nerves are ever so jittery. While I revise my will, here's something for your cinemania: this week's slower than granny:
I heart Huckabees: For some unknown reason, I seem to be the sole consumer of this product who enjoys it. Given that, when I saw it in the theater, it was raining, I was cranky AND I was joined with a group of Cerebal Palsetic persons. Not kidding. It made my laighing heart flutter away. If existentialism, bad hair cuts and David O. Russell is your thing, and I know it is, than it's perfect. Pick up a copy of Blaise Pascal, kick back and enjoy a smart comedy for once. Recommended (regardless of the other Videothequers).
Nausicaa of the Valley & Porco Rosso: Gesundheit! Miyazaki returns by way of Disney with these earlier anime gems. Highly regarded as an anime genius in his native land, US audiences have only begun to admire. Oh man, I swear sometimes I am in the wrong business. Anyways, your kid sister named Noel will love this, so be nice and bring it home for her.
********** Oscar Buzz: Well since everyone's wondering who we're rooting for, including Jennie from the block, next week we'll have our homage to those shameful Acadmey Awards. Everyone's calling it an actual race this year. Whatever. So come on in and see what evil goodness we have displayed on our Royal Blue shelves. See?
that's it. get out.
www.vidtheque.com
I heart Huckabees: For some unknown reason, I seem to be the sole consumer of this product who enjoys it. Given that, when I saw it in the theater, it was raining, I was cranky AND I was joined with a group of Cerebal Palsetic persons. Not kidding. It made my laighing heart flutter away. If existentialism, bad hair cuts and David O. Russell is your thing, and I know it is, than it's perfect. Pick up a copy of Blaise Pascal, kick back and enjoy a smart comedy for once. Recommended (regardless of the other Videothequers).
Nausicaa of the Valley & Porco Rosso: Gesundheit! Miyazaki returns by way of Disney with these earlier anime gems. Highly regarded as an anime genius in his native land, US audiences have only begun to admire. Oh man, I swear sometimes I am in the wrong business. Anyways, your kid sister named Noel will love this, so be nice and bring it home for her.
********** Oscar Buzz: Well since everyone's wondering who we're rooting for, including Jennie from the block, next week we'll have our homage to those shameful Acadmey Awards. Everyone's calling it an actual race this year. Whatever. So come on in and see what evil goodness we have displayed on our Royal Blue shelves. See?
that's it. get out.
www.vidtheque.com
Monday, February 7, 2005
02:08 (Creative Drivel)
Hey'all Good News: I hear rain is on it's way, so you poets get ready to pencil in those thoughts. The water will land atop our heads and ruin many days, but you and I sh'ant worry, for the days that are numbered will soon expire. Not bad eh? Bad news: It may not hit us. Or so Dallas says. And because of that we have to stick to our normal routine. Also, the economy is getting tired and those who can't afford Coachella will sit at home or maybe catch one of those "concerts" at your local Regal Cinema. To each his own. Here's yours:
Bright Young Things: Based on Evelyn Waugh's Vile Bodies, this UK flick features those beautiful young things during the 1930s. No Great Depression there, but a little bit of snobbery. Or so I am projecting. But since I'm a pretty good judge of character, I don't think I'll be too far off. That Emily Mortimer is in this, and if you haven't seen Young Adam, don't, but she's in that too. With good teeth!
Deadwood Season 1: HBO is an unstoppable machine! Can nothing quell it's thirst? NO! Oh well, for those of you who don't have cable, HBO has graciously sent this one out just so you can catch up. From what I hear, they have a pretty good track record, ahem: Sex & the City, Six Feet Under, The Sopranos, Carnivale etc. Oh! And the lead actor just won a fabulous Golden Globe, so it must be damn good! And please rent this, or it'll just sit there like dead wood! HA! (thank Rick for that one)
Miami Vice Season 1: ooooh yeeeaaahh, Tubbs and Crockett are back! Put on your pink polo, roll up those sport-coat sleeves and hop into that hot convertable 'vette... we are going for a stroll! If you miss their badass live show at Universal Studios as much as I do, then this DVD is packed with too much vice! Me moms used to looove Crockett (the Don) when I was young. My elder siblings used to say he was my father, but alas he was not. Oh no, they used to say Tubbs was my daddy. Oh, the humiliation.
The Notebook: Conviently included with each DVD insert is a coupon for a $1 off a box of Kleenex. Hmm, is that a sign? The great Gena Rowlands stars an Alzheimer victim in love with Ryan Gosling. Set during those bad years in America, this love story transcends through decades. Be prepared to cash in on those coupons, and a carton of chunky monkey. Co-starring [Plastic] Rachel McAdams & James Garner. P.S.: Tell me if you like this plot: A romantic story about a late 30's divorced woman who gets to live her fairy tale when she is reunited with a high school sweetheart who had died previously and reincarnated in a mid 20's year old cutie. If only that were possible, Gena Rowlands wouldn't be making you cry so much. Also, tell if that sounds a tad bit like Birth? Well whatver dude, as long Topher Grace commits to his love scene.
Shark Tale: Dare I say it's racist? No. But many did critique it's generalization of peoples, such as Italians. But who cares, eh? I think these days we call it, "personification." Some people need to go back to school. Dreamworks' other animated film that is not that goddamn Shrek, did ok. As I'm sure many of you have seen Los Incredibles and have preffered the latter. But can't a vegetarian shark that is not in Finding Nemo get a break?
* * * * New Recs & Staff Recs! Do you love love? Welps, if you are feeling a tad bit romantic seven days from now, and want to surprise your hun with a gift from the Harry Winston of Video stores, come by a pick up our most romantic films ever! Handpicked by your favorite clerks, any one these will guarantee a special somethin somethin!! Try: Amelie, Pillow Talk, City Lights, or Punch-Drunk Love.
Are you feeling lonely? Well, get cosy with our Unhappy Valentine's Day selection. We've scoured our thirty x twenty video store and brought forth some of the most depressing, anti-love stories there are. Handpicked by your favorite, albeit sick, video clerks, any one of these will guarantee a special feeling called contempt! Try: Faces, Scenes From a Marriage, Hollywood Madame, and the all-time classic, Fatal Attraction.
Rick: Trash: No, he's not saying this films are trash, but rather they have trash in them! Who knows why the fascination with garbage, but come by and humor him. Featuring: The Garbage Pail Kids, sex lies & videotape, and Ratcatcher.
Meg: Righteous Puke Scenes: Love vomit? Meg does, so see her top ten that include that nasty substance supermodels love to show. I'm still unclear as to what makes it righteous, but hell, who cares? Try Jackass, Trainspotting or the queen of them all, The Exorcist.
Elise: The Slippery Slope: Faulty logic, one thing leads to another, the domino effect? It's all in here. Come see how when one thing goes, they all do. I think. Say: Touching the Void, Bird, Othello and Faust.
Andy: Meditations on Art (we'll miss you Susan Sontag): After the death of Ms. Sontag, Andy's obsequiously attempts to salute the late Susan Sontag. Featuring films that somehow discuss art in all it's forms, come see the idle chatter flurish. Try: Art:21, Basquiat, and the appropriate Mindwalk.
Mark: Dazzling Debuts: Mark is still in love with the firsts of many past and contemporary masters. Lucky start? Nah, see for yourself. 400 Blows, Badlands, and the grandaddy of em all, Citizen Kane. that should do it for us. Our catalog is getting bigger while the walls are getting smaller, so check in and find out.
Enjoy the evening and don't be afraid of the water.
www.vidtheque.com
Bright Young Things: Based on Evelyn Waugh's Vile Bodies, this UK flick features those beautiful young things during the 1930s. No Great Depression there, but a little bit of snobbery. Or so I am projecting. But since I'm a pretty good judge of character, I don't think I'll be too far off. That Emily Mortimer is in this, and if you haven't seen Young Adam, don't, but she's in that too. With good teeth!
Deadwood Season 1: HBO is an unstoppable machine! Can nothing quell it's thirst? NO! Oh well, for those of you who don't have cable, HBO has graciously sent this one out just so you can catch up. From what I hear, they have a pretty good track record, ahem: Sex & the City, Six Feet Under, The Sopranos, Carnivale etc. Oh! And the lead actor just won a fabulous Golden Globe, so it must be damn good! And please rent this, or it'll just sit there like dead wood! HA! (thank Rick for that one)
Miami Vice Season 1: ooooh yeeeaaahh, Tubbs and Crockett are back! Put on your pink polo, roll up those sport-coat sleeves and hop into that hot convertable 'vette... we are going for a stroll! If you miss their badass live show at Universal Studios as much as I do, then this DVD is packed with too much vice! Me moms used to looove Crockett (the Don) when I was young. My elder siblings used to say he was my father, but alas he was not. Oh no, they used to say Tubbs was my daddy. Oh, the humiliation.
The Notebook: Conviently included with each DVD insert is a coupon for a $1 off a box of Kleenex. Hmm, is that a sign? The great Gena Rowlands stars an Alzheimer victim in love with Ryan Gosling. Set during those bad years in America, this love story transcends through decades. Be prepared to cash in on those coupons, and a carton of chunky monkey. Co-starring [Plastic] Rachel McAdams & James Garner. P.S.: Tell me if you like this plot: A romantic story about a late 30's divorced woman who gets to live her fairy tale when she is reunited with a high school sweetheart who had died previously and reincarnated in a mid 20's year old cutie. If only that were possible, Gena Rowlands wouldn't be making you cry so much. Also, tell if that sounds a tad bit like Birth? Well whatver dude, as long Topher Grace commits to his love scene.
Shark Tale: Dare I say it's racist? No. But many did critique it's generalization of peoples, such as Italians. But who cares, eh? I think these days we call it, "personification." Some people need to go back to school. Dreamworks' other animated film that is not that goddamn Shrek, did ok. As I'm sure many of you have seen Los Incredibles and have preffered the latter. But can't a vegetarian shark that is not in Finding Nemo get a break?
* * * * New Recs & Staff Recs! Do you love love? Welps, if you are feeling a tad bit romantic seven days from now, and want to surprise your hun with a gift from the Harry Winston of Video stores, come by a pick up our most romantic films ever! Handpicked by your favorite clerks, any one these will guarantee a special somethin somethin!! Try: Amelie, Pillow Talk, City Lights, or Punch-Drunk Love.
Are you feeling lonely? Well, get cosy with our Unhappy Valentine's Day selection. We've scoured our thirty x twenty video store and brought forth some of the most depressing, anti-love stories there are. Handpicked by your favorite, albeit sick, video clerks, any one of these will guarantee a special feeling called contempt! Try: Faces, Scenes From a Marriage, Hollywood Madame, and the all-time classic, Fatal Attraction.
Rick: Trash: No, he's not saying this films are trash, but rather they have trash in them! Who knows why the fascination with garbage, but come by and humor him. Featuring: The Garbage Pail Kids, sex lies & videotape, and Ratcatcher.
Meg: Righteous Puke Scenes: Love vomit? Meg does, so see her top ten that include that nasty substance supermodels love to show. I'm still unclear as to what makes it righteous, but hell, who cares? Try Jackass, Trainspotting or the queen of them all, The Exorcist.
Elise: The Slippery Slope: Faulty logic, one thing leads to another, the domino effect? It's all in here. Come see how when one thing goes, they all do. I think. Say: Touching the Void, Bird, Othello and Faust.
Andy: Meditations on Art (we'll miss you Susan Sontag): After the death of Ms. Sontag, Andy's obsequiously attempts to salute the late Susan Sontag. Featuring films that somehow discuss art in all it's forms, come see the idle chatter flurish. Try: Art:21, Basquiat, and the appropriate Mindwalk.
Mark: Dazzling Debuts: Mark is still in love with the firsts of many past and contemporary masters. Lucky start? Nah, see for yourself. 400 Blows, Badlands, and the grandaddy of em all, Citizen Kane. that should do it for us. Our catalog is getting bigger while the walls are getting smaller, so check in and find out.
Enjoy the evening and don't be afraid of the water.
www.vidtheque.com
Monday, January 31, 2005
02:01 (days numbered)
Hey'all Every get the feeling that anything you do or ask for never goes your way? Yeah, well I don't, but for those of you who do: don't fret, life's nothing but a big bowl of pudding waiting to be licked up. Ask Mr. Cosby, he would know. *Sigh* Life isn't fair sometimes, but oh well. Just don't let your guard down, otherwise those younger than you will step and steal your glory. Once again, I turn to Mr. Cosby for that one. Go on. The oh-shit, I'm gonna close soon version!
The Grudge: I still have mine from Melanie Reyes back in high school. She laughed at me when I sent her a note asking to check a box to see whether or not she liked me. Boo. Oh well, redemption is on my side now, knowing she will suffer a very Japanese, frightening and unbeleivable death. Yay for mytho-faith!
Ray: Everybody loves this guy, well except for Nikki Finke. I'm sure you suckers will gobble this up, so no needs on my part to explain this one. Think Foxx will win? Nah, but it's an honor nonetheless, eh?
Shall We Dance(s): Yes, that would be plural. Both the American and Japanese versions hit the plastic tomorrow. My guess is avoid JLo and go for Tamiyo Kusakari. She's bound to be less annoying and even less to bounce you away with her big ass. Oh and let's not forget R. Gere's rodent problem.
She Hate Me: This title does not refer to the critic's reaction to Spike Lee's latest joint. Truth be told, I don't know what this is about except some MAN screwing up woman's lives. I avoided this one even though it had Ms. Bellucci in it, simply because me believe in proper grammer.
Vanity Fair: Mira Nair's latest featuring the Oscar Hopeful Reese Witherspoon. A decadent, lush period piece that will surely appeal to those who dine on the early bird special. Based on the Thackery novel you didn't read in high school, this film traces Witherspoon's rags to riches story. Mine's currently in production.
*** Short and Sweet eh? New staff Recs next week, new product, new fun! YAY!
www.vidtheque.com
The Grudge: I still have mine from Melanie Reyes back in high school. She laughed at me when I sent her a note asking to check a box to see whether or not she liked me. Boo. Oh well, redemption is on my side now, knowing she will suffer a very Japanese, frightening and unbeleivable death. Yay for mytho-faith!
Ray: Everybody loves this guy, well except for Nikki Finke. I'm sure you suckers will gobble this up, so no needs on my part to explain this one. Think Foxx will win? Nah, but it's an honor nonetheless, eh?
Shall We Dance(s): Yes, that would be plural. Both the American and Japanese versions hit the plastic tomorrow. My guess is avoid JLo and go for Tamiyo Kusakari. She's bound to be less annoying and even less to bounce you away with her big ass. Oh and let's not forget R. Gere's rodent problem.
She Hate Me: This title does not refer to the critic's reaction to Spike Lee's latest joint. Truth be told, I don't know what this is about except some MAN screwing up woman's lives. I avoided this one even though it had Ms. Bellucci in it, simply because me believe in proper grammer.
Vanity Fair: Mira Nair's latest featuring the Oscar Hopeful Reese Witherspoon. A decadent, lush period piece that will surely appeal to those who dine on the early bird special. Based on the Thackery novel you didn't read in high school, this film traces Witherspoon's rags to riches story. Mine's currently in production.
*** Short and Sweet eh? New staff Recs next week, new product, new fun! YAY!
www.vidtheque.com
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