04:11 (greatest blog ever blogged)

Hey all

Don't hold me to it. After many false starts and listening for moans on a Disney disc, which admittedly had me fooled for a brief second, I doubt this will be the greatest blog ever blogged. One can dream. After a day of more protests, demonstrations and flag waiving (viva la raza), I'm pooped. Thankfully, this week doesn't look good-- although you should still drop bucks here-- and I can rest just a smidgeon. Enjoy your evening.

Kerry is a backstabber (ouch):

Fun with Dick and Jane: I'm guessing the fun didn't come until the movie was over. Hell, if this was a date movie, I guess there was nooooo fun with dick or jane that entire night. Sorry pimp, but you should of took her to Pride and Prejudice to show her your softer, gentler side. Of course, you would need to remove the chains from your neck, they blind her a tad bit too much. On the brighter side, date movies should be more like this, then all the incessant suffering would end.

Greatest Game Ever Played: Listen up pimps. This is a documentary based on my sex life. Take notes! See, when you go brown, you're the toast of the town. I'm just kidding, it's only loosely inspired by my life. Just kidding again. We can all rejoice now, for those of you thinking we didn't have enough films about golf. If golf ain't the most boringst sport that's not a sport ever, than this movie shant be the most boringst movie about the most boringst sport that's not a sport. You can add this to the collection right next to: The Legend of Baggar Vance, Tin Cup, Follow the Sun, Caddyshack (yeah, yeah I don't care what you say this movie sucks), Happy Gilmore, and the best of all, Bobby Jones Streak of Genius. Oh, rejoice.

An Unfinished Life: Critics called this an unfinished movie, I can't say I disagree but for all you Redford/Lopez tag team fans, this has got your names written all over it. If Redford got married to J.Lo and took her last name, he could be RoLo! or she could be J.Re! I think I like that one better.
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We have some new staff recs!! but I'll divulge next week.

worst blog ever.
www.vidtheque.com

04:04 (ups to you)

Hey'all

After being on the verge of everybody's favorite civic duty, jury selection--yay, I sit here getting spanked by my two loveliest of devils. A pleasant consolation prize, I must say. So these little devils, Nerual and Ineere, like to stand by the way side waiting for many opportunities to let those little mouths rant about Gael and their hand go swoooooooping. Ouch. muy simpatico. Anyways, wetheads came running and I'm late for church.

up yours judicial system!!

Brokeback Mountain: I'll stay away from all those incessant gay cowboy jokes that think they're funny. I like to think I have a better sense of humor than that, although many thequers would disagree 199% of the time. I know y'all bitched and moaned about the oscar upset, but no more than Dianna Ossana who flanked all over tv pissing and moaning...and maybe she's right. But I'll tell you why Crash won the oscar that night: Ludacris. He could've spinned "wish I could quit you" into a phat beat, biatches.

Chronicles of Narnia: I think it would of made beaucoux bucks had it been titled "Chronic of Narnia." Ludacris would of been in da house wit dat shit. Unfortunately, we got this C.S. Lewis adaptation that's got spindly brits running for over two hours. I seem to have a slight confusion. I always think of A Wrinkle in Time. Now that book kicks lion's ass.

New York Doll: A big hoopla is made over Arthur Kane being Mormon. Nothing wrong with that. They should've focused more on the cross dressing.. now that's scary.

President's Last Bang: A new documentary on Bill Clinton and the White House Se... psych!! Some Korean flick that looks hella coool.

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New Staff Recs next week, as well as our new trivia feature. Be a nerd, it's pretty darn cool.

www.vidtheque.com

03:14 (chill out)

Hey gang

On the news that Paris courts will try a young rapper for inciting riots, I've made it my mission to do the same here at the 'teque. Pretty soon you'll be able to hear my country-ass croonin' about my lost dog, broken truck and my two-bit wife leaving me for that dastardly Erl, yes my friends, the mullet's back in town. After my record drops, that's when you'll see some real riots.

sucka:

Good Night and Good Luck: David Strathairn's a real bad ass. Especially as that real bad ass Eddie Murrow. Watch Joe McCarthy and that little thing on his forehead he calls hair, crumble as Murrow shoots his own words back at that ass. I think that's why he was soooo mad. Oh poor Elia.

A History of Violence: Cronenberg comes back to kickass force after that not-so-great Spider with Viggo riding shotgun. Part mystery, part that-was-cool, it's got good thriller written all over it. I like to think that when my gig here is done, I will move to small town and smash somebody's nose in too.

Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio: With a title like that who wouldn't want to watch this? I asked my friend from Ohio if there's a town named Defiance and she said hell now, but youngstown where it's at. If you ever there, check out Ant's on the River, I hear it's great.

The Simple Life 3: Interns: Normally, when I hear the name Paris, I swallow the lump in my throat, but today...I won't even go there.

Townes Van Zandt: Be Here To Love Me: Another country crooner makes the grade. Only this time, he's good.
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New Staff Recs!

Mark: Kiss Me I'm Irish: Mark has chosen a slew of discs which make a nice shelf of green. It's questionable if Klaus Kinski is really Irish, but hell, it's St. Patty's!
Rick: Ridin on the Metro: Tell Terry Nunnshe's owed a royalty check. These movies all got the subway involved one way or another, although he is missing End of Days...
Andy: The Green-Eyed Monster: Jealousy also belongs to March and she's pissed as hell.
Gracie: Mo Money Mo Problems: You're telling me.
Phamdigity: Take a picture, it'll last longer: All photogs are encouraged to ask Phammer's to pose for them. But it's got to be tasteful.

that's it!
www.vidtheque.com

02:21 (one is leaving)

Hey dudes

So have it. I'm home and moved in. Soon y'all be coming over to see a beaded goodness as well as some new house paint. Megs and gracie can relate with all this satanic panic in the attic, we're bound to go crrrraaaaazzzzzyyyyy. (<---- see?) In any case, count yourself lucky you weren't that dude that Cheney shot on "accident." I see it metaphorically. You know when he fired that gun, he was soooooo aiming at the people of america. Ah, well, you'll get 'em next time tiger.

william tell overture:

Domino: See, yet another metaphor. Once one falls, kerplunk!there goes the neighborhood. Panned by critics but that shouldn't stop you, Domino has Kiera Knightley in a an ass-kicking mood ready to plow with Mickey Rourke (who happens to look a lot like Gary Lang) and hunt down those terrible criminals. Now with the amount of violence and can I say writing talent, this picture should be the top of the most wanted list. But again don't let that stop you.

Left of the Dial: It's not the post punk chronicles, but the ideological war of words. Leftists unite to listen to Al Franken and all those other goddamn liberals on Air America. And Frankenly, you should too.

North Country: I once heard someone give these formulas for easy oscars:
For docs: make a Holocaust picture.
For actresses: get ugly.
For directing: Make sure you're last name is either Howard or Eastwood, not Scorsese.
Anyways, number two seems to be pretty right. Halle Berry did it, and of course Charlize reeeealllllyyyyy did it, but here she's going for the repeat. She's got the nod, all she needs are the votes. Man, by this rule, Fay Dunaway's got nothin on me.

Rent: We can sing! I love that dude from Law & Order. Jesse L. Martin should just sing the theme song in Rent and nothing else. (For your convience, you can find it here: http://www.tripletsandus.com/80s/tv_theme_wav.htm ) Listen to it and love it. And don't worry, nobody's looking when you are doin the air guitar.

The Weatherman: I heard tings. Good tings. It's not every day that the lead character gets coke thrown on him. AND it's not every day that Nic Coppola Cage gets coke thrown on him, although some would argue it should be. That's mean, you bastards.
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Staff Pix:

Lauren's halfway there. But no movies, yet. Sheeesh.

**Thanks to those who showed up at our Anti-Valentine's day gig. Hope we left you feeling warm fuzzies inside.

www.vidtheque.com

02:14 (heart's content)

Hey'all

So here we are on the eve of the most hated days of all.....Tuesday! No, no, you know what I mean. Of course it's Valentine's Day. Now, I don't want to hear any moping from you, unless you are mourning Nam Jun Paik's death two weeks ago (look him up, it's worth it). It is a day to celebrate and laugh at all those suckers who give into the corporate fleecing of america just so you can get a little somethin-somethin. It ain't worth it boy, well unless you really doooo love her. Now, this isn't me being a sourpuss, just say...a realist. So if you hate tuesdays, see waaaaaay below for any awesome night's events.

let me count the ways:

Cake: Not Layercake, not fruit cake, not even pie! Heathe Graham's latest STV gives us a new splash on love! It's almost if My Best Friend's Wedding, Wedding Date, and any other wedding romantic comedy made it, and this is what you wish you didn't get. And that my friends, was a run-on sentence.

Lost Embrace: Lord knows I love the Argentinians (check Holy Girl and Bottom of the Sea) but the cover on this disc is freeeeeaaaakkkkyyyy. The girl looks like a cracked-out Annie looking to do anything for a hit. Suffice to say it's not the most flattering picture, something like my damn sexy yearbook photo.

Mirrormask: From the twisted minds of Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean comes what makes little nerds scream!! Jim Henson studio gave a helping hand on this wierd world of who know's what. And that my friends, it aliteration at it's best.

nine lives: I will probably get a lot of heat for this, but humor me a litte: The name of this film is nine lives, which feature nine different women. Derrida tells us to look at the term nine lives and read into it Barthian style and conclude that nine lives signifies a feline...yes?...which is an overall symbol for femininity...yes?...So is it really a clever title or way too easy of answer? damn.

Saw II: Dude....I'm saw there.

Zathura: I can't say this title without sound like that "wolf" dude. "ZZAathuuurraaa!!!" Jumanji kicked ass, just ask Rick, he'll tell you the same. Now come ZZAathuuurraaa!!! but no Rhinos in this one.
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New staff Recs!
Mark: My bloody Valentine: Mark's getting into it and you should too. Try Detour, Leave her to heaven or My Bloody Valentine, Live!
Rick: Chris Penn 1965-2006: Our hearts go out to the Penns, whose brother was really an underrated actor.
Andy: Public Interventions: Take one part prank, two parts Situationists and you get these hoodlums that change everyday-often neglected parts of life.
Megs: Dying Alone: God, this is soooo goth. I don't think she's saying something quietly, but maybe she's trying to tell you something.
Gracie: No More...films about dystopia: Apocalypse, doomsday, big brother and even dystopia are on Grace's thoughts. Somebody help her.
Lauren: She doesn't have a new one cos she sits on her ass. Got off your ass Lauren!
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VALENTINE'S DAY MASSACRE!!!

Come to the Huron Substation tomorrow for a special screening of the Neo-Noir classic, THE KILLERS!!

Drinks at 7
Film at 9
$5 (suggested)

go to: www.vidtheque.com for details.

goodbye and lay off the rocky road!!

Valentine's Day Massacre!! 2/14 THE KILLERS (1964) screening

01:31 (belated/weekend)

Hey all

Yeah, yeah I know we've, er I've been slacking on this here thingy, but let me tell you my friend, these sweet hands haven't been lonely. They've been busy writing for $15,000, so give a guy (or girl) a break. So enough ballyhoo, here's what you missed because we are such slackers!

agaetis byrun:

Corpse Bride: This babe is hot, I only wish that my little lady will take on a similar appearance on the happiest days of our lives (I will break for you to scoff) Ok. But teased kid/adult goth Tim Burton returns to his love of meticulous working processes with his bride. Any chance that Vincent Price has a voice cameo in this one too?

In Her Shoes: It ain't her shoes I wanna get into! Oh mna, that was way too easy. But Toni Collette likes to fight with Cameron Diaz, Shirley Maclane is still feisty, and your boyfriend hates for making him see this movie.

Legend of Zorro: I ain't even gonna try.

The Virgin Spring: My main man Bergman gets his when the good ol folks at Criterion have finally released The Virgin Spring on slick-ass DVD. Wes Craven, you are so not worthy.

The War Within: The world ain't what it used to be. A Pakistani (substituting for an Arab, Iranian, Iraqi, etc) has a sudden break in morality when he's set to bomb NYC. Conscience is a bitch sometimes.

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Many A New Things A Happening!!

First: If you haven't been by in sometime, swing by and enjoy our new look! Yup, we've updated our shelves (a whole foot taller, sorry shorty), put in a bunch of new sections and directors (i.e. William Klein, Bardot, Nolan, Anders, etc) and even went to trouble of hanging some new posters. They're big, beautiful and heavy as hell.
Second: Staff picks next week!
Third: Don't be lame! Do something this Valentine's Day. On the dreaded day in question, we will be screening The Killers as part of our Valentine's Day Massacre! Tuesday 2/14/06 Huron 9pm Substation, more details soon.

www.vidtheque.com