New Releases for July 28th, or Nappy Time!

I know. I know. I know. I said I had big news for this week, but the powers that be told me I might have to delay the news an other week. It breaks my heart too.

It's been a lazy and slow week at the Vidyatheque. Nothing too spectacular. This is pretty evident in our lack of exciting new releases. But hey! Look on the bright side: now it's the perfect time to watch an older film you've never seen.

I just ate a big lunch with a couple of beers and I'm ready to take a nap. Before I crawl into a fetal position and take a cat nap, let's look at this week's new releases.

NEW RELEASES:

Battlestar Galactica S. 4.5: Battlestar Galactica use to be for the pathetically proud pocket-protector peons who prided themselves on their knowledge of Dr. Who and Monty Python. Now everyone is plum loco over this show. It has my homeboy Edward "Stand and Deliver" Olmos, so I'll get around to watching it some day. For the rest of you rent it now. Now! NOW!!!

Big Man Japan: I don't know what this movie is or what a "Japan" is, but the back cover disgusts and horrorfies me on all sorts of levels.

Fast & Furious: There was someone who use to work here that would watch a film just because it had his homegirl Michelle Williams. By default, this movie is going to be great in his eyes. I would take his advice because this former co-worked of mine was one cool cat.

OTHER NEW RELEASES:

Alice's House
Ballerina
Bart Got a Room
Bomb It (Graffiti Art)
Carmen & Geoffrey
Chandhi Chowk to China
Close Encounters of the Third Kind (Blu)
Death Becomes Her
Fast & Furious (Blu)
Female Vampires
Garrison Keillor: The Man on the Radio in the Red Shoes (Take a trip to Lake Wobegon)
The Inglorious Bastards (Blu) (See where Tarantino took the name "The Inglorious BASTERDS" from!)
Made in USA (Criterion)
Ma Saison Super 8
Michael Jackson/Live in Japan
Pushing Daisies S.2
Rogopag (Godard, Pasolini, Rossellini, and Grogoretti get together for this four part directors showcase)
This is Spinal Tap (Blu)
Two or Three Things I Know About Her (Criterion)
The Union

THIS CONCLUDES OUR WEEK:

Now here are the links 'n' such. Now here comes Mr. Sandman ready to take me away on the nappy time express. Bye bye.
www.vidtheque.com
vidtheque.blogspot.com

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Zzzzzzzzzzzz...

New Releases for July 21st, or One Year Older.

Next week is my birthday. It's pretty amazing I've been alive for this long. I've been through dozens of nuclear threats, terrorism, depressions, angry girlfriends, stomach problems, drunken fights, disgruntled coworkers, car accidents and cyber-terroism. So, to sum it all down to one phrase: feels good, man.

I'm going to celebrate the anniversary of my birth by writing this weeks blog.

This weeks blog is dedicated to me. Happy Birthday me!

NEW RELEASES: Coraline: It's nice to know that the world of animation is completely dominated by the CGI worlds of Dreamworks, Pixar, Disney and Fox. What we get is an old fashioned stop-motion animated film with excellent character designs, fun story and a scene of neat fog effects. Don't forget, Fantastic Mr. Fox is coming out later this year too, so it's a good year for stop-motion enthusiasts!

The Great Buck Howard: I don't know what this film is about or who Buck Howard is or what a "mentalist" is, but this movie gets my seal of approval for putting Ricky Jay on the cover. Actually, he's in The Brothers Bloom which I didn't really care for. Scratch that! I remove my seal from this film!

The Might Boosh: I really thought they would've stop making Bush documentaries half a year since they gave him the ol' boot, but here we are! This one doesn't look like your typical one though. This has a lot of men in drag and bright colors. It probably focuses on his cocaine years in the seventies where his focus was on getting high and listening to prog rock all day.

Sherman's Way: A sequel to the ever-popular documentary "Sherman's March".

Watchmen: I haven't seen this film because when it was released in theaters, Watchmen creator Alan Moore (who removed his name from the credits) said that he would "spit venom all over it". I don't have a death wish so I'll hold off on watching this until Alan Moore is at a range to not spit on me.

OTHER NEW RELEASES/NEW INVENTORY:

Burning the Future
Che Part.2: The Argentine (Part 2 comes out next month!)
Confessions of a Shopaholic (Blu-Ray)
Coraline (Blu-Ray)
The Drummer
Filth and Wisdom
Jonas Brothers: The Concert Experience
Killshot (Mickey Rourke's much delayed action film)
Mia and the Migoo
Michel Gondry 2 More Videos (including his Rubik's Cube epic)
The Midnight Special: Live in 1976
My Dinner with Jimi
One Week
On the Road with Judas
Pretty Woman (Blu-Ray)
The Ring Finger
Robot Chicken: Star Wars II
Unknown Woman
Watchmen (Blu-Ray)
Wolverine and the X-Men

THAT'S IT!:
We have big news (or I think it's big news), but we're saving it for next week perhaps. Is it Earth shattering? I like to think so. Stay tuned next week!
www.vidtheque.com
vidtheque.blogspot.com



Working is the only way to keep cool.

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Tip your waiter. ALWAYS.

Also, is it me, or are these not really morals anymore?

New Releases for July 14th, or My Arm is Dislocated!

I'm writing this blog away from Videotheque this week. In fact, I'm not even in California. I'm in a hospital in the Philippines.

I've gotten severely depressed with my law and relationship problems back in the states, so I went to Hong Kong (don't ask why) and gorged myself with non-stop partying, eating, and substance abuse of all kinds.

After a few days, I found myself on a freight-ship heading toward Japan. I was told I've been sold into cheap slave labor and was being forced to work for a fish manufacturing company (this one specialized in Bonito).

After a few days of grueling labor with nothing to eat but rice so watery that it was almost like soup, I ran away from the factory. I kept running and running until my legs couldn't handle the pressure anymore. I ended up passing out in front of a judo dojo. The dojo's sensei, Master Nakagawa, took me in, gave me some water and food to restore my energy. I told him nothing less than I owe my life to him. He decided to take me under his wing and train me like I was his own son.

Now, I'm in the Philippines working my way to the top tier in a judo championship. Things were going great until I dislocated my right arm. I'll give you guys the 411 with how things are going next week, so stay logged on and keep on keepin' on (whatever that means).

NEW RELEASES:

Edge of Love: This movie is about the poet Dave Thomas and how he quit making poetry, fell in love with two women and created a famous fast food restaurant out of nothing.

Grey Gardens: I feel tremendous amounts of guilt for saying I've never seen the classic version and now I will feel more amounts of guilt for saying I refuse to see this one because I haven't seen the original. Does that make sense? Anyways, do you like senile old ladies and funny hats? Then this rental is right up your alley!

Hauting in Conneticut: The cover has some kid throwing up something gnarly. He must've just came back from Tommy's and ate one of those chili tamales. I know how that kid feels.

Man Men S.2: You must be MAD if you're not renting this one! Hahahaha! See what I did right there!? That's called a pun! So, where were we? Ah, yes! The Mad Men! With this, continue the story of ad men and their busty secretaries and catch on the craze the rest of American caught onto a year ago.

The State: Remember when MTV wouldn't air reality shows about teens and their problems? I don't. I'm only ten. For those older than me, get on board the nostalgia train and rent The State and enjoy the memories of your youth.

Welcome to Macintosh: Hahaha! Screw you Macintosh! I write this blog from a PC! What are you going to do about it, huh? Are you going to make a documentary about that? Let's just see you try!

OTHER NEW RELEASES AND NEW INVENTORY:

12
Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves
Anthony Bourdain/No Reservations S.4
Body Heat (Blu)
Eyes Wide Shut (Blu)
Futurama: Bender's Game
Hamburger Hill
The Howl/L'Urlo
Mad Men S.2 (Blu)
M'Enage/Evening Dress
The Midnight Special
Midsomer Murders
Nursery University
Sleepy Eyes of Death Quadrology
Trail of the Lonesome Pine
Wild Side (95) (Lesbian drama with a Christopher Walken touch)
Wire in the Blood S.6
Young & Handsome (Jeff Garlin standup)

WELL THERE'S NO MORE NEWS OR UPDATES:

Is that a good thing or bad? There's that old saying that no news is good news, but that just seems like a cop-out of an answer!

Well, bye-bye now!
www.vidtheque.com
vidtheque.blogspot.com

Shirts are colorful!

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Don't ask people if they hate you. They'll hate you for asking that question.

New Releases for July 7th, or I Gotta Go!

The police are at my door today, so I don't really have time to chat or go into details in this weeks blog.

All my reviews are going to be only one-sentence each. It helps that there aren't so many new releases this week., too.

Okay! I got to hurry, I'm not sure how long my door can handle a battering ram!

NEW RELEASES:

Knowing: Knowing is half the battle and I still know Nicholas Cage is balding at a rapid rate.

Push: When push comes to shove, Hollywood makes cheesy thrillers with guns and magic or some junk.

The Unborn: This film was funded by the Planed Parenthood Federation of America.

OTHER NEW RELEASES AND NEW INVENTORY:
John Barrymore collection including The Tempest, Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde, Sherlock Holmes and The Beloved Rogue
Brotherhood S.1
Homicide - Life on the Streets S.3
Le Jupon Rouge
Lonely Are the Brave (Kurt Douglas and Gena Rowlands)
Major League
Out City Dreams
Penguins of Madagascar
Punk in England
Punk in London
Reno 911! S.6
The Russia House
Sahara (original with Humphrey Bogart)
Teddy Bear (Mis) (Polish comedy)
Under Fire

BYE:

Bye
www.vidtheque.com
vidtheque.blogspot.com

A cockroach stole my camera and decided to take a photo with it. That diabolical demon!

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Don't do the crime if you can't do the crime.

New Releases for June 30th, or A Week in the News

Man, oh man. Gee golly. Holy mackarel. Last week was a week for news, huh?

Oh! You say you don't read the paper or watch television and that you'd prefer to rent DVD's and Blu-Rays? That's great! It means we make a profit and I get to keep my job! Well, for you movie watching types, let me fill you in on the happenings of the week:

Madness in Iran: When a rigged election happens in the US, a bunch of second rate filmmakers make documentaries about how bad Bush is. When a rigged election happens in Iran, innocent people go protest, get shot and have their death video uploaded on YouTube.

North Korea and the Nukes: North Korea, always ready to brag about their non-existent supremacy over all other East Asian countries, is claiming that if the UN inspects their ships the UN believes they are loaded with nuclear missles, Kim Jong Il will take it as a declaration of war. I think we should try to reach some agreement where no one gets nuked and Kim Jong Il continues to have a healthy supply of old lady sunglasses before the world becomes "Gravity's Rainbow".

The Death of Ed McMahon: I'll remember him always courtesy of Phil Hartman's great imitation. I just remember his character always being drunk and always yelling "You are correct, sir!".

The Death of Farrah Fawcett: Suddenly, I feel very dirty having her poster still pinned up next to my bed.

The Death of Michael Jackson: Unless he was accused of molestation, nobody really cared about him since the early nineties. Now suddenly he's dead, everyone's a fan. Amazon sold out of his albums within fifteen minutes of the new. No respect for the dead, huh?

The Death of Billy Mays: All the chubby, bearded men of America are convening at Billy Mays' star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The wait in line is four hours. His star is also the shiniest in the whole street courtesey of OxiClean. "Stains? What stains?". Rest in piece ol' buddy.

NEW RELEASES:
So, let's forget about the horrors of the world. Instead let's look at this week's new releases:

Kaidan: I don't know anything about foreign cultures or other languages, but I do know that "kaidan" means ghost story. If you like ghost stories I would watch this, but for the weak hearted or weak bladdered, I don't reccomend it.

Tokyo!: This movie is not called "Tokyo". It's called "Tokyo!". My main men Gondry, Carax, and that guy who made "The Host" all have their own idea of how Tokyo is! Also, it's a film about women turning into chairs and people ordering pizza and not about Japan's unstable economic situation, their increasing low birth rate and the many social issues. Sounds fun!

Two Lovers: A customer whose judgement I trust said that this film was "excellent, but very dark". A relationship movie that's "dark"? Sounds awesome! I'm getting tired of these "Bride Wars" and "Made of Honor" and "Father of the Bride" type films. Where's the movie for the person whose relationships never work out, huh!? This sounds like it may be it.

OTHER NEW RELEASES/NEW ARRIVALS:

28 Days
Absolute Power (Clint Eastwood)
Entourage S.5
Inspector Gadget 1&2 (The live-action version)
Picking Up the Pieces
Prefontaine
Punk in England
RIP! (doc.)
Robot Chicken S.3
Secret Diary of a Call Girl S.2
A Song of Innocence

FOURTH OF JULY:

Before you get full of meat and beer and then accidentally hurt yourself with fireworks you bought in Tijuana, know that Videotheque will be open, but ONLY UNTIL 8 PM. We also want to get full of meat (except the Vegetarians) and beer and then accidentally hurt ourselves, too!

ADIEU:

See you next week!
www.vidtheque.com
vidtheque.blogspot.com

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Please don't use illegal fireworks. True story: 4th of July, 1992, my father (completely sober mind you) was lighting illegal fireworks and accidentally held one too long. It ended up popping in his hand. He suffered some minor burns and instead of going to a hospital, he just put ice and water on it instead. He was lucky enough not to blow off a finger.

Our collage of photos while a customer shops on.

New Releases for June 22nd, or All Summer Long!

You feel that?

Huh....

You don't? Well, it's the summer heat and it's here to torture us for the next few months. We're feelin' it, that's fo' sho. All the kids and teens are coming in earlier now that school is done. Maybe you should come by too.

So grab you lady or man, a glass of lemonade, a pair of trunks or a bikini and a beach chair and chill out in our perfectly air conditioned store. Rent something while your at it too!

NEW RELEASES:

Confessions of the Shopaholic: I was a really bad shopaholic, but just had to go cold turkey. After some heavy withdrawals and minor freaking out, I was cured. Still... everytime I step into a shopping mall, I get really bad shakes. I just have to be strong and take it one day at a time. Be strong. Be strong.

Last Year at Marienbad: I wish I could say what this film was about, but I'm not sure if I completely understood it. You should rent it and pretend you knew what it was all about just to impress me. Then again, I'm a nobody. Why would you want to impress li'l ol' me?

My Dinner with Andre: It's strange to think a movie that's totally dependent on dialougue could've existed. Anyways, while watching this, I kept remembering the MDWA action figues from "Waiting for Guffman" and the MDWA video game from The Simpsons where the options are "Bon Mot", "Trenchant Insight", and "Tell Me More" (all phrases never uttered in the film).

Pink Panther 2: Wait? Peter Sellers isn't doing these anymore? Wait!? He's dead!?

Tom and Jerry: The Chuck Jones Collection: I don't like the cat's face (is he Tom or Jerry?). It prevents me from being able to enjoy this DVD.

Waltz with Bashir: I was ready to get down and boogie with this film. Turned out it had nothing to do with dancing. It's about war in the middle east! You can't dance to that (and lord knows I've tried). What a jib!

OTHER NEW RELEASES/RECENT ARRIVALS:

Air Force One (The president of the USA fights terroists)
The Banana Splits complete series (Re-live those Saturday mornings)
The Bronx is Burning (Baseball drama)
Crawford (Bush is gone, but we still get docs about him)
Danielson: A Family Movie (music by Danielson Famile and Sufjan Stevens)
Danny Gans at the Mirage
Dillinger (73) (Prepare for next month's "Public Enemies")
Harry Potter series on Blu-Ray
Iron Maiden/Flight 666 (the number of the beast)
I Can't Belive I'm Still Single (doc about his lonely adventures)
Louise Bourgeois: The Spider, the Mistress, and the Tangerine (doc on title artist)
Problem Child (John Ritter comedy)
Tomcats

REC SECTS:

So, the signs aren't up yet, but the clerks couldn't wait and decided to put their sections up early. They were promptly terminated.

Mark A's "Celebrate the Independence of American with Explosions!": Mark A. loves this country so much, he's blowing up a small portion of it (with fireworks I hope). Before the feds arrest him at his country cabin and confiscate this section as evidence, you should rent some of the films with big explosions here including "The Rock", "The Bridge on the River Kwai", and the always appropriate "Independence Day".

Martina M.'s "Deep Blue I want to Give it All to You": Do you like blue movies (the non-pornographic kind) like "Blue", "Deep Blue", "I Am Curious: Blue", and "La Blue Girl"? Okay. Some of those have some racey scenes, but still, do you like these movies or any movies with the word "blue" in the title? Then come in and check this section out and take some of the babies home.

CATCH YOU ON THE FLIP SIDE:

Adios mujures y muchachos!

www.vidtheque.com
vidtheque.blogspot.com

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Please don't leave you pets or loved ones in the car with the windows rolled up, especially in this heat.

Getting water to stay cool!

We live in Southern California, a land of people more wealthy and famous that myself! I think it's human nature to be obsessed with these people and to interact with them. Here are some of my favorite encounters:

Steve Buscemi: He was jogging across the street from my house. I ran outside in my soiled bathrobe and tackled him straight to the ground! I told him "Hey! You're Mr. Pink!". He said "Yeah" and gave me a cock-eyed stare. I told him he was pretty cool and then he continued merrily jogging away. About a week later, his attorney sent me a letter saying I was getting sued for permanent damage done to Mr. Buscemi's spinal cord due to my tackling. All and all, a nice guy!

Gérard Depardieu: He was eating some Chicken McNuggets at the McDonald's in downtown. I thought about how the little McNuggets look like peas in comparison to his massive hands. Okay, I really didn't think that, I actually said it out loud. He said thank you and that he was proud of his mighty hands and then he hand fed me a McNugget as thanks. It truly was the mightiest McNugget I've ever eaten.

David Byrne: There he was in the flesh buying a freshly made suit at the big and tall store. He was getting one of those giant suits from "Stop Making Sense" as part of his show. Then I realized I was buying the same suit and even then it was a bit too tight. Suddenly, a great depression came over me and I had to leave the store. He was the meanest celebrity I ran into.

Mark Ruffalo: Fresh off "The Brothers Bloom", he was impressing some ladies with the magic tricks he learned for his role inside a booth at the Congo Room. I asked him to do a trick for me and he asked for my wallet. as part of the trick. Just like that, he made my wallet disappear. Wow! I then asked for my wallet back, but all he said was "What wallet?". He wasn't as nice as he is in the movies.

Chow Yun-Fat: I ran into Chow Yun-Fat in the line at Whole Foods. He was buying some falafel with spicy tahini sauce. This was my first real celebrity encounter, so out of nervousness, I asked him "Sooooo... you must like food, huh?" Without a thought of hesitation, he drop kicked me so hard in the chest, he broke two ribs and stopped my heart for a few minutes. He was nice enough to give me a free pass to see Red Cliff though! That's an interview I'll never forget!

NEW RELEASES:

Bergman Island (included with "The Seventh Seal"): This sounds like a good title for a Bergman themed reality show where people have to stay on an island for thirty days while their marriage disintegrates, their questioning of God arrives, and they have to stay very stoic and stone faced. Instead, we get this pretty cool documentary about Mr. Bergman at the sunset of his life.

Madea Goes To Jail: While Madea goes to jail, Tyler Perry goes straight to the bank to deposit all the millions upon millions of dollars he's made off of controlling all the main media outlets including television, movies, legitimate theater, and books. He's back as the angry and crazy black woman he's been in the last few movies, but someone finally caught on that her craziness may be a potential threat against human life so they put her in jail. They would've stuck her in the nut house, but Reagan shut all of those down in the eighties.

Scott Walker: 30 Century Man: I thought I've seen all the movies where prominent musicians tell others to punch meat, but it turned out I was wrong. See Brian Eno, David Bowie, Jarvis Cocker and others look generally enthusiastic while listening to Mr. Walker's music, too.

The Seventh Seal: I know what you're thinking! You're thinking "But Videotheque has had this movie for the longest!". Well, they (and by "they", I mean Criterion) decided their ten year old edition of the DVD was old and passe. They needed to freshen it up with a new transfer, a documentary, prettier artwork, and a Blu-Ray edition to boot.

What Goes Up: I'm going to say rent this because the person who wrote and directed is a very nice customer who comes in here. Please rent it; he'd appreciate it! (Editor's note: the local connection notwithstanding, it's great!-- Steve Coogan as big city journalist in small-town New Hampshire burg,1986-- at his witty best. Check it out!)

OTHER NEW RELEASES/NEW ARRIVALS:
Addicted to Plastic (doc)
The Bronx is Burning
Cherry Blossoms (Germany/Japan)
Crips and Bloods: Made In America (doc. by Stacy Peralta)
Crying Fist (S. Korea-- boxing/action!)
Danielson: A Family Movie (doc.)
Death Note (Japan)
Death Note II (ditto)
Derby (roller derby doc.)
Dr. Strangelove (Blu-Ray)
Favela Rising (Brazil doc.)
First Wives Club
Friday the 13th (2009)
GFE: Girlfriend Experience
Harry Potter Series (Blu-Ray)
Let's Make Money (banking industry doc.)
My Unlucky Satrs (France, with C. Deneuve)
Seraphine (France, César winner 2008-- France's Best Picture!)
The Seventh Seal (Blu-Ray)
Summer Rain (Spain, dir. A. Banderas)
Swing (dir. Tony Gatlif)
Waiting for Someone (France)
Welcome Home (Spain)
The Window (Argentina/Spain)
Wizard of Gore (Crispin Glover remake)

SO LONG, FOOLIOS:

Hope you read me again next week.

www.vidtheque.com

This is my point of view everyday at work. Now you know how it feels like to work at Videotheque!

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Don't preach about the glories of eating healthing while eating a cheeseburger. It just makes you look crazy.