Merry Christmas plus some New Releases for December 22nd, 2010

Our good Yeti friend visited Videotheque and plastered his image all over our windows (courtesy of our bearded companion, RV Parks). The majestic Yeti uses the cold weather as an excuse to lay around in his bathrobe watching 'Alone in the Wilderness' (everyone at work recommends it, an amazing documentary about a man who builds a log cabin entirely on his own. Find it on the New Release Documentary wall!).



Now the Yeti is gone. His tempera-painted glory annihilated by the hard rain slashing against the bay windows. When the rain moves on & the Southern California sunshine & unhealthy air kick back in, give our friend RV Parks a call at (626)497-2777. He will put a Yeti or a Yak or a anything for you on your window (if you pay a modest sum, that is).

NEW RELEASES:

Despicable Me: We should all listen to others' mothers. They are wise, well-worn women who expel nothing but good advice. My mother loved this film a lot and talked to me for a while about how cute it was. I would trust her too. She is always right about everything so you should rent this as it has Steve Carell as a mad genius trying to reform and hanging around a lot of little girls. Cute! <3

Exit Through the Gift Shop: I don't care for graffiti art at all. If you ask curmudgeonly me, Banksy is just as bad as Shepard Fairey. This one lends itself a half-arsed political ethos & lacks much creativity or understanding of the basic tenets of art, while drenching in sick amounts of irony. But whatever, I'm no art critic and everybody smarter than me seems to love the guy. If you are smart and love irony (the title pretty much expresses how much you'll be getting) or dislike the art world and appreciate people like Banksy sticking it to 'em, this documentary is worth a look.

Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work: I don't know much about Joan Rivers except that she used to host The Tonight Show in the Carson days and that she's the robot in Spaceballs. I'm told she's very Jewish, a gay icon and that she's had lots of surgery too. I think I should watch this doc and study up on my Joan Rivers.

The Other Guys: Really upset about what Bernie Madoff has done to your country? Think capitalism is running amok? Hate Reagan free-market? This film rages for you all in the guise of a pretty good comedy with Marky Mark and Will Ferrel as two bumbling cops (I know it's a cliche) arresting white collar crooks. Some pretty fantastic moments with Will Ferrel as an angry pimp named Gator.

Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps: So two films come out about the post-2008 stock crash.

BYE BYE!:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!: Although we are a non-denominational business, we also love all you folk who celebrate those other equally stressful holidays like Kwanzaa and Hannukah! Take care for the holidays and make sure you don't drink and drive. And if you don't heed my advice, at least do your best to avoid police checkpoints!

www.vidtheque.com
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12:20 (patent pending)

Sup yo

So, the toothless she-devil exclaimed to me the other day that these little bloggies are losing their "umph." Hark! I replied, is that the sound of your dignity leaving you? Well, unfortunately it was just me and not her dignity, but I vowed from that day on to show her my smile every day. My big smile, with ALL of my teeth.

It's like a sibling rivalry, only better:

Brothers Grimm: Oh man, I don't know what's worse: the cover art on this thing, or Matt Damon's mole. It just looks at you, never looking away, taunting you, saying "Hello, little one. Care from guacoMOLE?!" And then you train yourself to wander your eye over to Monica Bellucci's cleverly placed cleavage. Not that you know, one would notice such a thing. Sigh, come back Terry, we miss you.

Exorcism of Emily Rose: What better time than Jesus's birthday to release a film about the devil? Awesome I say! Marketing is getting better these days, are for that reason alone you should rent this. No pea soup or spiderwalk here, but some really wierd contortions, and some butt ugly grimaces. Based on a "true" story, The Exorcism of Emily Rose is great holiday treat!!

Four Brothers: Mark Walhberg revisits his funky bunch daze, only he's not rocking the Calvin's. It's too bad that Marky left the hip hop world for movies, and I quote:
Yo! It's about that time
To bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme
I'm a get mine so get yours
I wanna see sweat comin' out your pores
On the house tip is how I'm swingin' this
Strictly Hip-Hop boy, I ain't singin' this
Bringing this to the entire nation
Black, white, red, brown
Feel the vibration
Unity, that's what this movie's all about.

Must Love Dogs: Must...hang...oneself.

Novemeber: No Stoopid, this is December. Don't you see Festivus is just around the corner! Courtney Cox dodges the Monica and plays Sophie, a photographer whose lover is killed during a robbery. The rest, I will let Michelle Piekarus from imdb.com summarize: But as she struggles to get over the murder, Sophie's life begins to change, leaving her clueless as to what's coming. But worst of all, the line between reality and fantasy is beginning to shatter. ....uh, what?

Serenity: Oh man, people realllllly love this show. (I quietly scoff and ooze when nobody's looking). Well, where the show Firefly left off, Serenity picks up. Sci-fi buffs and nerds alike lined up and around the corner to fill the pockets of Josh Whedon and get their galatic hits fulfilled. I still say that Dawson's Creek is waaaayyy better, but you don't see a freakin movie being made. But that might because Tom doesn't let Katie out after dark.

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New Staff Recs!!

Meg: Dental Days: Not that she's the toothless devil, but coincidently, her picks are about teeth, lack of, and those who extract. Nervous about seeing your dentist? Watch one of these and your blood pressure will shoot straight up!
Andy: These movies are upside down: Literally. He's gone off the deep end. Lord help us.
Paul: Axes of Evil: Ha! not just a clever pun, but a collection of those old battle axes. No! not your wife, but rather real axes used as the weapon of choice in these thrillers. Hhhheeeerrrrreeeeee'''''ssssss Johnny!

Please have warm and friendly christmas, don't get caught up in all that capitalist bargains, but do meet with friends, family and loved ones. And remember everybody loves a dvd! Best wishes and be merry.

www.vidtheque.com

11:16

Hey

It is Monday eve and ready to roar. My head's a little shaky these days, I feel more and more like Hemmingway. As I hope you are recovering well, I press on foward with our collective silliness and reparte. So as you are keeping one eye to the monitor and the other to the Rebel Billionare, I have some interesting items for you. Please pay attention, I'm only going to say this once.

and, off, we....go!

The Chronicles of Riddick: At first glance I swear it was another dirty movie. Vin Diesel's (actually I think his real name is something like Mark Vincent, ha!) voice gets even lower, if you can believe it, in this follow up to 2000's Pitch Black. He is a blind man who conquers adversity and learns to fuse Gospel and Soul together. He brought us such hits as "Georgia on my Mind" and....err, nevermind. I hear he fights some aliens and Dame Judy Dench's hair. Let me know.

Elf: I can't say I've seen this, but looking at Will Ferrell's track record, it's bound to include a gratuitous butt shot. Oh yeah, and be a bit funny too. He plays a non-real elf looking for his real dad. My best guess would be to track down Wilt Chamberlain or Kobe. Just a thought.

I'll Sleep When I'm Dead: Well duh. The latest in almost-cleverly titled films, comes to us from Mike Hodges. If his name rings a bell, it's because he did the little-seen Croupier and the o.g. Get Carter. And you don't want to get to know him. If his films say anything about the man, he'll kick you in the shin and laugh at you. So I say run or get back at him by coming up with a better title like "My Cheese Don't Rot" or "Don't Pee on my Leg and Tell Me It's Raining." I think that last one's taken though.

The Office Special: The special what? Tenth episode anniversary? What is it that's so special? Damn Brits trying to always be so clever, did you not read above? Anyways, people can't stop loving this show. It's a "where are they now" episode over at Wernham Hogg. See 90 minutes of office humor and lunacy. I wish I could watch it, but I don't speak British.

The Saddest Music in the World: Have you heard that song by The Cure? It'd make a good candidate I'm sure. Or maybe that's for the sulkiest music in the world? Whatever. Cult/Indie fave Guy Maddin's latest shot on grainy B&W and some woman with beer legs. It will remind you of David Lynch and Fargo fo sho'. Watch it and you look at Joel Peter Witkin photographs in a whole new way.

Smithereens: Susan Seidelman (Desperately Seeking Susan) brings you this flashback set in the 80's East Village. Set to music by The Feelies and featuring Richard Hell, the story follows a Jersey girl wanting to break into the NYC music scene. For fans of Downtown 81.

PeeWee's Playhouse V1&2: These massive sets include up to 5 seasons of this insanely bizarre show. Featuring Paul Rubens at the height of his fame, watch him act creepy and scare your children. In hindisight, it becomes so clear doesn't it?

Come check out our staff picks. They kick ass. Do it because we deserve it. 4 funny categories! C'mon! Also, don't forget the holidays are coming. We are heavily stocking our DVD racks with the craziest shit you've ever seen. Priced at the best we can do, where else can you get David Lynch's Eraserhead, the Tinto Brass Collection, or Warhol's rare Chelsea Girls? We also have very pretty gift certs, rental passes and sweet sweet candy! Remember you can't spell "have a quasi-merry christmas, ok dude" without Videotheque!

goodbye, we love you. http://www.vidtheque.com