12:21

After a lifetime of Tuesdays, I, as a post-humous French new wave icon, have never been so pleased with the bevy of DVDs to behold this Tuesday. Allow me to unintentionally steal my compatriot's thunder and tell you about them before this rotten commercialized holiday where the man tries to keep us down by encouraging us to compile more clutter in our lives takes the wind out of my sails to a point where it's no longer even fun to write run-on sentences anymore.

DANNY DECKCHAIR - I got a Christmas card from Danny. I didn't get him anything. He in turn has, I don't know, flown away on a deckchair or something. Whenever I see commercials for comedies with lanky guys with long hair I immediately think of Yahoo Serious, which in turn causes me to start thinking about ageism in Hollywood, and my own mortality, which ultimately ends up depressing me, which is not what I want in a comedy. But hey! Merry Christmas!

De-Lovely: My compatriot informed me that this was named after a Cassavetes film. I tried to verify this on IMDB, but failed to do so. Thus, I am inclined to believe him. So for all you Cassavetes lovers come grab this spin-off of A Woman Under the Influence. I hear it's great. Hype!: This doc on the Seattle "Grunge" music scene from waaaay back in the 90's is finally out on DVD. Has more Melvins and Gas Huffer than Pearl Jam and Nirvana, but don't get your panties in a bunch. Like any good hipster, you have to embrace the lesser-known artists, so you should be all over this shit. The Walkabouts, Supersuckers, 7 Year Bitch, The Mono Men. Who? Oh, I pity yee ill-informed one.

The Manchurian Candidate: Jonathan Demme is about this close to topping Soderbergh in the remake genre. Fresh off his kilter-The Truth About Charlie-Demme directs Denzel and Meryl Streep in this political thrilla! Michael Moore guests as soldier sent to war and forced to clean up his hygiene. Rent this one, you'll help support the underrated Jeffrey Wright.

Napoleon Dynamite: Dy-NO-mite!! C'mon, you were bound to know some jackass was going to do that. I say better that then, "Gosh!" Goshdamn you hipsters, your flippin' movie is out this week. But it's rather heavy on the weak sauce. Now don't get all pissy, what I mean is the production of the disc looks rather dumpy. It's one of those "double-sided" ones. Anyways, comes with a few features, quirkiness, and Pedro. Everybody wants a Pedro.

Shaun of the Dead: The Videothequian Caucus was this week, and we came to the conclusion that this just might tickle your fancy slightly more than the aforementioned film above. Shaun keeps gettin C-blocked by the zombies as he tries to play his mojo. And trust me, that's the worst of all blocks. by a zombie! Anyways, try this one, jump in and get your feet wet...with blood!! 2046 &

The House of Flying Daggers: Huh you say? Yes, we do have these. If you don't want to take out a second mortgage at the theater, then spend 4 bucks renting it from us.

And 2046 is Wong Kar-Wai's follow up to 2000's beautiful "In the Mood for Love." Good luck trying to find this at No-late-fee Lackluster, we are one of few who carry this bitch. Come and get it! That's it.

Noticebly missing from this week: King Arthur, Two Brothers, and The Thunderbirds. *Cough* I'm sorry, I'm allergic to crap. oops...

*********************** As my fellow co-worker has stated, we are cluttering our lives with useless clutter, and making our lives just a jumbled mess. When you get more junk in your closet you've known you've done a good job. So with that being said, we would like to add to your clutter and announce the things we have for sale, just in case your loved ones might go on record with one of these items. They are: New and Used DVDs, Posters, Box Sets, T-shirts, All-Region DVD Players (only 89.99!!), Candy, Rent Certs and Gift Certs. And I swear this will be the last I ever mention it.

So, have a great weekend, be safe, be merry, and come by, we've got plenty of mistletoe to go around.

www.vidtheque.com

11:23

Howdy I've been in this town and walked back to the city. Fell in love with a beautiful girl who happened to be Spanish. She made paella and it made me gag. While she laid her smackdown, I kep thinking, Lalalaa llaaa lalaa, I wish I was at Videotheque. and you know, in the cantina, a margarita keeps the spirits high. So while your downing good ol' spirits, here's what's smellin this week. onetwothree!

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Hhhheeeee's back! Before I get into this, you may want to change your child's pants. Mr. boy Potter and his hormones are in for their umpteenth installment adapted from the cashcow books. This time it's directed by Mexican perv, Alfonso Cuaron, better known by Y Tu Mama Tambien. My Mexican mom loved that movie, except ya' know, all that sex stuff. Anyways, Pooter wants some Hermione action, but badass Sirius Black gets in the way. But who is this Sirius, and is he serious? HA! I gotta say, Oldman got a pretty baaaad name for his character. He should be counting his blessings that it wasn't Ron Weasley.

Seinfeld Seasons 1-3: The one you've been waiting for. Now you should go change YOUR pants. Jerry, Cosmo, Elaine and George are all back with nothing. Perfect for your television needs, the set is about 8 discs wide with plenty of little bitty extras. Some may call this your favorite show ever, others prefer Teletubbies, whatever the case may be, stop watching so much tv.

Sleepover: I would love to. Oh, teens? Naw, too old. ANYWAYS, this little film was probably overshadowed by Mean Girls and The Thunderbirds, but nows your chance to give it some respectability. That is, if teen comedy is your thang. And probably more respectability than I've given VT. I'm sorry guys!

Stealing Sinatra: Someone stole our copies.

The Terminal: Oscar-schlepper Tom Hanks teams up again with Oscar-schleppee Steven Spielbie. This time, Hanks is stranded in an airport with no volleyball to talk to, he then paints a face onto his luggage and commits lascivious acts with them. He tries to converse with the airport crew, but have you ever tried talking to them? All you get are grunts. Especially during these times of high stress and orange color bars. Catherine-Zeta Jones is in this for some unknown reason. Maybe Oscar dust will rub off on her too. We can all dream, can't we?

Zhou Yu's Train: It's kinkier than you think. A cermacist takes a train ride to have "mad passionate love with him" (taken from IMDB) and then meets someone else, and takes another train to have "mad passionate love with him" and then meets more people to have "mad passionate love with them." See, I told you so. Now if a man was doing this, they'd call him a slut! Goddamn sexism! One day I'm gonna meet someone and take a train to have "mad passionate love with him" err her.

If your looking to blow some cash, send it our way! We've stocked our DVD racks with some of the craziest shit eva! We got everything from David Lynch's Short Films to the badass Cassavetes DVD box set. Let's not forget our supercool Posters, Gift Certs in any amount, Rental Certs and enough candy to give you seven cavities! That's it.

See what you have to be thankful for! Everyone here at VT wants to wish you and your loved ones a great holiday. Don't yell at your family, sit down, be grateful, and save me a slice of Tofurkey. When you get back or have some time from all that holiday shopping, come by and check out soon-to-be-up holiday wall. Filled with all the madness that yule tide brings us; you can veg out in the attic while your fam tries to act civil. goodbye friends, I'll see you when I'm in debt. www.vidtheque.com