10:19

Heya! So it's been raining. And that is great. Yeah, yeah, I love the sun too, but being a SoCal native, I've learned to appreciate the wonderful moments in big grey clouds. So to all you nay-sayers, take this as an opportunity to cozy up with a loved one, rocky-road and all. let us depart! Cinderella Story: No offense or surprise here, but my money's down on Lindsay. She could whoop some ass if needed. Oh would I pay...er no I wouldn't because they are young and that is unethical. Yes. Anywho, Chad Michael Paul Gossler makes the moves on Duffers and she doesn't know what to do! Kinda like my first time with him.

Greg the Bunny: Isn't this the spin-off of Married with Children with Bobcat Goldthwait? I love that show, that Nikki Cox is hot. Huh? Seth Green? Since when? Oh, you're telling me that this is another irreverent bunny puppet show? and it was on Fox? but Nikki Cox is on this right? The

Hole: So let's count. There's Ass, Cox and Hole. We are on a roll today! I don't mean to bring up the Adolescent humor, sometimes one cannot resist. I know I have embarrassed all at the 'Theque, and for that I am ashamed. Kiera Knightly from Pirates and that soccer movie, and Thora Birch are meddling teens who find a mysterious hole. Just like Chad Michael Murray! oh zinger!

Intermission: Irish men drink too much. It's a proven fact. My co-worker is quater Irish and is drunk at the moment. Too much drink makes lives go bad. Just like in this movie. Some dude breaks up with his lady mate, and things go awry. Not that drinking had anything to do with it, but c'mon, they're Irish! There's more Irish in this film than lucky charms, and they are as follows: Cillian Murphy, Colm Meaney, Colin Farrell, and Kelly MacDonald. They really like that "Cuh" sound.

I'm Not Scared: A small suspense film from Italy. I almost went to see this, but instead got stuck watching Young Adam. Man, I blew it. Anywho, some kid thinks he hears voices coming from yet another hole, but who or what is it? ooohhoooo. It doesn't look half bad, so maybe some Italian thrills will go well with your gelato. Love me if you dare: A cutesy, Ameliesque love story directly from the city of lights. It's kinda like Jackass without the horrendous pain and well, idiocy. Remember when you used to be double-dared with a cherry on top to eat a worm or something? And then you did and threw up all over your crush's sun dress, and she resented you for the rest of your life. yeah, I married her.

The Return: It's no sequel by any means, it's a heavy drama about an estranged father who returns to rock his two son's lives. Hit's close to home and will make many illegitimate, and fatherless video clerks very sad.

Slipping Down Life: Lily Taylor plays Charles Manson and Guy Pearce is her Dennis Wilson/Beatles/Sharon Tate. A small indie that left many people laughing at the trailers, it's your turn to start chuckling.

Van Helsing: Kate Beckinsale revises her role from Underworld, except Wolverine takes the lead. She fights off vampires with her bad German accent, and couple of bullets too.

Quickly, that's it, and even quicker, goodbye.

10:12 or 21:01

hey folks We just cleaned the counters here at VT, so if you like things that smell like windex, come on by. Meanwhile, I'm standing around, all the while my feet are crumbling like feta cheese. Nothing too heavy this week (it's kinda slow in videoland), so let's ride a pepper and sprinkle some seasoning this week. un deux!

Bush's Brain: Oh man, the cover art on these things are getting worse by each release. You would think they could hire some young punk from Art Center, USC, or hell even Chaffee C.C. At least there would be something more interesting than that man's eerie smile and some pseudo-stencling. But maybe that's just the aesthetic they're going for... a sorta signifier for the smarts of good ol' Dubya. Ah, I bet they didn't want to fork out the 25 bucks. Anywho, the latest of the latest docs aimed at you damn undecided voters. Focuses not on Mr. Bush, but his love and brain in residence Karl Rove. By the way, one of the director's last name is SCHOOB. I'm so there.

The Day After Tomorrow: Would be Wednesday. I hate these play on words titles. They make me look up stupidly as I try to figure out excactly when the day after tomorrow would be. It's like how my girlfriend's cousin's nephew's mother's lover is related to Jake Gyllenhaal's maid. Anyways, I saw this at the drive-in (ha!) with my two lady friends (hoo!) and we enjoyed ourselves immensely. Well, half immensely. Anyways, this is perfect for a badass sound system, or a lazy night. You'll be so sucked in, you'd think it really snowed in NYC...oh wait. But be careful, the wolves might get you.

Raising Helen: Whatsherface is in this movie with that guy who married a big fat greek.. no, it wasn't like that, he had a big fat wedding! So, she and he play romantic interests in this movie, except he's a Priest Preacher that is a Principal (is that allowed anymore?) and she just inherited her sis's meddling kids. One word of advice: Adoption! Hell, tell that kid The Cat in the Hat stunk while you're at it.

Ren and Stimpy Uncut!! These lovable, disgusting, presumably gay(?) critters are finally available on DVD! Also included is a banned episode and more hair balls than you could ever want! Oh Happy Happy Joy Joy!

Stateside: The tagline for this is "Love is a Battlefield..." When was the last time you heard a Pat Benetar reference (I dooo like that song). A Marine on leave falls in love with a musician except her mental defficiency might slow them down. It's A Woman Under the Influence for generation X, Y, & Z. Starrs Rachel Leigh Cook, Jonathon Tucker and Val Kilmer.

The Wire Season 1: The latest from HBO, a series about drugs, lies and corruption. If you've had good luck with all their other seri, I'm sure you won't strike out with this one. Betty Blue: The classic crazy woman and Zorg are back in a brand new Director's Cut of the film that was nominated for best foreign film way back in 87. About and hour's worth of extra footage packaged nicely between to sheet of plastic. Cyans make me blue.

lastly On Sunday Christopher Reeve died from a heart attack. Of course known as Superman, and equally by his physical impairment, he spent his later years in life fighting to find a cure for spinal injuries. He was 52.

thanks folks. Next week i'll bring more love and silliness. adieu.

10:04 You eat like a bird

Hello! Welps, this myspace hasn't been cooperating and my socks are missing their elasticity. Aside from that, my throat feels like it's being invaded by 4 b.c. Romans. Indeed it has not been a good day. Anyways, since I care about you guys, I'll trek through the fields of dead white blood cells and tell you all the goodness, and some badness of this week. one, two, seven! Aladdin: Stolen from the Bowie record, Disney finally releases it's mega-hit on DVD. Featuring two discs, new songs and all that good stuff. I count my blessings thanking the Disney Gods that they did not insert the "new song" into the feature...ahem Lion King. Any case this will cheer up your illigitimate child and even more so when the first 50,000 copies come with a handful of Robin Williams' hair! eww. Born Rich: Yeah we hate them too. But they couldn't help being BORN into such a luscious, ill-deserved life. So I blame it on the parents. This made for cable documentary filmed by one of their own hits the plastic with 24K gold plating. Each disc comes with a designer sleeve ala Gucci, Fred Segal et al, and certificate for a free ride on Paris Hilton, or was that a free ride to Paris, and stay at the Hilton? Who knows these days.

Decline of the American Empire: I'm thinking the title signifies the USA empire, when really Canadians are techinically Americans too. Bastards, always blaming us. Therefore, it's the Decline of the Canadians! YAY! Anywho, Denys Arcand's first big hit, way before all that Barbarian stuff. Big amongst the cultured kind, or what we call Camericans.

Fahrenheit 9/11: Blah, blah, blah, blah. it's here.

The Five Obstructions: Lars Von Trier's trivial documentary about making and remaking a film, uh, about five times. Whatever dude. Wouldn't anyone else wanna see a sequel to Zentropa?
Horns and Halos: The cover shows this guy hiding behind a picture of Dubya, gleeming like Kevin Smith a couple of weeks ago. Yet another poli-doc to fill our walls. If you didn't get your fill from the aforementioned film, here's another that'll float, or sink you float.

Saved!: The ! is part of the title, not ours. Christianity is the butt of this film, Mandy Moore is Rachel McAdams character, and Jena Malone is of course Lindsay Lohan. Featuring young actors that aren't young enough to be the roles they play, Saved! was a small favorite on certain fests. Enjoy the mocking of your religion!

Also not mentioned above are the following: Tess (Roman Polanski), Strangers with Candy Final Season, Unconstitutional, The Hunger DVD, The Inner Tour (Israel), and James' Journey to Jerusalem (Israel).

Lastly, the badness: This sunday a beloved, if not typecast actress left us. Ms. Janet Leigh, 77, passed away from vasculitis. Come visit us and see our humble tribute to Ms. Leigh and see something else besides Psycho. 1927-2004

ok go out and be merry, and someone please send me some cough drops.

9:21

howdy tuesday is upon us, and you aren't ready! I'm gonna do it anyways, and trust me, there's more gold here than in Flavor Flav's teeth let's goooo!!! Carandiru: You thought San Quintin was bad. Let's hope you don't break any laws in Brazil cuz they'll take you to school. Prison school that is. Based on certain individuals who were interred at the particular prison, the film tells tales that dead men can't. Just go watch it, and try not to drop the soap.

Coffee and Cigarettes: Calling all neurotic addicts out there. Mr. Jarmusch brings us his, "latest." Reason it's in quotes is partly because this began way back in 86 or so. So, it ain't exactly new. Showcasing various stories over a cup of joe and a cig (or two, or three, four etc) and featuring such acting talents as Iggy Pop, Steven Wright, Steve Buscemi and Bill "Ghostbustin'" Murray. It's a new store fav, so you have at least one recommendation. And, as you are watching this, keep an eye out for Gustav Mahler's Ich Bin Der Weit Abhanden Gekommen, it's beautiful.

Cassavetes Box Set: Oh man I need a mop. Every mutha f-in auteur, indie scenester, wannabe film maker, Ethan Hawkes owe their complete existence to one man. Jesus. No, kidding, but Mr. John Cassavetes himself. The Criterion Collection just issued the following on brilliant DVDs in all their glory, don't look away because you might miss it: Shawdows (feat. soundtrack by charles mingus!) Faces A Woman Under the Influence Opening Night The Killing of a Chinese Bookie If you like any kind of film, alcoholic, or misogynist, you should watch these. It's all about acting, reacting and life through a camera lens.

How to Draw a Bunny: Now something I know a little more about. This long awaited documentary about the notorious Ray Johnson. Performance artist/eccentric is the subject of this doc that interviews everybody in the blazing art world circa 70s. Andy Warhol, Roy Lichtenstein, Christo and more. This made no noise in the film world, but if you live in the art world, it's worth seeing and investigating one of art's most unusual and unheard of artist of the last century.

Mean Girls: Oh Lindsay, let me count the ways. This actually laughable (with, not at) teen comedy may be worth your dollar. I know a bunch of you saw this in the theater, because everytime I went it was sold out. You bastards. In any case, taken from everybody's high school trauma, this will bring you back to those oh nasty days when you rocked out to the New Kids, we were at war with Iraq (oh wait...) and Zack Morris was a hottie.

Mr. Show Season 4: Did anybody watch the Emmys yesterday? Well, when Arrested Development won (!) for best comedy and Mr. Bateman was giving a speech, that heffer David Cross was behind him smiling away. I think I've seen him in every project made this year. Seriously, there's no need for such greed. You got him in the Scary Movie 2, then Run ronnie Run, Arrested Devo, Mr. Show, Eternal Sunshine, Melvin Goes to Dinner. Oh boy, leave some water for the fish. I'm just kidding David, we love you here, GO DAVID!!

Smell of Camphor Fragrance and Jasmine: If anyone ever came up to me and said, "Hey you want to smell my camphor?" I would have punched him. But apparantely it smells good. But i guess not good enough alone if it needs Jasmine. Seems like an odd combo like Peanut Butter and Banana--can you say elvis and heart attack? Farsi speakers and subtitle readers--This hails from Iran where the Gohrme Zsabsi is delish (please forgive me spelling). A black comedy about a director who thinks he's dying. I just saw the box and there are Iranian Midgets!! I'm so there!

Star Wars: Shhh, can you hear that? It's the sound of a thousand nerds running to Best Buy to stand in line so they can get their grimy hands on the first of many, DVD release of S.W. The first/middle three of the series is finally out on DVD. Attached like fleas to Chewbacca is a fourth disc of a 236 minute doc regarding the films. Packaged in shiny, silver (widescreen) or gold (yeck) boxes, the franchise has come home. Now some Star Wars trivia: What type of lazer is the light saber? Who gives a sh*t!

TwentyNinePalms: French existentialism at its best. Travelling through the desert with nothing to do but argue and have tons o sex, Bruno Dumont brings us his latest. Makes me remember of the time I went out on a road trip with this hot girl I was dating. As I was watching this, it felt so vivid, my trip was exactly like that of the characters. Well, except for the tons o sex part. wah wah. :(

La Dolce Vita: Mr. Fellini releases what many consider his masterpiece on DVD. Gorgeously crafted on two discs, contains many a features with commentaries, docs, hugs and kisses. Like the Cassavetes, comes highly recommended. By the way, it translates to "the sweet life."

Thanks for stikcing around. My gut is hurting so I'm going to go now. adieu.

9:14 (sort of)

howdy so, I'm a little late. Sorry, you know how the story goes, you go out, meet someone and then end up in a bathtub missing a kidney. Or so the saying goes. Anyways, it's friday and you probably won't read this because you are getting ready to go out clubbing and end up in a tub yourself. let's go!!

Angels in America: This six day mini-series which aired on the HoBO network is fresh and green. Did you know that Mike Nichols is married to Diane Sawyer? Yeah, I don't care either. But he is! and he directs this flick that runs the course of the Mayan Calendar. Starring the Pacino that is Al, Meryl Streep?, and many a more. It's the A-list of acting here, falling short of Macauly and the Coreys. This puppy racked up hundreds of nods from those ladies, the Emmys and is set to win them all. Come see why angels are getting as cool as Jesus these days. And I am jealous.

BAAADDDAAAASSSSS: Or something like that. What do you get when you get one bad ass mutha, breed him with another equally bad ass she-mutha? A boy named Sweet Sweetback Maaarrriioooo. Or Mr. Peebs to you. Anyways, if it walks like a Van Peebles, talks like a Van Peebles, then it's must be Solo star Mario. He portrays his dad in this movie, during the uprising of Blackspoitation, er Black Cinema. Here's some trivia: Sweet Sweetback opened in Detroit and for the first two days it was pretty much empty. During one of those days, a man left the theater early. The following day he brought a group of Black Panthers to sell out the theater. How do you like me now, biatch!

Close Your Eyes: The dude from ER is in this. He is a pyschiatrist, or is it psychic, or both! HA! Generic plot twist is thrown at you! Anyways, Goran Visnjic sees dead people. Man on Fire: This has a great title. He is a Man, and he's on FIRE!! Denzel (some people say I look like him) is a vengeful animal tracking down some murdering a-holes. Alongside him is that sweet little Dakota Fanning. I hope she doesn't pick up any bad habits. You may remember her from the child-parent in I am Sam, as well as loveable youngen in The Cat in the Hat. Oh man, sounds she's on her way to Jonathan Lipnicki infamy.

Scooby Doo 2, Monster Island: naw, I'm not gonna try.

THX 1138: Before Star Wars, there was a little picture called THX 1138. No robots or wierd aliens here, just good old fashion mind control. Featuring a pretty cool painted cover, much better than that of that of Star Wars, two discs, and bunch of sci-fi to blow your mind. Nerds, prepare yourself.

Young Adam: I was reading on IMDB the reviews for this, and I have to disagree with pretty much all of them. Ewan and the smokin Emily Mortimer, and not so smoking, but cool because she was on Max Richter's awesomest record, Tilda Swinton. He plays a corrupt man getting nookie all over the place. This includes: a large barge, underneath a big rig truck, , and on the dirt infested floor. Yew. Anyways, the photography is pretty good, and let's not forget Ms. Mortimer.

thanks guys, that be all for now. Oh don't forgets to visit our new baby, the website!! www.vidtheque.com New features coming soon!!! i love you.

9:7

Ahh, The big weekend is nearly over, but you can still hear the faint sounds of kids in swimming pools, smell the veggie BBQ going, and the wonderful medley of car horns goin off as you sit in interstate(s) 5, 10, 210, 405, 805 traffic. In any case, we here at VT sincerely hope you had a good weeked, as we have slaved over DVD boxes to bring you the following items. Some good enough to make another holiday of it. as usual, let's...

Jersey Girl: Director Kevin Smith was recently signed on to direct the film adaptation of The Green Hornet, one of which he remarked that the studio shouldn't have given him big studio projects as he is and forever shall remain, an "indie." Whatever dude. He may be right seeing as his last studio gig was this puppy. Probably unfairly mauled over by the media too concerned over Beniffer when they really should've focused on you know, war, famine, and the cat stuck in a tree, but no one really cares about that. Man, I sound like I should be in Outfoxed or somethin. Jersey Girl features Ben and his little girl. And a love story. Although when I look at the box, and the pathos of the cover art should signify a romantic comedy, I can't help but be distracted by Smith's ulgy mug peering from the corner, smiling away. Seriously. Come rent it and find out. By the way, it's set nowehere near Jersey. Ah, just kidding.

The Ladykillers: Oscar-schlepper Tom Hanks hams it up again as a faux-professore in this heist- gone-wrong comedy remake of an Guiness and Sellers classic. Directed by those wacky Coens, and co-starring Marlon Wayans, but sadly not the funny looking one, Steve Buscemi. I think he was too busy guesting with that loving family, The Sopranos. One of my co-workers here is in love with him, she calls his Steve Buscexy. Oh boy. The Punisher: to be pronounced, The Puh! nisher!! with extra emphasis on the puh, and snarl while you say it. Tom Jane, pssh! Dolph Lundgren would kick his ass any day! John Travolta tracks down Mr. Jane (wimp!) and forces him at gun point to crack the computer code in under 1 minute. Talk about stress. Then walks in Halle Berry...oh wait, wrong movie. But John Travolta really is in this movie. The latest in the never ending wave of comic book-to movie craze, this diddy is not about a man getting his revenge, but about giving the bad guys their punishment! I'm sorry but I had to, Mr. Travolta has a .45 right behind me.

Soul Plane: Snooop! This bad-ass is back with a HIIIGGHH flyin comedy. Full of zany comedy, racial slurs and yes what snoop is best known for, and I ain't talkin about his music. Tom Arnold guest stars (WTF?). Now, I'm going to say that a good portion of our clients enjoy certain medicinal aids, and fall flat on their asses when watching Half Baked, but here at VT we do not applaud such acts, however comedies about them, can be good. Just behave yourself, and say waddup to Snoop for me.

United States of Leland: The latest indie to come out frome the studio womb and make somethin of itself. This stars Ryan Gosling, Kevin Spacey and my favorite Don "Cowboy" Cheadle. (Even his last name is bad!) After Gosling's character commits a crime and sent to a detention center he meets Mr. Cheadle who wants to turn his story into a novel. Thereafter the motive is disclosed. Filled with tales of morale, questionable intentions and a sprinkle of sadness. Say you liked Elephant, then you'll might like this too.

WattStax: Made in 1973, much akin to Monterey Pop or Woodstock, this documentary features footage from the 7hour concert at the Coliseum in Watts. However, rather than those San Fran hippies, this features prominent African-American artists at the time, including Isaac Hayes, Richard Pryor, and Mr. Rainbow Coalition himself, Jesse Jackson. Mr. Jackson: (ahem) You see my dear this music is for your ear make peace not war you hippies can't count to four Isaac Hayes, Richard Pryor this old man is gettin tired man, can't you see 50 cent got nothin on me!

lastly, Eddie Murphy RAW: Back when he was funny he made some stand up flicks. Funny and vulgar as hell, filled with more f-bombs than Scarface, and better leather than a gimp, Mr. Murphy's second-funniest DVD is out for you to bite on.

Thanks.. and in the words of my dear friend Larry: "Talk to ya." Goodbye friends.

8:31 The Special Pious Edition

heeelllooo So we are here and early. Agaetis Byrjun. This week we are diving into the realm of that ol time relijun! With a few special surprises with equal parts stupidity. After such a long and nice weekend me thinks it's good the feel the DVD breeze through your hair.

First and Foremost: Forbidden Zone!! If you don't know what this is man, then forget you are dead to me. Just stop reading here. The looooooonggger than John Holmes awaited DVD for this is finally out! We ordered 517 copies to digest, just enough for the lower east side of south pasadena. Way before Dead Man's Party came this cult of cults film starring Danny Elfman and directed by Richard Elfman. Loads and loads of features including commentaries, behind the scenes docs, and the history of the Mystic Knights of the Oingo-Boingo! Oh man, oh man oh man. and yes, women too.

The Pa$$ion of the Christ: Mr. Gibson and co. recently urged churches to buy several copies of Jesus via a special bargain package. These were to be sold during masses right before holy communion. Little bit of bread, little wine and movie. All set. Anywho, I don't want this to be anti-christian banter, because it AINT, but really in churches? Back to what this is all about... Jim Caweasel is the main man himself during his last hours. If you thought there was a lot of blood in the Kill Bills, well wait to you see this. Kill Bill beats by at least a pint or two. For such a high grossing "indie" flick, the DVD is barebones. Nothing to sell I guess. Just be warned, it's gonna get worse than LOTR of Star Wars. I anticipate maybe ten or twelve different "special editions" including the special Kosher version. As well as the alternate ending. Make sure you load up on those holy carbs during those late nights as you are glued to the white light of the television.

The Passion of the Jew: No you heard me right. However it's those crazy kids at South Park retelling the greatest story ever told (over and over again). Cartman plays the bitch, and Kyle the jew. Irrelevant, crude and heartwarming all at the same time.

Chris Rock, Never Scared: I thought it said Never Sacred which would have been awesome for this week!! I stayed up late watching Bad Company last night and noticed he has some pearly whites! I think only Zach Braff comes pretty close. Never Scared features more cuss words than Glengarry Glenn Ross and better jokes than the White House, and oh let's not forget those chompers.

Trekkies 2: Theeeeeeeyyyyyyy''rrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeee Baaaaaaaaacccccccckkkkkkkkkk!! A religion for some (eh, see how they tie in) Trekkies returns with more oddball, ahem, Trekkies. This doc packs a punch for humor and humiliation for the poor kids of these people. Makes me think of one time a little kid, maybe four or five years old, came in with his mother and began to yell and cry bloody-mary for a DVD he wanted. That DVD: Sound of Music. I would call that kid a Von Trappie.

Twisted: Ashely Judd stars in this remake of Kiss the Girls, Double Jeopardy, and High Crimes. She plays Jessica Sheppard who "gets around" and consequently those who's she's been with, become dead! or get dead whichever you prefer. Bad-Ass mutha Sam Jackson and Mary-Lou Retton co-star.

24th Day: To be honest, I don't have a clue what this is, but hey it might be good. I'll read you what it says: "It's been 24 days since Tom found out that his life was ruined by a previous encounter with Dan. 24 days since he decided Dan would have to pay with his life. In this electrrifying suspense thriller, driven by superstar performances, you'll be holding your breath to see who survives the 24th day." You be the judge and don't let the zombies scare you.

Ok, that concludes today's ceremonies. Please have a nice day. Adieu.