Hey cats So five, count em, five new films are ocming out at the box office this weekend. So much to choose from, especially if you've missed the films from the weeks prior. So a quick overview:
Harold and Kumar go to White Castle: A touching story about two long time buddies who have a craving for disgusting mini burgers. So I hear that you'll get a few dozen laughs if you went to high school in the 90's or you know, hit that shit.
Manchurian Candidate: The second remake from Jon Demme, and the sequel to the Pelican Brief, stars that man on fire Denzel (some people say I look like him). Revered by critics, this may be the next box office champion.
She Hate Me: What? Yeah, I don't know what that is either, but apparently it's Spike Lee's next big movie. I hear it's a satire meets Malcom X.
Thunderbirds: Ok, I've actually seen this one and it's great. A great pile of crap but don't let that stop you from taking the kids. Featuring only one puppet, Bill Paxton and Ghandi with scary eyes! Watch the uberpeaceful Kingsley kick some kid ass!
The Village: The forseen box office winner stars Adrien Brody Joaquin Phoenix and some red paint. Called a "dog" of a movie and one of the most dissappointing films of the year! M. Knight Shyamalamadingdong appreciates your patronage!
So if you are going to the theater this weekend, go to a discount cheapie and not those MEGAPLEX joints or wait for them until you can get them here! Here at Videotheque, we understand you are poor because of this crap economy. Have fun!
Saturday, July 31, 2004
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
7:27
Heya kids I think we've worked out all the kinks with this thing. Anywho, myspace did us over last week by losing the entry, so it's gone somewhere to the tenth dimension. As for this week, the fun returns for you and your pet midget. Anways, before we begin this entry, i'd like to dedicate this to a good friend of mine. Alas, the battle wages on: \
The Celebration: Yeah, we beat the system and had this title years ago, albeit a Euro version, but it's not anything new to our loyal customers. Well, the rest of America finally got on the bandwagon and released this sucker officially for you to enjoy. A story about a family coming together to enjoy a 60th birthday, but like a bad episode of Melrose Place, all hell breaks loose. One, if not the first feature to deliver the Dogme style, i'ts an hour and forty-six minutes of Scandinavian goodness.
Hellboy(!): Now, I'm no sucker for crap, but I saw this in the theaters and it knocked my socks off. Well, not literally or you know, at all, but I have to say I did enjoy my time. If you liked the comic books than it'll suffice. If you like popcorn movies, then it'll do. If you like big red things, well this baby is for you. In all seriousness, it ain't horrible. Except, for the first twenty minutes I kept thinking to myself, "since when was Tom Waits in this movie?"
Ned Kelly: Vrrrrrrrrooooooooooommmmmmm.... Whoa man! Did you see that go by?! Yeah? What was that?! Oh, it was Ned Kelly starring Heath Ledger. As I'm guessing, you didn't know when that came out either. So here it is in all it's glory waiting for you to rent it and justify it's budget. Yup, it is a remake of that Mick Jagger flick, but this one is actually Australian. Also stars the oh-so dreamy Orlando Bloom and that fiesty Naomi Watts.
Whole Ten Yards: Bruce Willis and Chandler return in this sequel about a cute gangsta and his friend. I think Amanda Peet is the gangsta, I don't know, I could be wrong. All I remember from the trailers is Bruce Willis wearing an apron. Hey, isn't Hulk Hogan in this movie too? I think they have matching aprons. How wonderful! Anyways, if you missed it in theaters, here's your chance to see Mr. Willis get in touch with his metrosexuality. Yippe Kayay, honeybunch! That's it for the newish stuff, one more though, that's not so new... High Art: Same story applies as the Celebration, so officially it is out on DVD for you.
and lastly, OUTFOXED: if you want more leftists documentaries, well this is the next big thing. It's an 'investigative' doc about Rupert Murdoch and the Fox news Channels. We have a few for rent and couple for sale, only $9.99! Jeepers! That'll make any tree-huggin, gov't-hating hippie jump for joy. I think Mr. Moore would be proud.
Thank you sweetie for joining me today. And since we've been at it for a couple of weeks now, let us know how we are doing. Would you rather read the stock report backwards while under the influence? I would too, but give us a shout out. Thanks.
The Celebration: Yeah, we beat the system and had this title years ago, albeit a Euro version, but it's not anything new to our loyal customers. Well, the rest of America finally got on the bandwagon and released this sucker officially for you to enjoy. A story about a family coming together to enjoy a 60th birthday, but like a bad episode of Melrose Place, all hell breaks loose. One, if not the first feature to deliver the Dogme style, i'ts an hour and forty-six minutes of Scandinavian goodness.
Hellboy(!): Now, I'm no sucker for crap, but I saw this in the theaters and it knocked my socks off. Well, not literally or you know, at all, but I have to say I did enjoy my time. If you liked the comic books than it'll suffice. If you like popcorn movies, then it'll do. If you like big red things, well this baby is for you. In all seriousness, it ain't horrible. Except, for the first twenty minutes I kept thinking to myself, "since when was Tom Waits in this movie?"
Ned Kelly: Vrrrrrrrrooooooooooommmmmmm.... Whoa man! Did you see that go by?! Yeah? What was that?! Oh, it was Ned Kelly starring Heath Ledger. As I'm guessing, you didn't know when that came out either. So here it is in all it's glory waiting for you to rent it and justify it's budget. Yup, it is a remake of that Mick Jagger flick, but this one is actually Australian. Also stars the oh-so dreamy Orlando Bloom and that fiesty Naomi Watts.
Whole Ten Yards: Bruce Willis and Chandler return in this sequel about a cute gangsta and his friend. I think Amanda Peet is the gangsta, I don't know, I could be wrong. All I remember from the trailers is Bruce Willis wearing an apron. Hey, isn't Hulk Hogan in this movie too? I think they have matching aprons. How wonderful! Anyways, if you missed it in theaters, here's your chance to see Mr. Willis get in touch with his metrosexuality. Yippe Kayay, honeybunch! That's it for the newish stuff, one more though, that's not so new... High Art: Same story applies as the Celebration, so officially it is out on DVD for you.
and lastly, OUTFOXED: if you want more leftists documentaries, well this is the next big thing. It's an 'investigative' doc about Rupert Murdoch and the Fox news Channels. We have a few for rent and couple for sale, only $9.99! Jeepers! That'll make any tree-huggin, gov't-hating hippie jump for joy. I think Mr. Moore would be proud.
Thank you sweetie for joining me today. And since we've been at it for a couple of weeks now, let us know how we are doing. Would you rather read the stock report backwards while under the influence? I would too, but give us a shout out. Thanks.
Thursday, July 8, 2004
Tuesday's Releases: 7/6
ah, vacation is great. That is, when you go on one. Anywho, hello kids, how's the family? We are doing well, trying to fight off some of the June gloom and hot-ass weather. The fireworks are nice this time of year. Let's begin:
Butterfly Effect: So when you want to be taken seriously you grow some facial hair and throw down some punches right? Well that's what my main man Ashton Kutcher does in his latest punk'd-gone-wrong tale of a man who can miraculously go back in time to change his life. However with every ride in the DeLorean he ends up making things worse in the future, like his career. Oh Schnaps!
Monsieur Ibraham: Bouncing back from the TV mini-series Shaka Zulu, Omar Sharif returns in this heartwarming French film. Sharif plays Ibraham who encounters a little orphan named Momo, yeah Momo, and takes him under his wing. Their relationship spawns while my mother can't help but cry. In French with of course, subtitles. 95 minutes of pure love.
My Voyage to Italy: For all you cinegeeks out there, and even those "professionals," Martin Scorsese brings us this great, albeit 246 minute documentary about the great cinematic history of Italy. Features footage and interviews from directors and actors such as Marcello Mastroianni, Federico Fellini, Roberto Rossellini and many, many, more. If you have some time, it's definitely worth his trip.
Six Feet Under Season 2: Ok, I've received too many inquiries as to when this is finally coming out. Well, it couldn't come any sooner. If you have been salivating at the mouth, or other places for that matter, you can clean yourself off now, your new favorite HBO series is here. We have three different sets of this bad mother, hopefully enough to keep you company. When I die, I want my epitaph to read: "Catch me on the seventh season."
Also, if you catch yourself inside our store, check out our Staff Picks. Way at the top of the shelves you'll see our collective Zatoichi section. Celebrating a good 40 years of blind ass-kicking Samurai action and the recent Takeshi Kitano remake. As well as a humble tribute to the often lampooned, yet incredible acting talent of Mr. Marlon Brando.
That's it boys and girls. Have a good weekend, and we shall meet soon.
Butterfly Effect: So when you want to be taken seriously you grow some facial hair and throw down some punches right? Well that's what my main man Ashton Kutcher does in his latest punk'd-gone-wrong tale of a man who can miraculously go back in time to change his life. However with every ride in the DeLorean he ends up making things worse in the future, like his career. Oh Schnaps!
Monsieur Ibraham: Bouncing back from the TV mini-series Shaka Zulu, Omar Sharif returns in this heartwarming French film. Sharif plays Ibraham who encounters a little orphan named Momo, yeah Momo, and takes him under his wing. Their relationship spawns while my mother can't help but cry. In French with of course, subtitles. 95 minutes of pure love.
My Voyage to Italy: For all you cinegeeks out there, and even those "professionals," Martin Scorsese brings us this great, albeit 246 minute documentary about the great cinematic history of Italy. Features footage and interviews from directors and actors such as Marcello Mastroianni, Federico Fellini, Roberto Rossellini and many, many, more. If you have some time, it's definitely worth his trip.
Six Feet Under Season 2: Ok, I've received too many inquiries as to when this is finally coming out. Well, it couldn't come any sooner. If you have been salivating at the mouth, or other places for that matter, you can clean yourself off now, your new favorite HBO series is here. We have three different sets of this bad mother, hopefully enough to keep you company. When I die, I want my epitaph to read: "Catch me on the seventh season."
Also, if you catch yourself inside our store, check out our Staff Picks. Way at the top of the shelves you'll see our collective Zatoichi section. Celebrating a good 40 years of blind ass-kicking Samurai action and the recent Takeshi Kitano remake. As well as a humble tribute to the often lampooned, yet incredible acting talent of Mr. Marlon Brando.
That's it boys and girls. Have a good weekend, and we shall meet soon.
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