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howdy tuesday is upon us, and you aren't ready! I'm gonna do it anyways, and trust me, there's more gold here than in Flavor Flav's teeth let's goooo!!! Carandiru: You thought San Quintin was bad. Let's hope you don't break any laws in Brazil cuz they'll take you to school. Prison school that is. Based on certain individuals who were interred at the particular prison, the film tells tales that dead men can't. Just go watch it, and try not to drop the soap.

Coffee and Cigarettes: Calling all neurotic addicts out there. Mr. Jarmusch brings us his, "latest." Reason it's in quotes is partly because this began way back in 86 or so. So, it ain't exactly new. Showcasing various stories over a cup of joe and a cig (or two, or three, four etc) and featuring such acting talents as Iggy Pop, Steven Wright, Steve Buscemi and Bill "Ghostbustin'" Murray. It's a new store fav, so you have at least one recommendation. And, as you are watching this, keep an eye out for Gustav Mahler's Ich Bin Der Weit Abhanden Gekommen, it's beautiful.

Cassavetes Box Set: Oh man I need a mop. Every mutha f-in auteur, indie scenester, wannabe film maker, Ethan Hawkes owe their complete existence to one man. Jesus. No, kidding, but Mr. John Cassavetes himself. The Criterion Collection just issued the following on brilliant DVDs in all their glory, don't look away because you might miss it: Shawdows (feat. soundtrack by charles mingus!) Faces A Woman Under the Influence Opening Night The Killing of a Chinese Bookie If you like any kind of film, alcoholic, or misogynist, you should watch these. It's all about acting, reacting and life through a camera lens.

How to Draw a Bunny: Now something I know a little more about. This long awaited documentary about the notorious Ray Johnson. Performance artist/eccentric is the subject of this doc that interviews everybody in the blazing art world circa 70s. Andy Warhol, Roy Lichtenstein, Christo and more. This made no noise in the film world, but if you live in the art world, it's worth seeing and investigating one of art's most unusual and unheard of artist of the last century.

Mean Girls: Oh Lindsay, let me count the ways. This actually laughable (with, not at) teen comedy may be worth your dollar. I know a bunch of you saw this in the theater, because everytime I went it was sold out. You bastards. In any case, taken from everybody's high school trauma, this will bring you back to those oh nasty days when you rocked out to the New Kids, we were at war with Iraq (oh wait...) and Zack Morris was a hottie.

Mr. Show Season 4: Did anybody watch the Emmys yesterday? Well, when Arrested Development won (!) for best comedy and Mr. Bateman was giving a speech, that heffer David Cross was behind him smiling away. I think I've seen him in every project made this year. Seriously, there's no need for such greed. You got him in the Scary Movie 2, then Run ronnie Run, Arrested Devo, Mr. Show, Eternal Sunshine, Melvin Goes to Dinner. Oh boy, leave some water for the fish. I'm just kidding David, we love you here, GO DAVID!!

Smell of Camphor Fragrance and Jasmine: If anyone ever came up to me and said, "Hey you want to smell my camphor?" I would have punched him. But apparantely it smells good. But i guess not good enough alone if it needs Jasmine. Seems like an odd combo like Peanut Butter and Banana--can you say elvis and heart attack? Farsi speakers and subtitle readers--This hails from Iran where the Gohrme Zsabsi is delish (please forgive me spelling). A black comedy about a director who thinks he's dying. I just saw the box and there are Iranian Midgets!! I'm so there!

Star Wars: Shhh, can you hear that? It's the sound of a thousand nerds running to Best Buy to stand in line so they can get their grimy hands on the first of many, DVD release of S.W. The first/middle three of the series is finally out on DVD. Attached like fleas to Chewbacca is a fourth disc of a 236 minute doc regarding the films. Packaged in shiny, silver (widescreen) or gold (yeck) boxes, the franchise has come home. Now some Star Wars trivia: What type of lazer is the light saber? Who gives a sh*t!

TwentyNinePalms: French existentialism at its best. Travelling through the desert with nothing to do but argue and have tons o sex, Bruno Dumont brings us his latest. Makes me remember of the time I went out on a road trip with this hot girl I was dating. As I was watching this, it felt so vivid, my trip was exactly like that of the characters. Well, except for the tons o sex part. wah wah. :(

La Dolce Vita: Mr. Fellini releases what many consider his masterpiece on DVD. Gorgeously crafted on two discs, contains many a features with commentaries, docs, hugs and kisses. Like the Cassavetes, comes highly recommended. By the way, it translates to "the sweet life."

Thanks for stikcing around. My gut is hurting so I'm going to go now. adieu.