04:11 (greatest blog ever blogged)

Hey all

Don't hold me to it. After many false starts and listening for moans on a Disney disc, which admittedly had me fooled for a brief second, I doubt this will be the greatest blog ever blogged. One can dream. After a day of more protests, demonstrations and flag waiving (viva la raza), I'm pooped. Thankfully, this week doesn't look good-- although you should still drop bucks here-- and I can rest just a smidgeon. Enjoy your evening.

Kerry is a backstabber (ouch):

Fun with Dick and Jane: I'm guessing the fun didn't come until the movie was over. Hell, if this was a date movie, I guess there was nooooo fun with dick or jane that entire night. Sorry pimp, but you should of took her to Pride and Prejudice to show her your softer, gentler side. Of course, you would need to remove the chains from your neck, they blind her a tad bit too much. On the brighter side, date movies should be more like this, then all the incessant suffering would end.

Greatest Game Ever Played: Listen up pimps. This is a documentary based on my sex life. Take notes! See, when you go brown, you're the toast of the town. I'm just kidding, it's only loosely inspired by my life. Just kidding again. We can all rejoice now, for those of you thinking we didn't have enough films about golf. If golf ain't the most boringst sport that's not a sport ever, than this movie shant be the most boringst movie about the most boringst sport that's not a sport. You can add this to the collection right next to: The Legend of Baggar Vance, Tin Cup, Follow the Sun, Caddyshack (yeah, yeah I don't care what you say this movie sucks), Happy Gilmore, and the best of all, Bobby Jones Streak of Genius. Oh, rejoice.

An Unfinished Life: Critics called this an unfinished movie, I can't say I disagree but for all you Redford/Lopez tag team fans, this has got your names written all over it. If Redford got married to J.Lo and took her last name, he could be RoLo! or she could be J.Re! I think I like that one better.
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We have some new staff recs!! but I'll divulge next week.

worst blog ever.
www.vidtheque.com

04:04 (ups to you)

Hey'all

After being on the verge of everybody's favorite civic duty, jury selection--yay, I sit here getting spanked by my two loveliest of devils. A pleasant consolation prize, I must say. So these little devils, Nerual and Ineere, like to stand by the way side waiting for many opportunities to let those little mouths rant about Gael and their hand go swoooooooping. Ouch. muy simpatico. Anyways, wetheads came running and I'm late for church.

up yours judicial system!!

Brokeback Mountain: I'll stay away from all those incessant gay cowboy jokes that think they're funny. I like to think I have a better sense of humor than that, although many thequers would disagree 199% of the time. I know y'all bitched and moaned about the oscar upset, but no more than Dianna Ossana who flanked all over tv pissing and moaning...and maybe she's right. But I'll tell you why Crash won the oscar that night: Ludacris. He could've spinned "wish I could quit you" into a phat beat, biatches.

Chronicles of Narnia: I think it would of made beaucoux bucks had it been titled "Chronic of Narnia." Ludacris would of been in da house wit dat shit. Unfortunately, we got this C.S. Lewis adaptation that's got spindly brits running for over two hours. I seem to have a slight confusion. I always think of A Wrinkle in Time. Now that book kicks lion's ass.

New York Doll: A big hoopla is made over Arthur Kane being Mormon. Nothing wrong with that. They should've focused more on the cross dressing.. now that's scary.

President's Last Bang: A new documentary on Bill Clinton and the White House Se... psych!! Some Korean flick that looks hella coool.

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New Staff Recs next week, as well as our new trivia feature. Be a nerd, it's pretty darn cool.

www.vidtheque.com