So these blog posts haven't been around for a while. The old guy left, saying something about "pummeling people" so I offered to step in and replace his duties.
Things didn't work out as smoothly as I thought they would.
I was a fool a few months ago and was going through deep depression. When you're mixing anti-depressants with alcohol and Jack-in-the-Box, you're head is not in the right sort of mind. Through a friend of a friend of a friend, I somehow got involved with an underground glove-free boxing circuit.
Two months in the hospital, three weeks in the can, and twenty lost pounds later, I've come back to reality. My court appointed psychiatrist, Dr. Rosenthal, says that I was trying to fill a void in my life, and he was right. Being able to work on this blog again covers up part of the void (somewhere in the 73% range) and massages my mind back to stable health. And for this, I dedicate this post to Jerry Rosenthal, a court-appointed angel without wings. Thank you!
NEW RELEASES FOR 3/17/09:
The 400 Blows (Blu-Ray): Prison is a lot like the hospital. The visiting hours are short, the orange juice is from concentrate, the bed feels like a gym mat, and you hate everyone you're stuck with. Being cut off from the real world made me lose track of what the hepcats are into. Apparently, there's a new format being introduced to the market called "Digital Versatile Discs" or "DVD" for short. I'm not sure how it works, but it looks like one of my old laserdiscs except smaller. I took my EDD check and went straight to downtown Los Angeles to buy one of these mechanical doo-dad's to watch these discs. I go up to the register and the neckbearded fellow working the register chuckles. "You're going to buy THAT?" the neckbeard sez. I sez to him "Yeah. What of it?". He goes on this spiel and tangent that a new format "Blu-Ray" is coming around and that I need to be ready. Four hundred dollars later, I bought a brand new GoWell G875 Blu-Ray Player. I took it to my cousin Tony's house because his T.V. is one of those wide fancy ones. We started watching Transformers on it and I was blown away. It looked like I was watching it in the theater (and I remember how Transformers looked like in the theatre; I saw it four times). A couple of beers later, I get kicked out by my cousin's wife who was insisting I was a bad influence on my cousin, so I hit the road taking the Blu-Ray player with me. Someone from Vidyatheque suggested a film called "The 400 Blows" and that it just came out on the Blu-Ray. I told the clerk that I have a girlfriend, I don't need to rent any dirty film about 400 blows, but was assured that the film is a much different one. So I sat down on my bean bag chair, opened up a Bud-Light with Clamato and started watching this film. I haven't cried this much since my former bookie pulled my fingernails out with a plier. It's about a kid who doesn't fit in and has to deal with the ordeals of life after. I remember telling the television screen "I know how you feel, brother. I know how you feel...". That's how much this movie touched me.
Dodes'ka-Den: Akira Kurosawa directs a semi-autobiographical film about poor people in Japan, but I have to say, I can't sympathize with the characters in this film. My family had plenty of money after my mom sued McDonald's for tripping on a McNugget. She may be a quadriplegic, but she's the happiest quadriplegic I've seen after the money she got! If you enjoy feeling emotions like "pity" and "joy", this movie is your bag, but I can't say it's mine! JEOPARDY TRIVIA: Dodes'ka-Den is an onomatopoeia for the sound a train makes while passing by.
Elegy: I haven't had the pleasure of watching this film, but apparently it's about Ghandi and that Spanish actress who plays the same character in every movie doing the nasty a couple of times. Somehow Dennis Hopper is involved, too. Maybe he watches or something, I'm not too sure myself. You should rent it and tell me what goes on.
Punisher 2:War Zone: I wish I could say something neat about this film but can't. I was going to go see this film at the movies with a hot moviestar/model/astronaut, but the burrito I ate for breakfast went Punisher on my stomach and turned my lower intestine into a war zone. Be that as it may, I would watch the sequel just because Travolta isn't involved.
The Robe: Some people collect stamps. Some people collect Pokémon cards. Some people collect pogs. I happen to collect bathrobes. I have a rare collection of bathrobes, including Kenneth Anger's bathrobe c. 1959, and I have to say, it's a beautiful red bathrobe. It has the name "Kenneth Anger" studded on the back with long frills on the sleeves. Boy, was I let down when this turned out to be a film about Romans and Jesus starring Richard Burton. When will the bathrobe enthusiast finally get their film!?
Twilight: So I thought the world of romantic vampires was rid of when Anne Rice decided to write about Jesus instead. Last time romance and vampires combined in cinema was for 2002's "Queen of the Damned", and believe me when I say this, the vampires weren't the only thing the sucked about that film! Hahaha! GET IT!? SUCKED! VAMPIRES! Any hooooo, if you need to get your fix of underage-teenage-vampire lovin', or your kids are hassling you to rent this because reading the book costs too much effort to read, come in and ask for this film.
OTHER NEW RELEASES:
Burn Notice (Season 1)
Eclipse Series 15: Travels with Hiroshi Shimizu
The Hairdresser's Husband
The Last Metro
The Midnight Meat Train
First, our staff pics!
Mark W's "Films for Lovers": The big guy himself is feeling the love. I think the virus he contracted from that tick that bit him wasn't Lyme disease, but it was the love bug biting his was into his heart. This tick didn't just lay eggs under his skin, but spread a serum of love all over our recommended shelf with some of the most lovely love films that people love like "Sunrise", "A Man and a Woman", and "Palm Beach Story". I wish I knew how it felt like to be in love...
Martina M's "Besos Verdes": Miss Martina, our newest comrade in our Vidyathèque commune has made a section which she devotes to films where people get inebriated on the bourgeoisie drink of absinthe or "Green Fairy" as the cool kids call it. If you like to see fancy pants like Oscar Wilde, Vincent Van Gogh, and Dracula drink absinthe, this place is where it's happenin'!
France Gall's "Singled Out for Annihilation": It's as though France Gall peered into my soul and made a section about this bloggers life! These are all films where people are either A) being targeted or B) targeting someone else. "Cache", "Diva", and "The Silence of the Lambs" are prime, rare, and meaty examples of targeting films in this section.
Second, directors and actors!
Sean Penn's Films: Sean Penn has come pretty far. Once he was a peaceful stoner that was delayed to his senior prom by Mr. Hand, now he's an award-winning gay politician. I wish I could say I've done all that with my life. This section is practically over-flowing with Sean Penn from everything he's starred in to everything he's directed. If it's not here, it probably doesn't exist.
Slumdog Millionaire / Danny Boyle Films: So I got every Bollywood film with attractive women on the cover and every Danny Boyle film and lined 'em up on this shelf. With Indian culture being the new "it" thing, this may aid you in keeping up to date with the latest Indian music and style. This is also a section for Indian/American relations and films about vacuuming nude.
Out entrance isn't blocked, per se, but if you come visit us now, you'll see a giant wall made of plywood blocking the sun and part of the Videothèque entranceway. They are earthquake proofing the building to prepare us for the next apocalypse. According to Ron Paul, it may be coming 2012.
I pulled all my money out of IndyMac and decided to buy a house with a loan from WaMu. To put it in laymans terms, I f***ed up severely. I could really use a discount when I rent movies. Luckily, I can when I come in Wednesday. If I rent two or more movies, I can get two bucks off, which means I can buy two tacos from a truck on the way home. Sweet deal, if I say so myself.
AND WITH THAT WE'RE DONE:
And away we go!
It's good to be back, foolios! It's good to be back!
And to you MySpacers, we're on FaceBook too now! Come search for us and become our fan! I'm sure if you were a store, we would be your fan!
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