Wednesday, March 17, 2010

New Releases for March 16th, 2010, or Spring Time!

It's almost Spring! How do I know? When I stepped outside this morning, it looked like the "Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah" scene from Song of the South. The breeze was gentle, the sun not too harsh, the birds chirping, and Uncle Remus was serenading happily down my street. Feels good. Good film renting weather. Let's see what films spring has to offer us!

NEW RELEASES:

2012: We all know the world is going to end in environmental holocaust, but who knew that dreamboat John Cusack would be the one to save the day?! I hope this apocalypse comes soon so I can finally meet him, but in the meantime I can always rent the DVD or Blu-Ray, lay quietly, and dream...

Black Dynamite: After seeing this funky masterpiece, I began practicing my Ebonics non-stop, just like every jive turkey in this film speaks it: funkified, sanctified & certified. I then proceeded to have my, um, face broken in, as they told me it was a hate crime. I didn't mean to stereotype. I did it completely out of love. I guess I need to study this fly film a bit closer so that I may strut my street lingo in a more culturally sensitive manner. Why don't we watch it together?

Broken Embraces: Almodovar is in self-reflective mood in his latest about a director of kitschy comedies who goes physically and emotionally blind after, well, I can't say, otherwise I would be ruining the intrigue. Featuring muse Penelope Cruz, looking spectacular as always. The last five minutes of the film are a hilarious doozy, don't shut it off early!

Capitalism: A Love Story: My bank foreclosed my home on me, I have four kids to support and my only source of income is via blogging. In these hectic times, I'm too stressed to read a book about how every global corporation is feeding me to the sharks. That's why I like Michael Moore. He teaches with a salve of laughter, as our capitalist society runs amok!

Coco Before Chanel: My brother's girlfriend has a cat named Coco so when I see this film, I get visions of the cat hissing at me above their refrigerator. I don't care how adorable Audrey Tautou is or how adored this Coco Chanel guy is, I refuse to watch this because I'm afraid of getting flashbacks of that cat.

Hachi: A Dog's Tale: I love Akita dogs. Look at these dogs and try to deny that they're adorable (http://www.best-dog-photos.com/images/Akita-Puppies.jpg). Based on the true story of Hachiko, the world's most faithful dog, except it's been Americanized. I would say this is the most adorable film of all time, but Richard Gere has to muck it up. I'm sure if you rent it for your family your kids won't mind, they'll just focus on the cute pooch.

The Informant!: Steven Soderbergh, cinema's great workaholic, comes with his third DVD release in the span of five months. This time he brings you a comedy about whistle-blower Mark Whitacre and how he took down "the man" for his price-fixing. Matt Damon is the star and it looks as though he's added a few pounds just to entertain us. Do him the favor by renting this film.

Law Abiding Citizen: My probation officer, Officer Krazinsky, told me to watch this film as an example of how I should act. After viewing, I was shocked. I got an awesome action thriller with people getting glocked right & left by "In Living Color" alum Jamie Foxx. What's Officer K doing to me? The budget cuts must be getting to him...

Ponyo: I've seen some pretty adorable things in my life: kittens, small turtles, Akita puppies, Audrey Tautou, Richard Gere, but Ponyo is the most adorable film I have ever seen. On top of being the most adorable film I've ever seen (Sorry, Hachi), I submit it's also catnip for kiddies. Nothing pleases nor sedates children more than Miyazaki's oeuvre. I know my kids certainly love stories about fish turning into children, I'm sure yours will too.

Where the Wild Things Are: Maybe the inner child in me has passed on due to excessive blogging, but this film wasn't what I was looking for. Granted, I never bothered reading all twelve pages of the original, but the pictures of it I've seen show the creatures and the kid having a real blast! Spike Jonze, rather, gives us a film of over-sensitive beasts who can't face the reality of their existence who waste time with meaningless activities. Did I mention every character mopes the entire time and if not intoning in obnoxious voices, they speak in half-whispers? My main man Mark Ruffalo comes out for a minute and that made up for the entire film, so if you like Mark Ruffalo, I'd recommend this film!


OTHER NEW RELEASES:

$9.99 (Claymation, Aussie)
The Alcove (Erotic action!)
Alexander the Last (Joe Swanberg mumblecore indie)
Astro Boy
The Black Godfather
Breaking Bad S.2 (DVD & Blu-Ray)
Broken Embraces (DVD & Blu-Ray)
Buddenbrooks
A Call Girl
Contempt (Blu-Ray)
Did You Hear About the Morgans?
Dillinger is Dead (dir. Marco Ferreri, w/Michel Piccoli, 1969)
Doctor Faustus
Ecstasy of the Angels (Dir. Koji Wakamatsu)
Eleven Minutes (doc with Project Runway former champ, Jay McCarroll)
Examined Life (Slavoj Zizek, Cornel West and more!)
Falling
A Fool There Was
The Fourth Kind
The Fury (Dir. Brian De Palma and featuring this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njSrP-B4VN0)
Good Hair (Chris Rock doc)
Hannah Takes the Stairs (An other Joe Swanberg)
Hunger (Blu-Ray)
Heirloom (Taiwanese horror)
The Ladykillers (Blu-Ray)
Living with Tigers
Major Barbara
Motherhood (Uma Thurman)
My Little Pony: The Movie
New Urban Cowboy (doc)
Ninja Assassin (DVD & Blu-Ray)
Nurse Jackie S.1
Outbreak (Dustin Hoffman)
Plaza Suite
Precious: Based on the novel 'Push' by the poet Sapphire (DVD & Blu)
Power Play (Peter O'Toole and David Hemmings)
Ran (Blu-Ray)
Robin Hood S.3
Rocky Road to Dublin (doc)
Stone (Oz-ploitation biker film)
Torso (Italian giallo)
Unchained Memories (Slavery doc)
Up in the Air (DVD & Blu)
Vicious Kind
Wesley Willis's Joy Rides (Doc on the infamous musician)
The White Stripes: Under Great White Northern Lights (DVD & Blu-Ray)
Women in Trouble
Wonderful World

More Warner Archive:

Dance, Fools, Dance
The Flight of Dragons
Love Among Thieves
Made in Heaven
Rich, Young and Pretty
See You in the Morning
The Story of Three Loves
Sweet November
Ten Thousand Bedrooms

RECOMMENDATION FOR THE WEEK:

Revanche: Why this film didn't win best foreign film is beyond me. Comprised of two incredibly emotionally devastating stories, one about a crook and his illegal Ukrainian prostitute, the other, a cop who deals with the problems of middle class life, Revanche is handled excellently under the direction of Austrian, Gotz Spielmann. Borderline noir, but with much soft sunlight cinematography and humanistic elements, free it of any genre pigeonhole. A few flaws aside, this is one of the best and most underrated features of 2009.

NO MORE:
We're done this week
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Can you believe that Windows 98 is twelve years old now?

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Just because someone doesn't like you doesn't mean you're a bad person. It means s/he is.

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