06:02 (so this is goodbye)

Hey All,

I know it's been sometime since this ol' blogger had anyone come near it. I blame my fatigue by-way-of laziness--and really only me--however that's not to say that I haven't been thinking about my old home. I understand that today's entry is brought on by a bittersweet form of nostalgia, sadness and even excitement, nevertheless I couldn't think of a better way then this old fashioned form of networking.

There are no new releases today, those will come on Monday if I can convince someone to carry the torch--just only a few notes as I make my way out as my last day as an employee here. All around the store you'll find little hints and cues to pick up, from my last drawing of Bresson's A Man Escaped and my last set of picks, Swan Song--to my music choice of today. I don't think I've ever had this much fun working for anybody, Target comes awfully close, but is nowhere near touching the coattails of what videotheque is and has become. I wanted to extend my greatest thanks to the staff here for always making me feel like I wasn't so replaceable--for allowing me to massacre their ears with three different versions of Without You (I can't live) or endless loops of Naked Fish and joining me along for wonderful dances in the aisleways. Mark, perhaps it's better that you haven't seen the catatonic freak outs by the recommended section, but I can't say I won't miss working here, it's been excellent. Thank you for all the bones you've tossed my way and allowing me to be a part of your baby. I wasn't here from the complete get-go, but I certainly saw this sweetie grow to be waaaay better than some of others joints. And don't worry about the best of's from the Weekly--they haven't understood what Class is just yet. And for the rest of you, including the newbies, it's a shame we didn't have much longer together, but it's been my pleasure getting to know you all. And for my cohorts who've been here a little longer, we've seen some crazy shiiiiiiiit, which has made it all the better.

Lastly, my interactions with customers and you onliners have varied over the years....some are more friendly/humanly than others but you've made it a pleasure to work and chat with you over your terrible movie selection. I kid, I kid, but certainly I've made some good friends working here. Thanks for your patience with me, your kind words about the drawings, or even just extending the courtesy of actually taking whichever recommendation you ask of me. I can say at the very least, it's been interesting.

So many thanks for these wonderful few years, it's been hell and a blast. I'll be back soon enough, only this time on the other side of the counter. With Mr. Johann playing by side, Videotheque, this one's for you.

--Andy

11:28 (o glorious return)

Hey All

After a long deserved break, a tussle as to who will actually manage this shindig and a few staff add-on's, we are here waiting for all your lovin once again. Hell, we'll even take the heckling sans the racism, as long you promise to keep us warm with vegan marshmallows, smiles and a small wiggle of noses. Now suck in your thorax because here we go:

alflafa, don't cheat:

Clerks 2: How a propos to reinvigorate this blog diggity with Clerks 2. Sure, K. J. Smith has paid his attention elswhere, proper, but when happenstance lands it's sexy self in your lap, you best be buying dinner. So yes, angry clerks are back filled with obseqious banter and flat falling riffs and gags. Just don't go on getting confused with how Club VT runs it's shit. We like to run this thing like a well lubricated German, angry accents and all.

Seinfeld Season 7: November 17th. The day the laughter died. sigh.

Superman Returns: So there's been some great debate as to Brandon Routh and whether he is Super or even a Man for that matter (my lady thinks I'm both). I think he's eleventeen. In any case, this hunkydory plays the new Clark Kent and unbeknownst to me, Parker Posesy finds herself acting in this. Oh Parker, with a name and indy cred sheet like you...I guess I should understand that we all have to pay the bills. I just remember you being on every flaneur's top five, paying homage to you by looking stupid in their best attempt to mimic your costumes in Party Girl...oh no, I guess that was 'in' back then, in any case, keep on truckin Parker. Just don't go finding yourself writing a myspace blog about sexy video store clerks.

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So yeah, that's about it for this time out...short and sweet, but before we go, let me clue you in as to the ins and outs of 1005 mission st. So for the infamous Recommended wall:

at the top: we have given in to the technological gods and have brought in a slew, ok like 6, but a few Blu-Ray and HD-DVDs for those well and able to-dos with giant flat screens, and maybe even a $600 game console. (breathe) so yeah, but gawk at the lovely packaging that just may well collect dust one day.

Robert Altman 1925-2006: Yes the poor man has left us for the big cinema in the sky, surely to enthrall all those souls up above (did you get the sarcasm there?)...no no no, most of us love the guy. Come give him some rental loving in our section devoted to all that he could give.

Season's Screenings: The holidays are back, and yes this means Hannukah and ok even Kwanza, but hell no to Boxing Day! The VT staff has searched hell and high water looking for those holiday classics that you remember and even some that may cause you to scratch your head. Just don't bring the disc up and say why is this there? Just trust us, it's there for a reason.

It's beginning to look a lot like Kidsmas: If you're kids couldn't get any naggier, throw one of these on the tube and plop em down in front, and they'll be wrapped up for about 70 minutes, just enough to get your freak on with that eggnog.

A few staff picks: Rick: Sinking Ships: Hmm, let's find the metaphor, nihilistic meets impending doom of characters on boats. Yes!
Grace: Travel Time: She won't be doing much travelling with that flu of hers. Sorry Gracie!
Alpha: Don't cry Lonely Dancer: Should have been called Hold Me Closer Tiny Dancer.

Now at this point you must be saying, "who the hell is Alpha?" Yeah, we still don't know, but she's hopped onto this enterprise so say hello to her and her nice floppy hat. Other new blood:

Teresa
and the occasional Eugenia
Mark, Rick, Gracie, and Andy are still here. yay.

Ok thanks for your ears. Defintely worth the wait. No?

www.vidtheque.com

08:21 (welcome back kotter)

Hey Galang

so let's see if all my funny hasn't left me by now. Brown food will do that to you. As my young cohort looks over my shoulder to laugh at this week's insert--my first in ages--I stand here with a back that's used to old concrete and butt indented with rivets. Yes my friends, the old blogster has returned darker than before with a new found energy, one that's been left to sulk in this insufferable heat. It is good to be back home.

Bienvenido:

Just my luck: Oh tell me about it. So here's how the god's like to bend me over: I got stuck writing this week's blog.

Poseidon: I hear Fergie from BEPs plays a singer in this picture. Poseidon refers to the boat in which they ride the waves coming out of the loins of her San Diegan pants. Sick. Anywho, next time you approach Fergie just let her know that it's not the size of the poseidon, but the motion of the ocean.

Sketches of Frank Gehry: In my undergrad years as a young and fancy boy, I remember having to share the facilities with the architecture brats. These sons-of-bitches are so whiny! Also they think they're gonna be the next Frankie, but little do they know that more than likely they are going to foam my next latte. Not that I'm bitter or anything, but if you ever feel like punkin' one of these brats, just say that Neutra is soooo overrated.

Silent Hill: More like Silent theater. I heard this one's a keeper. So if you are looking for some horror film inspiration don't bother with Excorcist or Last House on the Left, just take one part Needful Things and two parts Hills Have Eyes and you get more crap than you can ask for!

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yeah I know I'm slumpin, but don't blame me. It's the insomnia speaking. Don't worry next week's The Capn's in. be well.

www.vidtheque.com

06:13 (rents not dead)

Hey gang

So on the eve of my depature (close enough anyways) I'd like to begin by wishing all of you a cool, phenomenal rest of the summer. I won't get all sentimental and stuff, but to my comrades here: Take care of the place, don't burn it down otherwise there'll be no opp. for me to write anymore, sorry I have to leave you with a thousand schedule shifts--but I promise I'll be back even browner with many a gifts. But really, thanks guys, I'll miss you.

awwwwwwwwww:

Onto the biznatch: 16 Blocks: Bruce Willis plays a badass in which he and 16 of his best friends go out clubbing and he attempts to break the world record by ruining their game. That sucks dude. I say he's no real friend of yours if you're just on the brink of getting some and he comes over says: "hey man, you're mom and girlfriend are on the line." or "Dude, did you ever clean up that pesky pest problem downstairs?" I know, I know, he always goes too far.

Chappelle's Block Party: Good Ol' D is back in this soon-to-be-classic directed by our very own Michel Gondry. Ok he's not ours, but we sure he was. Big D goes around the country setting up shop, bringing along hopefuls for a big ass partay in NYC. Hop along so you can get your groove thing goin and your bling blingin.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: Sounds like you can't get away from Gene Simmons. He's even in your porn.

Neil Young: Heart of Gold: The new doc featuring the altGod Neil hammering away even at 110 years old. Watch him on the Grand Ol Opry with the young Emmylou and others. Feature Jonathan Demme behind the camera...oooh.

Pink Panther: Somehow I wish it was Robert Begnini doing the panther. He would be sooooo funny. I think he would be jumping up and down, loving the culprit for letting him catch them and he might even make out with the chief. But no, they had to bring in Beyonce and Mr. Steven Martin. I once saw Steve at MOCA. It was pretty slick. He had a PYT with him, showin her how classy he is, probably gonna say to her later: hey darlin, why don't you star in my remake of What's Happenin?

World's Fastest Indian: Anthony Hopkins is a native american. Yup, forget that yuppie brit accent. Here, he rocks the socks off that New Zealand accent. Ok not too far away from the brits, but his range is still good right? Who else can play a cannibal, an Indian-like, and even Dick Nixon. Yes I know, they're all the same character.

other notables I'm too lazy to write about:
Cemetary Man (!)
the sisters
kids in the hall
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls dvd (!)
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ok friends, enjoy yourselves, find yourselves and be happy.

www.vidtheque.com
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06:06 (knew order)

"Do you have a Jerry Bruckheimer section?" Quite possibly the funniest seven words ever asked to a geeky video store clerk. Ok, so it's not that funny especially after the prick kept laughing at his own joke. Maybe the kicker is when he came up to me again and asked if have this film called "titanic." I said sure, it's up your ass. Ok, this timid thing didn't say that, but man I wish you did.

blogging's for wimps:

Boys of Baraka: My vote for the coolest cover/poster art for the year. Featuring a kick ass watercolor painting by some body. This doc is like an idealist's answer to Scared Straight. That's good for me to know, for when that day comes that little ol me has little ol ones, and those bitches be misbehavin', their asses are off to Kenya.

Firewall: "Give me back my daughter!" Hmm, that's not right, let's try "Get off my plane!!" nooo, how about "It was the one armed man!" uhh "Sushi. That's what my ex-wife called me - cold fish" Still no, "Snakes! I hate snakes!" Ah hell, I give up.

Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic: She is soooo right. He is magic. He could cure leprosy and stuff, even the blind! And who else could rise seven days after they crucified him?! Gosh, he's someone to look up to. And check out that wicked beard. If only I was magic....

Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada: I speak spanish and I so desperately wish I could pronounce that.

Underworld: Evolution: Nerds will rejoice when they learn that the latest in comic/fantasy/videogame epics is out here. It will rival for space on your shelf between your o.o.p (out of print for you none collectors) This is Spinal Tap Criterion Collection and the four disc set of Hellboy. Make sure you show it off to the ladies, they lloooooovvvveeeee completists. ooooohhh.

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New Staff Recs and Stuff!!

Catch a special section for an indie fave, Mathieu Kassovitz! Probably better known for his photo-booth hunting role in Amelie than the director of HATE, this kid's got some talent. Impress the Franks with your knowledge of his oeuvre: Cafe Au Lait, Birthday Girl, Gothika and more.
Shohei Imamura 1926-2006: Acclaimed Japanese director has left us for greener pastures. See what subtle and often times, scary and subversive beauty he brings us. Kim Ki-Duk should be grateful. Think: Pornographers, Warm water under the red bridge and Vengeance is mine.
Ken Loach: Flying high off his winning the Palme d'Or at Cannes, we figured we'd help a brother out and promote the sucker's flicks. So let's play some catch up: A Fond Kiss, Kes, My name is Joe and many others.
Mark: Holidays in the Sun: Mark's getting all summery on us. Get ready for a little sunshine with his picks featuring all hot bods getting sweaty and wetty, at the beach of course. Bring in the season with Gidget, beach blanket bimbo et al.
Andy: Vamanos! If you're not at the beach, you're getting out of the country. Well, at least Andy is. He's gettin ready for his mighty excursion to our neighbor's down south. Give him love.
Phamdiggity: No Sleep Till...: I think I wrote about this last week, but if you're tired, can't sleep, this is it. Get your sheep on.

ok, love one another and stay cool.

www.vidtheque.com

05:30 (nothing memorable here)

Hey all

As all yee are enjoying the sweltering sun with bbq's, swims, countless radio countdowns and frisbeez, we here are slaving away this national holiday to bring you some love. And seeing as this weekend I had the unfortunate duty of attending a funeral, don't waster your memorial day weekend.

something to be grateful for:
(maybe not actually)

Date Movie: Thinking that this masterpiece would be akin to those scary movie movies, not another teen movies, or even airplane!, this was indeed not even close. The funniest thing in this picture is the commentary which features two critics who bash(ed) the films. My buddy Sanchez was telling me how he thought it was ironic and funny to take his date to see date movie. Suave like Rico baby.

Queer as Folk Final Season: Surprise!! They're not really gay!

Touch the Sound: From the director of Rivers and Tides comes another profile doc on Evelyn Glennie, a world renown percussionist who pulls it Beethoven style--deafly!. Thomas Reideshshsncmcxmahajdildelnabslllerennvbrntner directs this doc with close attention payed to sound (of course) and by the end you don't know if you're watching a profile or a sound collage of sorts. Pretty neat, especially if you do Baraka or Koyannisqatsi.
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*sigh* Didn't I hint that it wasn't hot stuff today. Ok lovebirds, be nice to each other.

www.vidtheque.com

05:23 (sore arms)

Hey Galang

I stand here insulted. The two witches of the west, or let's say Marino have stopped by and laughed at me. At me! Alas, I can forget this little offence by suggesting that the two little one aren't of age--you know--to be cool. So those two uncool ladies will have to live with knowing that all of the fox newscorp myspace community thinks of them as yucky. Thanks girls, rock on.

vengeance is mine:

Big Buy: See how Tom Delay was able to get congress for dirt cheap. I think it was like shopping spree. I hear at this place though you can get some great deals on DVDs and refrigerators too, maybe even a senator!

High School Musical: Reportedly, accroding to IMDB, the new sensation to sweep tweenies (wtf?). When I was a tween all I wanted to do was read my comic books and get uber excited when I was at the drive-in and snuck a peak at the rated -R flick playing right behind me. Who the hell cares about a high school musical? Although, I must admit that when I was a young ten year old, I tried out for sneezy in Snow White and lost the part to my pal Carl Branvold. That baptist son-of-a-bitch can kiss my sneezy ass.

London: Picadilly Circus this is not. Sounds like love's come to town and it's looking for some trouble. I think I just referenced like 3 songs, did you catch those? Anyways, Jason Statham isn't kicking down doors or looking for a diamond in this one, but rather playing a softy. How much more romantic can you get when a cockney goes up to you and seductively asks you to shag. Ooooh, me shakin in me knickers.

Transamerica: How awesome is that they made a biopic of our very own Lauren! They profile this transsexual in her cross country trek with her loving young boy. Dude, Lauren gets around. Can you believe she's only a young adult and has gone through all this? Yeps, some of us certainly do get around.

Other notable notes:
Deadwood S2
Viridiana
Who gets to call it art?
SNL Cheri Oteri

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Two additional staff recs!
Phamdiggity: I Can't Sleep: Complaining about her lack of ZzZzs from partying too much, Phammers has found characters to empathize with. Get your sheep on.
Erin: You've got the wrong guy!: Fresnian Erin brings us many, ok ten, cases of mistaken identity. Just when you though you and your credit card were safe, forget it, you're F'd.

short and sweet and lovely.

www.vidtheque.com