06:21 (buy my buffy)

yo.
I can't believe on probably one of the biggest weeks of news, I was off somewhere fighting over some dude who wants me to buy his dvd collection. From Jacko getting off (ahem), to earthquakes, to Tom and Katie getting hitched and even Leo getting his faced ripped open, we were nowhere to be found. I know you come here for the laughs each and every week, but alas last week, I failed you. My sincerest apologies and I promise that when a hot story breaks, we'll be here to bring the funny. As a small side note, happy day of birth to the Captain who remains in our cerebral cortex each and every day:

go get em tiger!:

Coach Carter: The Captain and I were having a discussion on how this film reminds me tonsly of Lean on Me. He hadn't seen it, so to better visualize the scene for him, I reenacted the following scene: (something to the effect of) Mean, Cheating Schoolboard Woman Whom You Recognize From Carmen San Diego: "He is sucking our children's life away!" Burly, Proud and Going From Zero to Hero 3rd Year Student: "Suck on this bitch!" (grabs his chatanoogas). And Scene. And oh how we laughed. Unfortunately there is no chatanooga grabbing that I know of in Coach Carter, but it's aight, you gots BadAssMoFo Samuel L. Jackson in a role only Coolio was born to play.

Cursed: After watching director Wes Craven on the frustratingly addictive Project Greenlight, it made me wonder how he was so afraid to be associated with "Feast" and then drivels out this (un)watchable dreck. Save that's my onion opinion, but come on, if it walks like a shitty movie, it just might be one. I know I'm being mean, but here's a some good things about it: it's got Creature Editing 101; French Language Track(!); and it's copy protected! Wicked Awesome!

Hostage: I would hope that I am never a Bruce Willis character. That guy gets dragged through so much mud and dirt, yeck! And even worse yet, would be his family. Take the Die Hards for example, or Armageddon, the family's always at the whim of evil, and that sucks. Anyways, the title itself may just tell you about the entire plot, but hey give old Bruce a chance.

The Jacket: A titular piece of clothing provides means for time travel (wtf?). Well, I guess it can't be that outrageous if a fridge can do the same in "Primer." Still, a jacket? Admittedly, that would be pretty dope. I would use it to take myself back in time to change the moment when I first used the term,"pretty dope." And my guess is, Adrien Brody would go back to the night he gave it to Halle Berry.

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I know it ain't that great of a week, but it'll get better, I promise. Also, some very exciting news. VT has worked long and hard on their latest baby. We proudly present:
Bit Part (a videotheque zine)
Featuring commentary, lists, rants, observations, letters, images and text! Come by at the end of the week to grab yours. See what little we do with our time!

go out and picket at Santa Maria.

www.vidtheque.com