He yall So they elected a new guy. You would think they would have it mind to get someone say, a tad bit younger. From what I also hear, there is this little bitty rumor of his treue to a certain, past, um, totalitarian regime circa 1940s. Hmmm... I'm no conspiracy theorist, nor some anti-christ, but I'm just saying is all. Anyways, while I rot away in hell here's something that will take your mind off my purgatory: It's hot down here:
The Assassination of Richard M. Nixon: Ok, the "M" really isn't in the title, but if the producers were going to be so succinct with the naming of this film, would an extra letter really of hurt? No. Plus, the "M" stands for Milhous! Sean Penn plays Samuel Bicke, yet another mentally disturbed character, as the boy who wants to crash an airliner into the white house! Crazy coincidence? I hope not, I hope Niels Mueller is on the run cuz here comes the fuzz!
Blade Trinity: Ex-Guy (from 2 guys, a girl and pizza parlor) Ryan Reynolds has stated that he hates Wesley Snipes cuz he's a dick. I'm inclined to agree with him. Apparently, Snipes was in character 24/7 and alienated everybody-including Reynolds. Now wouldn't it be ironic if Alanis came over to the set and whooped his ass? Nah, that would be just fortunate.
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events: Watch me tie the word "unfortunate" into the following: I happened to be on an unfortunate plane back from unfortunate Connecticut when unfortunate American Airlines made an unfortunate decision of playing this unfortunate movie. There's only so many words that I can handle in a title, and since Milhous ain't one of them, I'm outee.
The Manson Family: Blood, gore, sex and bald heads fill this movie. The latest attempt to encompass the fog of Manson. A culty appeal I can assumer, but man there is a ton of blood in this thing.
Undertow: David Gordon Green is my shining light. No, he's not, that title belongs to Lynne Ramsay, but hell he's pretty close. His latest is everything from thriller to 70s homage. It was quiet at the box office, but even Roger Ebert likes it--and he hates everything that doesn't have nudity. Recommended.
8888888888888888888888888888888
Well, it's a bit slow this week, so that's it. Please. Go. Home.
www.vidtheque.com
Monday, April 25, 2005
Monday, April 18, 2005
04:19 (slowly, surely)
Hey gang Have you ever thought how great life can be if everyone drove at the speed you did? Yeah, it would awesome wouldn't it. Welps, seeing as I and maybe a select few have lead feet, my dreams are far from being reality. I remember once, ages ago, there was some talk and a design for a high that drives the car for you! Obviously it's some planner's sick joke to get us erected (not sexually you pervert) and tumble us back down. Sigh. I'm just ever so glad that tomorrow's releases will get me and Mike up in Seattle off the gas and on our ass(es). So enjoy these and the lymeric. I get car sick in boats:
Birth: Nicole "Yek" Kidman stars in Jonathan Glazer's thriller about the Buddhist belief of reincarnation. Some kid shows up at her door to lay claim that she is his wife and he, her dead husband. And I quote: "Sup, baby! Yo daddy's hear to ya hom and smack that!" Or to the effect of. Watch it to see how Kubrickian it is and awe at the wonders of aging in Ms. Lauren Bacall.
House of Flying Daggers: Sometimes I pride ourselves a little too much and think we are good. Damn good. But let's not be egotistical, it's just that we've had this mutha 4-eva! Albeit a Korean import, but hell, any which way you can. Anyways, swing on by and grab the official "american" copy.
Genealogies of a Crime: Cat Deneuve stars in Raoul Ruiz's 1997 release of a murder mystery. Michel Picoli co-stars. I don't have anything funny to say about this, so I am going to cut my losses and move on. Continuer..
A Lovesong for Bobby Long: I won't go into the details as to why they call him Bobby Long, but Scarlett Johansson is happy to be near him. Someone needs to call Jenny Jones and get John Travolta a make-over. Man, I'm not sure if that's make-up or what Scientology does to you. Damn you L. Ron Hubbard, what have you done to my Vinnie Barbarino!!
Meet The Fockers: So the ongoing joke in the world is to take the Fock and substitute it for another more famous four letter f-word. You see, it's funny because it's like you ARE cussing, but you AREN'T. Now, if there was no such thing as the word "fuck" that wouldn't be funny. But thanks to laws of semiotics, signs and signifiers-it is. Thank you Mr. Roland Barthes. In conjuction with the celebration, below I have listed possible euphemisms and adjectives to use on your loved ones. Enjoy: "Don't be such a dumbass you motherfocker!" "Put that donut down you focker!" "When I'm done with you, I'm gonna fock you, fock your mom and fock your third cousin--in the ear!" "Hey baby, ever focked like a wallaby before?" "Oh man, this movie's focked."
Primer: A surprising winner in my book, Primer is Shane Caruth's first outing into the world of Hollywood. I think he tops Vincent Gallo in wearing more hats in the production of this than anybody I've ever known. I came into this with no expectation of liking but left definitely happy. Now, I ain't painting you a picture out of gold or anything, but if you like an interesting, strange story and Donnie Darko than your in. But don't hold me to it.
A Red Bear: That was my nickname in high school because I was and am so damn cuddly. And when they tickled me, I turned red and ate them.
***************** Staff Recs Updated (kinda, hardly) Meg/Spiritual Solutions Kat/Some Kinda Love
That's it for now. Thank you for daring to be a part of this. Adieu
www.vidtheque.com
Birth: Nicole "Yek" Kidman stars in Jonathan Glazer's thriller about the Buddhist belief of reincarnation. Some kid shows up at her door to lay claim that she is his wife and he, her dead husband. And I quote: "Sup, baby! Yo daddy's hear to ya hom and smack that!" Or to the effect of. Watch it to see how Kubrickian it is and awe at the wonders of aging in Ms. Lauren Bacall.
House of Flying Daggers: Sometimes I pride ourselves a little too much and think we are good. Damn good. But let's not be egotistical, it's just that we've had this mutha 4-eva! Albeit a Korean import, but hell, any which way you can. Anyways, swing on by and grab the official "american" copy.
Genealogies of a Crime: Cat Deneuve stars in Raoul Ruiz's 1997 release of a murder mystery. Michel Picoli co-stars. I don't have anything funny to say about this, so I am going to cut my losses and move on. Continuer..
A Lovesong for Bobby Long: I won't go into the details as to why they call him Bobby Long, but Scarlett Johansson is happy to be near him. Someone needs to call Jenny Jones and get John Travolta a make-over. Man, I'm not sure if that's make-up or what Scientology does to you. Damn you L. Ron Hubbard, what have you done to my Vinnie Barbarino!!
Meet The Fockers: So the ongoing joke in the world is to take the Fock and substitute it for another more famous four letter f-word. You see, it's funny because it's like you ARE cussing, but you AREN'T. Now, if there was no such thing as the word "fuck" that wouldn't be funny. But thanks to laws of semiotics, signs and signifiers-it is. Thank you Mr. Roland Barthes. In conjuction with the celebration, below I have listed possible euphemisms and adjectives to use on your loved ones. Enjoy: "Don't be such a dumbass you motherfocker!" "Put that donut down you focker!" "When I'm done with you, I'm gonna fock you, fock your mom and fock your third cousin--in the ear!" "Hey baby, ever focked like a wallaby before?" "Oh man, this movie's focked."
Primer: A surprising winner in my book, Primer is Shane Caruth's first outing into the world of Hollywood. I think he tops Vincent Gallo in wearing more hats in the production of this than anybody I've ever known. I came into this with no expectation of liking but left definitely happy. Now, I ain't painting you a picture out of gold or anything, but if you like an interesting, strange story and Donnie Darko than your in. But don't hold me to it.
A Red Bear: That was my nickname in high school because I was and am so damn cuddly. And when they tickled me, I turned red and ate them.
***************** Staff Recs Updated (kinda, hardly) Meg/Spiritual Solutions Kat/Some Kinda Love
That's it for now. Thank you for daring to be a part of this. Adieu
www.vidtheque.com
Monday, April 11, 2005
04:12 (glorious return)
Woowee! Hey all You'll have to excuse me for missing last week's uppy, I was unfortunately incapacitated due to my misfortune involving a girl, a ball, and a slippery floor. D'oh! Anyways, since I know you've been waiting here on myspace.com salivating eagerly for our return, I can only do what I know best to repay you. So my friend, I encourage you to sit back, close your eyes and relax: Now you've spoiled it!
Bad Edumacation: The man known as Almodovar has returned with this widely-seen new feature entitled, Mala Educacion! Gael Garcia Bernal stars as a possible alter ego for Mr. Almoldovar(?) with mystery, film, and of course deviant sex. A bit too flashy for my taste, but if you notice carefully at the least hmm, 3-4 films of Almo, the "women" dwindle by every film. It's kind of ironic too, seeing as his biggest fanbase are those ubiquitous desperate housewives. (yek!)
Criminal: I don't give a flying crap what you say about this man, but I looooveee John C. Reilly. And apparently so does Mr. P.T. Anderson. Welps, this flick is of course a remake of the nice Argentinian Nine Queens. It's full of tricks, cons, laughs and Maggie Gyllenhaal. That should be enough for you so go on, get outta here.
Dig!: [Their !, not mine.] Eagerly anticipated by hipsters and sub-par musical lovers everywhere, this doc tracks the love/hate/hate relationship of The Dandy Warhols and The Brian Jonestown Massacre. If you are familiar with their music, I'm sorry, but if you ain't this doc would surely keep you entertained or at least occupied for two hours. See, what they should've done was make a doc about Hall/Oats v. Air Supply. There's more cat fighting in that than an Almodovar flick! In any case, rent it, buy it, and then go to Amoeba and ask Joel Glion to sign your copy. He'll love you dude!
Hotel Rwanda: Don "The Chameleon" Cheadle stars in this critically lauded indie about the Rwandian incident. It's good when films also serve as history books. I still have no clue what the 'incident' is. Maybe I should educate myself and take a gander. Or only half watch it while I go on friendster(!), but then that would be bad education wouldn't it! Ha!
Ocean's Twelve: I think of these guys as the new Rat Pack. It must've been hard making this movie, drudging away to set via limo, having to wait on the yacht submitting to meals of caviar and champagne. Jeez, and here I thought Soderbergh hadn't lost his humility.
Suspect Zero: Ghandi himself stars as a mass murderer on the loose while two naive FiBIs try too bring him to justice. One of them is played by Aaron Eckhart and I hate that guy.
The Woodsman: I wanted to catch this one at the boxxx office but ran out of time. Kevin and his Bacon star as a reformed? pedophile erst while Ben Bratt keeps an eerie, almost sexual eye on him as he lives near a school. Good idea huh? Kyra Sedgwick wants his lovin. See? It's a perfect date movie!
*********************** And that's about it, I think you our staff picks this time 'round, but I'll go ahead and repeat them for you.
They are: Mark/Foreign Film Fiesta Rick/Double Crossing Dames Andy/The Strokes Mega/Who do you think you are? (which is in the process of dismantling) Elise/See ya, Wouldn't Wanna be Ya! (she's gone) Jesse/Infotainment Kat/My Favorite Boys
I think that brings us to the end. Go out, buy yourself a mini, and live the splendid world. Now get off our myspace property. Ciao!
www.vidtheque.com
Bad Edumacation: The man known as Almodovar has returned with this widely-seen new feature entitled, Mala Educacion! Gael Garcia Bernal stars as a possible alter ego for Mr. Almoldovar(?) with mystery, film, and of course deviant sex. A bit too flashy for my taste, but if you notice carefully at the least hmm, 3-4 films of Almo, the "women" dwindle by every film. It's kind of ironic too, seeing as his biggest fanbase are those ubiquitous desperate housewives. (yek!)
Criminal: I don't give a flying crap what you say about this man, but I looooveee John C. Reilly. And apparently so does Mr. P.T. Anderson. Welps, this flick is of course a remake of the nice Argentinian Nine Queens. It's full of tricks, cons, laughs and Maggie Gyllenhaal. That should be enough for you so go on, get outta here.
Dig!: [Their !, not mine.] Eagerly anticipated by hipsters and sub-par musical lovers everywhere, this doc tracks the love/hate/hate relationship of The Dandy Warhols and The Brian Jonestown Massacre. If you are familiar with their music, I'm sorry, but if you ain't this doc would surely keep you entertained or at least occupied for two hours. See, what they should've done was make a doc about Hall/Oats v. Air Supply. There's more cat fighting in that than an Almodovar flick! In any case, rent it, buy it, and then go to Amoeba and ask Joel Glion to sign your copy. He'll love you dude!
Hotel Rwanda: Don "The Chameleon" Cheadle stars in this critically lauded indie about the Rwandian incident. It's good when films also serve as history books. I still have no clue what the 'incident' is. Maybe I should educate myself and take a gander. Or only half watch it while I go on friendster(!), but then that would be bad education wouldn't it! Ha!
Ocean's Twelve: I think of these guys as the new Rat Pack. It must've been hard making this movie, drudging away to set via limo, having to wait on the yacht submitting to meals of caviar and champagne. Jeez, and here I thought Soderbergh hadn't lost his humility.
Suspect Zero: Ghandi himself stars as a mass murderer on the loose while two naive FiBIs try too bring him to justice. One of them is played by Aaron Eckhart and I hate that guy.
The Woodsman: I wanted to catch this one at the boxxx office but ran out of time. Kevin and his Bacon star as a reformed? pedophile erst while Ben Bratt keeps an eerie, almost sexual eye on him as he lives near a school. Good idea huh? Kyra Sedgwick wants his lovin. See? It's a perfect date movie!
*********************** And that's about it, I think you our staff picks this time 'round, but I'll go ahead and repeat them for you.
They are: Mark/Foreign Film Fiesta Rick/Double Crossing Dames Andy/The Strokes Mega/Who do you think you are? (which is in the process of dismantling) Elise/See ya, Wouldn't Wanna be Ya! (she's gone) Jesse/Infotainment Kat/My Favorite Boys
I think that brings us to the end. Go out, buy yourself a mini, and live the splendid world. Now get off our myspace property. Ciao!
www.vidtheque.com
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