Woowee! Hey all You'll have to excuse me for missing last week's uppy, I was unfortunately incapacitated due to my misfortune involving a girl, a ball, and a slippery floor. D'oh! Anyways, since I know you've been waiting here on myspace.com salivating eagerly for our return, I can only do what I know best to repay you. So my friend, I encourage you to sit back, close your eyes and relax: Now you've spoiled it!
Bad Edumacation: The man known as Almodovar has returned with this widely-seen new feature entitled, Mala Educacion! Gael Garcia Bernal stars as a possible alter ego for Mr. Almoldovar(?) with mystery, film, and of course deviant sex. A bit too flashy for my taste, but if you notice carefully at the least hmm, 3-4 films of Almo, the "women" dwindle by every film. It's kind of ironic too, seeing as his biggest fanbase are those ubiquitous desperate housewives. (yek!)
Criminal: I don't give a flying crap what you say about this man, but I looooveee John C. Reilly. And apparently so does Mr. P.T. Anderson. Welps, this flick is of course a remake of the nice Argentinian Nine Queens. It's full of tricks, cons, laughs and Maggie Gyllenhaal. That should be enough for you so go on, get outta here.
Dig!: [Their !, not mine.] Eagerly anticipated by hipsters and sub-par musical lovers everywhere, this doc tracks the love/hate/hate relationship of The Dandy Warhols and The Brian Jonestown Massacre. If you are familiar with their music, I'm sorry, but if you ain't this doc would surely keep you entertained or at least occupied for two hours. See, what they should've done was make a doc about Hall/Oats v. Air Supply. There's more cat fighting in that than an Almodovar flick! In any case, rent it, buy it, and then go to Amoeba and ask Joel Glion to sign your copy. He'll love you dude!
Hotel Rwanda: Don "The Chameleon" Cheadle stars in this critically lauded indie about the Rwandian incident. It's good when films also serve as history books. I still have no clue what the 'incident' is. Maybe I should educate myself and take a gander. Or only half watch it while I go on friendster(!), but then that would be bad education wouldn't it! Ha!
Ocean's Twelve: I think of these guys as the new Rat Pack. It must've been hard making this movie, drudging away to set via limo, having to wait on the yacht submitting to meals of caviar and champagne. Jeez, and here I thought Soderbergh hadn't lost his humility.
Suspect Zero: Ghandi himself stars as a mass murderer on the loose while two naive FiBIs try too bring him to justice. One of them is played by Aaron Eckhart and I hate that guy.
The Woodsman: I wanted to catch this one at the boxxx office but ran out of time. Kevin and his Bacon star as a reformed? pedophile erst while Ben Bratt keeps an eerie, almost sexual eye on him as he lives near a school. Good idea huh? Kyra Sedgwick wants his lovin. See? It's a perfect date movie!
*********************** And that's about it, I think you our staff picks this time 'round, but I'll go ahead and repeat them for you.
They are: Mark/Foreign Film Fiesta Rick/Double Crossing Dames Andy/The Strokes Mega/Who do you think you are? (which is in the process of dismantling) Elise/See ya, Wouldn't Wanna be Ya! (she's gone) Jesse/Infotainment Kat/My Favorite Boys
I think that brings us to the end. Go out, buy yourself a mini, and live the splendid world. Now get off our myspace property. Ciao!
www.vidtheque.com
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