So, the thing is this, um, yeah, I was shaving in the bushes of the parking lot out in back of B of A this morning when some kids rolled up on their skateboards and they says to me, they says, "Hey, Mike, are you gonna dress up for Halloween?"
My answer to them was simple. I says to them, I says, "I enjoy any holiday 'cause it gives me a nice, warm, fuzzy feeling and an overall optimism about the future because there is that dear, dear, holiday rapidly approaching - especially on Halloween in an election year, because when you are trick-or-treating, it's a great opportunity to knock down or take lawn signs for candidates or propositions which you don't necessarily agree with - but of course, not until after they have given you candy. But I digress, young child-with-a-board-on-wheels. What am I going as for Halloween? That's easy. The same thing I do every year, which is, I cover myself in green makeup and go as Shrek, and I carry around one of those ... uh ... boom boxes with that song 'All Star' by Smash Mouth playing on it."
A lotta, lotta people don't like Smash Mouth, and with good reason - they are a little annoying - but I don't mind them. They once said, "You'll never shine if you don't glow," and I think they had a good point there.
NEW RELEASES 10/28:
ANNIE LEIBOVITZ: LIFE THROUGH A LENS: I haven't watched this 'cause at first I thought it was a sequel to "The Eyes of Laura Mars," and then I further wasn't watching it 'cause I saw it was a documentary about a photographer and I usually don't like photographers 'cause they killed Princess Diana, but then when I was doing my research for the ... uh ... blog, I saw that Annie Leibovitz took many a photograph of celebrities and celebrities make everything okay. She took photos including, but not limited to, the Rolling Stone cover with John Lennon taken the day of his death. I will always be mad at Jared Leto for killing him.
BILLY THE KID: Once in a lifetime a movie comes along that just speaks to you on every possible level, and you say to yourself, tearfully, "That ... that's why the ... uh ... cinema was invented." Such is the case with "Billy the Kid." The Casting Director from "Bugcrush" directs this film which does for the documentary what "Lawrence of Arabia" did for movies about guys in flowing white robes. The film follows a week in the life of Billy in his hometown of Brunswick, Maine as he experiences the trials and tribulations of being a sophomore and an outsider, and unrequited love as he falls in love with a WWE fanatic with lazy eyes, and throughout it all, Billy demonstrates more game and is more of a gentleman than either Ryan Gosling or I can ever hope to be.
JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH: Brendan Fraser stars in this reworking of the Jules Verne classic where for convoluted reasons he winds up in the center of the Earth with the kid from "Bridge to Terabithia," and some woman who seems to be dressed for summer weather in Iceland. I thought I knew a lot about science and whatnot, but as it turns out, there is a whole magical world inside the center of the Earth which I was completely unawares of. Plus with the advent of 3-D, which was invented for this film, you can enjoy the movie with some dorky-looking paper glasses that make the movie look like you're watching it through a View Master. Also, in my opinion, there are just not enough Brendan Fraser movies. I think that each Brendan Fraser performance should be cherished, 'cause on a long enough time line, there'll come a day when he will no longer be able to make movies and you'll miss him. And a note to Hollywood: please make as many Brendan Fraser movies as possible, while you can, for the above mentioned reasons. Thanks.
KIT KITTREDGE - AN AMERICAN GIRL: You're probably thinking, "Ooh, ooh, finally the TV series with Margaret Cho is available on DVD!" Think again, wishful thinking person. This is actually the sequel to "Nim's Island" starring the flash-in-the-pan from "Little Miss Sunshine." Nim's back on the mainland, but still has a hankering for the island life, so she builds a tree house in her backyard where she hangs out with the girls from "Heavenly Creatures" and they plot to pull the ol' bricks-in-a-stocking trick on anybody who approaches the treehouse, proving the old theory: girl is an island.
THE L-WORD - SEASON 5: The L-Word is my favoritest TV show ever. It makes "Sex and the City" look like a slow ride to grandmother's house. Plus my best friend Stewie writes for it, 'cause he's in touch with his feminine side. Really in touch. So, when you are done voting "No" on "Hate" go into Videotheque and pick up the ol' L-Word.
RAIN OF FIRE: When I saw the cover of this movie, I thought it was post-stroke Kirk Douglas, but then doing research for the ... uh ... blog, I realized this is a movie from 1977. I guess I forgot how old he looked in the 1970's. Afterall, I was born in 1994. It's not like I was watching movies in the 1970's. Anywhoo, Christian Bale plays the older version of a young boy who loses his single parent to fire-breathing dragons and then Matthew McConaghey shows up and kicks dragon butt. Then Kirk Douglas comes along and poses for a cover the looks very similar to "The Devil's Advocate" even though this movie was made 20 years earlier.
ZOMBIE STRIPPERS: Jenna Jameson stars as Jenna Jameson in this raucous romp where the world of zombies and the world of strippers collide. In general, in my personal life, I put strippers on a pedestal, so I can only advocate this film if it puts strippers on a pedestal as well, which I get the impression that it does.
The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad
The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse
Charlie Parker & Dizzy Gillespie: The Founding Fathers of Be Bop
Family Guy, Vol. 5 - Season 5, Part 1
Family Guy, Vol. 6
Happy Mondays: Call the Cops
Incredible Hulk (Blu-ray)
James Ellroy's Feast of Death
John Coltrane: A True Innovator
The Little Giant
The Mighty Boosh - Series 1
Murder, Spies & Voting Lies
A Nightmare on Elm Street 5-8
Planet Earth (Blu-ray)
Public Enemies: The Golden Age of the Gangster Film
Sister Act + Sister Act 2 - Back in the Habit
Steve Coogan Live
Tis Pity She's a Whore
The sale that we had in October is now over. I'd just like to thank all the customers who came in on Wednesdays in October and made it a success despite the way the sale was inadequately advertised, thanks to the idiot who designed the flyer.
Come into the store this All Saint's Eve and pick up your favorite horror haunts from our haunted horror section and the recommended wall where the staff has pulled together once again, despite their differences and recommended some haunted horror haunts.
If Halloween passes and you haven't had enough Halloween, then you can still come into the store and still rent some haunted horror haunts until you get it out of your system.
Also, if people are bumping into you on purpose and then acting like it's your fault, come in and check out the Democracy at Work section where you can enjoy politics-related films while you get amped up about voting and/or hugging your poll worker on Tuesday regardless of whether or not they want you to.
...and that's why if you're on death row, it's ironic and will get you headlines if you request a Happy Meal for your last meal.