I like movies. In fact, I'd dare say, I love 'em. Problem is with new movies, we tend to get 3-5 crummy ones coming down the pike. Here, I submit to you, my top five peeves:
- (WO)MANCHILDREN: I don't know "what the deal is with these movies" (said in Jerry Seinfeld stand-up mode), but so many have characters who refuse to grow up, act their age, or take responsibility in life. It's pervasive across the board-- drama, comedy, and indie films alike. Are we really all stuck in this perrenial adolescent period or is it just that these movies will predictably rake in the dough? You rarely see movies with real men and women with REAL problems to move the drama.
- SELF EVIDENT QUIRKINESS: These wear me down. The ones where people all have the same anti-social quirk (a popular addendum to this is the inclusion of endless noir style references). Can we not develop films without these traits?
- LAME ACTION FILMS: All a good action movie needs is a villain you love to hate, a tough guy and a big gun. Nowadays it's non-stop explosions, quick cuts and Nicholas Cage. Seriously, this doesn't seem the hardest genre to mangle, yet is done all too frequently. Memo to Hollywood: quit with the PG-13 action. When people get shot, they bleed, not shake their arms like crazy and fall to the floor.
- KIDS MOVIES THAT HAVE SOMETHING TO TEACH YOU: When I was a kid, I despaired none more than during didactic cartoons with a moral to unload. You're a kid for so short of a period, why to waste away in front of such dross? Rarely now is there good fantasy, violence, or humor in kids' pics. Instead, we face the barrage of superfluous tongue in cheek jokes for adults who can't stay awake next to the kid otherwise.
- MOVIES WITH A TWIST AT THE END: There are some directors who can pull this off (Hitchcock) and those who cannot (most everyone else). The "twist" is all too often a gimmic to try to save an already sub-standard story. Let's put it to rest.
I'm sure there are many more things that furrow my brow, but these take the cake. Take them as you will, just promise not to lynch me for my comments!
24 S7: Ever noticed that he Kiefer Sutherland says "Where's the bomb?" a lot? Aside from that, I haven't seen these show in a couple of seasons, but I remember it being pretty awesome. It has Kiefer Sutherland. It has to be good.
Beyond Rangoon: New to DVD is John Boorman's 1995 film starring Patricia Arquette stuck in Thailand during a bad time. I'm not sure what time it is though. I'm a product of the American public education system and as such, I know nothing about other cultures and countries. Then again, I know nothing about culture and country. Shame, shame, shame on me.
K*ke Like Me: Oye! Vay! Celebrate my people's legacy with a documentary about what it takes to be Jewish. It's about time someone has the chutzpah to make a movie like this. Hopefully, it talks about all my favorite stereotypes! Shalom!
New In Town: Watch Renee Zellweger scrunch her face over and over again in this new romantic comedy where she plays a hot shot moving from Miami to Minnesota. See how the snowy fields of Minnesota melt her frozen heart as she falls in love with the Hunkasaurus Rex; Harry Connick, Jr.
The Princess of Nebraska/A Thousand Years of Good Prayers: Wayne Wang, off the success of "Because of Winn-Dixie" and some Queen Latifah movie, has gone back to making intimate lower budget features with things like "emotion" and "social commentary". Both films are about the Chinese-American experience in a post-Mao world. I actually didn't know about these until the moment I was writing this blog. I wish I knew. I would've seen these.
The Sky Crawlers: Japanese animator Mamoru Oshii desecrates the history of the world with his new anime about an alternate universe where people still resort to dogfights in the sky instead of solving their problems with biological, nuclear, thermal, and anti-matter weapons. I'm sure there's a love story involved somewhere too. Rent it and tell me when you get the chance.
Zabriskie Point: Hate Capitalism? I sure don't. Well, I can't. I don't have the time and have bills and what not so I depend on your dollars to live. Well, if you really, really hate it you should rent "Zabriskie Point" to stick it to the man. Then again, if you rent it, you pay for it, which makes you a healthy clog in the Capitalist machine. Damn, this is confusing. Also, this edition is missing the Pink Floyd reprise after the famous explosion(s). Instead, we get Roy Orbison singing about Zabriskie Point in his falsetto.
OTHER NEW RELEASES:
4 for Texas
Century of the Self
Four Eyed Monsters
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (Blu)
I'm Alan Partridge/Series 2
Jingle All the Way
The Morning After
Nenett + Boni
MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Be careful of wearing shirts. Today, I went into Trader Joe's, and the sleeve caught onto a six pack of Heineken and I pulled it straight to the floor. Foam flooded the floor as green glass spread throughout the front. All I wanted was a salad, and instead wasted six perfectly fine beers. And it's hot too. Someone could've used those beers in this weather.
I'm a PC.
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