New Releases for May 5th, or Watch Out! Swine Flu!

April 26th, 2009
Dear blog,

I hope all is well. So recently I've been noticing a girl who works at a book store in Pasadena. She so cute. She seems to have an interest in Rimbaud, Bukowski, and western philosophy. To sum it up: my kinda girl. She has what I call "specs-appeal". The glasses she wears kills me, but in a good way, like how if I eat something spicy it kills me. It's just extra frosting on the proverbial cake. She was nice enough to talk to me and give me her name. It was Judy. Judy is a cute name. Judy, Judy, Judy, Judy. Judy. I'm going to rip a page out of the book I bought just so I can say it was defective and get a change to talk to her again. Oh Judy!

April 27th, 2009

You won't belive it blog! I went there and went into a robotic trance. My eyes were only focused on finding Judy. When I found her, I did something I never did; I played it smooth! I corrected my posture, got the dandruff out of my hair, and was making joke and witty observation left and right. And then BOOM! Just like that I asked her out. There was a brief pause. Those three seconds felt like an eternity. I felt the sweat drip off my back and onto my butt. The right side of my left brow had an itch that I just refused to scratch. I was expecting to get maced or stabbed or slapped or kicked in the nads any second. She gave me her very cute honest smile and said yes. She said yes! SHE SAID YES! I was as giddy as a schoolgirl but didn't act like that of course. I just continued to play it cool. I said at meet her in the evening of the 29th. She gave me her phone number and address and I just went and hit the rickety-road.

April 28th, 2009

Today was my day off from work. I went to the laundry and did some minor grovery shopping. Nothing big today. Two weird things I noticed today. First, when I went on the train, there were signs telling me how they are using a new cleaning technique to prevent the spread of disease. Second, I noticed people were reading newspapers that all had headlines with the word "SWINE" on it. I'm a busy man and don't have the time to read the rest of the headling, but that word just sticked out like a pig in a chicken coop. I just ignored it, went home, and saw some re-runs of Mama's Family.

April 29th, 2009

Today was the day. I get put on my cleanest clothes and went to meet Judy. Everything started off okay. We went mini-golfing, got some burgers, and just went cruising around the San Gabriel Valley. I pulled over to Inspiration Point to see how far I can take this date. When the car stopped, I open a bottle of wine I stole from work and poured it into the paper cups we were drinking our Coca-Cola's in. The middle of her second glass, she started coughing profusely. After the third she said she wasn't feeling so good to which I replied "I got just the medicine for you". I went in for the kiss. I kissed her, but her lips sort just stayed still. I felt that her forehead was pretty hot. Still in the "being cool" aura, I said "Am I making you hot?" She then begged to go home, but said it wasn't my fault. Phew! I thought I screwed up big time. She said she felt "flu-lie symptoms" and that she'd like to go home. She apologized and told me to call her tomorrow. We said our good-byes and went our seperate ways. What a night...

April 30th, 2009

I called her around 3:02. Someone told me once that if I called at an exact minute, that it was weird. When I called I got her roommate on the line. The roommate was yelling that the government had checked her temperature and said she had the "swine flu". She said to hurry and help. I went to her house and saw some G-man standing guard. I started asking him what happened. He refused to answer my questions. When I explained to him that something fishy is going on and how she got sick last night he asked if I had any contact with her. I answered that all I got to do was kiss her. As soon as I said that, a group of men in white suits surrounded me, removed my clothes and put me into a van. The van drove off for what must've felt like hours. When it stopped, they gave me a white jumpsuit and the put into a detainment center for people with the "swine flu". I told them that I felt fine but they didn't care. To pass the time, I just replayed episodes of "Seinfeld" in my head. And I thought last night was bad...

April 31st, 2009

I've been looking around this center looking for Judy. No luck. All I found were a bunch of sick people. Speaking of being sick, I'm feeling a bit feverish myself right about now. It's strange that I'm feeling these "flu-like symptoms" as well. I'm going to cut this entry early and get some rest.

May 1st, 2009

I'm not feeling good at all. I started craving a double-cheese burger all of the sudden. Then when the concept of of actually eating the burger hit me, I felt like throwing up. I'm sure I would've thrown up, but my stomach was empty. Then I felt hungry all over again, and then felt again. It's a vicious cycle I tell you. Geez, I'm starting to feel worse by the minute...

May 2nd, 2009

Blog... Please send help... I'm so hungry... Need a cheese-burgerrrrr...

NEW RELEASES:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: I like David Fincher. I really, really do. Seven is awesome. Fight Club is awesome. Zodiac was the best movie of 2007. Then he follows up a film as great as Zodiac with this. Let it be known that I have not seen this film, but I plan to. I have the best hopes that this film isn't as bad as the cover makes me think it is. If it made it to the Criterion Collection, it has to have some amount of worth. Stay tuned for updates on my feelings of this film.

Last Chance Harvey: The star of "Straw Dogs" shows you that he's still capable of love. He's now in London falling in love with Miss Emma Thompson. Normally, I'd say something bad about this movie or bash the concept of "love", but I've now come to peace with myself and have now accepted that love is a normal human emotion.

Look: LOOK! It's a movie that works on one gimmick! Every single shot is shot via surveillance camera! This would be cool if it wasn't for the fact everything is staged. Remember those shows they use to have on Fox in the mid-nineties where they would show you the best footage ever shot with a surveillance camera? I just remember it would show you the horrors of what goes on behind the scenes of your local super market's meat section or footage of people peeing in the office coffee pot. If this movie was that, I'd watch it.

Wendy and Lucy: My god! Dog movies have finally penetrated the art film world! Is nothing sacred no more?

OTHER NEW RELEASES:

The Burrowers
Charles Mingus Epitaph
Concret Revolution
The Electric Horseman
Enchanted April
Evil Dead II (Blu)
Gary Numan
Glam Rock
The Greatest Show on Earth
Halloween (Blu)
I.O.U.S.A.
JCVD (Blu)
Kung Fu Mahjong
Little Dorrit
The Mary Tyler Moore Show S.2
The Mighty Boosh S.2
The Mighty Boosh S.3
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (Blu)
Oz S.4
Peter Bear: Scrapbook From Africa and Beyond
Pride and Prejudice (Blu)
Raquel
Roman De Gare
Roxy Music: The Highroad
The Shaggy Dog
Sixty Six
Strange Story of Joe Meek
Suburban Mayhem
This is Tom Jones
Trival
Weeds S.1 (Blu)
Wild China

ADIOS:

Thanks for reading!

www.vidtheque.comI'm sure if I were an artist, I'm sure I could come up with some pseudo-intellectual meaning behind this photo. I just think it's neat.

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
While doing research on the Swine Flu, I discovered that Jimmy Buffett is now a novelist. He wrote a novel called "Swine Not?". I think the moral is, if you're Jimmy Buffett, don't write a book.