Hey'all So a monkey attacked a neighbor of mine. He reportedly lost several important elements from his body and is in crucial decision. I did not here the news first, it was actually told to me, but when my lady friend spilled the beans, I couldn't help but laugh a little. I got the: "Don't laugh! Its not funny!"... Yeah, I know, I shouldn't of, but it was kinda funny. A monkey! While I burn in hell, here's something for you to chew on: Broccoli is a good source of iron!
Alfie: Smarmy-ass Jude Law is a pimpin' bachelor in this not-so-witty remake. If you didn't know how sexy he was before this, then watch all these gorgeous young and old women fall in love with him and bump uglies. Then, you'll know who Jude Law is. And when you find out, go share the news with Chris Rock. Sean Penn will love you for it.
A Fond Kiss: Quiet but store-fave Ken Loach returns with his tenth film this year!! No, really this is his first, but that man pops them out like corn. I think he's got Michael Winterbottom just about beat. Loach and his D.P. should tie their legs together, as well Winterbottom and his, and race the three-legged 100 meter dash. And as Team Winterbottom approaches the finish line, Loach will throw his DP into them, trip them and cross gloriously over the line. And being no gracious winner, he'll turn around and laugh at his name and excl.. "Is it cold down there, Winterbottom?!"
The Incredibles: Every review or blurb of this film is usually followed by "incredible." Not so original is it? so I will strive to avoid that word in an effort to bring you a not-as-lame review. Let's begin: Pixar's latest is a testament to their genius. The awesome rendering of characters AND story is rare in all the other CGI junk. No Shark Tale this is. Take this home and enjoy the wonder that is the animated bloopers! See, it wasn't THAT lame.
What the Bleep Do We Know?: Everyone says this is amazing. I say, get a better title, and then maybe it'll be amazing. Also, get a better designer for your cover. Your current one didn't know jack. Anyways, What The Yowzoo is a doc that eats narrative and poops out animation. It'll take you through the world of quantam physics that Mr. Hawking might have missed and leave you wishing that Einstein was still alive to explain it to you. Now that would be another awesome three-legged race.
******** Note: I know that the New Releases have been a little weak sauce as of late, but you should understand that just because I don't write about them, doesn't mean they don't exist. Meaning, we get tons of new crap in everyday, and I'd be a mad man to try to catalog them all. Plus, I'm a tad bit lazy and that's too much work. So if you don't hear or see it, drop us a line and we shall let you know for sure. Deal?
And that's it, next week we just might, maybe, possibly have new Staff Recs. It could happen. take care of yourself. ti amo.
www.vidtheque.com
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