Hejdo I have Animal Collective's Queen in my Pictures playing behind me, and I can't help but think how much enjoyment those folks get out of doing such silly little things. I suppose I'll never know, 'specially since VTers aren't letting me in on the gag. Oh well, to hell with them! No I keed, I love them, er like them, so no harm no foul. Whatever. Anyways, it's either my bad case of menopause or the heat that's dragging me down, but my collar's feeling like a hot plate, and I be running around in circles here at VTland. Our governor doesn't believe in energy, so I suppose I can kiss the A/C adios. A big, fat one with tongue. Now that I've turned you on, read this with a sexy voice, and think of me in lace: Ohh yeah, that's the ticket:
Bright Future: Japan's other Kurosawa (Kiyoshi; who I bet hates it when he's referred to by the "other Kurosawa." Eh) brings us his latest story about crazy people. Although this isn't his typical suspense/horror motif, it certainly isn't Tampopo. Ingredients: Two Men; Jellyfish; A Murder; Dead-end Jobs; and some girl. See? That's not horror, horror would be the look on my mom's face when I erupted out of there. :(
Fear X: Let me quote Rick once again: "Did you know they made nine sequels to Fear [with Marky Mark], and they've reached the 10th one starring John Turturro?" Well, that is indeed incorrect, from what I know, it has nothing to do with Fear or that Rollercoaster scene, but by the looks of the cover, they seem to want to capitalize on Depp's and JT's success with Secret Window. And can you believe I got all that simply by looking at the cover? That's to you, Mr. Roland Barthes. (*Note: When pronouncing Barthes, the "s" is silent).
The Hillz: I won't say much about this thang, but it stars Paris Hilton. But I'm sure most of you have seen Hilton's better performance in her other "film."
The I Inside: Winner of the 2004 Academy Award for Best Foreign... Meh? Oh that would be the SEA inside! How silly of me. I have no idea where this came from, nor do I really care, but it's good to see that Ryan Phillipe's sub-par career hasn't gone completely down the drain. Well, let's not kid ourselves, after all, the ladies did love Gosford Park. Too bad their ears weren't able to pick up all the dialogue. Anyways, The I Inside....hmm...oh yes! it's a taut psychological thriller with a killer ending! The box compares it to Memento, except it's not backwards told.
Ladder 49: Wouldn't it be cool if the building that was on fire was the Scientology HQ on Melrose (or is Sunset)? And John Travolta runs out instead of the kids and people, he has stacks of Dianetics in his hands. That would be totally rad. I would pay to see that. Oh! and Joaquin Phoenix is singing Hey Ya by Outkast all the while trying to remember how he got into the business to begin with, and then concludes: "I'm getting to old for this." Boy that would be the best!
Stage Beauty: I wonder what Chris Rock would say about this particular item. I'm sure he'd love it, but only after the media makes certain they have their sound byte. He'd probably say something to the effect of: "Only straight black men will love this movie!" And then the Israelies and Palestinians will kiss and make up, Travolta's hair mystery will be solved, and my head will explode from such wonderment in this world.
****** Our Staff Recs are disabled at the moment for those glory hogs (oscar nominees) but they should be up in no time.
and that will conclude this week's blog blogger. Get out and get made.
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