I found a cure for the plague of the 20th century, and now I’ve lost it!

So, um, yeah, the thing is this, please let's just talk about my problems while I ignore all of yours.

NEW RELEASESES for 04/29

27 Dresses: I really related with the main character in this film. She has traded married life for being single forever. And it's by choice, you know. It's so that she can always have hot hate sex with random strangers.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly: I really related with the main character in this film. When this movie first came out I saw Julian Schnabel on Chuck Rose on PBS (which funnily enough is in the special features on this DVD), and I thought he was pretentious as holy hell and denounced this film from my viewing palate before I even saw it. Then at the DGA Awards when he won Best Director, he told Sean Young to have another drink, and I thought, "Hey, that guy's not so bad." Then I watched the movie and enjoyed it. And then I re-watched that episode of Chuck Rose and now I don't think he was pretentious as holy hell. I think maybe he was really just tired, which I can also relate to. 'Cause I often eat paint chips from old buildings for breakfast and then I am tired all day and then people think I'm stuck up.

The Golden Compass: I really related with the bear in this movie. For most of the movie. Everything in it except for the part where he tells this girl to ride him. There seems to be a new trend of movies that are basically kids movies, but are rated such that even the protagonist could not see it, for example "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy, the "Harry Potter" septillionogy, "Pan's Labyrinth" and now "The Golden Compass" so selfishly corrupt your kids with scenes of graphic war violence and pretend you didn't notice what it was rated.

Other New Releases:
King Corn
The Red Balloon/White Mane

SALE
Wednesdays in April we've been having a sale. Tomorrow's the last day on account of the month ending. It's our way of giving back to the people during the Great Depression, Part II. So purchases of posters, comics, Used and New DVDs are 10% off, and we have a cart filled with a wide variety of DVDs for $1, $3, and $5. Take advantage of this while it lasts, all tomorrow!

SIDEWALK

The sidewalk out front is all tore up and all that's left is dirt. So if you like to walk in dirt, this is your time to shine!

RECOMMENDED

When I'm not having my dreams destroyed by Bob, I like to recommend things. So, do other people. You probably would too if you worked in an environment where you could recommend things, but you don't so you have to live vicariously through these people:

Grace's Pix Short 'N' Sweet vs. Big & Beautiful: This section features movies where people have short hair and movies where people have big hair, including movies like "G.I. Jane" and "Tank Girl" and "G.I. Jane" and other films where women are in possession of heavy artillary.

Mark A's Pix: I would say what this section is called, but it is in hyroglyphics, but they're random movies, and they are a wholesome bunch of movies, 'cause this is a wholesome guy, movies like "Wizard" and "That Darn Cat" can be found here.

France Gall's Pix J'attends un enfant: That's right French '60s icon France Gall is back and she's recommending movies at the 'theque. Her section has something to do with overpopulation. I'm not 100% certain, though, 'cause I flunked out of French in high school ... well, actually, I was kicked out 'cause I kept saying "zut alors!" over and over again. "Rosemary's Baby" and "The Bad Seed" can be found here. A great section to visit after watching "27 Dresses!"

Rick's Pix Alba-vision: Rick's an a-hole. He stole this terminology from a friend who recently defected. Here you can find many Jessica Alba films, and any that you are looking for are sure to be here, on account of nobody rents from this section. Seriously, though, "Into the Blue" was good. Seriously. It's no "Dead Calm" but if you want to watch "Dead Calm" and it's checked out, seriously, "Knife in the Water," errr... I mean, "Into the Blue," seriously.

We also have recommended sections for Jules Dassin and Chuck Heston and Ollie Jonston 'cause they dead.

On that positive note...

www.vidtheque.com