11:16

Hey

It is Monday eve and ready to roar. My head's a little shaky these days, I feel more and more like Hemmingway. As I hope you are recovering well, I press on foward with our collective silliness and reparte. So as you are keeping one eye to the monitor and the other to the Rebel Billionare, I have some interesting items for you. Please pay attention, I'm only going to say this once.

and, off, we....go!

The Chronicles of Riddick: At first glance I swear it was another dirty movie. Vin Diesel's (actually I think his real name is something like Mark Vincent, ha!) voice gets even lower, if you can believe it, in this follow up to 2000's Pitch Black. He is a blind man who conquers adversity and learns to fuse Gospel and Soul together. He brought us such hits as "Georgia on my Mind" and....err, nevermind. I hear he fights some aliens and Dame Judy Dench's hair. Let me know.

Elf: I can't say I've seen this, but looking at Will Ferrell's track record, it's bound to include a gratuitous butt shot. Oh yeah, and be a bit funny too. He plays a non-real elf looking for his real dad. My best guess would be to track down Wilt Chamberlain or Kobe. Just a thought.

I'll Sleep When I'm Dead: Well duh. The latest in almost-cleverly titled films, comes to us from Mike Hodges. If his name rings a bell, it's because he did the little-seen Croupier and the o.g. Get Carter. And you don't want to get to know him. If his films say anything about the man, he'll kick you in the shin and laugh at you. So I say run or get back at him by coming up with a better title like "My Cheese Don't Rot" or "Don't Pee on my Leg and Tell Me It's Raining." I think that last one's taken though.

The Office Special: The special what? Tenth episode anniversary? What is it that's so special? Damn Brits trying to always be so clever, did you not read above? Anyways, people can't stop loving this show. It's a "where are they now" episode over at Wernham Hogg. See 90 minutes of office humor and lunacy. I wish I could watch it, but I don't speak British.

The Saddest Music in the World: Have you heard that song by The Cure? It'd make a good candidate I'm sure. Or maybe that's for the sulkiest music in the world? Whatever. Cult/Indie fave Guy Maddin's latest shot on grainy B&W and some woman with beer legs. It will remind you of David Lynch and Fargo fo sho'. Watch it and you look at Joel Peter Witkin photographs in a whole new way.

Smithereens: Susan Seidelman (Desperately Seeking Susan) brings you this flashback set in the 80's East Village. Set to music by The Feelies and featuring Richard Hell, the story follows a Jersey girl wanting to break into the NYC music scene. For fans of Downtown 81.

PeeWee's Playhouse V1&2: These massive sets include up to 5 seasons of this insanely bizarre show. Featuring Paul Rubens at the height of his fame, watch him act creepy and scare your children. In hindisight, it becomes so clear doesn't it?

Come check out our staff picks. They kick ass. Do it because we deserve it. 4 funny categories! C'mon! Also, don't forget the holidays are coming. We are heavily stocking our DVD racks with the craziest shit you've ever seen. Priced at the best we can do, where else can you get David Lynch's Eraserhead, the Tinto Brass Collection, or Warhol's rare Chelsea Girls? We also have very pretty gift certs, rental passes and sweet sweet candy! Remember you can't spell "have a quasi-merry christmas, ok dude" without Videotheque!

goodbye, we love you. http://www.vidtheque.com