11:23

Howdy I've been in this town and walked back to the city. Fell in love with a beautiful girl who happened to be Spanish. She made paella and it made me gag. While she laid her smackdown, I kep thinking, Lalalaa llaaa lalaa, I wish I was at Videotheque. and you know, in the cantina, a margarita keeps the spirits high. So while your downing good ol' spirits, here's what's smellin this week. onetwothree!

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Hhhheeeee's back! Before I get into this, you may want to change your child's pants. Mr. boy Potter and his hormones are in for their umpteenth installment adapted from the cashcow books. This time it's directed by Mexican perv, Alfonso Cuaron, better known by Y Tu Mama Tambien. My Mexican mom loved that movie, except ya' know, all that sex stuff. Anyways, Pooter wants some Hermione action, but badass Sirius Black gets in the way. But who is this Sirius, and is he serious? HA! I gotta say, Oldman got a pretty baaaad name for his character. He should be counting his blessings that it wasn't Ron Weasley.

Seinfeld Seasons 1-3: The one you've been waiting for. Now you should go change YOUR pants. Jerry, Cosmo, Elaine and George are all back with nothing. Perfect for your television needs, the set is about 8 discs wide with plenty of little bitty extras. Some may call this your favorite show ever, others prefer Teletubbies, whatever the case may be, stop watching so much tv.

Sleepover: I would love to. Oh, teens? Naw, too old. ANYWAYS, this little film was probably overshadowed by Mean Girls and The Thunderbirds, but nows your chance to give it some respectability. That is, if teen comedy is your thang. And probably more respectability than I've given VT. I'm sorry guys!

Stealing Sinatra: Someone stole our copies.

The Terminal: Oscar-schlepper Tom Hanks teams up again with Oscar-schleppee Steven Spielbie. This time, Hanks is stranded in an airport with no volleyball to talk to, he then paints a face onto his luggage and commits lascivious acts with them. He tries to converse with the airport crew, but have you ever tried talking to them? All you get are grunts. Especially during these times of high stress and orange color bars. Catherine-Zeta Jones is in this for some unknown reason. Maybe Oscar dust will rub off on her too. We can all dream, can't we?

Zhou Yu's Train: It's kinkier than you think. A cermacist takes a train ride to have "mad passionate love with him" (taken from IMDB) and then meets someone else, and takes another train to have "mad passionate love with him" and then meets more people to have "mad passionate love with them." See, I told you so. Now if a man was doing this, they'd call him a slut! Goddamn sexism! One day I'm gonna meet someone and take a train to have "mad passionate love with him" err her.

If your looking to blow some cash, send it our way! We've stocked our DVD racks with some of the craziest shit eva! We got everything from David Lynch's Short Films to the badass Cassavetes DVD box set. Let's not forget our supercool Posters, Gift Certs in any amount, Rental Certs and enough candy to give you seven cavities! That's it.

See what you have to be thankful for! Everyone here at VT wants to wish you and your loved ones a great holiday. Don't yell at your family, sit down, be grateful, and save me a slice of Tofurkey. When you get back or have some time from all that holiday shopping, come by and check out soon-to-be-up holiday wall. Filled with all the madness that yule tide brings us; you can veg out in the attic while your fam tries to act civil. goodbye friends, I'll see you when I'm in debt. www.vidtheque.com