When I'm not receiving morality lectures from people who don't know me very well, I like to open the mail. We gotted another letter from Rick. None of us went to Laughlin to pick him up 'cause he didn't include directions or a return address on his post card. His letter read as follows:
"Dear Greenhorn,
When crossing the street, you only need to press the crosswalk button once. It's not a contest to see who can press the button the most.
Your pal, Rick.
P.S. On my way to Area 51 to see if the gopher from 'Caddyshack' is still there after starring in the latest Indiana Jones movie.
P.P.S. Have plans to shake hands with danger. If you never hear from me again, that is why.
P.P.P.S. 'Bad Influence' goes in Action."
SHOW STOPPERS 06/24
10,000 B.C.: So, I saw "Land of the Lost" and "Clan of the Cave Bear" and for some reason that wasn't enough of a lesson for me, so like a chump I threw this one in the ol' DVD player. Roland Emmerich, the man who brought you "Independence Day" and "What's-It-Called" brings you this fine film. I'm not sure when exactly it takes place. Possibly the early 1950s. Apparently through much research they figured out that the cave peoples spoke English and sounded like they were reading their lines. So if you like to see people you can't sympathize with hunt oversized CGI animals, you are in for a treat!
BELLE TOUJOURS: In my day-per-page Sports Illustrated swimsuit calendar there's a belle du jours every jours. Oh snap! I don't know what I'm talking about, I'll read the cover. Hold on...
Oh ... I wasn't far off. Manoel de Oliveira's homage to Bunuel's 1967 erotic masterpiece "Belle de Jour." See, that's how you get a blog like this, by knowing what things mean even when you don't know what they mean. Mmmm ... eroticism.
BONNEVILLE: It's usually a good sign when a movie is named after a car, I mean look at "Pontiac Moon" and "Christine" and "Dodgeball." All good movies. Warm weather is just about the greatest thing ever. What was I talking about? Goodnight, Dallas! Anywhoo ... Yeah. The thing is this ... Jessica Lange, Kathy Bates, and Joan Allen star in this strangely-derivative-of-"Thelma and Louise" road movie that will make you laugh and make you cry and make you wonder if filming this movie was a good use of dwindling fossil fuels. Ya dig? Fo' sho'.
CHARLIE BARTLETT: Sometimes in life you have to accept the possibility that kids who watched "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" and "Parker Lewis Can't Lose" will grow up, have a sustained love affair with some sweet, sweet anti-depressants and go on to make movies with cinematographers who aren't quite as skilled as Tak Fujimoto.
DEFINITELY, MAYBE: You and I, we're gonna live forever. So, um, yeah, the thing is this, you see, Ryan Reynolds plays Jack Cusack in this film about a guy explaining to the girl from "Little Miss Sunshine" why mommie and daddie don't like each other anymore. I remember when I had the same talk with my dad where he explained that he and my mom were getting a divorce and that it was my fault.
HONEYDRIPPER: When I'm not walking around with my chest stuck out to impress people with my pseudo-manliness, I like to watch films by John Sayles. This John Sayles movie is no different. It's rural Alabama in the 1950s and people are picking cotton during the day in brand new clothes right off the rack and then going to the club at night, still in brand new clothes on real neat sets. It's neat. It's all neat. If you like things that are neat, sometimes too neat, almost unrealistically neat, you'll enjoy this one. I know I did! Mmmm ... honey.
IN BRUGES: Colin Farrell's my home boy and has been since "Ballykissangel" so my intent was to watch this one, especially since this is the latest movie that nobody knows how to pronounce but everybody wants to watch, but I mismanaged my time, what with all the morality lectures, and mail, and walking around with my chest stuck out and I can't forget, Goodnight, Dallas, the warm weather, so I missed this one, but my uncle told me that someone in it climbs up a tower after losing a lot of blood and Chuck told me that it's weird so I can't wait to see it one day when I'm able to manage my time better, which will be never.
PERSEPOLIS: I felt somewhat of a duty to watch this one 'cause it's the latest movie that nobody knows how to pronounce but everybody wants to watch, but I didn't watch it 'cause in the commercial this girl was singing "Eye of the Tiger" out of key and I was like, "Man, if that's a highlight of the movie, what else must happen in it? Later for that, yo's!" But if you don't judge a movie by its trailer or don't mind "Eye of the Tiger" you must watch this. Watch it now!
THE SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES: My tolerance for Freddie Highmore was tested to such an extent during "August Rush" that I've got Freddie Highmore-lash, but if you liked "The Chronicles of Narnia," "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone," "Prince Caspian," "Harry Potter and the Gobbles of Fire," "The Golden Compass," "Harry Potter und die Kammer des Schreckens," "Bridge to Terabithia," "Harry Potter and the Order of Joaquin Phoenix," "Lord of the Rings," basically any movie with a wand in it, "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Zelda," "Ratcatcher," "Ali: Fear Eats the Soul," and every Woody Allen movie ever made, you'll probably slug your best buddy to get your mitts on this magic!
UNDER THE SAME MOON: I think that the title of this film makes a good point. A young boy in Mexico is being taken care of by his grandmother while his mom works illegally in the U.S., but when his grandmother passes away he goes on a journey to find his mother. The point being that there ain't no mountain ... errr ... border high enough.
OTHER SHOW STOPPERS:
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE
THE ANGELIC CONVERSATION
BLACK RAIN
BLUE
THE BRANDON TEENA STORY
CARAVAGGIO
CHOKING MAN
FINISHING THE GAME
JOY DIVISION
THE LATHER EFFECT
RUN LOLA RUN (BLU-RAY)
STEEP
WITTGENSTEIN
YOU THINK YOU REALLY KNOW ME - THE GARY WILSON STORY
ZAPPA PLAYS ZAPPA
www.vidtheque.com
...and that's why a high speed train between San Diego, L.A., and San Francisco would be a good thing.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Readymade Film Fest Tonight!
Hey! This is Son of Sam kind of weather and probably not safe to be out walking in the evening. Instead, go in of doors where there are a lotta, lotta people 'cause lone sociopaths who take advantage of warm weather won't attack you in a crowd.
P.H.A.T.
Network
&
A Means Of Production!
invite you to
[Picture missing]
JOIN US FOR AN EVENING WATCHING SOME OF GREAT SHORTS MADE BY LOCAL L.A.
INDEPENDENT FILMMAKERS!!
FILMS INCLUDE
DOCS, LIVE ACTION, ANIMATION, & EXPERIMENTAL.
Some of the films have done the festival circuit this past year including the South by Southwest Film Festival and the Berlin Film Festival.
Now, the films come to Los Angeles to showcase to the filmmakers' home crowd!!
For a list of this year's films, screening schedule and
more info on our infamous after party visit our web site at:
http://www. readymadefilmfest. com
Tickets to the festival will be available at the venue on the day of the event. Early arrival strongly suggested.
For directions to the venue click here.
[Still missing]
RMFF TICKET HOLDERS WILL HAVE
FULL ACCESS TO THE AFTER PARTY!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
I’ll be Bill Murray and you’ll be everyone else.
A lotta, lotta people say to me, they say, "Hey, Phillip, what did you do for Father's Day weekend?"
Well, my answer to that is simple, this past Friday was the manditory staff softball game. I was really disappointed because everybody on my team kept dropping the ball so we lost. At one point someone threw a cooler filled with Izze across the field and yelled, "Quit dropping the ball!"
Then the next day I went bowling with my girlfriend 'cause we are in a bowling league. At one point, when it was my turn to bowl she told me that she was gonna invite me to her wedding and then as she kept talking it dawned on me that she's going to marry her other boyfriend. I was so in shock that I dropped my ball ... in the gutter. She said, "Your ball is in the gutter." Then I took her ball, went to the front entrance, and threw it out the door and into the parking lot and yelled, "At least I have a ball!"
Then I sent my dad a homemade card that said, "Hey, Happy Father's Day, even though you dropped the ball."
NEW RELEASES 06/14
BE KIND REWIND: There is a subgenre of movies where a building is going to get demolished and the protagonists have to save it from evil developers and in most cases they're successful, for example, "Batteries Not Included," and "Harley Davidson & the Man," and now "Be Kind Rewind." Basically, it's a fairy tale. It's hard for me to pass judgment on a benevolent, well-meaning French man like Michel Gondry, so I won't poo-pooh on this one. I will just say, it pays to be benevolent and well-meaning, 'cause then you can make movies like this and people won't hate you. At least people who like benevolence, anyway.
CARAMEL: If you liked "Beauty Shop" starring Queen Latifah, this Lebanese film about 5 women in a Beirut beauty salon will wake up your heart ... if that's possible.
CHAOS THEORY: Every now and then you might come across an actor like say, Ryan Reynolds and think to yourself, "Self, this guy has the comedic timing of Chevy Chase in the early 80s," and so you start watching everything they do and then after a couple years, rather than doing run-of-the-mill big budget movies they start doing low budget independent films that make you wish the script had been through a few more rewrites. But if you can relate to a guy who's life is in shambles (I can!!!) you might enjoy this.
CLASSE TOUS RISQUES: When I was in high school I tous a risques every time I ditched classe. That's how I got to where I am today. No seriously. Claude Sautet. French 60s. Mafia. Criterion. No seriously. Crime doesn't pay. Stay in school. Seriously.
FOOL'S GOLD: Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Lopez star in this delightful romantic comedy about a wedding planner who falls in love with the groom in the biggest wedding of her career ... oh, wait. Sorry. Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson star in this delightful romantic comedy about an advertising executive who bets he can make a woman fall in love with him in 10 days and he meets a woman researching an article called, "How to lose a guy..." oh, wait. Sorry. Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker star in this delightful romantic comedy about a thirtysomething slacker who is set up with his dream girl by his parents who want him to move out ... oh, wait. I give up. I accidentally watched a movie the other day that had Matthew McConaughey in it and as I was watching him I started to think that he looked like the Mona Lisa and then thinking that started to ruin the movie for me. Not that the movie wasn't ruined anyway. But if you want to watch a Matthew McConaughey that doesn't put me in a rage watch "13 Conversations About One Thing," but only after you've watched "Fool's Gold" 'cause there are people in bathing suits on the cover.
MY MOM'S NEW BOYFRIEND: I read the synopsis on the back of this movie and it sounds like something I would write. That's code for: crap. I think Colin Hanks stars as a 12-year-old FBI Agent, kind of like Agent Cody Banks and his mom starts dating Antonio Bandaris who is a guy who young Cody Banks is surveilling and then hijinx ensue. Just thinking about it depresses me.
RAILS AND TIES: Kevin Bacon stars as Kevin Bacon in this sequel to "Footloose" where Kevin Bacon runs over this kid's mom with a train and somehow the kid is able to find him what with the six degrees of separation and all and so he yells at Kevin Bacon and then they cry and become fast friends and go on to run over other people with trains. I made up the last part about running over other people with trains. Running people over with trains is not good, it squishes them to pieces, which is not good for living peoples. It's like Mr. Miyagi once said, "You do Karate guess-so. Squish just like grape."
OTHER RECENT RELEASES:
Bell, Book and Candle
Bleacher Bums
The Great Outdoors
Ian Whitcomb on TV (1965-1986)
Jezebel
Stanley's Gig
Wild in the Streets + Gas-s-s-s
www.vidtheque.com
Well, my answer to that is simple, this past Friday was the manditory staff softball game. I was really disappointed because everybody on my team kept dropping the ball so we lost. At one point someone threw a cooler filled with Izze across the field and yelled, "Quit dropping the ball!"
Then the next day I went bowling with my girlfriend 'cause we are in a bowling league. At one point, when it was my turn to bowl she told me that she was gonna invite me to her wedding and then as she kept talking it dawned on me that she's going to marry her other boyfriend. I was so in shock that I dropped my ball ... in the gutter. She said, "Your ball is in the gutter." Then I took her ball, went to the front entrance, and threw it out the door and into the parking lot and yelled, "At least I have a ball!"
Then I sent my dad a homemade card that said, "Hey, Happy Father's Day, even though you dropped the ball."
NEW RELEASES 06/14
BE KIND REWIND: There is a subgenre of movies where a building is going to get demolished and the protagonists have to save it from evil developers and in most cases they're successful, for example, "Batteries Not Included," and "Harley Davidson & the Man," and now "Be Kind Rewind." Basically, it's a fairy tale. It's hard for me to pass judgment on a benevolent, well-meaning French man like Michel Gondry, so I won't poo-pooh on this one. I will just say, it pays to be benevolent and well-meaning, 'cause then you can make movies like this and people won't hate you. At least people who like benevolence, anyway.
CARAMEL: If you liked "Beauty Shop" starring Queen Latifah, this Lebanese film about 5 women in a Beirut beauty salon will wake up your heart ... if that's possible.
CHAOS THEORY: Every now and then you might come across an actor like say, Ryan Reynolds and think to yourself, "Self, this guy has the comedic timing of Chevy Chase in the early 80s," and so you start watching everything they do and then after a couple years, rather than doing run-of-the-mill big budget movies they start doing low budget independent films that make you wish the script had been through a few more rewrites. But if you can relate to a guy who's life is in shambles (I can!!!) you might enjoy this.
CLASSE TOUS RISQUES: When I was in high school I tous a risques every time I ditched classe. That's how I got to where I am today. No seriously. Claude Sautet. French 60s. Mafia. Criterion. No seriously. Crime doesn't pay. Stay in school. Seriously.
FOOL'S GOLD: Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Lopez star in this delightful romantic comedy about a wedding planner who falls in love with the groom in the biggest wedding of her career ... oh, wait. Sorry. Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson star in this delightful romantic comedy about an advertising executive who bets he can make a woman fall in love with him in 10 days and he meets a woman researching an article called, "How to lose a guy..." oh, wait. Sorry. Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker star in this delightful romantic comedy about a thirtysomething slacker who is set up with his dream girl by his parents who want him to move out ... oh, wait. I give up. I accidentally watched a movie the other day that had Matthew McConaughey in it and as I was watching him I started to think that he looked like the Mona Lisa and then thinking that started to ruin the movie for me. Not that the movie wasn't ruined anyway. But if you want to watch a Matthew McConaughey that doesn't put me in a rage watch "13 Conversations About One Thing," but only after you've watched "Fool's Gold" 'cause there are people in bathing suits on the cover.
MY MOM'S NEW BOYFRIEND: I read the synopsis on the back of this movie and it sounds like something I would write. That's code for: crap. I think Colin Hanks stars as a 12-year-old FBI Agent, kind of like Agent Cody Banks and his mom starts dating Antonio Bandaris who is a guy who young Cody Banks is surveilling and then hijinx ensue. Just thinking about it depresses me.
RAILS AND TIES: Kevin Bacon stars as Kevin Bacon in this sequel to "Footloose" where Kevin Bacon runs over this kid's mom with a train and somehow the kid is able to find him what with the six degrees of separation and all and so he yells at Kevin Bacon and then they cry and become fast friends and go on to run over other people with trains. I made up the last part about running over other people with trains. Running people over with trains is not good, it squishes them to pieces, which is not good for living peoples. It's like Mr. Miyagi once said, "You do Karate guess-so. Squish just like grape."
OTHER RECENT RELEASES:
Bell, Book and Candle
Bleacher Bums
The Great Outdoors
Ian Whitcomb on TV (1965-1986)
Jezebel
Stanley's Gig
Wild in the Streets + Gas-s-s-s
www.vidtheque.com
Friday, June 13, 2008
Readymade Film Fest 06/21/08
P.H.A.T.
Network & A Means Of Production! invite you to
[Picture is missing]
JOIN US FOR AN EVENING WATCHING SOME OF GREAT SHORTS MADE BY LOCAL L.A.
INDEPENDENT FILMMAKERS!!
FILMS INCLUDE
DOCS, LIVE ACTION, ANIMATION, & EXPERIMENTAL.
Some of the films have done the festival circuit this past year including the South by Southwest Film Festival and the Berlin Film Festival.
Now, the films come to Los Angeles to showcase to the filmmakers' home crowd!!
For a list of this year's films, screening schedule and
more info on our infamous after party visit our web site at:
http://www. readymadefilmfest. com
Tickets to the festival will be available at the venue on the day of the event. Early arrival strongly suggested.
For directions to the venue click here.
[Ditto]
RMFF TICKET HOLDERS WILL HAVE
FULL ACCESS TO THE AFTER PARTY!
Network & A Means Of Production! invite you to
[Picture is missing]
JOIN US FOR AN EVENING WATCHING SOME OF GREAT SHORTS MADE BY LOCAL L.A.
INDEPENDENT FILMMAKERS!!
FILMS INCLUDE
DOCS, LIVE ACTION, ANIMATION, & EXPERIMENTAL.
Some of the films have done the festival circuit this past year including the South by Southwest Film Festival and the Berlin Film Festival.
Now, the films come to Los Angeles to showcase to the filmmakers' home crowd!!
For a list of this year's films, screening schedule and
more info on our infamous after party visit our web site at:
http://www. readymadefilmfest. com
Tickets to the festival will be available at the venue on the day of the event. Early arrival strongly suggested.
For directions to the venue click here.
[Ditto]
RMFF TICKET HOLDERS WILL HAVE
FULL ACCESS TO THE AFTER PARTY!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
You shouldn’t forget the importance of entertainment.
So, apparently Rick left for New York at the beginning of the month, but I think he is going there by foot because we just got a postcard from him from Laughlin, Nevada, which is founded on fun! A lot of people think Rick is weird. I didn't always agree with them, but now I do, 'cause this postcard from him reads as follows:
"Dear Asparagus,
Why do you make my pee smell funny?
Your pal, Rick
P.S. Could someone please pick me up? Some savage stole my cothes off a clothesline and now I'm wandering around Laughlin in my leotards.
P.P.S. I resent the disparaging remarks you made about '300' last week."
Boy, what is the world coming to when you can't hang your clothes out to dry without some idiot stealing them?
NEW RELEASES 6/10
THE BUCKET LIST: Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman are back and older than ever in this comedy about takin' it to the limit one more time.
FUNNY GAMES: This is Michael Haneke's American remake of his own Austrian film of the same name. I saw the original and thought it was interesting and inventive, but since then my world view has changed to the extent that when I hear about things like Rick's clothes getting stolen off a clothesline, I wonder to myself, what would the world be like if people didn't do negative things, like say for example, hitting people in the head with golf clubs? But I suppose there is something to be said for making a morally reprehensible film not once, but twice. Come and get it, kids!
THE GRAND: Zak Penn is back and balder than ever as he helms this comedy on the fine art of losing. I don't really have anything trite to say about this one on account of there's no bloody golf club on the cover. Oh, wait, yeah I do, it's got Woody from "Cheers" in it. When I accidentally saw "Semi-Pro" it was showing in the same theater where they were having the premiere for this, so Woody from "Cheers" was there and Woody from "Cheers" was in "Semi-Pro" so basically I've got Woody-from-"Cheers"-lash.
HEAVY METAL IN BAGHDAD: When I'm not reading over peoples' shoulders, I like to listen to heavy metal. In Baghdad, they only have one heavy metal band and this is a documentary about their survivals and musical musings.
All I'm saying is that if the guys from "Funny Games" focused that same time and energy on something positive like planting river birch trees or curing diseases, think of how happy that poor family would be on vacation.
JOHN ADAMS: Or if they had girlfriends they could write them letters and send them in the mail like John Adams did when he corresponded with his wife back in the olden days when people actually wrote letters, and think of how delighted their girlfriends would've been to have an actual piece of paper in the known physical universe, rather than just useless words dissipating into cyberspace...
JUMPER: Sometimes I like to forget about people getting their hate on by watching some eye candy!!! Doug Limon is back and his eyes are wider than ever as he helms the biggest slight on the spacetime continuum since "Back to the Future III." Starring baby Darth Vader and Joan of Arcadia and Billy Elliott and Samuel L. Jackson.
THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL: The girl from "The Professional" and the girl from "Lost in Translation" pout it out in this costume drama with the Hulk that came between Bill Bixby and Edward Norton. My homie G-dawg went and saw this in the theater and she was wearing a gas mask for a week and I was like, "Hey, G-dawg, what's with the gas mask?" and she was like, "Man, they need to rename that movie 'Stinkaroo Stinkzai.'"
OTHER GREAT PICTURE SHOWS NOW ON PLASTIC DISCS:
The Animation Show, Vol. 3
The Best of Radiohead
The Big Trail
Le Choc
The Clockmaker
Iggy and the Stooges - Live in Detroit
Lost in Beijing
Manon 70
Murder! + Skin Game
Otis
Rich & Strange
La Roue
Walk All Over Me
The Who & Friends: Concerts For Teenage Cancer Trust
www.vidtheque.com
The only tool you need is kindness.
"Dear Asparagus,
Why do you make my pee smell funny?
Your pal, Rick
P.S. Could someone please pick me up? Some savage stole my cothes off a clothesline and now I'm wandering around Laughlin in my leotards.
P.P.S. I resent the disparaging remarks you made about '300' last week."
Boy, what is the world coming to when you can't hang your clothes out to dry without some idiot stealing them?
NEW RELEASES 6/10
THE BUCKET LIST: Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman are back and older than ever in this comedy about takin' it to the limit one more time.
FUNNY GAMES: This is Michael Haneke's American remake of his own Austrian film of the same name. I saw the original and thought it was interesting and inventive, but since then my world view has changed to the extent that when I hear about things like Rick's clothes getting stolen off a clothesline, I wonder to myself, what would the world be like if people didn't do negative things, like say for example, hitting people in the head with golf clubs? But I suppose there is something to be said for making a morally reprehensible film not once, but twice. Come and get it, kids!
THE GRAND: Zak Penn is back and balder than ever as he helms this comedy on the fine art of losing. I don't really have anything trite to say about this one on account of there's no bloody golf club on the cover. Oh, wait, yeah I do, it's got Woody from "Cheers" in it. When I accidentally saw "Semi-Pro" it was showing in the same theater where they were having the premiere for this, so Woody from "Cheers" was there and Woody from "Cheers" was in "Semi-Pro" so basically I've got Woody-from-"Cheers"-lash.
HEAVY METAL IN BAGHDAD: When I'm not reading over peoples' shoulders, I like to listen to heavy metal. In Baghdad, they only have one heavy metal band and this is a documentary about their survivals and musical musings.
All I'm saying is that if the guys from "Funny Games" focused that same time and energy on something positive like planting river birch trees or curing diseases, think of how happy that poor family would be on vacation.
JOHN ADAMS: Or if they had girlfriends they could write them letters and send them in the mail like John Adams did when he corresponded with his wife back in the olden days when people actually wrote letters, and think of how delighted their girlfriends would've been to have an actual piece of paper in the known physical universe, rather than just useless words dissipating into cyberspace...
JUMPER: Sometimes I like to forget about people getting their hate on by watching some eye candy!!! Doug Limon is back and his eyes are wider than ever as he helms the biggest slight on the spacetime continuum since "Back to the Future III." Starring baby Darth Vader and Joan of Arcadia and Billy Elliott and Samuel L. Jackson.
THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL: The girl from "The Professional" and the girl from "Lost in Translation" pout it out in this costume drama with the Hulk that came between Bill Bixby and Edward Norton. My homie G-dawg went and saw this in the theater and she was wearing a gas mask for a week and I was like, "Hey, G-dawg, what's with the gas mask?" and she was like, "Man, they need to rename that movie 'Stinkaroo Stinkzai.'"
OTHER GREAT PICTURE SHOWS NOW ON PLASTIC DISCS:
The Animation Show, Vol. 3
The Best of Radiohead
The Big Trail
Le Choc
The Clockmaker
Iggy and the Stooges - Live in Detroit
Lost in Beijing
Manon 70
Murder! + Skin Game
Otis
Rich & Strange
La Roue
Walk All Over Me
The Who & Friends: Concerts For Teenage Cancer Trust
www.vidtheque.com
The only tool you need is kindness.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
That's it, no more Mr. Nice Duck.
Are you like me? When I'm not being surreptitiously recorded I like to watch "Back to the Future." This weekend while I was between "Back to the Future" 2 and 3, the news came over the wire that the Universal Studios backlot was ablaze. An onion ring rolled off my lower lip as I dropped the remote and cried, "Oh, hell no!"
Then later on during a press conference a fire fighting man was listing stuff that had burned and among the things he mentioned was the clock tower and then I was definitely like, "Oh, hell no!" Then the more I thought of it, I thought, if Michael J. Fox has Parkinson's and the ride has been replaced by a Simpsons ride, who really gives a crap about the foam building from "Howard the Duck?" Then later on in a helicopter shot, I thought I saw the clock tower from behind and I thought maybe the fire fighting man was wrong, so I paused my Save the Clock Tower campaign.
Then ever since then about a half a dozen people have listed off things they heard burned and they always tell me it was King Kong and New York Street and a video vault filled with a lotta lotta video treasures and the clock tower. So now I'm thinking maybe it did burn. Either way, R.I.P. clock tower that was in "Back to the Future(s)" and "Gremlins" and "Howard the Duck" and some other movies. R.I.P. video vault with priceless artifacts of the past. R.I.P. New York Street, "Dick Tracy" was okay. And "King Kong" exhibit, you were a crazy monkey terrorizing tourists and I think your movies were lame. I'm sorry you had to go out like that and I'm sure your first movie was pretty amazing to old timers back in the day, but your more recent movie, I don't know... there were dinosaurs on that island, too, and nobody even paid any note of the dinosaurs. I think that's much more fascinating than a giant monkey. That's newsworthy; dinosaurs. Giant monkeys; I don't know. And then Jack Black saying, "'tis beauty that killed the beast," is like the straw that broke the camel's back. I don't need that. I mean, taking the beast out of the jungle and into Manhattan is what killed the beast. But I digress.
Oooh ... shiny stuff I forgot 5/27:
CASSANDRA'S DREAM: Woody Allen is at it again with a new movie with big stars with fluffy hair makin' with the gunplay. Sometime after "Husbands and Wives" came out I fell off the Woody Allen bandwagon, not that I was really on it to begin with, but after that I was definitely not on it. But much to my surprise, my informants who work at the 'theque tell me that old Allen's got a cult following with the youngsters. I did not know that, nor do I understand why, but never the less, here's some new Allen action with the likes of Ewen McGregor and Colin Farrell. Come and get it, kids!
GRACE IS GONE: Grace's favorite new movie is here! This is a Jack Cusack vehicle and this time he's serious as a wrinkled old version of himself who lies to his kids about what's up with mom in Iraq. It's very serious. Come and get it, kids!
Oooh ... shiny stuff 6/03:
BIG RIG: This new eye-opening documentary is all about the giant big rigs that roam the highways and bi-ways. Willie Nelson has a chain of gas stations that serve bio-diesel. This doc has nothing to do with that. I'm jus' sayin'. Willie Nelson was in "Thief". "Thief" is good.
BOARDING GATE: This new thriller has Asia Argento in her underwear on the cover. The tag line says, "She's losing control again," which I think is an indirect Joy Division reference. Michael Madsen is also in this so it must be good.
CONTROL: I think the title of this film is a direct Joy Division reference. Ian Curtis proved a theory I had about fame, which is that when you commit suicide, more people will watch "Stroszek" than would've watched it otherwise.
THE EYE: Back when Rick had his recommended section of Jessica Alba movies, I got Alba-lash, partly due to the fact that she offended my best and only friend Nick back when they were in high school together and his giant backpack knocked her on her a**, and she got up and was like, "DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I WAS IN FLIPPER!!!" That's why I haven't seen this PG-13 horror remake. But if Alba never snapped at your buddy, I encourage you to check it out.
FLAWLESS: Careful. I know what you're thinking. "Robert DeNiro and Philip Seymour Hoffman, I love that movie!" Wrong! This is a remake of that film, this time with Michael Caine and Demi Moore with Demi Moore in the Philip Seymour Hoffman role. And no there's no discount if you saw the first one.
MEET THE SPARTANS: I only looked at the cover of this one, it looks like the old satires of yesteryear like "Scary Movie" and "Not Another Teen Movie," with folks dressed up like those guys in "300." Boy am I glad that movie ended.
THE ONION MOVIE: This movie is like the old satires of yesterday's news. I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. I have it on good authority from a hero in the wildlife community that this film is fantastic.
RESCUE ME - SEASON 4: Some people don't like Denis Leary 'cause he smokes and curses a lot, but I like him because he wrote a song about me in the early 90's. I don't watch a lot of episodic television, but one time I was visiting my brother in prison and he highly recommended this series and I've watched every season. Among other things that Leary deals with in this season is the fact that his daughter is 18 and she can date whoever she wants because she's legal and it's legal to date whoever you want when you're 18. Like for example, if she was in love with an older guy, it would be legal for her to date him.
SEMI-PRO: So, the thing is this, um, yeah, every now and then my girlfriend and her boyfriend drag me to the movies. They dragged me to this one. The only reason I go really is 'cause the boyfriend pays. This Will Ferrell gem where he co-stars with Andre 3000 and Woody from "Cheers" made me long for the old days when I was watching "Anchorman."
WEEDS - SEASON 3: This "Weeds" season 3 is no "Rescue Me" Season 4. Just kidding, I don't watch this or "Saving Grace" 'cause they glorify drug use. But if I had to watch something that glorifies drug use, I'd watch this 'cause Mary-Louise Parker is in it and her nose moves when she talks, which would be fun to watch whilst stoned.
Oooh ... other shiny stuff:
ABSENCE OF MALICE
BOBBY DEERFIELD
SHORT CIRCUIT
Oooh ... shiny recommendations:
Are you like me? When I'm not being surreptitiously recorded, I like to watch "Three Days of the Condor." This weekend while I was between "Three Days of the Condor" and "They Shoot Horses Don't They?" the news came over the wire that Sydney Pollack was deceased on account of the old cancer. A piece of fried zucchini rolled off my lower lip as I dropped the remote and cried, "Oh, hell no!", so as a result to thank Mr. Pollack for his career of fine cinema and as a symbolic F you to cancer, we've compiled a recommended section of Sydney Pollack movies by moving the Sydney Pollack section a whole 15 feet and across the aisle. F you cancer.
Mario's pix Blue is Beautiful: So, um, yeah, the thing is this, you see, Mario wasn't here, but we needed to secure the dude some shelfspace so Chuck and I put a bunch of movies in his section that had "Blue" in the title. Since he's been back, he hasn't touched them. So it's difficult at this time to tell whether or not his original vision has been corrupted.
France Gall's pix Une femme... ce n'est pas complique, c'est subtil: Again, I flunked out of French class because I kept pronouncing the "P" wrong whenever we sang, "Aux Champs Elysee," so I can only speculate as to what her section is, based upon the fine cinema on the shelf, because I'm embarrassed to ask her in person. You should speculate on your own by spinning by the 'theque, but check the negativity at the door.
Rick's pix I love New York in June: You see, you've got these cats over here and these cats over there and then there was Rick who was one strange cat. One day this past week, Rick shaved his head and said something about being the first monkey shot into space and then he put up this section and left and we haven't seen him since. We're hoping it's permanent, but we're a little worried he'll be back in July.
So, to recap this week's blog, F you cancer!
www.vidtheque.com
Then later on during a press conference a fire fighting man was listing stuff that had burned and among the things he mentioned was the clock tower and then I was definitely like, "Oh, hell no!" Then the more I thought of it, I thought, if Michael J. Fox has Parkinson's and the ride has been replaced by a Simpsons ride, who really gives a crap about the foam building from "Howard the Duck?" Then later on in a helicopter shot, I thought I saw the clock tower from behind and I thought maybe the fire fighting man was wrong, so I paused my Save the Clock Tower campaign.
Then ever since then about a half a dozen people have listed off things they heard burned and they always tell me it was King Kong and New York Street and a video vault filled with a lotta lotta video treasures and the clock tower. So now I'm thinking maybe it did burn. Either way, R.I.P. clock tower that was in "Back to the Future(s)" and "Gremlins" and "Howard the Duck" and some other movies. R.I.P. video vault with priceless artifacts of the past. R.I.P. New York Street, "Dick Tracy" was okay. And "King Kong" exhibit, you were a crazy monkey terrorizing tourists and I think your movies were lame. I'm sorry you had to go out like that and I'm sure your first movie was pretty amazing to old timers back in the day, but your more recent movie, I don't know... there were dinosaurs on that island, too, and nobody even paid any note of the dinosaurs. I think that's much more fascinating than a giant monkey. That's newsworthy; dinosaurs. Giant monkeys; I don't know. And then Jack Black saying, "'tis beauty that killed the beast," is like the straw that broke the camel's back. I don't need that. I mean, taking the beast out of the jungle and into Manhattan is what killed the beast. But I digress.
Oooh ... shiny stuff I forgot 5/27:
CASSANDRA'S DREAM: Woody Allen is at it again with a new movie with big stars with fluffy hair makin' with the gunplay. Sometime after "Husbands and Wives" came out I fell off the Woody Allen bandwagon, not that I was really on it to begin with, but after that I was definitely not on it. But much to my surprise, my informants who work at the 'theque tell me that old Allen's got a cult following with the youngsters. I did not know that, nor do I understand why, but never the less, here's some new Allen action with the likes of Ewen McGregor and Colin Farrell. Come and get it, kids!
GRACE IS GONE: Grace's favorite new movie is here! This is a Jack Cusack vehicle and this time he's serious as a wrinkled old version of himself who lies to his kids about what's up with mom in Iraq. It's very serious. Come and get it, kids!
Oooh ... shiny stuff 6/03:
BIG RIG: This new eye-opening documentary is all about the giant big rigs that roam the highways and bi-ways. Willie Nelson has a chain of gas stations that serve bio-diesel. This doc has nothing to do with that. I'm jus' sayin'. Willie Nelson was in "Thief". "Thief" is good.
BOARDING GATE: This new thriller has Asia Argento in her underwear on the cover. The tag line says, "She's losing control again," which I think is an indirect Joy Division reference. Michael Madsen is also in this so it must be good.
CONTROL: I think the title of this film is a direct Joy Division reference. Ian Curtis proved a theory I had about fame, which is that when you commit suicide, more people will watch "Stroszek" than would've watched it otherwise.
THE EYE: Back when Rick had his recommended section of Jessica Alba movies, I got Alba-lash, partly due to the fact that she offended my best and only friend Nick back when they were in high school together and his giant backpack knocked her on her a**, and she got up and was like, "DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I WAS IN FLIPPER!!!" That's why I haven't seen this PG-13 horror remake. But if Alba never snapped at your buddy, I encourage you to check it out.
FLAWLESS: Careful. I know what you're thinking. "Robert DeNiro and Philip Seymour Hoffman, I love that movie!" Wrong! This is a remake of that film, this time with Michael Caine and Demi Moore with Demi Moore in the Philip Seymour Hoffman role. And no there's no discount if you saw the first one.
MEET THE SPARTANS: I only looked at the cover of this one, it looks like the old satires of yesteryear like "Scary Movie" and "Not Another Teen Movie," with folks dressed up like those guys in "300." Boy am I glad that movie ended.
THE ONION MOVIE: This movie is like the old satires of yesterday's news. I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. I have it on good authority from a hero in the wildlife community that this film is fantastic.
RESCUE ME - SEASON 4: Some people don't like Denis Leary 'cause he smokes and curses a lot, but I like him because he wrote a song about me in the early 90's. I don't watch a lot of episodic television, but one time I was visiting my brother in prison and he highly recommended this series and I've watched every season. Among other things that Leary deals with in this season is the fact that his daughter is 18 and she can date whoever she wants because she's legal and it's legal to date whoever you want when you're 18. Like for example, if she was in love with an older guy, it would be legal for her to date him.
SEMI-PRO: So, the thing is this, um, yeah, every now and then my girlfriend and her boyfriend drag me to the movies. They dragged me to this one. The only reason I go really is 'cause the boyfriend pays. This Will Ferrell gem where he co-stars with Andre 3000 and Woody from "Cheers" made me long for the old days when I was watching "Anchorman."
WEEDS - SEASON 3: This "Weeds" season 3 is no "Rescue Me" Season 4. Just kidding, I don't watch this or "Saving Grace" 'cause they glorify drug use. But if I had to watch something that glorifies drug use, I'd watch this 'cause Mary-Louise Parker is in it and her nose moves when she talks, which would be fun to watch whilst stoned.
Oooh ... other shiny stuff:
ABSENCE OF MALICE
BOBBY DEERFIELD
SHORT CIRCUIT
Oooh ... shiny recommendations:
Are you like me? When I'm not being surreptitiously recorded, I like to watch "Three Days of the Condor." This weekend while I was between "Three Days of the Condor" and "They Shoot Horses Don't They?" the news came over the wire that Sydney Pollack was deceased on account of the old cancer. A piece of fried zucchini rolled off my lower lip as I dropped the remote and cried, "Oh, hell no!", so as a result to thank Mr. Pollack for his career of fine cinema and as a symbolic F you to cancer, we've compiled a recommended section of Sydney Pollack movies by moving the Sydney Pollack section a whole 15 feet and across the aisle. F you cancer.
Mario's pix Blue is Beautiful: So, um, yeah, the thing is this, you see, Mario wasn't here, but we needed to secure the dude some shelfspace so Chuck and I put a bunch of movies in his section that had "Blue" in the title. Since he's been back, he hasn't touched them. So it's difficult at this time to tell whether or not his original vision has been corrupted.
France Gall's pix Une femme... ce n'est pas complique, c'est subtil: Again, I flunked out of French class because I kept pronouncing the "P" wrong whenever we sang, "Aux Champs Elysee," so I can only speculate as to what her section is, based upon the fine cinema on the shelf, because I'm embarrassed to ask her in person. You should speculate on your own by spinning by the 'theque, but check the negativity at the door.
Rick's pix I love New York in June: You see, you've got these cats over here and these cats over there and then there was Rick who was one strange cat. One day this past week, Rick shaved his head and said something about being the first monkey shot into space and then he put up this section and left and we haven't seen him since. We're hoping it's permanent, but we're a little worried he'll be back in July.
So, to recap this week's blog, F you cancer!
www.vidtheque.com
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