So, apparently Rick left for New York at the beginning of the month, but I think he is going there by foot because we just got a postcard from him from Laughlin, Nevada, which is founded on fun! A lot of people think Rick is weird. I didn't always agree with them, but now I do, 'cause this postcard from him reads as follows:
"Dear Asparagus,
Why do you make my pee smell funny?
Your pal, Rick
P.S. Could someone please pick me up? Some savage stole my cothes off a clothesline and now I'm wandering around Laughlin in my leotards.
P.P.S. I resent the disparaging remarks you made about '300' last week."
Boy, what is the world coming to when you can't hang your clothes out to dry without some idiot stealing them?
NEW RELEASES 6/10
THE BUCKET LIST: Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman are back and older than ever in this comedy about takin' it to the limit one more time.
FUNNY GAMES: This is Michael Haneke's American remake of his own Austrian film of the same name. I saw the original and thought it was interesting and inventive, but since then my world view has changed to the extent that when I hear about things like Rick's clothes getting stolen off a clothesline, I wonder to myself, what would the world be like if people didn't do negative things, like say for example, hitting people in the head with golf clubs? But I suppose there is something to be said for making a morally reprehensible film not once, but twice. Come and get it, kids!
THE GRAND: Zak Penn is back and balder than ever as he helms this comedy on the fine art of losing. I don't really have anything trite to say about this one on account of there's no bloody golf club on the cover. Oh, wait, yeah I do, it's got Woody from "Cheers" in it. When I accidentally saw "Semi-Pro" it was showing in the same theater where they were having the premiere for this, so Woody from "Cheers" was there and Woody from "Cheers" was in "Semi-Pro" so basically I've got Woody-from-"Cheers"-lash.
HEAVY METAL IN BAGHDAD: When I'm not reading over peoples' shoulders, I like to listen to heavy metal. In Baghdad, they only have one heavy metal band and this is a documentary about their survivals and musical musings.
All I'm saying is that if the guys from "Funny Games" focused that same time and energy on something positive like planting river birch trees or curing diseases, think of how happy that poor family would be on vacation.
JOHN ADAMS: Or if they had girlfriends they could write them letters and send them in the mail like John Adams did when he corresponded with his wife back in the olden days when people actually wrote letters, and think of how delighted their girlfriends would've been to have an actual piece of paper in the known physical universe, rather than just useless words dissipating into cyberspace...
JUMPER: Sometimes I like to forget about people getting their hate on by watching some eye candy!!! Doug Limon is back and his eyes are wider than ever as he helms the biggest slight on the spacetime continuum since "Back to the Future III." Starring baby Darth Vader and Joan of Arcadia and Billy Elliott and Samuel L. Jackson.
THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL: The girl from "The Professional" and the girl from "Lost in Translation" pout it out in this costume drama with the Hulk that came between Bill Bixby and Edward Norton. My homie G-dawg went and saw this in the theater and she was wearing a gas mask for a week and I was like, "Hey, G-dawg, what's with the gas mask?" and she was like, "Man, they need to rename that movie 'Stinkaroo Stinkzai.'"
OTHER GREAT PICTURE SHOWS NOW ON PLASTIC DISCS:
The Animation Show, Vol. 3
The Best of Radiohead
The Big Trail
Le Choc
The Clockmaker
Iggy and the Stooges - Live in Detroit
Lost in Beijing
Manon 70
Murder! + Skin Game
Otis
Rich & Strange
La Roue
Walk All Over Me
The Who & Friends: Concerts For Teenage Cancer Trust
www.vidtheque.com
The only tool you need is kindness.
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