Friday, November 21, 2008

What is this place? Hogwarts?

A lotta, lotta people ask me, they ask, "Hey, Skibididoo, you seem to have your **** together, what's your secret?"

I says to them, I says, "Oh, that's easy, my secret is starting off each day right."

Then they ask me, they ask, "How do you start the day off right? A good breakfast?"

I says to them, I says, "No. Actually the good breakfast is important, but that's second on a long list of things you have to do to start the day off right."

Then they asks me, they asks, "What's number one?"

I says to them, I says, "Oh, that's when you pee."

They then look at me real confused and ask, "No! No! What's the number one thing on the long list of things you have to do to start the day off right?"

I says to them, I says, "Oh, that! The best and first way to start your day off right is to do the angry dance in your kitchen while making breakfast."

Then they look at me even more real confused and ask, "The angry dance?"

Then I says to them, I says, "Yeah, you know, the angry dance ... from 'Footloose.'"

NEW RELEASES 11/18:

THE CLIQUE: I wanted to see this but didn't have a chance. It's a film based on the popular teen book series of the same name. It's brought to you by Tyra Banks. Whenever I hear of Tyra Banks, I think of Tyria Moore who was Aileen Wuornos' girlfriend back when she killed seven men in 1989 and 1990.

ENCOUNTERS AT THE END OF THE WORLD: I wanted to see this but didn't have a chance. Werner Herzog took some advice I gave him shortly after I saw "Incident at Loch Ness" and he took a long walk off a short pier. Thanks to this advice, we now have this glorious documentary about the Earth's, you know, hind quarters, which makes you wish you were watching "Planet Earth."

FANFAN LA TULIPE: I wanted to see this but didn't have a chance. It's a French romantic comedy from the 1952. Hardcore fans refer to it as a swashbuckler film. Those people also do the angry dance if they don't get their way so you should probably only refer to it as a swashbuckler film.

GARDEN PARTY: I wanted to see this but didn't have a chance. This is a movie that has a cover that makes you want to watch it 'cause there's a pool full of beautiful people on the cover, but then you read the title and it makes you want to take a slow ride to grandmother's house. But if you like beautiful people and lame titles, back up the truck and put this in it.

GONZO: THE LIFE AND WORK OF DR. HUNTER S. THOMPSON: I wanted to see this but didn't have a chance. This is a documentary about Hunter S. Thompson, and I know when I was done watching the previous five that came out, I was thinking, "That was good, but I think we really need more." So, please help bankroll the lifestyles of people capitalizing on the good doctor's name by enjoying this fine doc ... hey, wait a minute, a doc about a doc. When you come into the 'Theque, just demand, "The doc about the doc," the clerks will love you.

THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS 2: I wanted to see this but didn't have a chance. This is the long awaited sequel to the other traveling pants movie, based on the teen book series of the same name which makes "The Clique" look like someone with artery-hardening rage trying to do the angry dance. Anywhoo, I love these traveling pants movies even though I've never seen them. I just hope that there are a lot of laundromat scenes, you know, where they are washing the pants.

TROPIC THUNDER: I wanted to see this but didn't have a chance. This is the new film from Robert Downey, Jr. starring Ben Stiller where Jack Black plays Owen Wilson. Tom Cruise plays a character which he patterned after a real life scumbag. Go scumbags! No really. Keep going.

UP THE YANGTZE: I wanted to see this but didn't have a chance. This is one of those titles that has you saying to yourself, "Man, what's 'Yangtze' a euphemism for?" but then as you watch it you realize it is actually referring to the river and is about areas affected by a damn dam, and the transition from a culture of farming to a culture of consumer capitalism, in other words ... becoming like us.

WALL-E: I didn't want to see this but had to anyway. If you walk away from this film having learned two things, those two things should be that you're fat and you're destroying the planet. On a personal note, I didn't need to watch a movie to find that out about myself, I already know it! But if you are in denial, or you really like whiney robots, or you like Jeff Garlin, you should watch it. Watch it now!

THE WHO AT KILBURN: 1977: I think that some people don't like the Who. It's a statistical fact that some people probably don't. Well, if you ask me those people probably haven't seen this two-concert gem from back when they used to be good. Real good.


ALSO AVAILABLE:

The Chant of Jimmie Blacksmith
Christmas on Mars
Cine Manifest
Critical Condition
Doc Martin - Series 1
Eight Miles High
Encounters at the End of the World (Blu-ray)
George Lopez - America's Mexican
Gunnin' for That 1 Spot
Here Is Always Somewhere Else
The Inner Scar
Love Songs
The Machine Girl
Operation Valkyrie: The Stauffenberg Plot to Kill Hitler
Pieces
Planet B-Boy
Tropic Thunder (Blu-ray)
Wall-E (Blu-ray)
Wholphin No.7


RECOMMENDED SECTIONS:

The staff at Videotheque put up the recommended section for Thanksgiving, plus there is a new staff pix.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!: In this section you will find a veritable who's who of film and television in which Thanksgiving is celebrated, including "Down and Out in Beverly Hills," "The Ice Storm," "Pieces of April," and "Dutch," everything with the exception of "Ugly Betty" 'cause it's inconceivable that "Ugly Betty" could possibly have a Thanksgiving episode.

Biz Mark A's pix HAPPY TANKSGIVING!: Biz Mark A is pro-war and changes his section more often than I change my shirts. In this section you'll find a veritable who's who of films featuring tanks, for example, "Buffalo Soldiers," "Help!", and Sam Peckinpah's "Cross of Iron" which makes "Newsies" look like "Newsies."

Come into the store and see what other wonderment exists in the other recommended sections.


...and yes, it is available.

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