A lotta, lotta people ask me, they ask, "Hey, Baton Rouge, I couldn't help but notice the delinquency of this week's blog posting. What did you do for Thanksgiving?"
You see, um yeah, the thing is this, this year it was my turn to cook the turkey. I personally feel that stuffing the turkey full of bread stuffs is not good 'cause bread is high in carbs, so this year I decided to do something different.
I filled the inside of the turkey with an entire jar of Goober brand peanut butter and jelly. You know, the jars where it's filled with both peanut butter and jelly. You know, so if you wanted to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich you don't have to go rooting around in two different jars. They're both in one jar. You know?
So, then during Thanksgiving dinner when everyone was eating the turkey, they're like, "Whuh? What's this?"
I says to them, I says, "It's a peanut butter and jelly turkey!"
And then some absent-minded old guy stole my cell phone from the x-ray machine at the airport and exchanged text messages with my girlfriend and she wound up dumping me for him.
NEW RELEASES 11/25:
BOTTLE ROCKET: Criterion takes the law into their own hands by re-issuing Wes Anderson's first feature in the full splendor that you've come to know and expect and even kill for from Criterion. There's loads of special features, such as deleted scenes so you can see all the awesome stuff that James L. Brooks viciously cut from the film that otherwise would've caused the film to make sense and be less polarizing to test audiences. You can also see behind the scenes interviews that make Luke Wilson seem like a normal person; a documentary about Barry Braverman's dear ol' dad; the short film that started it all and makes you wonder what crack Polly Platt was smoking the day she saw that thing; plus a commentary track by Owen Wilson and Wes Anderson where the importance of "Miami Vice" is reiterated.
CHUNGKING EXPRESS: Criterion takes the law into their own hands by re-issuing Wong Kar Wai's film that used to have Quentin Tarantino's grumpy mug all over it. This film demonstrates that the best way to show somebody that you love them is to stalk them and break into their apartment. And if you're at all like me, you probably often say to yourself, "Hhmmm ... Chris Doyle sure is a good DP, but I wonder what his apartment is like." Now you can find out by watching this fine title, now without Tarantino's grumpy ol' mug and about five less special features than "Bottle Rocket".
THE FOOT FIST WAY: If you're at all like me, you probably consider it a good selling point for a film if someone says it's like "Napoleon Dynamite." Danny McBride stars as the owner of a dojo in a small town, and we all know people in small towns are stupid so comedy ensues, kind of like "Napoleon Dynamite." I don't know when the official release date for this film is, but Danny McBride was in "Pineapple Express" and anybody in a movie that sells out an MIA song to no end is a-okay by me.
HANCOCK: Will Smith, Charlize Theron, Jason Bateman, Peter Berg, Michael Mann, Akiva Goldsman, and Akiva Goldsman's forehead have pulled off what I had previously thought was impossible, which is they made a movie that makes "Howard the Duck" look good. Will smith plays Howard the Duck in this loosely based remake.
ALSO AVAILABLE:
Abraham Lincoln + The Struggle
The Avenging Conscience
Ballykissangel - Season 1
Ballykissangel - Season 2
The Case of the Grinning Cat
The Complete Jean Vigo
Devil's Playground
Down the Tracks: The Music That Influenced Led Zeppelin
D.W. Griffith: Father Of Film
The Godfather Part III (Blu-ray)
Goya
Katt Williams: It's Pimpin' Pimpin'
The Last Bolshevik + Happiness
Juice
Monster in a Box: The Movie
Monte Grande: What is Life?
The Point of Least Resistance + The Right Way
Provocation
Regular or Super - Views on Mies van der Rohe
Remembrance of Things to Come
Sally of the Sawdust
The Sixth Side of the Pentagon + The Embassy
Sounder
Under the Bombs
We Loved Each Other So Much
You see, um yeah, the thing is this, this year it was my turn to cook the turkey. I personally feel that stuffing the turkey full of bread stuffs is not good 'cause bread is high in carbs, so this year I decided to do something different.
I filled the inside of the turkey with an entire jar of Goober brand peanut butter and jelly. You know, the jars where it's filled with both peanut butter and jelly. You know, so if you wanted to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich you don't have to go rooting around in two different jars. They're both in one jar. You know?
So, then during Thanksgiving dinner when everyone was eating the turkey, they're like, "Whuh? What's this?"
I says to them, I says, "It's a peanut butter and jelly turkey!"
And then some absent-minded old guy stole my cell phone from the x-ray machine at the airport and exchanged text messages with my girlfriend and she wound up dumping me for him.
NEW RELEASES 11/25:
BOTTLE ROCKET: Criterion takes the law into their own hands by re-issuing Wes Anderson's first feature in the full splendor that you've come to know and expect and even kill for from Criterion. There's loads of special features, such as deleted scenes so you can see all the awesome stuff that James L. Brooks viciously cut from the film that otherwise would've caused the film to make sense and be less polarizing to test audiences. You can also see behind the scenes interviews that make Luke Wilson seem like a normal person; a documentary about Barry Braverman's dear ol' dad; the short film that started it all and makes you wonder what crack Polly Platt was smoking the day she saw that thing; plus a commentary track by Owen Wilson and Wes Anderson where the importance of "Miami Vice" is reiterated.
CHUNGKING EXPRESS: Criterion takes the law into their own hands by re-issuing Wong Kar Wai's film that used to have Quentin Tarantino's grumpy mug all over it. This film demonstrates that the best way to show somebody that you love them is to stalk them and break into their apartment. And if you're at all like me, you probably often say to yourself, "Hhmmm ... Chris Doyle sure is a good DP, but I wonder what his apartment is like." Now you can find out by watching this fine title, now without Tarantino's grumpy ol' mug and about five less special features than "Bottle Rocket".
THE FOOT FIST WAY: If you're at all like me, you probably consider it a good selling point for a film if someone says it's like "Napoleon Dynamite." Danny McBride stars as the owner of a dojo in a small town, and we all know people in small towns are stupid so comedy ensues, kind of like "Napoleon Dynamite." I don't know when the official release date for this film is, but Danny McBride was in "Pineapple Express" and anybody in a movie that sells out an MIA song to no end is a-okay by me.
HANCOCK: Will Smith, Charlize Theron, Jason Bateman, Peter Berg, Michael Mann, Akiva Goldsman, and Akiva Goldsman's forehead have pulled off what I had previously thought was impossible, which is they made a movie that makes "Howard the Duck" look good. Will smith plays Howard the Duck in this loosely based remake.
ALSO AVAILABLE:
Abraham Lincoln + The Struggle
The Avenging Conscience
Ballykissangel - Season 1
Ballykissangel - Season 2
The Case of the Grinning Cat
The Complete Jean Vigo
Devil's Playground
Down the Tracks: The Music That Influenced Led Zeppelin
D.W. Griffith: Father Of Film
The Godfather Part III (Blu-ray)
Goya
Katt Williams: It's Pimpin' Pimpin'
The Last Bolshevik + Happiness
Juice
Monster in a Box: The Movie
Monte Grande: What is Life?
The Point of Least Resistance + The Right Way
Provocation
Regular or Super - Views on Mies van der Rohe
Remembrance of Things to Come
Sally of the Sawdust
The Sixth Side of the Pentagon + The Embassy
Sounder
Under the Bombs
We Loved Each Other So Much
...they'll never catch me, man, 'cause I'm fuckin' innocent.
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