Monday, April 13, 2009

New Releases for April 14th, 2009 or Pardon me, But There's a DVD In My Soup!

I got a letter in the mail. After the whole anthrax ordeal of 2001, I've been scared to open anonymous letters, but something compelled me to give this one a shot. Let me share it with you fine folks:

Dear Videotheque, How are you doing? I saw you from the street the other day and saw your front. You've aged. Then I began to think about it, and I've aged along with you. I know younger the youthful lad I once was. I remember my biggest concern was how many hours of video game time I can fit in before sleeping or how many girls I can kiss. Now I have three kids, alimony to pay, college tuitions to pay, and I have to pay for my poor mother's clinic bills. A man wiser than myself once said that "heaven is a place where nothing ever happens". I'm starting to think that's not so bad. But enough about me! How are you doing? How are thye kids? Oh wait, you're a buisness! Buisness are not living creatures, thus they can't reproduce. My mistake! So... you guys have "Frost/Nixon" yet? That movie was off the hoo... oh, it comes out next week I see. Nevermind. Let me think of something to talk about. Hmm... hmm... Oh! So did you hear the news!? Phil Spector was convicted of 2nd degree murder. Poor guy apparently has alcohol problems, and quit months before the infamous murder. Sadly, two weeks before the incident, he got in an awful car crash and out of shock turned to the bottle. I'll always remember him for "Be My Baby". That's a good song. You've ever seen "Mean Streets"? They play that song in the start. My girlfriend Stephanie sends her regards. She said she misses you guys very much. I miss you guys too. Since I left South Pasadena, I feel there's a hole in my soul. I've tried filling it with drugs, women, excersize, booze, you name it, but it continues to stay empty. I think that hole is where Videotheque was once was... Well, until next time! I send my love! -Anonymous Customer

NEW RELEASES:

American Swing: I like movies about swing dancing. I especially like "Swing Time", though they don't really swing dance in that. What ever this movie is about, as long as it has some really nice dance numbers! Wait, hold on a sec. My co-worker just imformed me that this particular film is not about dancing but instead about "swingers". Whatever a "swinger" is, all I know is that I really liked that Vince Vaughn movies "Swingers", so by default I should like this!

House of Saddam: Saddam Hussein? More like So-Damn Insane! Hahaha... Okay, that wasn't my joke. I stole it from a mediocre episode of The Simpsons. The important thing is this: you should rent this just to spite me and my poor idea of humor.

The Reader: I wish I could read up a synopsis for this film, but I can't read. Infact, I really don't write this blog. I dictate it to a monkey who types it for me.

The Skins Vol. 2: I don't advocate this show. The idea that teenagers that are still practically babies are getting into the act of making babies themselves. Remember how melodramatic your high school years overseas in England were? You should rent this just to relive all those awesome memories like going to prom with your dream girl only to have her leave with Scott McIntosh, captain of the varsity football team. I'll never forgive him... I mean... That never happened to me. Forget it! Forget it! Let's move onto the next new release...

The Spirit: You know what they haven't made in a while? A comic book to movie adaptation. I'm sure if they were to make one, Hollywood would make some big bucks. Big time bucks. Ultra big time bucks. They should make some World War II films while they're at it, too. I don't think anyones done that yet, no?

MORE AND MORE AND MORE:
Blue Gold
Forgiving Dr. Mengele
Miroir Noir
No Regret
Obscene
Runaway Train
Ruthless People
Stephen Hawking and the Theory of Everything
Tintin Cartoon Collection
Things Are Tough All Over

REC SECTS: Grace's Numbers: Grace is currently finishing up her defree in astrophysics by putting up a section dedicated to numbers. Here you'll find films like "1984", "1900", "8 1/2", "15", and even mathematical constants like "π".

And Women's History Month was last month, so we took down the section. Sorry ladies!

NEWS FROM THE VIDYATHEQUE:
Our very own Grace Gleason will be, out of the pure kindness of her heart, be running an AIDS marathon this coming Fall! If your heart is as kind as her's and you want to help stop AIDS while she stays fit, come inside and pick up a donation application. And if you're a cheapskate, hey, you can use the donation as a tax ride-off. You save folks against AIDS and save money! Talk about win win if you ask me!

Also, I keep meaning to bring this up, but to all of you folks who are unemployed, like myself, come in a drop by Wednesdays, cuz if you rent two movies or more, you save yourself two American dollars. Those two dollars can go toward two bags of Flamin' Hot Cheetoes! Sweet deal, huh?

THAT'S ALL FO' DIS WEEK:

www.vidtheque.com

MORAL OF THE WEEK:
No matter what the other kids may say; you're not ugly. It's what's in the inside that counts!

My heart broke this week when it turned out my photo taking device isn't working properly. I'll have a new photo next week. For now, enjoy this atrocity.

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