hello I was sitting on my bed cutting itty bitty letters out of last September's Artforum, and realized that the American "people" have nothing interesting going on in their lives if they are as captivated by this American Idol/Paula Abdul 'scandal' as I think they are. Please. They should change the name of the show to American Idle. All I'm saying is the show sucks. Now, while I get thrashed and torn into equally itty bitty as my letters, here's a lot of other things to keep you away from channel eleven: completely, utterly terrible:
Alone in the Dark: See the above line.
Assault on Precinct 13: Knowing somewhat John Carpenter's personality, he must be steaming in his pants at the thought of remaking his 1976 version, not that it was an instant classic to being with. It's just that every interview I see with him, there are always to constants: 1) He always seems to be losing more and more hair and 2) He's always pissed off about something. Hmm, maybe it's related.
In Good Company: That used to be Videotheque's motto but we thought it to be sissy-like. So we went with "Videotheque: This ain't yo momma's sto!" And it has seem to work miracles. Topher seems to think so, he is always walking in here thinking about clever comebacks to throw at Ashton Kutcher. And then he goes on and on about how he made out with Scarlett Johansson. Pssh, I say, I got me Paul action last night. The Last Shot: More like Matthew Broderick's last shot at trumping his wife's success. Mean, patronizing, bitter? Yes, I'm all that but at least I can say kindly that I enjoy Alec Baldwin's work. So at least there's some salvation here. Although, you can't blame him for The Cat in the Hat. That was all Ron Howard.
The Life Aquatic: Hipster, geek and cinefiles alike scream with glee when you mention Wes Anderson's name. Bill Murray and a cast that rivals that of It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad World, star in this Costeauian tale of love, redemption and pirates(?) I do agree with critics when they say they should give Bill Murray an oscar, I just don't think it's for this movie. But don't get me wrong, he's great. However, I am sad to report that both Pagoda and Luke Wilson are noticebly absent from this picture. and that makes me sad (cue 60s pop jingle).
Life and Death of Peter Sellers: This HBO production finally makes it's way outside the television box, only to be packaged and sent back into the box. Why oh Why do the Entertainment gods play with us!? Anyways, Geoff Rush stars as the titicular character setting comedic standards. Charles Theron co-stars as then-hottie, Britt Ekland amongst a smorgasbord of actors. Merchant of Venice: If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you rent us, are we not returned on time? Well 2 out of 3 ain't bad. Shakespeare's lesser produced plays made it out with mildy good reviews, despite it's controversy about race relations. Pacino's Shylock is to Shakespeare as to Keanu's Neo is to geeks. Amazing!
Sometimes in April: Fresh of the Rwandian Massacre, this Don Cheadleless HBO production recants yet another story during those tumultuous times. HBO, always willing to sacrifice dollars, pays homage as no other network could. Literally, the goddamn FCC will jump on your backs if you don't oblige. And we have only one woman to blame.
other fine releases: Jan Dara (Thailand) The Pornographer (France) Racing Stripes
************************************* New Staff Recs!
Paul: You're not paranoid if they're really out to get you: You guessed it! Paranoia isn't merely the cause of bad sleep and drugs, sometimes the loons are right. Featuring lots of people running, filled with action and more dramatic climaxes then a Russ Meyer flick! Featuring The Bourne Movies, Ipcress File and 3 days of the Condor.
Andy: La Comedia Del Arte: Pantaloons, Fools and Jesters all abound. Filled with curiouser curiouser clowns and artists, Andy's picks this month collects the best of the best circus circus.
Meg: Female Visionaries: Tired of the inherit sexism throught history? Well this bad-ass section is down your alley. Bring to lightcinema's least appreciated half of the sexes, Meg's section's got enough to make you reconsider film history.
Jessie: No regrets for our youth: Ah kids. Aren't they great? Well, these kids are discovering themselves as well as life. And sometimes it's not easy.
(man!) well that's it. go out and be merry
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