HeeHaw Summer is in full blaze these daze. I'm sweatin more than Condi at the War Commission Hearings. And trust me, that's bucket's full (eww). Despite the sun taking me for a piggy back, Cannes went well on it's way. I usually start these things with some ridiculous non-sequiter, but in light of such a cinematic occasion, I figured I'd be someone professional... Carrots are good, brocoli's better: where is my mind:
The Aviator: That's funny. Howard Hughes said the same thing before chewing on his ten inch finger nails. Leo the Lion stars as the said Hughes in Scorsese's big, gigantic, can't-get-any-bigger-unless-you're-james-cameron-or-ridley-scott EPIC. Featuring a gangbusters cast and a few Academy Awards attached to it's name. I can't say this one tickles my funny bone, but the rest of America and Videotheque certainly can dance atop the Howard Hughes beard. But before you wet your pants at the sound of Hughes' name, let's not forget to thank Mr. Clifford Irving such a delightful story.
Chappelle's Show Season 2: He's gone crazy. South Africa is quite a long way for spiritual healing. Don't you agree? You must admit the timing is questionable, sorta like how Paris Hilton's sex tape came out right before the Simple Life debut. He must be hitting that spiritual magic dust. Maybe his absence will make you appreciate his show more better. Ah hell, just pick up your bong and join the fun.
Fat Actress: I was going to call my reality show that, but Kirstie Alley said she'd eat me if I did. And since I didn't want to become caloric energy, I opted to call it: One Chunk of a Man. It's a dating show *wink wink* Anyways, I'm in no position to make fun of that women, Late Night does it for me, I am simply here to make fun of disabled Chinese dwarfs.
MPD Psycho: Mmm, I'd rather not.
16 Years of Alcohol: Shit! Who knew they made a movie about my dad. So that's what happened to him. Here I thought he was a war hero and died saving a village from Napalm and Jehovas, with only one leg and eye, crawling up & down the mountainous slope of Mt. Kilamanjaro without a translator! I guess my mom lied to me. Pass the scotch.
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That's it. I know I've teased you before but I assure you that our very own zine is on it's way. Don't worry, I'll keep you informed of it's arrival once we get our heads off the bar. Until then, I bid thee a fair day! get off the internet now.
www.vidtheque.com
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