11:16

Hey

It is Monday eve and ready to roar. My head's a little shaky these days, I feel more and more like Hemmingway. As I hope you are recovering well, I press on foward with our collective silliness and reparte. So as you are keeping one eye to the monitor and the other to the Rebel Billionare, I have some interesting items for you. Please pay attention, I'm only going to say this once.

and, off, we....go!

The Chronicles of Riddick: At first glance I swear it was another dirty movie. Vin Diesel's (actually I think his real name is something like Mark Vincent, ha!) voice gets even lower, if you can believe it, in this follow up to 2000's Pitch Black. He is a blind man who conquers adversity and learns to fuse Gospel and Soul together. He brought us such hits as "Georgia on my Mind" and....err, nevermind. I hear he fights some aliens and Dame Judy Dench's hair. Let me know.

Elf: I can't say I've seen this, but looking at Will Ferrell's track record, it's bound to include a gratuitous butt shot. Oh yeah, and be a bit funny too. He plays a non-real elf looking for his real dad. My best guess would be to track down Wilt Chamberlain or Kobe. Just a thought.

I'll Sleep When I'm Dead: Well duh. The latest in almost-cleverly titled films, comes to us from Mike Hodges. If his name rings a bell, it's because he did the little-seen Croupier and the o.g. Get Carter. And you don't want to get to know him. If his films say anything about the man, he'll kick you in the shin and laugh at you. So I say run or get back at him by coming up with a better title like "My Cheese Don't Rot" or "Don't Pee on my Leg and Tell Me It's Raining." I think that last one's taken though.

The Office Special: The special what? Tenth episode anniversary? What is it that's so special? Damn Brits trying to always be so clever, did you not read above? Anyways, people can't stop loving this show. It's a "where are they now" episode over at Wernham Hogg. See 90 minutes of office humor and lunacy. I wish I could watch it, but I don't speak British.

The Saddest Music in the World: Have you heard that song by The Cure? It'd make a good candidate I'm sure. Or maybe that's for the sulkiest music in the world? Whatever. Cult/Indie fave Guy Maddin's latest shot on grainy B&W and some woman with beer legs. It will remind you of David Lynch and Fargo fo sho'. Watch it and you look at Joel Peter Witkin photographs in a whole new way.

Smithereens: Susan Seidelman (Desperately Seeking Susan) brings you this flashback set in the 80's East Village. Set to music by The Feelies and featuring Richard Hell, the story follows a Jersey girl wanting to break into the NYC music scene. For fans of Downtown 81.

PeeWee's Playhouse V1&2: These massive sets include up to 5 seasons of this insanely bizarre show. Featuring Paul Rubens at the height of his fame, watch him act creepy and scare your children. In hindisight, it becomes so clear doesn't it?

Come check out our staff picks. They kick ass. Do it because we deserve it. 4 funny categories! C'mon! Also, don't forget the holidays are coming. We are heavily stocking our DVD racks with the craziest shit you've ever seen. Priced at the best we can do, where else can you get David Lynch's Eraserhead, the Tinto Brass Collection, or Warhol's rare Chelsea Girls? We also have very pretty gift certs, rental passes and sweet sweet candy! Remember you can't spell "have a quasi-merry christmas, ok dude" without Videotheque!

goodbye, we love you. http://www.vidtheque.com

11:09 (You Blew It)

A simple hi will do Well, seeing as last weeks events made us feel like there was rocks in our stomachs and mud in our eyes, I am afraid to even bring it up. But alas, I must! I blame everyone outside of California. Suffice to say, we did our job. Nevertheless, international newspapers are right when they say we have 57 million dumb americans. Sigh. Anyways, in an effort to deter you from throwing yourself off a building like our good friend, Juzo Itami, sulk your sorrows in these nuggets. we, are, dead!

Before Sunset: Once, regarding music, a friend and I were disucssing the aesthetics of a certain group. He told me, "your music has too many words." And so I agreed. I suppose the same can be said for Mr. Linklater's Before Sunset, but removing the dialogue wouldn't make much sense either. Plus, you can always just push mute. Regardless of your take on international banter, Before Sunset carried a big punch amongst filmgoers everywhere. And looking at Linklater's track record, you can understand why. I'd recommend watching Before Sunrise, then Sunset, but only if you can handle the plethora of dialogue and your ears being used to death. It's good for you though.

The Clearing: With our current political climate, I feel how Robert Redford looks. A small film by theater standards, featuring an impressive cast, Mr. Redford and Helen Mirren, but I just can't stand to see the lame-ass cover art. The poster was so much more engaging. In any case, an executive gets kidnapped and then yells "get off my plane!" to Gary Oldman.

Day Without a Mexican: My Mexican mother saw this and said it was cute. I wasn't quite sure how to interpret that, but I assume it must be good. I told my coworkers though, that her opinion may not be so vaild, seeing that she thinks it's her racial and national duty to see every Mexican film--and like it. Hell, she went as far as to give birth to me on the exact day of Mexican Independence day. Aside from reelecting inferiors, see how far nationalistic pride can get you?

Parting Shots: Featuring the who's who of Britain's yesteryear's actors--Bob Hoskins, John Cleese, Chris Rea and Ghandi alike. A man is misdiagnosed with cancer and therefore decides to kill everyone who's everyone who's ever crossed him. Sounds like a plan! But remember I said, MISdiagnosed, whoops!

Stepford Wives: The dude who did Yoda's voice directed this film, featuring the perfect wives of stepford. I told my spouse, why can't you be more stepford! and to my surprise, she agreed. She left the house spotless before she left and had great sex with the neighbors. Sigh.

lastly, Our Personal, Staff RECs are back! Here's a run down:

Mark: The Great Dictator: No, not a metaphor as to how he runs this place (yet I'm sure some will disagree--great, now I'm fired), but a striking similarity to those running our current lives.. See if you can guess who. Featuring Ivan the Terrible, Fidel and Journeys with George.. Hmm

Rick: RIOT: Like Sly said, "There's gonna be a riot!" and yes those were our immediate reactions to last Tuesday, and still to this day. Let your anger ride with films like Gangs of New York, Day of the Locust and even oh-so cute Fritz the Cat.

Andy: Ray-Ban: I guess he missed the bus on this one, Andy's picks have nothing to do with Super Tuesday. Featuring scores of character's rockin' the Ray-Bans. Don't let the sun get in your eyes without these. A sprinkle of Rush, Risky Business and Terminator.

Elise: Dancing Thereapy in These Times of Woe: Yay! The newbie's first! Still feeling bummed? How 'bout serving it to W, after you learn the wicked moves from Outkast, Saturday Night Fever and even Dirty Dancing. And don't worry, nobody's watching.

That's it for us, please cheer up and try not to do it again. www.vidtheque.com

11:02

I'm biting my nails in anticipation, waiting to hear the good or bad news regarding tomorrow's events. Yes, yes, you know what I am talking about, so in hopes that you won't forget, I'll slyly insert messages in today's post. Agreed? Also, remember that guy I drop kicked last week? yeah, well, he's dead, but I've taken his ID card and plan to cast our vote tomorrow. I just hope I can pass for Suchin Wai-Ling. I won't hold my breath. I assume you had a blast yesterday getting cavities and scaring poor defenseless children. I sure did, some little girl walked up to my door dressed as Avril Lavine and I blasted some Damned, Minor threat, and Homosexuals at her. You know the punk stuff...she ran away squealing all the way home. I was quite lovely. If you haven't had enough madness already, here's some more to watch while you're thinking about stem cell research. Vote, vote, vote!

Around the World in 80 Days: Republican Guv'ner Ahnold makes a guest cameo in this Disney remake. Allegedly before all that election, mmm boobies stuff. Whatever dude. If you watch his performance, it's a great indicator of what was to come. Hindsight really is 20/20. Jackie Chan stars as Bustamante Cruz fighting Arnie to the death. Steve Coogan is his Ragin Cajun. They debately battle over native american casinos. In which Chan is racing across the world to visit everyone. Whew! Forget it, I'm winded already.

Facing Windows: Welps, since our copies haven't arrive yet, I can't tell you what it's about. But I promise we'll have some soon. In an effort to not waste space, what I can tell you about it prop 72. Health Care Coverage: A yes means: It requires large and mid-sized companies to pay for private coverage, caps employee share of premiums, and sets coverage standards. A no means: Proposition 72 creates a government-run healthcare scheme funded by an estimated $7 billion in new taxes on employers and workers by 2007. I have no health insurance. :(

Festival Express: All you hippies out here will wet your already-stained pants. eww. This live doc features the wild Janis, and the hairy Dead. Ironically amidst all the musical commotion and live acts, hippies are dancing and there is a immenent lack of soap.

Home at the End of the World: Don't blush when you see it. You know what I'm talking about. Colin Farrell. Yeah, Colin and his bad haircut. Don't laugh either. What the hell is this movie about? I know that's my job, but everyone keeps yapping about his Johnson. Can't we not stop thinking about sex, and move onto something more productive like voting. (see?)

Proof: An Aussie from way back when hits the plastic. Features a very young Russ Crowe and before he was an agent or drag queen, Hugo Weaving. There's pictures and stuff.

Speedo: This movie also is about Colin Farrell's penis. No I'm kidding. It's about some guy who drives fast. Hence the clever title. He also drives and destroys cars in demolition derbies. No, it isn't anything like Demolition Man, but damn near close. You know, in Demo Man they have sex by not touching! It's pretty cool. For fans of biker movies, that show on TLC, and voting.

Ok kids, go out and make a difference. Don't be lame or we'll never talk again. And don't forget, free underwear!

10:26

so the big decision is just around the corner, a week from Tuesday. I'm a little nervous. I went to a party the other night, and everybody was suffice to say, a little drunk. I stepped knee deep into a conversation about the said election, and one fellow conversator stated that he didn't want to make an uneducated decision, and therefore wasn't going to vote. So I drop kicked him in the head. Now, I understand that by this point we have become inundated with politics and the right to vote, such as Rock the Vote, Vote or Die! etc. I don't want to preach, but to put in terms we can all understand, I hear voting is alright, you may want to try it some time. Plus, free underwear for men ages 18-30! Anywho, while you are still wasting time being undecided, here's something to take your mind off of things. un, deux, trois!

Control Room: I feel bad for Dan Rather for that disaster that happened some odd weeks ago. But hey, any which way you can, know what I mean? Anyways, CBS this is not. This doc gives some insight as the goings-on at the ol cable-only network Al-Jazeera and it's relation to the usofa. Big around small theaters and those polikids too.

Dawn of the Dead: Laughing alongside my co-worker here at Le 'Theque, I stated that this film is going to be remade every ten years, for every generation per se, and each time George Romero will be producing. even after he's dead, he'll rise from the grave and produce away. How great would that be if he produced a movie called, Romero of the Dead, or Day of the Romero. Incredible.

Grand Theft Parsons: This sleeper really did sleep. Johnny Knoxville stars the thief trying theive Graham Parsons body. The film follows those oh so wacky days.

The O.C. s.1: I still say 90210 is way better. The O.C. is just one long commercial for abercrombie and phantom planet. Anyways, for those drooling at the mouth for your fill of waves, pearly whites and fat louie wallets, here's your chance to blow a million.

White Chicks: "Those are some ugly ho's." Or something like that, as quoted by that Star Jones. The entire Wayan's family, grandkids and all, star in this comedy our misgenderfication, womanhood, and hiding your goodness. A seminal hit in the theaters, treat your funny bone to some potty humor.

IN STORE ALERT Come by the store and check out our kickass Recommended wall. At the top we have our Democracy at Work. Swing (ha!) by and see how to government is screwing you over, and a little lower is our sppoookkkyyy halloween section. Featuring such great highlights as the exorcist, killer klowns and the flick filmed just across the street from us, and not just cleverly titled- Halloween. Go figure. Oh! and for your little ones, we've also included a Hallo-kids section. The great pumpkin, nightmare before xmas, and mad monster party can be found there.

Sadly that's it for now. please come, we are lonely and need some cheering up here. Money makes us happy. have a nice day! www.vidtheque.com

10:19

Heya! So it's been raining. And that is great. Yeah, yeah, I love the sun too, but being a SoCal native, I've learned to appreciate the wonderful moments in big grey clouds. So to all you nay-sayers, take this as an opportunity to cozy up with a loved one, rocky-road and all. let us depart! Cinderella Story: No offense or surprise here, but my money's down on Lindsay. She could whoop some ass if needed. Oh would I pay...er no I wouldn't because they are young and that is unethical. Yes. Anywho, Chad Michael Paul Gossler makes the moves on Duffers and she doesn't know what to do! Kinda like my first time with him.

Greg the Bunny: Isn't this the spin-off of Married with Children with Bobcat Goldthwait? I love that show, that Nikki Cox is hot. Huh? Seth Green? Since when? Oh, you're telling me that this is another irreverent bunny puppet show? and it was on Fox? but Nikki Cox is on this right? The

Hole: So let's count. There's Ass, Cox and Hole. We are on a roll today! I don't mean to bring up the Adolescent humor, sometimes one cannot resist. I know I have embarrassed all at the 'Theque, and for that I am ashamed. Kiera Knightly from Pirates and that soccer movie, and Thora Birch are meddling teens who find a mysterious hole. Just like Chad Michael Murray! oh zinger!

Intermission: Irish men drink too much. It's a proven fact. My co-worker is quater Irish and is drunk at the moment. Too much drink makes lives go bad. Just like in this movie. Some dude breaks up with his lady mate, and things go awry. Not that drinking had anything to do with it, but c'mon, they're Irish! There's more Irish in this film than lucky charms, and they are as follows: Cillian Murphy, Colm Meaney, Colin Farrell, and Kelly MacDonald. They really like that "Cuh" sound.

I'm Not Scared: A small suspense film from Italy. I almost went to see this, but instead got stuck watching Young Adam. Man, I blew it. Anywho, some kid thinks he hears voices coming from yet another hole, but who or what is it? ooohhoooo. It doesn't look half bad, so maybe some Italian thrills will go well with your gelato. Love me if you dare: A cutesy, Ameliesque love story directly from the city of lights. It's kinda like Jackass without the horrendous pain and well, idiocy. Remember when you used to be double-dared with a cherry on top to eat a worm or something? And then you did and threw up all over your crush's sun dress, and she resented you for the rest of your life. yeah, I married her.

The Return: It's no sequel by any means, it's a heavy drama about an estranged father who returns to rock his two son's lives. Hit's close to home and will make many illegitimate, and fatherless video clerks very sad.

Slipping Down Life: Lily Taylor plays Charles Manson and Guy Pearce is her Dennis Wilson/Beatles/Sharon Tate. A small indie that left many people laughing at the trailers, it's your turn to start chuckling.

Van Helsing: Kate Beckinsale revises her role from Underworld, except Wolverine takes the lead. She fights off vampires with her bad German accent, and couple of bullets too.

Quickly, that's it, and even quicker, goodbye.

10:12 or 21:01

hey folks We just cleaned the counters here at VT, so if you like things that smell like windex, come on by. Meanwhile, I'm standing around, all the while my feet are crumbling like feta cheese. Nothing too heavy this week (it's kinda slow in videoland), so let's ride a pepper and sprinkle some seasoning this week. un deux!

Bush's Brain: Oh man, the cover art on these things are getting worse by each release. You would think they could hire some young punk from Art Center, USC, or hell even Chaffee C.C. At least there would be something more interesting than that man's eerie smile and some pseudo-stencling. But maybe that's just the aesthetic they're going for... a sorta signifier for the smarts of good ol' Dubya. Ah, I bet they didn't want to fork out the 25 bucks. Anywho, the latest of the latest docs aimed at you damn undecided voters. Focuses not on Mr. Bush, but his love and brain in residence Karl Rove. By the way, one of the director's last name is SCHOOB. I'm so there.

The Day After Tomorrow: Would be Wednesday. I hate these play on words titles. They make me look up stupidly as I try to figure out excactly when the day after tomorrow would be. It's like how my girlfriend's cousin's nephew's mother's lover is related to Jake Gyllenhaal's maid. Anyways, I saw this at the drive-in (ha!) with my two lady friends (hoo!) and we enjoyed ourselves immensely. Well, half immensely. Anyways, this is perfect for a badass sound system, or a lazy night. You'll be so sucked in, you'd think it really snowed in NYC...oh wait. But be careful, the wolves might get you.

Raising Helen: Whatsherface is in this movie with that guy who married a big fat greek.. no, it wasn't like that, he had a big fat wedding! So, she and he play romantic interests in this movie, except he's a Priest Preacher that is a Principal (is that allowed anymore?) and she just inherited her sis's meddling kids. One word of advice: Adoption! Hell, tell that kid The Cat in the Hat stunk while you're at it.

Ren and Stimpy Uncut!! These lovable, disgusting, presumably gay(?) critters are finally available on DVD! Also included is a banned episode and more hair balls than you could ever want! Oh Happy Happy Joy Joy!

Stateside: The tagline for this is "Love is a Battlefield..." When was the last time you heard a Pat Benetar reference (I dooo like that song). A Marine on leave falls in love with a musician except her mental defficiency might slow them down. It's A Woman Under the Influence for generation X, Y, & Z. Starrs Rachel Leigh Cook, Jonathon Tucker and Val Kilmer.

The Wire Season 1: The latest from HBO, a series about drugs, lies and corruption. If you've had good luck with all their other seri, I'm sure you won't strike out with this one. Betty Blue: The classic crazy woman and Zorg are back in a brand new Director's Cut of the film that was nominated for best foreign film way back in 87. About and hour's worth of extra footage packaged nicely between to sheet of plastic. Cyans make me blue.

lastly On Sunday Christopher Reeve died from a heart attack. Of course known as Superman, and equally by his physical impairment, he spent his later years in life fighting to find a cure for spinal injuries. He was 52.

thanks folks. Next week i'll bring more love and silliness. adieu.

10:04 You eat like a bird

Hello! Welps, this myspace hasn't been cooperating and my socks are missing their elasticity. Aside from that, my throat feels like it's being invaded by 4 b.c. Romans. Indeed it has not been a good day. Anyways, since I care about you guys, I'll trek through the fields of dead white blood cells and tell you all the goodness, and some badness of this week. one, two, seven! Aladdin: Stolen from the Bowie record, Disney finally releases it's mega-hit on DVD. Featuring two discs, new songs and all that good stuff. I count my blessings thanking the Disney Gods that they did not insert the "new song" into the feature...ahem Lion King. Any case this will cheer up your illigitimate child and even more so when the first 50,000 copies come with a handful of Robin Williams' hair! eww. Born Rich: Yeah we hate them too. But they couldn't help being BORN into such a luscious, ill-deserved life. So I blame it on the parents. This made for cable documentary filmed by one of their own hits the plastic with 24K gold plating. Each disc comes with a designer sleeve ala Gucci, Fred Segal et al, and certificate for a free ride on Paris Hilton, or was that a free ride to Paris, and stay at the Hilton? Who knows these days.

Decline of the American Empire: I'm thinking the title signifies the USA empire, when really Canadians are techinically Americans too. Bastards, always blaming us. Therefore, it's the Decline of the Canadians! YAY! Anywho, Denys Arcand's first big hit, way before all that Barbarian stuff. Big amongst the cultured kind, or what we call Camericans.

Fahrenheit 9/11: Blah, blah, blah, blah. it's here.

The Five Obstructions: Lars Von Trier's trivial documentary about making and remaking a film, uh, about five times. Whatever dude. Wouldn't anyone else wanna see a sequel to Zentropa?
Horns and Halos: The cover shows this guy hiding behind a picture of Dubya, gleeming like Kevin Smith a couple of weeks ago. Yet another poli-doc to fill our walls. If you didn't get your fill from the aforementioned film, here's another that'll float, or sink you float.

Saved!: The ! is part of the title, not ours. Christianity is the butt of this film, Mandy Moore is Rachel McAdams character, and Jena Malone is of course Lindsay Lohan. Featuring young actors that aren't young enough to be the roles they play, Saved! was a small favorite on certain fests. Enjoy the mocking of your religion!

Also not mentioned above are the following: Tess (Roman Polanski), Strangers with Candy Final Season, Unconstitutional, The Hunger DVD, The Inner Tour (Israel), and James' Journey to Jerusalem (Israel).

Lastly, the badness: This sunday a beloved, if not typecast actress left us. Ms. Janet Leigh, 77, passed away from vasculitis. Come visit us and see our humble tribute to Ms. Leigh and see something else besides Psycho. 1927-2004

ok go out and be merry, and someone please send me some cough drops.