12:20 (patent pending)

Sup yo

So, the toothless she-devil exclaimed to me the other day that these little bloggies are losing their "umph." Hark! I replied, is that the sound of your dignity leaving you? Well, unfortunately it was just me and not her dignity, but I vowed from that day on to show her my smile every day. My big smile, with ALL of my teeth.

It's like a sibling rivalry, only better:

Brothers Grimm: Oh man, I don't know what's worse: the cover art on this thing, or Matt Damon's mole. It just looks at you, never looking away, taunting you, saying "Hello, little one. Care from guacoMOLE?!" And then you train yourself to wander your eye over to Monica Bellucci's cleverly placed cleavage. Not that you know, one would notice such a thing. Sigh, come back Terry, we miss you.

Exorcism of Emily Rose: What better time than Jesus's birthday to release a film about the devil? Awesome I say! Marketing is getting better these days, are for that reason alone you should rent this. No pea soup or spiderwalk here, but some really wierd contortions, and some butt ugly grimaces. Based on a "true" story, The Exorcism of Emily Rose is great holiday treat!!

Four Brothers: Mark Walhberg revisits his funky bunch daze, only he's not rocking the Calvin's. It's too bad that Marky left the hip hop world for movies, and I quote:
Yo! It's about that time
To bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme
I'm a get mine so get yours
I wanna see sweat comin' out your pores
On the house tip is how I'm swingin' this
Strictly Hip-Hop boy, I ain't singin' this
Bringing this to the entire nation
Black, white, red, brown
Feel the vibration
Unity, that's what this movie's all about.

Must Love Dogs: Must...hang...oneself.

Novemeber: No Stoopid, this is December. Don't you see Festivus is just around the corner! Courtney Cox dodges the Monica and plays Sophie, a photographer whose lover is killed during a robbery. The rest, I will let Michelle Piekarus from imdb.com summarize: But as she struggles to get over the murder, Sophie's life begins to change, leaving her clueless as to what's coming. But worst of all, the line between reality and fantasy is beginning to shatter. ....uh, what?

Serenity: Oh man, people realllllly love this show. (I quietly scoff and ooze when nobody's looking). Well, where the show Firefly left off, Serenity picks up. Sci-fi buffs and nerds alike lined up and around the corner to fill the pockets of Josh Whedon and get their galatic hits fulfilled. I still say that Dawson's Creek is waaaayyy better, but you don't see a freakin movie being made. But that might because Tom doesn't let Katie out after dark.

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New Staff Recs!!

Meg: Dental Days: Not that she's the toothless devil, but coincidently, her picks are about teeth, lack of, and those who extract. Nervous about seeing your dentist? Watch one of these and your blood pressure will shoot straight up!
Andy: These movies are upside down: Literally. He's gone off the deep end. Lord help us.
Paul: Axes of Evil: Ha! not just a clever pun, but a collection of those old battle axes. No! not your wife, but rather real axes used as the weapon of choice in these thrillers. Hhhheeeerrrrreeeeee'''''ssssss Johnny!

Please have warm and friendly christmas, don't get caught up in all that capitalist bargains, but do meet with friends, family and loved ones. And remember everybody loves a dvd! Best wishes and be merry.

www.vidtheque.com

12:06 (closer & closer)

Sup y'all,

well, here we are dreading those visits once again from those unwanted in-laws. But have no worries! The egg-nog will prove to be your rescue... even from this bitter cold. A chilly air brings out the worst looks in people. Who knew in California that scarfs and earmuffs were fashion no-nos? Welps, nevertheless, the angst and freeze be kicking in, so let's count out our benjamins and bring this economy up to fight terrorism.

bah-humbug!

Cinderella Man: What a pansy.

Dukes of Hazzard: Now that the news finally broke about Jessica and that wimp's divorce, looks like Mark's ready to get his game on. Only lord knows how long he's been waiting for Nick. Anyways, I theorize that when that wallet gets lighter and lighter, those shorts will get looser and looser. Hmm, any which way you can I guess.

Fantastic Four: One day, and I'm absolutely not kidding, but I was walking through my friend's neighborhood, this kid was completely kicking another kid's ass with those Thing gloves. So every hit he landed, all I heard was "It's cloberrin' time!" It was the funniest shite I've ever seen.

Nine Songs: Bad Boy Winterbottom comes back with this, ahem, er, love story. Featuring the ups and downs of a young relationship and how they relate to the lucrative concert scenes. yup, you heard me. Featuring BRMC, Super Furries, and Franz. Oh yeah, and those little sex scenes.

Ninth Day: Hhhuhhhh, his name is Schlondorff.

Puddle Cruiser: The Broken Lizard gang is back and I have no idea what the hell they are doing! But who cares about me. This originally was made in 1996, but now to increasing popularity the lizards are aiming to capitalize! Help em out!
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Do you know it's christmas time?
If you didn't, the movies in our kick-ass Christmas section will surely clue you in. Try on the classics, Christmas Carol and Lethal Weapon or even Die Hard! Sorry, no Hannukah, Kwanza, Festivus, or XXXmas.

keep warm!!

www.vidtheque.com

11:29

Hey all

Well, the black (market) Friday has passed and I seemed to have survived with nearly all my essentials. The turkey or tofurkey was dry, but the stuffing kept me well--stuffed-- The inlaws, I know I know, must've driven you mad, but hell, soon enough it will be MLK day and they will be far, far away. As for now, tolerate their insanity as they do yours, and buy your old man that tie he's always wanted.

gobble gobble:

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo: Despite the negative reviews (duh) against this picture, and Rob's full page ad refuting Ken Turan(?), this got's to be some wicked ass comedy! Taken from my autobiography, Deuce is on the hunt again, only this time he's got his woohoo set on those hot swedish babes, or rather those other east european women...? Well, any which way you can Deuce, you go boy.

Lila Says: Whenever I think of this title, I always catch myself singing "Candy Says" only horribly out-of-tune. Just like when I think of Das Boot and I think of Mix-a-lot's "I Like Big Butts," in German: Ich mag große Kolben und, der ich nicht liegen kann. Sie anderen Bruders können nicht verweigern. Wenn ein Mädchen in mit einer itty bitty Taille und dem runden Ding in Ihrem Gesicht läuft, sind Sie gesprungen. Booya sucka!

March of the Penguins: When I was enjoying my Arizonian vacation, I sorta felt like I was a marching penguin. Ironic and lame I know, but the true Californian in me came out blazing...or rather freezing. I suspect it's because it's 19 fucking degrees there.

Mr. & Mrs. Smith: Oh jeez. The two most beautiful people in the world finally do it. They get together and lay big fat one. Good or bad who cares, it's Brangelina.

Murderball: This movie is a lie. There's no murder. Here I thought it was a follow up to Rollerball, and it wasn't it even close to Thunderball! yes, yes I know what they do, I couldn't even dream of doing, but I'm just sayin, if you're gonna say murder, I better some blood.

Sky High: I think that's Snoop Dogg's life goal.

**************************************

As this weekend comes to a closing, I am proud to announce that Videotheque has reached the 10,000 stock inventory mark! (with the 10,000th title being....Their Eyes Were Watching God!....aw, lame!) So thanks for all your support, and hopefully in no time, we'll be celebrating the 25, 000! Yay!!

www.vidtheque.com

11:22 (this ain't ynnuf)

myspace hates us.

11:08 (love on the run)

Sup y'all....

We are all busy, busy people.. Always running around, trying to move through our lives faster and faster and faster and well, you get the point.. In an effort to keep with said lifestyle, today's entry will be no different. Besides, the stigmata on my hand won't allow for much diddledaddling. agreed? oh well.

Chicks dig scars:

Apres Vous: sacre bleu!

Charlie & the Chocolate Factory: The wacky imagination of Timmy Burton brings to life (again) Roald Dahl's story made infamous with the Deppers. I hear the oomps aren't the best, but it just may be worth your beaucoup bucks.

Beavis & Butthead vol. 1: Huhhh, huuuhhhh, he said "butt."

The Devil's Rejects: they shouldn't talk about your mother that way. (oh schnaps!!)

Yes: Sally Potter's long awaited follow up to the Man Who Cried. Huhhh, huuuuhhhh he said "pot."

********************

quick and easy like your mama baby. See you next time.

www.vidtheque.com

IN COLD BLOOD- Movie of Capote's novel- Screening tomorrow!

Salutations, cinemaniacs! Tomorrow night marks our final episode of inebriated cinema as Videothèque and Huron SubStation present Cinema at the Station... it's the last night of our "movie and drinks" series everyone's been slurring about! This farewell festivity happens TOMORROW NIGHT, Thursday, November 3rd. (Note the important schedule changes mentioned below!)

We wrap the series with a presentation of IN COLD BLOOD, Richard Brooks' stylish and powerful 1967 drama adapted from Truman Capote's novel about a shocking real-life murder case. Capote's authoring of this book is the subject of the film Capote, currently in theaters, starring Philip Seymour Hoffman and directed by Bennett Miller.

In Cold Blood is a daring cinematic portrait, employing flashbacks to fully examine what drives an individual to commit thoughtless and brutal crimes, while using a highly innovative jazz score by Quincy Jones to capture the moody atmosphere. Capote's own role as researcher-narrator of the young criminals' intense friendship, fantasies, and troubled lives is effectively brought to the screen in this striking, groundbreaking drama.

Two aimless drifters, Perry Smith (Robert Blake) and Dick Hickock (Scott Wilson), target the home of Kansas businessman Herbert Clutter. After breaking into the house, they find no money, and Smith and Hickock brutally kill the entire Clutter family. They escape the scene of the crime and head for Mexico, but they eventually go back to the States, ultimately returning to Kansas. After being chased for almost a year, the troubled drifters are captured and sentenced to death.

Don't miss our presentation of In Cold Blood tomorrow night, projected in large-scale, full digital quality. Beer and wine will be served at our donation-based bar (with ID), or BYOB! Come early and socialize over drinks to the sounds of our lounge DJ. Here's where it all takes place:

Huron SubStation
2640 Huron St.
Los Angeles (Highland Park), CA 90065
At the corner of Huron St. and Avenue 28 - Entrance on Avenue 28.
If you get lost, call 323-225-8909 for help!
And here's a map!

PLEASE TAKE NOTE: To make things a little easier on moviegoers, start times have been moved up slightly, and the cover charge somewhat reduced. These changes will affect this, and all future screenings in this film series.

Music & drinks start at 7:00 pm.
The movie begins at 8:30 pm.
$5 entry cover keeps these events happening.

For more information, please visit the Videotheque website or the Huron SubStation website.

10:25 (at least that's what you said)

Heyall

I hate this thing. Everytime I am damn near finishing, I hit some small, little, irrelevant button and bam! the page quits/freezes/shits and I've gone and lost all my data. Myspace: you suck. They should the bad-ass gmail thing and auto-save this, so that I don't have to go on a rant and annoy you. I'm hungry. I'm gonna go eat a baby.

mmm, yum:

5x2: is 10!

Bewitched: Samantha would have benefited from using her spells and turning this into some hug success, but alas she did not. I'm saying it's a huge pile of crap, that's for you to decide (remember everybody loves Will), but the nose wiggle belongs to the one and only Elizabeth Montgomery.

Last Days: Winner of the 1998 Oscar for Best...No! not that "Last Days!" This one is Gus Van Sant's take on the now-mythological death of Kurt D. Cobain. Michael W. Pitt stars as Blake, the junkie rocker with everything to lose. Once, a chemistry teacher told me: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Why the hell she told me I don't know, but damn it's stuck since then. (Recommended)

House of Wax: The waxy Hilton stars alongside my secret crush Elisha Cuthbert in this updated horror flick. The original sticks smokes, but if you fancy Ms. Hilton with a big rod, this will do you perv.

Melinda and Melinda: I must admit that Woody will never let me down. Yes, I know his last haven't been his best, but he's Woody! The neurotic, intelligent, New York beast! Witness a comedy conundrum of Will Ferrell starring in this picture about a woman who's off her rocker and woman who's a little confused. (ssh, they're the same woman).

Rize: Do you clown? Well you should. David LaChappelle thinks he can. And those in this picture certainly can. Don't you struggle.

Mysterious Skin: (whoops! out of order) The long absent Greg Araki returns true to form with this pic about those crazy adolescent youths, sex, and subculture. Relive those long, youthful days.
*******************

I think that'll do, but here's a list of other items worth noting (if you care):

Alias Season 4
The L Word Season 2
King of the Corner
Leolo

Happy Halloween!!

www.vidtheque.com

Alfred Hitchcock's MARNIE (1964) - Screening TOMORROW NIGHT!

Behold, movie misfits! The time is upon us! You are hereby doomed to a night of bone-chilling, spiked cinema as Videothèque and Huron SubStation present the next (quite deadly) installment of Cinema at the Station... the "movie and drinks" nights all the ghouls and beasts have been raving about. This one happens TOMORROW NIGHT, Thursday, October 20th. (Don't forget the recent schedule changes, noted below!)

Halloween has nearly arisen, and to commemorate this festive occasion we have selected the spooktacular 1964 Alfred Hitchcock thriller Marnie as this installment's film.

This thriller, based on a best-selling novel by Winston Graham, revolves around a pathological liar and compulsive thief (Tippi Hedren) who is befriended by her latest victim, Mark Rutland (Sean Connery). The core of the story concerns a wealthy man who marries a beautiful woman who steals from his business. Despite his sincere love, dashing looks, and wealth, some deep-seated neurosis makes her emotionally inaccessible, causing him to search her past for an explanation. This is Connery's American film debut, and he portrays his character's fascination with Marnie with a conviction that allows the psychological turmoil of the young woman to emerge. Hedren's performance as the deeply conflicted and emotionally scarred woman walks the fine line favored by Hitchcock, balanced between an icy sexuality and emotional fragility. The director wants to show the audience Marnie's world and fears, so he uses a range of innovative visual techniques--including awkward rear projections, flashes of color, and a menacing atmosphere of storms--to convey her troubled state of mind. MARNIE is one of Hitchcock's most underrated and underappreciated films. In terms of psychological power and innovative visual techniques, MARNIE ranks alongside Vertigo (1958) and Psycho (1960) as one of Hitchcock's most exceptional films, though it is less well known than these classics.

Only a real monster would miss our presentation of Marnie tomorrow night, projected in large-scale, full digital quality. Spirits (beer and wine) will be served at our donation-based bar (with ID), or BYOB! (B= booze, blood, bats, etc.) Come early and socialize over drinks to the sounds of our mutant DJ. Here's where it all takes place:

Huron SubStation
2640 Huron St.
Los Angeles (Highland Park), CA 90065
And here's a map!

OF GRAVE IMPORTANCE: To make things a little easier on moviegoers, start times have been moved up slightly, and the cover charge somewhat reduced. These changes will affect this, and all future screenings in this film series.

Music & drinks start at 7:00 pm.
The movie begins at 8:30 pm.
$5 entry cover keeps these events happening. (Free admission for disembodied heads, headless bodies and the undead.)

For more information, please visit the Videotheque website or the Huron SubStation website.

10:18 (time regained)

Sup yo!
Arr!! oh, wait, that was last month.
With the recent onslaught of rain and eggshells, we have been floated back into this myspace thingy. Seeing as a lot of you depend on our witty banter for your latest news, we know you have been craving some atencione. My morale ain't low, cuz I'm riding high on these waves of rain, but lord help me--if this compy doesn't wig out on me--we are all doomed.

therapy: priceless:

Batman Begins: Well, I still must be the only person on this planet to have yet see this picture. Batman flew the coop for me when I saw nipples on the suit. Nothin against our trusty areolas, but I'm just sayin, leather doesn't lactate. Who's idea was that? I blame the only and only Joel Schumacher. So for that, I've shyed away from the bat. However, I've been informed that this one is by Chris Nolan, best known for Memento and a lack of nipples. I just hope he doesn't go for the camel toe. (ooh, maybe I shouldn't of said that...)

Land of the Dead: The ubiquitous George Romero is back with yet another love story. Only this time, it concerns...oh come on! you know I'm joking! It is nothing less than another zombie movie!! With Halloween just around the corner, it makes me wonder if this is just another creepy coincidence, or what I like to call "smartketing!" Well, whatever. But hailed as a better update on his latest zombies. Oh excuse me, living impaired.

Mad Hot Ballroom: (insert dirty joke here). Kids don't dance like this anymore. Or at least not where I went to school. All I know how to do was the Roger Rabbit and the worm. The good lookin chaps where bumpin and grinding to Jodeci while I was off in the corner impressing my techies with my smooth moves. Can't say, I wooed my fellow ladies (or even gentlemen for that matter), but boy could I serve you.

Ma Mere: Isablle Huppert stars in this creepy, somthing-isn't-so-right-kinda-incestuous-way picture. Ewww, but I guess even France has a Kentucky-like region (no offense Kentuckians) where they like to keep the blood lines pure. Again, ewwww.

Tell Them Who You Are: I'm Haskell Wexler and this is my doc.
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New Holiday Related Staff Recs!!

Stop Motion: A giant section featuring a slew of films that feature the amazing, exhausting technique of claymation and stop motion animation.

Mark: Ain't nothin like the real thing (baby): Well, this isn't exactly halloween related but hell, I'll give him the ups anyways. Featuring a slew of classics that have been chewed and spit out by it's (ugh) remake.
Andy: How do you say..ah yes...boo!: Halloween in countries that don't even celebrate halloween!! Featuring a plethora of films that sink on the horror side of things, just with a little english words at the bottm.
Megs: You wanna suck WHAT?! ewww. You have a dirty mind. It's only about vampires. From Bela is Chris lee and even David Bowie(?) Yup, the thin white duke only charged five dollar.
Gracie: Uprisings: We are still waiting.
Paul: Vacant, with a hint of sadness: Yee must be privy to Shaun of the Dead to understand that, but if you ain't, take a gander at his section and I'm sure you figure that out. Calling George Romero....
Josh: What's eating you: Don't do a double take, you have seen this section before (and not at Video Paradiso) but Josh is too damn busy to think of another one, so to return in all it's glory: Cannibalism.
******************
Ok, so I will return next week, for the most ghoulish announcements you've ever hear!! (ok that was lame.)

ciao!

www.vidtheque.com

Jim Jarmusch's "Down By Law" - TOMORROW! @ Cinema at the Station

Greetings, film freaks! It's time for another installment of alcohol-infused cinema as Videothèque and Huron SubStation present Cinema at the Station... the "movie and drinks" nights everyone's been talking about. This one happens TOMORROW NIGHT, Thursday, October 6th. (Note the important schedule changes mentioned below!)

This time we present Down By Law, the 1986 dark comedy written and directed by acclaimed American filmmaker Jim Jarmusch. Jarmusch -- also responsible for such provocative films as Stranger Than Paradise (1984), Dead Man (1995), Coffee and Cigarettes (2003) and the current theatrical sleeper Broken Flowers -- has been mesmerizing audiences with his astute talent for breathing life into the mundane.

Down By Law is a comic fable about finding the American dream in the most unlikely of places. After being thrown out of the house by his girlfriend, Zack (Tom Waits), an out-of-work DJ, takes a job driving a stolen car with a body in the trunk across the state line. He is arrested and put into a cell with Jack (John Lurie), a pimp who's been busted for recruiting a minor. The trio is completed when Roberto (Roberto Benigni), a boisterous Italian tourist who is arrested for killing a man while playing cards, joins them in their cell. Eventually, Roberto succeeds in convincing Zack and Jack to break out of jail with him. But when they do, the escapees find themselves lost in the bayou with no salvation in sight. It isn’t until they land at the small home of an Italian immigrant (Nicoletta Braschi) that Zack, Jack, and Roberto learn to appreciate the beauty the world has to offer. Robby Muller’s gorgeously contrasted black-and-white photography adds a beautifully stark artistic dimension to Jarmusch's film, which only heightens the performances by the three leads.

Don't miss our presentation of Down By Law tomorrow night, projected in large-scale, full digital quality. Beer and wine will be served at our donation-based bar (with ID), or BYOB! Come early and socialize over drinks to the sounds of our lounge DJ. Here's where it all takes place:

Huron SubStation
2640 Huron St.
Los Angeles (Highland Park), CA 90065
And here's a map!

PLEASE TAKE NOTE: To make things a little easier on moviegoers, start times have been moved up slightly, and the cover charge somewhat reduced. These changes will affect this, and all future screenings in this film series.

Music & drinks start at 7:00 pm.
The movie begins at 8:30 pm.
$5 entry cover keeps these events happening.

For more information, please visit the Videotheque website or the Huron SubStation website.

09:27 (kudos bar)

Hey

So I had written something really, really funny but then tried to post it and myspace went postal. Thus, with my apologies, you get my lazy truncated version. (But pssh it ain't a good week anyway):

Suckas!

Lords of Dogtown: Rad Dude!
Robots: No affiliation to Asimov
Billy Jack 35th Ann. Box Set: "I'm gonna take this side of my foot to meet that side of your face."

I am so sorry.

www.vidtheque.com

09:20 (plank walker)

Hey Hey Hey

Who be a pirate's favorite soul singer?
ARRR Kelly!!

Arr ye wee scalliwags!! Be herest ye maties, wantin ye information regarding ye this week's wee dvds! Arr! Darn beelow awaits yee's dead mans chest full wee booty! So beheest yeeself mate, and enjoy yee pirate's treasure! Arr!!

ahoy! ye ponty scum!

Adventures of Sharkboy & Lavagirl: Yarr!! Me loves me a good adventure! Yee young scalliwag, sharkboy (me hates sharks!) and princess Lavagirl (me hearties) travel in vast hopes of buried treasure! Nay! A young lad dreams of friends and some ye great adventures! Sail away matey!

Born into Brothels: Nay! This story even make Ol' Greenbeard shed a wee tear. It be thee winner of thee 2005 oscar for best documentary. Thee oscar be made out of gold, and wee scalliwags be big fans of yee gold! Arr! If yee can take children prostitutes, then yee matey is for this!

Desperate Housewives: Argh!! They wenches can be me housewife and yee won't be desperate anymore, eh polly?! Argh, he he he!! Big loser from late night's emmy, Desperate Housewives makes television worth watching again-ARGH!

Inside Deep Throat: Ahoy! This be any pirate's moving picture! Just be Linda Lovelace and a bit of rum, me buried treasure and arr! Arr!! Deep Throat be that scalliwag One-Eyed Willie's favorite past time!! Arr!

It's all gone pete tong: Scurvy he ain't got! He gone deaf!! Arr! and that ain't too good for being a dj! Arr! Me thinks he be turin to a life of piratin!

The Longest Yard: Me be telling yee that thee longest yard surely is when yee be walkin the plank! They be no tangled mystery when ye being eaten by big hungry sharks and a tickin gator. Me thinks that scum Sandler be too slow to save ye. Smee be washing the poop deck with em. Arr!

No Direction Home: Arr! Bob Dylan be needing someone in thee crows nest to know where he be going. Begin to look like thee rollin like a stone ain't workin too well for him, Arr! Maybe he best be turing that damn geetar into a mighty raft!! It be flowing better than any ol song he be trying to sing. Arr!

Turtles Can Fly: Nay!! They be swimmin under me ship! I eats em over a vast open flame!! Arr! Mmm, the shell best be used for ornaments and skin boots! Arr!

Voyages: Arr!! me be searching for me pirate's booty. X marks the spot it does! Best not be hunting me buried treasure, or yee will get yours! Like that scalliwag Dylan, Mark en Winchell!! Arr!! Arr!! Arr!!

Aye Matey!! Don't be a rakish lad and go out an hunt for treasure!! But not mee treasure!!

www.vidtheque.com.arr

** the preceeding is brought to you by the national committee for talk like a pirate day (Sept. 19)

Jean-Luc Godard's BREATHLESS - TOMORROW (Thu) Cinema at the Station

Pardon the short notice, but TOMORROW NIGHT, Thursday 9/15, Huron SubStation and your favorite independent DVD store in South Pasadena, Videothèque, will present another installment of Cinema at the Station, our twice-monthly "movie and drinks" nights.

This time, we present Jean-Luc Godard's 1960 film Breathless. Renowned for its groundbreaking use of handheld photography and unorthodox editing, Breathless stands as possibly the most quintessential piece in the Nouvelle Vague (French New Wave) genre.

Originally titled À bout de souffle, Breathless stars Jean Seberg as sexy Patricia Franchini, an American student and aspiring journalist who gets caught up with Michel Poiccard (Jean-Paul Belmondo), a Bogart-esque fugitive on the run from the law after stealing a car and killing a policeman. Frantic car chases and passionate lovemaking accent the duo's amoral odyssey through the streets of Paris trying to collect money he's owed so the two can escape to Italy.

Don't miss our presentation of Breathless tomorrow night, projected in large-scale, full digital quality. Beer and wine will be served at our donation-based bar (with ID), or BYOB! Come early and socialize over drinks to the sounds of our lounge DJ. Here's where it all takes place:

Huron SubStation
2640 Huron St.
Los Angeles (Highland Park), CA 90065
And here's a map!

Music & drinks starting at 7:30pm.
The movie begins at 9:00pm.
$7 entry cover keeps these events happening.

For more information, please visit the Videothèque website or the Huron SubStation website.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: To make things a little easier on the 9-to-5ers, the showtime for all other future Cinema at the Station events is being changed to 8:30 PM. (This does not affect the Breathless screening.)

Also, don't miss our ongoing Videothèque @ Chouinard World Film Series held twice monthly at the Chouinard School of Art in South Pasadena.

09:06 (say yes say yes)

Hey all

Phwew! Certainly you've noticed that there has been a lack of expression here (via blog blogging), and it's no fault of our own except it is. Simply said, we've been lazy. So for that you will have to forgive us. Chances are though, you too were out fubbling about, throwing fits in other video stores. (Pssh, I'll let you in on a little secret: you know we love you when we let you sign your credit card slip with the blue pen, not the red). Anyways, to get yourself over these summertime blues, here are the latest of plastic round things:

Easy does it:

Crash: No it's not the Cronenberg picture, but the latest from first time director/verteran writer Paul Haggis. Featuring a flurry of characters (not having sex in the backseat) on a hot summer day in Los Angeles throwing around words and bigotry like it's Paris Hilton. Definitely a hot ticket item that will always be checked out. Come early!

The Holy Girl: I checked this out over the weekend and tried sooooo hard to watch it, but alas never got to. Now I'm jealous of all those who will watch it and like it, thinking that they are privy to something special. When they ain't. See? Anyways, Lucrecia Martel brings us her follow up to La Cienega (which you should see). Think an Argentinian bastard child of Claire Denis and Catherine Breillat. Spectacular.

Lost: Second to only that of Desperate Housewives, ABC's new series features people running around in circles, wondering where the hell they are. No, I know it's not that simple, but come on, they're on an island. Will someone build a damn hut already?

Punk Attitude: One day I went out to the mall and bought all the studs that Hot Topic could legally sell me, spiked my hair, laced up my twenty eyes, threw on some safety pins and put on my "vanity is a punk attitude" t-shirt and went the movies. Cuz you know, that's what punks do. I'm sorry, I just don't see the connection of punk ideals and staring at the mirror wondering if you look punk enough. As the title stipulates, it's certainly all about the attitude, not the look. So when you see some dude in a polo, don't think you can walk all over him, he just might stick his boot up yer arse. Oh yeah, this is a documentary about punk and it's music.

TaDa!

Some new staff recs!

Paul: Vengeance as Therapy: Over time you begin to notice liitle nuances that make you think about the psychological state of your fellow co-workers. If "sweet relief" didn't make you question, certainly this one will. I'm sure Paul's fine, but the characters in his section may need a bit of shackles.
Andy: Survival 101: School's back in and for some, `it ain't easy. School sucks, but it's even worse when you have to watch out for the guns, drugs and fellow class members. Not everything is Bayside high.
Meg: Edith's big Head: Yup, the film fashion guru finally gets her do, thanks to megs. Check out her collection of Hitch pictures, Hepburn and even 10 commandments. "Thou shall be dress by thee known as Head!"

a wonderful return to grace. Oh yeah! Come say hello to new girl Grace! She's friendly and full on smiles, tattoos and piercings! she'll gladly entertain your questions.

see ya!

www.vidtheque.com

Secretary screening tomorrow night! Movie and drinks anyone?

TOMORROW NIGHT...
Come enjoy a movie and drinks as Videothèque and Huron SubStation present the cult film favorite Secretary (2002) starring Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader, directed by Steven Shainberg. It's a dark comedy about typos, obedience, pain and pleasure. If you thought Maggie Gyllenhaal was just your average, good little girl next door, this movie will surely change that perception forever. James Spader reprises his regular role as the creepy weirdo.

Get snockered! Beer and wine will be served at our donation-based bar (with ID), or you may feel free to "BYOB" with no problem. However, donations to the bar are strongly encouraged, as they will keep these events happening.

The screening takes place TOMORROW NIGHT, yes... THURSDAY THIS WEEK, August 18 at 9PM SHARP. Doors open at 7:30. The event location is as follows:

Huron Substation
2640 Huron St.
Los Angeles (Highland Park), CA 90065
And here's a map!

For more information, please visit the Videothèque website, or the Huron SubStation website.

Put this event on your calendar NOW so you won't forget.... I said NOW!

08:16 (enough already)

Hey

We are back and with a vengeance! Well, as it turns out, the gods are against us this week, as our store has been full of calamity, enough to rival that of Mr. Chaplin. So when you come in, forgive our mess, watch your step, and nevermind the bullocks. Just know that we are still up and running, just kinda with a black eye. And if by chance you come at a bad time, and our clerks are trying to get through a line like the Greeks through the Turks--please kindle yourself with patience, look up and enjoy the ambiguously homo-erotic He-Man. He's waiting for you with pusling muscles:

Oh Skeletor!

The Ballad of Jack and Rose: It's not just coincidence that this title comes off a bit poetic. This littly ditty is directed by Rebecca Miller daughter (and spouse of Daniel Day Lewis) of playwright great, Artie Miller. Jack and Rose lives on an island. Jack is sick and his lady-friend and her two sons visit him. Jack is preoccupied with you know what and Rose is curious about boys, sexually curious (not just a clever name!). The bond between Jack and Rose is strong, but how strong? Since I haven't seen it I can't tell you, but I do know they're not suckin on a chili dog.

The Brown Bunny: O Vincent Gallo O Vincent Gallo. What troubles you bring yourself. This is indeed that Brown Bunny. Or as a customer of ours likes to call it, "the blowjob movie." Booed at Cannes, panned by Roger Ebert (then revered), and torn by a dozen others alike, this is easily the most controversial blah blah out of the past couple of years. Heavy in European ethos and American ego, Brown Bunny wins our hearts. And here's why we love the staunt Republican. Regardless of others, he does his own shit the way he wants. Plain and simple. I dare you check it out, and see how there's more to the picture than bad press and a little felatio.

Dave Chappelle: For What It's Worth: Well, apparently nothing. Dave's gone MAD! After splitting off to Africa for a "spiritual healing" session, who knows what's happening to Chappello. Anyways, before he went nutty, he filmed this live stand at the Fillmore. So watch it and think back nostaglically how cool he was before he took a long walk off a short pier.

The Office (US) Season 1: I think this is more than NBC trying to capitalize on the BBC success. It's actually a little funny. My main man Steve Carrell brings em in like trash to trailers with the funny. His awkward persona and receding headline alone should be worth the price of the rental. C'mon! You're going to be paying beau coup bucks for 40 Year Old Virgin, why not this? Exactly.

Sin City: I tried so hard to figure out if this was set in Las Vegas, till about half way through the film I realized that Vegas is just as seedy, but not that violent. Anywho, a gang of actors star in this action packed, not-for-kids comic book tale. Directed by Robert Rodriguez, Frank Miller and even little appearance by Quentin Taratino, Sin City is actually tons o fun. Art direction, plenty of stunts and worthwhile storytelling make this a better comic adaptation than say, DaredevilHulkFantasticFouretc. Think if Pulp Fiction was drawn and half naked women.

Wedding Date: Grace meets her man.
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New Staff Recs! Yes!
Jules: 24 Little Hours: Need more help figuring this one out? That's sad, but it's about little movies when the heat goes down in a day's rotation.
Paul: Junk in the Trunk: Yay, Baby Got BACK! Huh? Oh no, my bad. This is not a section about big asses, but rather actual items in auto trunks. Sometimes this little nuance proves to be an important point in the plot. Inform yourself.
Andy: Out from behind the camera: Who says directors can't act! Tell that to those ten who star in Andy's section this month. Featuring the little known acting talents of Jim Jarmusch, Werner Herzog as well as the well-known spoils of Woody Allen and Roman Polanski.
Meg: I want to ride my bicycle: Inspired by her recent mode of transportation, meg's pix features all that is on bikes! I think she's quietly saying that we should stop killing the earth and emptying our wallets and pedal away!

soooo, not bad eh? Good, a job well done I say.

au revoir!

www.vidtheque.com

08:02 (spinless head)

Sup Y'all

On a hot, summery day, in the vast streets of Pomona,kids-willingly mind you-play a wild game of wiffle ball. They meet and gather around a juice-filled cooler with dreams of hitting that one ball that would bring the crowds to their tireless feet. On this very day, many hearts were broken and others were rejoicing in tears as the game was edge out 15-14, tenth inning. Yes, in wiffle ball they surpass the ninth inning. So next time you drive by a park and see those ghostly kids swinging away, give them a honk and say "pinch me a winner!" They'll nod their heads in unison, with a smirky smile to send you right off.

I'm losing you:

Alexander: alexander! - our older brother! - set out for! - a great adventure! -
he tore our images - out of his pictures! - he tore our names out - of
all his letters! No dummy, not that alexander! This one is Oliver Stone's! Not Win Butler's! Hated and dragged through every critic's mud, and even GLAAD's, Stone's Alex finally (and possibly shamefully) hits the dvd circuit. What I don't seem to understand is, if this movie really is this bad, why doesn't the studio or hell, Stone himself, hire a designer to design a cover that we can stomach. I don't need to know how many cavities Colin Farrell has, nor what's floating around in those wide nostrils of his. Just sayin is all. Come on Alex, you can do it! There's nothing to it!

Downfall: No this isn't a metaphor for what happened to Stone's career or Alexander's box-office intake, it's a movie about Hitler fool! The last hours are chronicled in this near 3hour critic's darling. Bruno Ganz stars as the Fuhrer himself, even that ittybiity mustache makes an appearance. I'm gonna go ahead and say this aint the midnight movie or hot date movie you're going after. I doubt this will solve the neverending mystery as to his death, but it sure will rejuvinate your interest, or at least your curiousity. But we all know what curiosity did to the cat...

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what! you mean that's it? I do. I'm sorry, I know you probably think I'm a liar, and you're right, but I know good things are coming, I CAN FEEL IT!

anywho, next week I'll bring you our spanking new pix, as well as some goodies.

au revoir!

www.vidtheque.com

07:26 (where o where)

Hey all

Back to my usual self, I lay here sweating and waiting for something wonderful to come and treat me to a nice day here at vt. Alas, nothing comes it's way, and with the onslaught of high degree molecules, I begin to hallucinate little vt oompas who vaguely resemble a past employee. Friends, something tells me summer's here. While I go commit myself, here's your dinner for tonight, quality notwithstanding:

mmm mmm good (kinda):

Errol Morris/DVD Collection/First Person: Two whopping sets from documentarian extradonaire finally hits the plastic this week! First we have a few that nerds have been waiting for eons: Brief History of Time, Thin Blue Line, Vernon Florida, and Gates of Heaven. the other is a fairly new series where Morris interrogates those who inhabit this world. From about 5 years ago. Five years ago, Errol Morris coulda been making a kick ass documentary about me while I was attempting to take my SATs, throw my mack on, and chug down some coolies. Pssh, hell of a lot better than some dude with a robot voice.

The Jerk: See above.

Steamboy: Katsuhiro Otomo gives Miyazaki a run for his money in Steamboy. It's up to you whether or not Miyazaki gets spanked, but regardless of your masochism, you can deny the great talent of Otomo. The plot is about dwindling energy, and the deadly possibility of steam! Hmmm, sound familiar Kevin Costner? Maybe a little bit like WATERWORLD!

The Upside of Anger: Hey! Look who it is, it's Kevin P. Costner! I don't mean to single him out, JFK is the shizznit, but still I must. It's in the Videotheque handbook. He and Joan Allen star opposite each other, in this fiml about "adults." What's so more adult about this than any other R-rated film-I don't know- but I hear it's this year's Sideways. Just without the wine and stuff. So if you prefer your's sober, and I know you do, it's here waiting...on the shelf...with no one to pity it.

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A slow week, I know, but that's not our fault. Next week is better I promise. Also, come get Bit Part soon, we are getting down to the last ones! And And, also new staff recs next week!

my time is over, my pension is due. ciao bella.

www.vidtheque.com

07:12

Hey

As I stand here, my energy drains out through my toes like hoses and circles this computer endangering it and myself of electrocution. I fear this death and tend to run away when such a threat arises. Which is what happened last week, so I'm sorry. Usually when I'm pooped, I talk like this (unlike that) and make no sense or cents about it. So while you're forgiving me, here, chew on this:

lord help me:

Cry Baby: When folks used to come up to the counter and ask for this, I would say: "oh, sorry, it's only on video." And then they would perform the titular task and run away as such. Now, when they ask if it's finally available, I in turn, begin to sob repeatedly and bitch how there's no Cop and a Half DVD.

Ichi-1: When my pal told me this was out, I screamed with glee and thought how great it was that Matt Groening made an Itchy and Scratchy DVD, but felt extremely confused as to why he would leave out Scratchy? It just didn't make sense. Who would Itchy commit bodily harm to? Certainly not himself, that's absurd!
I went on and on until finally Rick took out his double barrel (whoa, not that one!) and let me have it (not that either!).

Million Dollar Baby: Winner of last year's best picture Oscar (as well as Actress, Supporting Actor and something else) Clint is back. Aside from it's slightly unbelievable plot and confused political ideology, Baby ain't terrible. Certainly made to schlep the academy, I bet you'll want to see it too. Just don't call this the best boxing film eva, that belongs to Marty. You go boy!

Sexo Por Compasion: My life's goal.

A Very Long Engagement: [And slightly long title] Jean-Pierre Jeunet's latest, and France's most expensive, features Jodie Foster, Duckman(!), and of course Audrey Tautou. Audrey's Mathilde goes on the hunt of tracking down her beau, after it is noted that he has gone missing. Featuring gorgeous art direction, costumes, cool little gadgets and widgets, and the ever slightly charming Tautau, this will hit your romantic side. Invite your other over, I'll bring the Barry White.
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New Staff Recs!
Mark: Holidays in the Sun: Mark's getting into the summer lovin'. If you're feeling the heat (and lord knows I aint), then get sweltering with these puppies: Hot Summer, Gidget(!), and See the Sea.
Jules: Send Me An Angel: Movies with angels. Duh.
Rick: The Phone's Ringing Dude: The other day I got pestering phone calls starting at 4am. No one was on the other line, so I figured someone was being a dickhead. And they were, but Rick's picks don't feature dickheads. Well unless you count that voice from Ringu. Featuring Dial M for Murder, Lady from Shanghai and formerly La Cienega.
Andy: Noir is the New Black: Andy's latest features a sampling of what is called Neo-Noir pictures. Take a dash of Blood Simple, a pinch of Band of Outsiders and gobble of L.A. Confidential and you get MURDER!
Jessie: Suburbmania: The best of the worst possible place. Suburbs. Jessie's genius reveals the odd, the bored and at times, the viscious. Featuring lots of track houses.
Meg: Groove is in the Heart: When you are watching one her picks, get on the table and dance your white heart away! You can jam along to Dance Craze, alleged molestor Jacko, or the classic Saturday Night Fever. And don't worry, nobody's watching.
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And lastly, a big thanks to those of you who have picked up a copy Bit Part. We appreciate the support, let us know how you like it. If you haven't yet, we got tons more, so stop by and get yours.

ok, my drainage is makin a mess. Get outta here.

www.vidtheque.com

06:28 (this snowstorm will never be over)

yo
As a Videotheque employee, I do more than remember your account and shelve discs, I also like to bring you the news. This weekend, we have encountered to small tragedies. The first, the Wal-Mart heir John Walton died in a plane crash in one of his 12 planes. I don't want to make fun of the situation, because someone's trauma isn't my comedy, but you can stop worrying, Wal-Mart will continue their exploits. The second, the voice of Tigger, Paul Winchell also died this weekend. Animators and kids alike will miss him. And now please stop with the worried phone calls, ours is fine:

no one gets it:

Diary of a Mad Black Woman: That's what I called my autobiography. Isn't that funny, I should sue. No, this isn't Eddie Murphy and the Klumps, it's Oprah's boy-toy Tyler Perry. I don't know who he is either, but he's perry popular. He brings us his funny and lucrative alter ego-an elderly black woman- and his comedic stylings. I strongly encourage you to break out of your cultural shell and rent Boyz N tha Hood...or this one I guess.

Overnight: When you watch this, you'll think to yourself, "what a JACKASS!" and then wish and wish and wish that you were him. This is the story of Troy Duffy, bartender by day, screenwriter by night. The all-powerful Weinsteins bought his script, and soon thereafter dropped him like a bad habit. Like a nagging chain-smoking, talentless hack type of habit. He makes Gulager look like a genius. This fly-on-the-wall doc will make you laugh, cry and hate all at the same time.

other releases worth noting:
Gun (a mini-series about a )
Ren & Stimpy Season 3 and a halfish
Nick Frost's Danger! 50,000 volts! (BBC)
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I fear having to end this this way, considering we have nothing terribly exciting, yet I must. Come by, pick up Bit Part (a videotheque zine) and then go home to melt.
au revoir!
www.vidtheque.com

06:21 (buy my buffy)

yo.
I can't believe on probably one of the biggest weeks of news, I was off somewhere fighting over some dude who wants me to buy his dvd collection. From Jacko getting off (ahem), to earthquakes, to Tom and Katie getting hitched and even Leo getting his faced ripped open, we were nowhere to be found. I know you come here for the laughs each and every week, but alas last week, I failed you. My sincerest apologies and I promise that when a hot story breaks, we'll be here to bring the funny. As a small side note, happy day of birth to the Captain who remains in our cerebral cortex each and every day:

go get em tiger!:

Coach Carter: The Captain and I were having a discussion on how this film reminds me tonsly of Lean on Me. He hadn't seen it, so to better visualize the scene for him, I reenacted the following scene: (something to the effect of) Mean, Cheating Schoolboard Woman Whom You Recognize From Carmen San Diego: "He is sucking our children's life away!" Burly, Proud and Going From Zero to Hero 3rd Year Student: "Suck on this bitch!" (grabs his chatanoogas). And Scene. And oh how we laughed. Unfortunately there is no chatanooga grabbing that I know of in Coach Carter, but it's aight, you gots BadAssMoFo Samuel L. Jackson in a role only Coolio was born to play.

Cursed: After watching director Wes Craven on the frustratingly addictive Project Greenlight, it made me wonder how he was so afraid to be associated with "Feast" and then drivels out this (un)watchable dreck. Save that's my onion opinion, but come on, if it walks like a shitty movie, it just might be one. I know I'm being mean, but here's a some good things about it: it's got Creature Editing 101; French Language Track(!); and it's copy protected! Wicked Awesome!

Hostage: I would hope that I am never a Bruce Willis character. That guy gets dragged through so much mud and dirt, yeck! And even worse yet, would be his family. Take the Die Hards for example, or Armageddon, the family's always at the whim of evil, and that sucks. Anyways, the title itself may just tell you about the entire plot, but hey give old Bruce a chance.

The Jacket: A titular piece of clothing provides means for time travel (wtf?). Well, I guess it can't be that outrageous if a fridge can do the same in "Primer." Still, a jacket? Admittedly, that would be pretty dope. I would use it to take myself back in time to change the moment when I first used the term,"pretty dope." And my guess is, Adrien Brody would go back to the night he gave it to Halle Berry.

*************

I know it ain't that great of a week, but it'll get better, I promise. Also, some very exciting news. VT has worked long and hard on their latest baby. We proudly present:
Bit Part (a videotheque zine)
Featuring commentary, lists, rants, observations, letters, images and text! Come by at the end of the week to grab yours. See what little we do with our time!

go out and picket at Santa Maria.

www.vidtheque.com

06:07 (carl sagan is a madman)

hey all
welcome back. Around this time of year, many a students are undergoing that very important change in their school career. They finish. To hell with it all I say, graduates from high school and universities all abound will descend upon our itty bitty video store, err international film archive, and ask that ubiquitous question--"are you hiring?" No, but we will always be glad to give you an application, if in return you give us a little dance. While I take a peak at the creme de la creme, here's your graduation present, sorry it's not a car:

pomp and circumstance:

The Agronomist: Free Huey this is not. Director Jonathon Demme interviews Jean Dominique--Hatian activist and occasional radio DJ--.over the course of several years chronicling the controversial, and at often times dangerous, moments in his life. Assassinated on April 3, 2000, Dominique never quelled his passion for human life. And here you are wasting your time reading this.

Be Cool: Chili Palmer returns with a vengeance. Only this time he's out to hit the music industry. Vince Vaughn (the hilarious) plays Raji, a sleazy music manager who likes to absorb all cultures, in particular the urban African-American one, and play the fool. Sound familiar (think hmm, Marshall Mathers). The follow-up to Get Shorty got 'cool' reviews, but glad to see they got Danny DeVito out of Puxatawny, Pennsylvania.

Beyond the Sea: On a cold night, say about 4 years ago, a young Kevin Spacey hosted Come Together: The Words and Music of John Lennon. That night, Mr. Spacey got on the mic and chewed out his version of Lennon's "Mind Games." Now, I'm no huge Lennon fan, more Vladmir than John, but at that moment I decided to end my singing career. Now he tackles Bobby Darin and all his glory. Damn you Mr. Spacey, damn you!!

The Machinist: Rather than plumping up like Bridget Jones, Christian Bale slimmed down to a mere 120 lbs. Most of which went straight to Zellweger's thighs. Ambient and creepy, Bale goes crazy with all those factory noises going around him, not to mention the dementia that comes about from hmm...NOT EATING!

Rock and Rule: You ask yourself, "My word, what in scalliwag might this celluloid epic be?" and I tell you it's an old animation in the style of Ralph Bakshi, featuring the wonderful voice talents of musical icons: Lou Reed, Debbie Harry, and Iggy Pop. So much for artistic integrity. No, I kid, I wanna be his dog too. Still I can't shake the feeling that someone, somewhere said that this would be awesome. I'm guessing the world just craved an animated Cheap Trick.

Seed of Chucky: Yes!

The Sopranos Season 5: It indeed has arrived, here for your loving. I won't say much, but I must say the cover I find very odd. Aside from it being very heroic, it stinks of Civil War photographer Matthew Brady. Also, seems like someone else is a little jealous of the Six Feet Under art direction and stealing the Gregory Crewdson photography concepts. But I digress, come get your fix.
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New Staff Recs!

Mark: Foreign Film Fiesta: The title's the same, but the movies aren't. Recent adds are Mon Oncle, Show me Love, and Truffaut's Stolen Kisses.
Jules: Click it or Ticket: The recent PSAs circulating heavily have caught Julia's eye and gave her this month's pix. Try Ronin, Two Lane Blacktop and Cannonball. And remember, buckle up!
Paul: Overnight: The freaks come out at night. Ever have one of those nights you don't believe ever could've happened? Well, those nights, amongst other crazy improbable evenings are displayed here in thrid shelf from the top.
Andy: The Surplus Woman: No, it's not about Kirstie Alley, but rather a form of feminist doctrine. What is a surplus woman? Well, go read Gilbert and Gubar's The Madwoman in the Attic and see fawlty male rationalization at it's best.
Jessie: Out of Time: Wish you had more than 24 hrs, or a simple time machine? So does Jessie, and since she can't either she chooses to live vicariously through Time Bandits, Donnie Darko and let's not forget Bill & Ted.
Megs: Femal American Directors: If you can't figure it out by the name, I think you need to go work a Blockbuster. Megs scoured all of VTs inventory and found all things femal, all things american, and all things film and made a big recommended caserole. And that's a lot of cooking. C'mon try some, they are the better half.

ok! phew! I didn't think I'd make it through. I'm going to bed.

05:31

hey all

so I can imagine you are reading this from the very comfort of your own home, maybe drinking a glass of wine or Naked Orange Juice, stereo in the background playing Vashti Bunyan's Just Another Diamond Day, and your shoes on the floor lying next to your Jack Russel Terrier. All the while a certain two, namely myself and Megs, starve our soul here at VT. Now if I were a veteran or my pops, I think I'd be offended and upset at not getting the chance to observe such a patriotic day. But alas, since I am not, and know not, I am forced to stand here in my new kicks, and give you the latest--and what appears to be the year's worst--releases. Not that I mind. I love you guys in this place, but one can't help being a bit deflated after seeing Tom, Dick, and Harry floundering in Garfield Park. Now while I pack up my things and get booted out for bitching, here's this weeks, uh, winners:

bring on the unemployment checks:

Boogeyman: It's a sad day in DVDland when I have to start these things off with the film, er movie, er whatever, Boogeyman. Following the shallow footsteps of studio moguls wanting to cash in on young naive moviegoers, this cashcow is full of shock/non-shock shockers and some good looking people. And I'm sad to report that their is not spike going through Paris in this one.

Home Movies Season Deux: From the genius mind of Brendon Small (I don't know who he is either, but someone here loves him) comes this second season of animated craziness. Based on the life of the real life Brendon Small, animation has never been more autobiographical.

Game Over: Kasparov & the Machine: Move over you pansy Bobby Fisher, Kasparov is in town. If you didn't get the reference I am talking about chess, a game I know nothing about but always pretend to know how to play. I've actually kicked some regal ass with mad skills. Anyways, Kasparov dares an IBM superton computer to whoop him in his game of choice. It's kinda how you play solitaire on a lazy Memorial Day, only without the strategy and intellect.

we also have about 1 thousand copies of My Brilliant Career. Come get on so we don't regret our purchase.

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I told you there's nothing. But don't worry! Next week we have tons and new staff recs! Lord knows how much you love those!

go out and take advantage of your day off. I know I would.

www.vidtheque.com

05:24 (nice cannes)

HeeHaw Summer is in full blaze these daze. I'm sweatin more than Condi at the War Commission Hearings. And trust me, that's bucket's full (eww). Despite the sun taking me for a piggy back, Cannes went well on it's way. I usually start these things with some ridiculous non-sequiter, but in light of such a cinematic occasion, I figured I'd be someone professional... Carrots are good, brocoli's better: where is my mind:

The Aviator: That's funny. Howard Hughes said the same thing before chewing on his ten inch finger nails. Leo the Lion stars as the said Hughes in Scorsese's big, gigantic, can't-get-any-bigger-unless-you're-james-cameron-or-ridley-scott EPIC. Featuring a gangbusters cast and a few Academy Awards attached to it's name. I can't say this one tickles my funny bone, but the rest of America and Videotheque certainly can dance atop the Howard Hughes beard. But before you wet your pants at the sound of Hughes' name, let's not forget to thank Mr. Clifford Irving such a delightful story.

Chappelle's Show Season 2: He's gone crazy. South Africa is quite a long way for spiritual healing. Don't you agree? You must admit the timing is questionable, sorta like how Paris Hilton's sex tape came out right before the Simple Life debut. He must be hitting that spiritual magic dust. Maybe his absence will make you appreciate his show more better. Ah hell, just pick up your bong and join the fun.

Fat Actress: I was going to call my reality show that, but Kirstie Alley said she'd eat me if I did. And since I didn't want to become caloric energy, I opted to call it: One Chunk of a Man. It's a dating show *wink wink* Anyways, I'm in no position to make fun of that women, Late Night does it for me, I am simply here to make fun of disabled Chinese dwarfs.

MPD Psycho: Mmm, I'd rather not.

16 Years of Alcohol: Shit! Who knew they made a movie about my dad. So that's what happened to him. Here I thought he was a war hero and died saving a village from Napalm and Jehovas, with only one leg and eye, crawling up & down the mountainous slope of Mt. Kilamanjaro without a translator! I guess my mom lied to me. Pass the scotch.

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That's it. I know I've teased you before but I assure you that our very own zine is on it's way. Don't worry, I'll keep you informed of it's arrival once we get our heads off the bar. Until then, I bid thee a fair day! get off the internet now.

www.vidtheque.com

05:17

Hey dudes After a long, somewhat tiring weekend, I come to this computer to do my weekly drudge. Today it's seems a tad bit trivial, although I do enjoy doing these things. Over the past week, I lost a dear friend. Knowing that some of her friends are kind reader's of this humbled author's quips, my heart goes out to you. Now, onto the funny: oh boy, here it comes:

Kinsey: Sex. It's all you ever think about. Don't you have anything better to do? Yeah I don't either, but still I keep it to myself. Not that hornball Alfred Kinsey. He had to go around peeping into people's bedrooms, discovering everybody's nasty little secrets. He know's yours I bet. And recommends that you use cool whip instead.

Notre Musique: Legendary Jean-Luc Godard actually still makes movies. As to how good they are, is still left to be decided, but at least baby's still in the game. Taking the documentary to a critical format, Godard examines mankind's affinity to war through the ages. Using Dante as his structure his juxtaposition of images, speech and narrative to compile an interesting picture all his own. Here's what IMDB said: The structure is that of the Divina Commedia, with a rhetorical twist. "Death is the impossibility of possibility, or the possibility of impossibility. Thus, 'I is another.'" Or, as Godard explains, it's "champ contre champ," shot and reverse shot, a tacit equation (similarly, "writers don't know what they're talking about, men of action can't express themselves. Look at Mao."). Moreover, each section is described as a "royaume" (the title could be a reference to Rimbaud, "Savant music is lacking to our desire."). oh, I get it.

The Sea Inside: Don't let the Terry Shaivo case fool you. This controversy has been long abound. Euthanasia riles everybody's feathers. I'm thinking the Florida politicians, as well as those inhabiting the white house, didn't take a walk down to the cinema to check this one out. If it were up to me, it'd been homework. The awesome Javier Bardem, stars in Alejandro Amenbar's follow up to The Others. Winner of the 2004 Academy Award for Best Foreign Picture, it certainly will drop some tears slightly flutter your feathers.

Seinfeld Season 4: "It's a Nipple!"

Six Feet Under Season 3: Yes, Yes, Yes it's here. You can't stop salivating for the third season has finally arrived. Come get your fix of one HBO's better, less talked about productions. Featuring Gregory Crewdson photography!

Tarnation: Word of mouth gem, all done on one man's Imac. Jonathan Caouette's first feature mixes home movies, photos, psychedelic swirlies and text to tell of his relationship with his madre. Fascinating in seeing found footage and film functioning as psychotherapy. Now go make yours.

Team America: World Police: The puppets are alive!! Thanks to Trey Parker and Matt Stone, bitches from South Park. Hilarious in making fun of everything and everyone mixed up in the politco world. Puppet sex? Yup, it's there, safely restored for your viewing pleasure. This is funny. Recommended.

White Noise: aejsfdbn;fsvbn;dfvn;dufjvbn;sdfjvb;dsfivbdkfjvnbdsfvndofvnsd;pofnvdsf'ovsdnfdiubvd;oivna;dovbadsf;ovn dafovbasdfpvndf';idfnpasdbnvpasnvas;nvaposbas;osb;usdbf;dsuffnfnasdnvoirhsau ydgyasib;dbvd;fvb;uidb ;svb;asudvbsa;ua;o phew! I hear dead people.

other fine releases that I can't think of anything funny to say: Candide It's Easier for a Camel (Italy) The Green Butchers (Denmark) Bear Cub (Spain) My Mother Likes Women (Spain)

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Now that's all.

Pick up the new West Video Magazine (here, there, everywhere!) to see the debut of our badass commercial. It's worth it for that alone. (Trust me) now go on.

www.vidtheque.com

05:10 (obsequious banter)

hello I was sitting on my bed cutting itty bitty letters out of last September's Artforum, and realized that the American "people" have nothing interesting going on in their lives if they are as captivated by this American Idol/Paula Abdul 'scandal' as I think they are. Please. They should change the name of the show to American Idle. All I'm saying is the show sucks. Now, while I get thrashed and torn into equally itty bitty as my letters, here's a lot of other things to keep you away from channel eleven: completely, utterly terrible:

Alone in the Dark: See the above line.

Assault on Precinct 13: Knowing somewhat John Carpenter's personality, he must be steaming in his pants at the thought of remaking his 1976 version, not that it was an instant classic to being with. It's just that every interview I see with him, there are always to constants: 1) He always seems to be losing more and more hair and 2) He's always pissed off about something. Hmm, maybe it's related.

In Good Company: That used to be Videotheque's motto but we thought it to be sissy-like. So we went with "Videotheque: This ain't yo momma's sto!" And it has seem to work miracles. Topher seems to think so, he is always walking in here thinking about clever comebacks to throw at Ashton Kutcher. And then he goes on and on about how he made out with Scarlett Johansson. Pssh, I say, I got me Paul action last night. The Last Shot: More like Matthew Broderick's last shot at trumping his wife's success. Mean, patronizing, bitter? Yes, I'm all that but at least I can say kindly that I enjoy Alec Baldwin's work. So at least there's some salvation here. Although, you can't blame him for The Cat in the Hat. That was all Ron Howard.

The Life Aquatic: Hipster, geek and cinefiles alike scream with glee when you mention Wes Anderson's name. Bill Murray and a cast that rivals that of It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad World, star in this Costeauian tale of love, redemption and pirates(?) I do agree with critics when they say they should give Bill Murray an oscar, I just don't think it's for this movie. But don't get me wrong, he's great. However, I am sad to report that both Pagoda and Luke Wilson are noticebly absent from this picture. and that makes me sad (cue 60s pop jingle).

Life and Death of Peter Sellers: This HBO production finally makes it's way outside the television box, only to be packaged and sent back into the box. Why oh Why do the Entertainment gods play with us!? Anyways, Geoff Rush stars as the titicular character setting comedic standards. Charles Theron co-stars as then-hottie, Britt Ekland amongst a smorgasbord of actors. Merchant of Venice: If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you rent us, are we not returned on time? Well 2 out of 3 ain't bad. Shakespeare's lesser produced plays made it out with mildy good reviews, despite it's controversy about race relations. Pacino's Shylock is to Shakespeare as to Keanu's Neo is to geeks. Amazing!

Sometimes in April: Fresh of the Rwandian Massacre, this Don Cheadleless HBO production recants yet another story during those tumultuous times. HBO, always willing to sacrifice dollars, pays homage as no other network could. Literally, the goddamn FCC will jump on your backs if you don't oblige. And we have only one woman to blame.

other fine releases: Jan Dara (Thailand) The Pornographer (France) Racing Stripes

************************************* New Staff Recs!

Paul: You're not paranoid if they're really out to get you: You guessed it! Paranoia isn't merely the cause of bad sleep and drugs, sometimes the loons are right. Featuring lots of people running, filled with action and more dramatic climaxes then a Russ Meyer flick! Featuring The Bourne Movies, Ipcress File and 3 days of the Condor.

Andy: La Comedia Del Arte: Pantaloons, Fools and Jesters all abound. Filled with curiouser curiouser clowns and artists, Andy's picks this month collects the best of the best circus circus.

Meg: Female Visionaries: Tired of the inherit sexism throught history? Well this bad-ass section is down your alley. Bring to lightcinema's least appreciated half of the sexes, Meg's section's got enough to make you reconsider film history.

Jessie: No regrets for our youth: Ah kids. Aren't they great? Well, these kids are discovering themselves as well as life. And sometimes it's not easy.

(man!) well that's it. go out and be merry

www.vidtheque.com

05:03 (we came running)

hey While most of Southern California left their condos, beaches and starbucks to trek down to sweltering Coachella Valley this weekend, myself and about hmm, countless others decided to take it easy and selflessly let you have all the fun at this year's music fest. Now, I pride myself on sharing the beautiful, musical wealth, but be now warned: Lollapalooza is mine. HE! While I go and cry in a corner, here's something else for you throw in my face: jealousy also comes in brown:

The Chorus: This ain't your Zack Morris High School Glee Band. It's closer to Mr. Holland's Opus. Although it would be great if there was a French version of Screech running around saying "Zoiks-eur!" Anyways, a bunch of prepubescent boys sing their heart's desire in this heart-warming Frenchie. Bring it home for you, the family or even Michael Jackson. Zinger!

Enduring Love: I've told you since the beginning. Rhys Ifans is crazy! Look at his hair! After witnessing a Danny Deckchair-like accident with a balloon he falls madly in love not with hottie Samantha Morton, but the dude from Tomb Raider! If I was him, I'd be like, dude, I can't be with you. Let me serenade you with the following song: "Love hurts, love scars, Love wounds, and marks, Any heart, not tough, Or strong, enough To take a lot of pain, Take a lot of pain Love is like a cloud Holds a lot of rain Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts" Then he'd be off my jock, damn sure!

National Treasure: If you think this is full of predictable love story, unbelievable plots, overblown fx and too much of Nicolas Cage--your right, but let's not forget how well they've honored our forefathers. You just know Ben Franklin wanted to be a blockbuster hit. All sarcasm aside, I kinda liked it. but shhh, I'll get my ass whooped here if anybody finds out.

Phantom of Opera: Joel Schumacher's come a long way. From putting nipples on Batman's costume to capitalizing on the out-dated musical scene. Let me ask you one thing: Why is he still making movies? The producers should have said NO when they saw 8mm and Flawless on his resume. You should be ashamed Andrew Lloyd Webber, ashamed.

********************* Slim pickins this week I know, but we have new Staff Recs going up, also if you happened to be inside the building, don't look over our new wall! It's called, ahem: Older Titles New to DVD! Rolls right off your tongue doesn't it? Anyways, films that aren't exaclty new--say The Philadelphia Story--that have made their way to plastic will be stored here. So say hello to them.

Thank goodness I'm done, you're giving me finger cramps. bye

www.vidtheque.com

04:26 (sin tristeza)

He yall So they elected a new guy. You would think they would have it mind to get someone say, a tad bit younger. From what I also hear, there is this little bitty rumor of his treue to a certain, past, um, totalitarian regime circa 1940s. Hmmm... I'm no conspiracy theorist, nor some anti-christ, but I'm just saying is all. Anyways, while I rot away in hell here's something that will take your mind off my purgatory: It's hot down here:

The Assassination of Richard M. Nixon: Ok, the "M" really isn't in the title, but if the producers were going to be so succinct with the naming of this film, would an extra letter really of hurt? No. Plus, the "M" stands for Milhous! Sean Penn plays Samuel Bicke, yet another mentally disturbed character, as the boy who wants to crash an airliner into the white house! Crazy coincidence? I hope not, I hope Niels Mueller is on the run cuz here comes the fuzz!

Blade Trinity: Ex-Guy (from 2 guys, a girl and pizza parlor) Ryan Reynolds has stated that he hates Wesley Snipes cuz he's a dick. I'm inclined to agree with him. Apparently, Snipes was in character 24/7 and alienated everybody-including Reynolds. Now wouldn't it be ironic if Alanis came over to the set and whooped his ass? Nah, that would be just fortunate.

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events: Watch me tie the word "unfortunate" into the following: I happened to be on an unfortunate plane back from unfortunate Connecticut when unfortunate American Airlines made an unfortunate decision of playing this unfortunate movie. There's only so many words that I can handle in a title, and since Milhous ain't one of them, I'm outee.

The Manson Family: Blood, gore, sex and bald heads fill this movie. The latest attempt to encompass the fog of Manson. A culty appeal I can assumer, but man there is a ton of blood in this thing.

Undertow: David Gordon Green is my shining light. No, he's not, that title belongs to Lynne Ramsay, but hell he's pretty close. His latest is everything from thriller to 70s homage. It was quiet at the box office, but even Roger Ebert likes it--and he hates everything that doesn't have nudity. Recommended.

8888888888888888888888888888888

Well, it's a bit slow this week, so that's it. Please. Go. Home.

www.vidtheque.com

04:19 (slowly, surely)

Hey gang Have you ever thought how great life can be if everyone drove at the speed you did? Yeah, it would awesome wouldn't it. Welps, seeing as I and maybe a select few have lead feet, my dreams are far from being reality. I remember once, ages ago, there was some talk and a design for a high that drives the car for you! Obviously it's some planner's sick joke to get us erected (not sexually you pervert) and tumble us back down. Sigh. I'm just ever so glad that tomorrow's releases will get me and Mike up in Seattle off the gas and on our ass(es). So enjoy these and the lymeric. I get car sick in boats:

Birth: Nicole "Yek" Kidman stars in Jonathan Glazer's thriller about the Buddhist belief of reincarnation. Some kid shows up at her door to lay claim that she is his wife and he, her dead husband. And I quote: "Sup, baby! Yo daddy's hear to ya hom and smack that!" Or to the effect of. Watch it to see how Kubrickian it is and awe at the wonders of aging in Ms. Lauren Bacall.

House of Flying Daggers: Sometimes I pride ourselves a little too much and think we are good. Damn good. But let's not be egotistical, it's just that we've had this mutha 4-eva! Albeit a Korean import, but hell, any which way you can. Anyways, swing on by and grab the official "american" copy.

Genealogies of a Crime: Cat Deneuve stars in Raoul Ruiz's 1997 release of a murder mystery. Michel Picoli co-stars. I don't have anything funny to say about this, so I am going to cut my losses and move on. Continuer..

A Lovesong for Bobby Long: I won't go into the details as to why they call him Bobby Long, but Scarlett Johansson is happy to be near him. Someone needs to call Jenny Jones and get John Travolta a make-over. Man, I'm not sure if that's make-up or what Scientology does to you. Damn you L. Ron Hubbard, what have you done to my Vinnie Barbarino!!

Meet The Fockers: So the ongoing joke in the world is to take the Fock and substitute it for another more famous four letter f-word. You see, it's funny because it's like you ARE cussing, but you AREN'T. Now, if there was no such thing as the word "fuck" that wouldn't be funny. But thanks to laws of semiotics, signs and signifiers-it is. Thank you Mr. Roland Barthes. In conjuction with the celebration, below I have listed possible euphemisms and adjectives to use on your loved ones. Enjoy: "Don't be such a dumbass you motherfocker!" "Put that donut down you focker!" "When I'm done with you, I'm gonna fock you, fock your mom and fock your third cousin--in the ear!" "Hey baby, ever focked like a wallaby before?" "Oh man, this movie's focked."

Primer: A surprising winner in my book, Primer is Shane Caruth's first outing into the world of Hollywood. I think he tops Vincent Gallo in wearing more hats in the production of this than anybody I've ever known. I came into this with no expectation of liking but left definitely happy. Now, I ain't painting you a picture out of gold or anything, but if you like an interesting, strange story and Donnie Darko than your in. But don't hold me to it.

A Red Bear: That was my nickname in high school because I was and am so damn cuddly. And when they tickled me, I turned red and ate them.

***************** Staff Recs Updated (kinda, hardly) Meg/Spiritual Solutions Kat/Some Kinda Love

That's it for now. Thank you for daring to be a part of this. Adieu

www.vidtheque.com

04:12 (glorious return)

Woowee! Hey all You'll have to excuse me for missing last week's uppy, I was unfortunately incapacitated due to my misfortune involving a girl, a ball, and a slippery floor. D'oh! Anyways, since I know you've been waiting here on myspace.com salivating eagerly for our return, I can only do what I know best to repay you. So my friend, I encourage you to sit back, close your eyes and relax: Now you've spoiled it!

Bad Edumacation: The man known as Almodovar has returned with this widely-seen new feature entitled, Mala Educacion! Gael Garcia Bernal stars as a possible alter ego for Mr. Almoldovar(?) with mystery, film, and of course deviant sex. A bit too flashy for my taste, but if you notice carefully at the least hmm, 3-4 films of Almo, the "women" dwindle by every film. It's kind of ironic too, seeing as his biggest fanbase are those ubiquitous desperate housewives. (yek!)

Criminal: I don't give a flying crap what you say about this man, but I looooveee John C. Reilly. And apparently so does Mr. P.T. Anderson. Welps, this flick is of course a remake of the nice Argentinian Nine Queens. It's full of tricks, cons, laughs and Maggie Gyllenhaal. That should be enough for you so go on, get outta here.

Dig!: [Their !, not mine.] Eagerly anticipated by hipsters and sub-par musical lovers everywhere, this doc tracks the love/hate/hate relationship of The Dandy Warhols and The Brian Jonestown Massacre. If you are familiar with their music, I'm sorry, but if you ain't this doc would surely keep you entertained or at least occupied for two hours. See, what they should've done was make a doc about Hall/Oats v. Air Supply. There's more cat fighting in that than an Almodovar flick! In any case, rent it, buy it, and then go to Amoeba and ask Joel Glion to sign your copy. He'll love you dude!

Hotel Rwanda: Don "The Chameleon" Cheadle stars in this critically lauded indie about the Rwandian incident. It's good when films also serve as history books. I still have no clue what the 'incident' is. Maybe I should educate myself and take a gander. Or only half watch it while I go on friendster(!), but then that would be bad education wouldn't it! Ha!

Ocean's Twelve: I think of these guys as the new Rat Pack. It must've been hard making this movie, drudging away to set via limo, having to wait on the yacht submitting to meals of caviar and champagne. Jeez, and here I thought Soderbergh hadn't lost his humility.

Suspect Zero: Ghandi himself stars as a mass murderer on the loose while two naive FiBIs try too bring him to justice. One of them is played by Aaron Eckhart and I hate that guy.

The Woodsman: I wanted to catch this one at the boxxx office but ran out of time. Kevin and his Bacon star as a reformed? pedophile erst while Ben Bratt keeps an eerie, almost sexual eye on him as he lives near a school. Good idea huh? Kyra Sedgwick wants his lovin. See? It's a perfect date movie!

*********************** And that's about it, I think you our staff picks this time 'round, but I'll go ahead and repeat them for you.

They are: Mark/Foreign Film Fiesta Rick/Double Crossing Dames Andy/The Strokes Mega/Who do you think you are? (which is in the process of dismantling) Elise/See ya, Wouldn't Wanna be Ya! (she's gone) Jesse/Infotainment Kat/My Favorite Boys

I think that brings us to the end. Go out, buy yourself a mini, and live the splendid world. Now get off our myspace property. Ciao!

www.vidtheque.com

03:29

Heyall So I feel a bit refreshed. There was no life-threatening emergency last week, it was that I sir, had skipped out of town. So my apologies for those avid readers. Seeing as that Club VT has ventured into the advertising market and has completed their very own commercial! Yes, so let us celebrate, dance smooth and suave, and enjoy the way the rain lands on the top of our heads! Certainly, maybe, possibly...

After the Sunset: On my short hiatus from this wretched place(!), the wonderful airline I was trapped in decided to screen this gem. When they announced the feature, I exclaimed with glee, picked up my book and read the rest of the way home. Closer: Speaking of wretched things, the characters in this film seem to live in that vile piece of land. Sexual politics and vendettas collide in this hot ticket brought to you by Mr. Mike Nichols. Featuring the wonderful acting talent of Clive Owen, and then that of Jude Law, Patalie Nortman, and Ms. Lips herself, Julia Roberts. To prepare herself for the part, Julia Roberts had Jude Law kick her in the balls.

Crimson Rivers: Angels of the Apocalypse: Man, this sounds sooo goth. Reminds me of my ol' high school days. Also a former VT employee. Shh. I remember we would go to the Colorado River, sacrifice one of the witches and christen the river, The Crimson River. And then we got bored and decided to play Contra or Metroid. Remember the feeling you got when you found out in Metroid that she was a girl?! Those were the days.

Orgazmo!: Yes, I know this came out ages ago when Mormons were funny. But it has finally made it out to DVD, which means you can pause and rewind all those gorgeous babes as they are 'rescued' by Orgazmo. Features tons of zany, unsuitable-for-all-viewers commentary and plenty of other preversitivty.

Vera Drake: Oscar's long-shot at winning the best actress nod this year, this tiny little film by VT's fave Mike Leigh. This scripted/unscripted epic follows Mrs. Drake as she helps those in need by committing black market abortions. Sounds like a future Veggie-Tales episode to me. The giant Cucumber hides in London's streets as the Artichoke attempts to abort the Peppers unborn seedling. They are then arrested and sentenced to death on a long, swealtering skewer. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

*********************** New Staff Recs!! YES!! We have overthrown those Oscar Nods and commited an act of self-endulgence! Here are the fruits of our labor!

Mark: Forgein Film Fiesta: Consider it a taco salad of foreign films. Picking his favorites and best of the best fromt he world has to offer. This section reminds me of the painting shows at MOCA. Check out Mark's section to enjoy films that make you go "yeesss."

Andy: The Strokes: No, not the band. This topic is too sensitive to discuss therefore I will let you figure out Andy's sick joke. *Please Note that Andy's sense of humor does not reflect the rest of those who are employed here at Videotheque.

Meg: Who Do You Think You Are?: Feeling like you have a personality conflict? Not feeling yourself these days? Well, come sulk with one of the characters from Meg's section. Amensia, Denial, Illness...it's all here baby.

Elise: See ya! Wouldn't Want to be Ya!: For the last time, enjoy's Elise's pick. As reiterated by her section, she has moved on to better pastures and has ditched us all, like dust in the wind. Pay your respects to her by check out her swan songs of staff picks.

Introducing, Jessie: Infotainment: New girl Jessie has arrived in lieu of Elise's departure. She has already grabbed the store by the horns and called it it's bitch. She made it bark and yell out the best Documentaries it can think of. The resulting spouts are displayed here in all it's glory in her inagaural selection of recs. Make her feel welcome. So YES! back to our bad selves.

I hope you had a great Easter by laughing. Be good and don't be a stranger. go home.

www.vidtheque.com